Seafood Joke

[rods]

A young man takes his girlfriend to a seafood restaurant. They sit surrounded by the living menu in various tanks around them. The woman chooses a lobster, which the maitre d' fishes out of the tank and sends off to the kitchen. "And for you, sir?" he asks the man. The man wants to impress his date so selects this very wierd looking green octopus with a moustache and beard. The maitre d' looks apprehensively at the tank and then calls into the kitchen:"Hans, the gentleman would like the octopus."

Hans comes out of the kitchen and tries to remove the creature from its tank but it goes for him and bites his hand. Hans screams and drops it back in the tank. "You wimp" says the maitre d'. "Go and get the cook."

The cook comes out and the maitre d' again says "Jervais, the gentleman would like the octopus." The cook takes one look at the tank and says "I'm not putting my hand in there!"

The maitre d' is very apologetic and says to the young man: "I'm sorry sir but would you mind ordering something else? I'm afraid Hans that do dishes can be soft as Jervais with the wild green hairy-lip squid"!

[John_Betong]

A young man takes his girlfriend to a seafood restaurant. They sit surrounded by the living menu in various tanks around them.

The woman chooses a lobster, which the maitre d' fishes out of the tank and sends off to the kitchen.

"And for you, sir?" he asks the man.

The man wants to impress his date so selects this very wierd looking green octopus with a moustache and beard. The maitre d' looks apprehensively at the tank and then calls into the kitchen:"Hans, the gentleman would like the octopus."

Hans comes out of the kitchen and tries to remove the creature from its tank but it goes for him and bites his hand. Hans screams and drops it back in the tank. "You wimp" says the maitre d'. "Go and get the cook."

The cook comes out and the maitre d' again says "Jervais, the gentleman would like the octopus." The cook takes one look at the tank and says "I'm not putting my hand in there!"

The maitre d' is very apologetic and says to the young man: "I'm sorry sir but would you mind ordering something else? I'm afraid Hans that do dishes can be soft as Jervais with the wild green hairy-lip squid"!

Tha reminds me of:

The Lobster and the Crab

Once upon a time there was a lobster named Larry and a sand crab named Sam who were fantastic musicians on the disco circuit.

They jammed for many years until one night, after a gig and a few beers, they stepped out of a club and were run down and killed by a Mack truck.

Larry the Lobster goes to heaven and Sam the Sand Crab goes to hel_l.

One day Larry says to St. Peter, "I sure miss my old buddy Sam, I hear he has his own disco down there. Do you think I could go visit him and jam some, just one more time?"

St. Peter says, "I think you can have a one time, one-evening pass to hel_l to jam with Sam." Larry is elated and asks St. Peter for an instrument. "All we have in Heaven are harps," he says. Larry the Lobster shrugs and says, "That will just have to do!"

So Larry goes off to hel_l and has a fantastic time. He and Sam jam all night, just like the old days. When he comes back and sees St. Peter, he thanks him profusely for the pass. But St. Peter just looks at Larry funny and asks him, "Aren't you forgetting something?"

Larry thinks for a second, then smacks his forehead and says ...

"I left my harp in Sand Crabs Disco."

[OneeyedJohn]

In Tenerife my wife and I went to a very select sefood restaurant where a large tank held this most wonderful large lobster near the entrance. I enquired as to the price and was quoted 4500 Pesetas. Seemed reasonable enough so that was my order.

I struggled to eat this monster, so we took the remains home. However the bill when it was presented to me was huge, something like 35 thousand pesetas . A polite and drunken query brought the revelation that the 4500 I was quoted was PER KILO and my little darling weighed over 5.

The worst of it all was having eaten and drunk so much I later that night proceeded to plaster my hotel tiolet wall with Lobster Thermidor. ( a chunder to remember unfortunately )

I've never really felt the same about Lobster since :D