The week that was in Thailand news: When I think of Thailand I think of……home

[rooster59]

The week that was in Thailand news: When I think of Thailand I think of……home

 

 

A survey carried out last month and announced this week said that Thais believe when foreigners think of Thailand they think of sex.

It got me thinking – did I ever think like that or have my rose tinted specs blurred all distinctions and left me not only old but somewhat blinded and senile.

I think the truth is that while in my earliest days in the kingdom I never really thought the day started till about 11pm and bedtime before four AM was vaguely square, there have been many intervening years in which Thailand has constantly reinvented itself in my mind.

There is however one constant that I have felt ever since I was a wide eyed 20 year old crossing a bridge on foot at Sungei Kolok and entering Thailand for the first time – it has always felt like home.

I count myself lucky in this regard as so many on a forum like Thaivisa seem, at the very least, to be miserable in Thailand and often quit its shores altogether for some place where the grass appears greener.

Good luck with that – I once thought along those lines after a romantic disappointment until I woke up one morning in Copacabana and thought what an idiot I had been. I dashed into a travel agent and bought a ticket straight back to Bangkok before I ran out of money.

The day I got back – two days before Wimbledon beat Liverpool in the FA Cup Final in 1988 – I met the woman who became my wife. On the same night I also met the woman who became my girlfriend…but that is another story.

Still, it was no surprise to me to see that Thais think foreigners associate the country with sex. If the truth be told, if Thais were able to shrug off the stock-responses that their culture often demands of them they would admit to the self-same thoughts.

During the hoo-haa and banning of the Longman’s dictionary many years ago after they suggested Thailand was synonymous with prostitution, there was an outpouring of that national sport that the kingdom is so famous for – hypocrisy.

Though I stop short of what some forum posters thought, namely that the Thais were somehow blaming foreigners for thinking below the belt when it came to Thailand. For they know in their heart of hearts that the country has attained certain images for good reason. Blaming is churlish.

This week it was like stepping back in time with the goings on in Mae Hong Son with the underage sex scandal involving officials and police. The only difference with a bygone era like the 1980s is that it would have been one of many cases and it would very likely never have reached the ears of anyone outside a stone’s throw from where it happened.

With the power of the internet the news now spreads fast – but one thing never changes; the real miscreants are always likely to get off scot-free while some low level scapegoats are hung out to dry.

Ah…Thailand! Home sweet home!

Talking of miscreants it was quite a week for Boss-hunters. Lo and behold the immigration department had to admit that said Red Bull-shitter had made an appearance in his old stomping ground.

His visit caused outrage but I couldn’t see why. It was before he was charged. Boss and his advisors are very unlikely to be as stupid as some people envious of wealth are wont to believe about the rich. He knew exactly what he was doing and will continue to do so.

Revoking his passport is futile – he will have several.

The chance of him facing criminal justice is as close to zero as can be – those who are aghast at that prospect should draw a grain of comfort from the fact that he will not be able to lord it in Thailand again for at least ten years.

He will just have to serve his time from Silverstone to Sepang with Monaco in between.

Some forum posters suggested a boycott of Red Bull which reminded me of the Thai proverb of riding an elephant to catch a grasshopper.

I have always loved “tonic drinks” and often turn to them at night instead of more beer especially now that plod is getting serious – for a few weeks of the year at least – about drink driving. I always favored Lipo in the early days as they had worthwhile prizes in the tops like motor bikes or even five baht off your next bottle.

I always seemed to win the latter – just call me lucky.

In more recent years I switched to M-150 because I thought I was getting more for my money than simply M-100 though I don’t really care which little brown bottle I have.

However, I might just avoid “Krathing Daeng” in future.

Is it just me or does it leave a nasty taste in the back of one’s throat?

The past seven days was quite a week for incidents on the airlines.

First off there was some severe turbulence on an Aeroflot flight to Bangkok that for the first time in living memory was not caused by an overindulgence of borscht and cheap vodka.

An air pocket was to blame though I would have thought with the comments of politicians this week on subjects as far ranging as submarines to beer yoga, hot air rising to the heavens may have been the real culprit.

At least 27 people were reported injured reminding us all that buckling up when not moving around the cabin may be a good idea as the captain always tells us.

It took me back to 1982 when I flew Aeroflot from Bangkok to the World Cup in Spain. It was one of the cheapest options so I went for it despite being a nervous flyer.

If I had known then what I know now I probably would have shouted “I’ve got a bomb” as the plane taxied as a Swedish man did at Swampy on a Bangkok Airways flight this week.

Just as an excuse to get off you understand.

If you have a spare moment look on Wikipedia for the number of accidents involving Aeroflot during the Soviet era. Thank goodness their record in the last twenty five years is so much better – frankly, it could not have been worse if they had asked the passengers to fly the aircraft themselves.

The Swedish idiot – predictably called a turnip by some posters – is in custody as the airline demand money and his fellow passengers probably demanded blood.

The aircraft stories led to my favorite forum comment of the week from “edwinchester” who batted ironically in defence of Aeroflot when he said: “Yes, it’s a known fact that clear air turbulence only affects Russian aircraft”.

Closer to earth, though still a tad mysterious, was the news that the company running the Pattaya to Hua Hin ferry are to introduce two more (s)wanky boats. Anecdotal evidence seems to suggest that the original ferry is only 25% full on most crossings.

Whoever owns the line seems to be shrouded in mystery and what with the “royal” moniker and the fact that a navy escort accompanied the trials, the service is beginning to replace the Koh Tao murder case for forum intrigue!

Certainly I know from my Thaivisa pals that it has proved impossible to get a freebie to report on the service. Now why wouldn’t a company be glad of free publicity?

I will leave the answer to that hanging rhetorically aloft.

The aforementioned beer yoga saga caused Thai public health authorities to assert that exercising with a bottle of ale in your hand could be illegal if not dangerous for one’s health. I couldn’t quite understand why, thinking that someone somewhere was pulling Rooster’s leg rather like pulling pints.

Anyway, the beer yoga craze apparently began in Berlin and seems a whole lot safer than eating Som Tam with fermented fish, named by another public health white coat as a major cause of “Big C” – cancer, not the store.

I was left counting my blessings, for while I would put Som Tam up there with the very best foods in the world, if there is even a hint of “pla ra” flavor leftover in the mortar from the previous customer I will gag and throw it away.

My soi angel “Pa Ruay” (otherwise known as Aunty Rich) would never dream of serving me that, even though she thinks in most regards I am more Thai than the Thais because I know how to count to ten in the vernacular and say “rorn maak maak”.

And so to this week’s Rooster awards and the first is most definitely food related – street food to be precise.

The “This Gentleman’s Not for Turning” award sponsored by the Margaret Thatcher Memorial Foundation goes to Bangkok governor Asawin for banning street food in the capital then going to Chinatown to celebrate it and say what a boon it is for tourism.

Subsequently, to add insult to injury, there he was grimacing for the cameras next to what most western tourists would consider street food public enemy number one – a Shark’s Fin soup stall.

Talk about own goals – then I remembered what Asawin meant by tourism.

Chinese tourists. Silly me.

This week’s “Darwin Award” for services to the gene pool goes to the Korat man who thought he would be quids-in looking for lottery numbers in a huge bees’ nest he had allowed to develop in his rafters. Eighty stings later and he was fighting for his life in hospital.

Though maybe he is considerably smarter than the mother in Sattahip who said that her daughter had her life saved by a giant ogre that appeared on an estate road causing her to flip the family pick-up.

Apparently had she made it to the main road destiny meant she would have carked it. As it was she only parked it – albeit on the roof.

I have always appreciated this Thai logic – it rather reminds me of Voltaire.

Finally I must admit to an extraordinary emotion this week – that of feeling sorry for a minivan driver.

Yes, I know I must have lost my Thai marbles but I couldn’t help it when I read the story and saw the video about the driver and his conductress wife being fined 5,000 baht each after fighting with a monk.

Maybe we were not apprised of the whole story but when you saw the monk start it off by punching the woman in the face one could hardly blame the driver for his reaction.

Many Thais commenting online seemed to only have eyes for the bad behavior of the driver, a view clearly supported by the transport department.

Thailand may well be my home but I’m unashamedly no Buddhist.

And I still believe in romantic British notions of fair play.

Rooster

 

 

 

-- © Copyright Thai Visa News 2017-05-06

[elgordo38]

14 hours ago, rooster59 said:

. On the same night I also met the woman who became my girlfriend…but that is another story.

Not fair leaving us hanging. There is definitely a story here. 

Edited May 7, 2017 by elgordo38

[elgordo38]

15 hours ago, rooster59 said:

And I still believe in romantic British notions of fair play.

Me to but its a fading memory at best today. Love your weekly posts Rooster makes me think of myself as a chicken scratching around in a fertile field of goodies. I am definitely getting to fat in the process. 

[bheard]

Counting to ten in the vernacular?
Please explain for this ignoramus.

[bazza73]

1 hour ago, bheard said:

Counting to ten in the vernacular?
Please explain for this ignoramus.

Neung, song, sarm, see, har, hok, jet, bet, gow, sip.

[Marvo]

Keep it up Rooster. You bring sense, reason and understanding to my life in Thailand 

[Altalake]

Great stuff Rooster!

[elgordo38]

On 5/7/2017 at 2:25 PM, bheard said:

Counting to ten in the vernacular?
Please explain for this ignoramus.

Hey no name calling on here especially yourself. Your off handidly describing the rest of us. I can't count to 10 in Thai either. 

[bheard]

Neung, song, sarm, see, har, hok, jet, bet, gow, sip.

Ah yes thank you. I do know how to count in Thai, but thought perhaps there was a little more to his comment. The dictionary explains it's something in the local tongue. Thought maybe his "soi angel" had a few different meanings up her sleeve . . . perhaps a local tongue from up Issan way. Lao. North. Deepest South?

[Jane Dough]

Vernacular just means in thai. It is a tip 'o the hat to a phrase used by bernard trink in the past.

[pentap]

I don't agree. Sorry.

Expressing an opinion does not make me a miserable person and I'm sure they goes for others too ?

[Rhys]

7 hours ago, Jane Dough said:

Vernacular just means in thai. It is a tip 'o the hat to a phrase used by bernard trink in the past.

Miss his column....