Liverpool Jokes

[gpt]

The CIA are now concentrating their search for Bin Laden in Liverpool as they believe he has many relatives there. These include:-

Bin Lazy

Bin Thievin'

Bin Shirkin'

Bin Pi**ed

Bin an A**hole

What do you call a scouser in a four bedroom house?

A burglar

What do you call a scouser in a shirt and tie?

The accused

[Little Black Duck]

The CIA are now concentrating their search for Bin Laden in Liverpool as they believe he has many relatives there. These include:-

Bin Lazy

Bin Thievin'

Bin Shirkin'

Bin Pi**ed

Bin an A**hole

What do you call a scouser in a four bedroom house?

A burglar

What do you call a scouser in a shirt and tie?

The accused

What do you call a Scouser who needs a Hair Cut..???

A Beatle..

[Pink Mist]

We call kiwis in a shirt and tie, the defendant

[JacknDanny]

The CIA are now concentrating their search for Bin Laden in Liverpool as they believe he has many relatives there. These include:-

Bin Lazy

Bin Thievin'

Bin Shirkin'

Bin Pi**ed

Bin an A**hole

What do you call a scouser in a four bedroom house?

A burglar

What do you call a scouser in a shirt and tie?

The accused

What do you call a Scouser who needs a Hair Cut..???

A Beatle..

Or the Scouser who goes to University??

The Janitor

[Robski]

What do you say to a scouser with a job? Big Mac and fries please.

Bob Hope was on the Cilla Black show, and she gets onto the subject of his old age, saying that it must be difficult getting around and doing things other people take for granted.

Hold on he says I may be old but I can still make love like a 19 year old, 3 times every night.

Cilla blushes and reminds Bob that it's a family show and they change the subject.

After the show they're in the green room having some drinks and Cilla says to Bob, I'm getting on a bit myself and I've never slept with an older man, how about you come back to my place and show me what you mean about your sexual prowess.

They leave immediately for Cillas' place and no sooner is the door closed than Bobs got her on the hallway floor and hes at her like a rat up a drainpipe, they both reach a massive climax and collapse in a heap.

Cilla says to Bob that that was the best orgasm that she has ever had and Bob tells her that like he said he can do it three times a night and that they should go up to the bedroom.

They go upstairs and Bob says now Cilla I'm going to sleep for half an hour and I want you to hold my cock in one hand and my balls in the other and whatever you do don't lat go and when I wake up I'll make love to you again.

So he goes to sleep and Cilla holds his cock in one hand and his balls in the other and after half an hour he wakes up and he's stiff as a rod. He makes love to her with all the passion of a young man and brings her to another screaming orgasm, they're laying in each bothers arms and Cilla tells Bob that was even better than the last time and she'd never had sex so good.

Bob say to Cilla, I told you I can do it three times a night so you have more to come, first though I'm going to sleep again and the same as before I want you to hold my cock in one hand and my balls in the other and whatever you do don't let go, In half an hour I will wake up and make love to you again.

So he goes to sleep and Cilla holds his cock in one hand and his balls in the other and after half an hour he wakes up and he's hard as steel, he makes love to her for the rest of the night, making her come again and again until the sun comes up, finally they fall into each others arms exhausted, Cilla cant believe the night of passion she has just had and says Bob that is the best sex I have ever had, you have taken me to the moon and back, tell me when I hold your cock and your balls when your sleeping is that the secret to your sexual power?

No what it is says Bob is last time I shagged a scouse bird, I fell asleep and she nicked my wallet.

[surin]

We call kiwis in a shirt and tie, the defendant

And...One with a car.....A thief!

And one with a job...A Liar!

And one with a gun...Sir!

[Little Black Duck]

We call kiwis in a shirt and tie, the defendant

And...One with a car.....A thief!

And one with a job...A Liar!

And one with a gun...Sir!

In OZ They are Abos..

GPT for someone who says hes not real good at jokes you shure as heck got the best from these guys

Some of the funniest gags I've heard...

[PhilHarries]

The CIA are now concentrating their search for Bin Laden in Liverpool as they believe he has many relatives there. These include:-

Bin Lazy

Bin Thievin'

Bin Shirkin'

Bin Pi**ed

Bin an A**hole

But despite extensive enquiries and street to street searches they have failed to turn up any evidence of the whereabouts of the most elusive family member:-

Bin Workin'

[Insight]

Gay guy walks into a pub in one of the rougher areas of Liverpool, sits down next to some bloke and whispers in his ear. The bloke instantly turns around and smacks him in the eye and the gay guy quickly runs out.

A mate of the bloke asks him what the gay guy said to him. His response - "Something about a job."