A recent Sin Sod story

[Rc2702]

Mrs's little sister got married last week to a lad 7 years her junior. He's 23 she is 30.

 

Both thai, both have low paid jobs but they managed to pull together 99k baht as a dowry for the show. 30k baht worth of gold and 59k baht cash.

 

Mrs parents- poor but completely debt free and have means to live and maintain their own existence. No concerns besides an absolute dead beat of 37 yr old son who is supposed to be a father to a 5 year old.

 

The young couple saved for 18 months and were given all the gold back and 3k baht.

 

When I heard this an hour ago I was shocked. I'd accept it if they could afford it I think but the parents must realise how difficult it must have been for them and to give back such a paltry sum of cash kind of ruins the whole event.

 

To me that's Keenok big time. 

 

I don't even like the groom either and I'm on here pouring my heart out for the lad. Shameful stuff I am seeing very close to home.

 

But I feel better now I have shared this I must say.

 

 

 

 

[Andrew Dwyer]

There's nowt worse than family.
My gf is number 9 of 10 kids !
Number 10 is a monk and had a kidney transplant on Friday!
Everyone chipped in as they could afford to pay the hospital except sister number 5 who refused point blank although she is not poor.
As you can imagine there's a real sister war going on now.

NB: I offered but was told that it was not necessary !

[Peterw42]

I find it odd that they both saved up the sinsod as it usually only the guy, as payment for the girl. I have heard of lots of cases where the money is given back, but given to the daughter only, for future security, and the guy doesnt know.

[KhaoNiaw]

6 minutes ago, Peterw42 said:

I find it odd that they both saved up the sinsod as it usually only the guy, as payment for the girl. I have heard of lots of cases where the money is given back, but given to the daughter only, for future security, and the guy doesnt know.

I think it's quite normal, especially if they're already living together and both working. I know several couples who've done that.

[1FinickyOne]

Sometimes it is interesting to look at the entire picture... Sin sod is customary amongst Thai/Thai - I have also seen numerous occasions where many family members chip in when there is a crisis... amongst family members, money can pass back and forth for varying reasons. 

 

My wife is part of a large extended family and we have been asked for loans for medical emergencies 2x recently... one was paid back within a month as more immediate family members got together. 

 

But, we are part of a very nice family. 

[Rc2702]

I am just disappointed, it seems the flow is only going 1 way and there has not been a great deal of support for my Mrs and her two hard working sisters even during the younger years. If they knew what to do with money I'd be more understanding but I just seen them waste it. With the best intentions but sadly wasted. I have cancelled my own quarterly contribution today as I do not think they need it for the foreseeable future. 

[samsensam]

46 minutes ago, Peterw42 said:

I find it odd that they both saved up the sinsod as it usually only the guy, as payment for the girl. I have heard of lots of cases where the money is given back, but given to the daughter only, for future security, and the guy doesnt know.

 

it must be love.

 

good luck to them.

[williamgeorgeallen]

sin sod stories make good reading. most westerners are lucky that they dont have to pay a sinsod if their girls are single mums. i do know of one foreigner in pattaya who paid a million thb to marry a middle aged single mother of 2 but i guess he does not understand thainess. 

[dotpoom]

11 hours ago, KhaoNiaw said:

I think it's quite normal, especially if they're already living together and both working. I know several couples who've done that.

Absolutely, can't think of anything more normal than if two people love each other and want to marry that they "pull" together to make it happen.

[1FinickyOne]

11 hours ago, Rc2702 said:

I am just disappointed, it seems the flow is only going 1 way and there has not been a great deal of support for my Mrs and her two hard working sisters even during the younger years. If they knew what to do with money I'd be more understanding but I just seen them waste it. With the best intentions but sadly wasted. I have cancelled my own quarterly contribution today as I do not think they need it for the foreseeable future. 

Does your Mrs need support? My wife spends most of her time helping out family with this or that - - and it looks like nobody helps her, but at least I know they would in a second if she needed help... everyone seems to help everyone else here. There is never much I need either but the day my car battery went dead, my BIL popped it out, took it to be recharged and put it back in and I was up and running the same morning... and I didn't need to ask... 

 

I would be disappointed too if my wife did not get support in return if needed... but, I cannot imagine that... if there is a problem here, everyone helps out... when my niece who I am raising was in the hospital and I would return home, there would be 20 people waiting in the driveway with food and clean clothes and ready to do anything needed... 

 

It is tough to give money though and see it wasted - I would be careful about giving in that situation too... good luck to you. 

[tonray]

Simple, new motorbike for the 37 year old son on the way with a bit left over for gambling debts.

[Fulwell53]

28 minutes ago, tonray said:

Simple, new motorbike for the 37 year old son on the way with a bit left over for gambling debts.

This was a nice thoughtful thread until your post.

[tonray]

1 minute ago, Fulwell53 said:

This was a nice thoughtful thread until your post.

That's the downside of public forums, not everyone will like what they see.

[thaiowl]

"No concerns besides an absolute dead beat of 37 yr old son who is supposed to be a father to a 5 year old."

Many families seems to have problem sons.

[Stevemercer]

My wife's son (Thai) married a Thai girl and paid 250,000 Baht sin sod. However, the girl's mother kept all of the money for herself and returned nothing to the couple. She also kept all the money given in envelopes by guests at the wedding. My wife reckoned that was poor form, but there was nothing that could be done about it. 

[prakhonchai nick]

28 minutes ago, Fulwell53 said:

This was a nice thoughtful thread until your post.

But I think he spoke the truth about where the money will go. Seen it in my locality far too often.

[prakhonchai nick]

I wonder if the couple did actually get married. More likely they had the "show wedding" where all the money and gold was displayed. but like so many Thai couples did not or have not as yet registered the marriage.

 

Why bother?. Why take care of everyone else, feed all the villagers who come for the freebie, and then have no money left to take care of themselves. If they love each other, just live together. .It happens throughout the Western world! Times are a changing but not in Thailand it seems!!

 

 

[Rc2702]

1 hour ago, prakhonchai nick said:

But I think he spoke the truth about where the money will go. Seen it in my locality far too often.

I agree, the lad will definitely get a piece one way or another and if he deserved it fairplay but he is nothing but a lazy leach. 

[neeray]

When my Thai gal's daughter married a Thai, the parents of the groom asked how much she wanted for her daughter. 

Her answer was, "my daughter is not for sale" but if you have money to give, please give it to the newlyweds". So they have the couple 250,000 baht. 

I was so proud of her, "my daughter is not for sale" !

These are 2 wonderful, large Thai families, now grandparents to "lovely boy". 

And like others have described here, they help each other. 

How did I get so lucky !

[Rc2702]

1 hour ago, prakhonchai nick said:

I wonder if the couple did actually get married. More likely they had the "show wedding" where all the money and gold was displayed. but like so many Thai couples did not or have not as yet registered the marriage.

 

Why bother?. Why take care of everyone else, feed all the villagers who come for the freebie, and then have no money left to take care of themselves. If they love each other, just live together. .It happens throughout the Western world! Times are a changing but not in Thailand it seems!!

 

 

Correct it was simply a day for show. 

[csabo]

I pay my sin sod every month. Sin sod translates to "rent and groceries" right??

[elgordo38]

15 hours ago, Andrew Dwyer said:

There's nowt worse than family.
My gf is number 9 of 10 kids !
Number 10 is a monk and had a kidney transplant on Friday!
Everyone chipped in as they could afford to pay the hospital except sister number 5 who refused point blank although she is not poor.
As you can imagine there's a real sister war going on now.

NB: I offered but was told that it was not necessary !

The kidney?

[elgordo38]

15 hours ago, Peterw42 said:

I find it odd that they both saved up the sinsod as it usually only the guy, as payment for the girl. I have heard of lots of cases where the money is given back, but given to the daughter only, for future security, and the guy doesnt know.

Keeping secrets is not a way to start a marriage. 

[Andrew Dwyer]

The kidney?

Noooo, money !

[steven100]

4 hours ago, williamgeorgeallen said:

sin sod stories make good reading. most westerners are lucky that they dont have to pay a sinsod if their girls are single mums. i do know of one foreigner in pattaya who paid a million thb to marry a middle aged single mother of 2 but i guess he does not understand thainess. 

wow ... a million baht,  ...  did he get it back after the wedding  ?

[jeab1980]

2 hours ago, tonray said:

That's the downside of public forums, not everyone will like what they see.

Or what other people post to knock it in the direction said poster wants it to go in!. 

[williamgeorgeallen]

7 minutes ago, steven100 said:

wow ... a million baht,  ...  did he get it back after the wedding  ?

nope. i went past his restaurant in pratumnak and and it looks like he lost his investment there as well. thailand is a hard country for some people.

[chilli42]

My mother in law has a house and a car both fully paid for.  She then moved into a small guest house we have on our property temporarily 6 years ago.  She does not pay us rent, which is OK as we did nothing with the guest house.  She does rent out the house she ownes for a decent income level.  She also has two married daughters in Japan that send her money each month, money that should go to their kids.  My wife cut off all cash over ten years ago , she is a woman of great sense!  Finally, the woman is tight as a tick with her money ... never seen her buy a toy or a sweet for any of her three grand children that live on the same property.  My point here is that for many people no matter how much money they have it's just never enough.  I couldn't be bothered trying to figure out why they behave like this.  To me, it's a global phenomenon not unique to Thailand.

[steven100]

6 minutes ago, chilli42 said:

My mother in law has a house and a car both fully paid for.  She then moved into a small guest house we have on our property temporarily 6 years ago.  She does not pay us rent, which is OK as we did nothing with the guest house.  She does rent out the house she ownes for a decent income level.  She also has two married daughters in Japan that send her money each month, money that should go to their kids.  My wife cut off all cash over ten years ago , she is a woman of great sense!  Finally, the woman is tight as a tick with her money ... never seen her buy a toy or a sweet for any of her three grand children that live on the same property.  My point here is that for many people no matter how much money they have it's just never enough.  I couldn't be bothered trying to figure out why they behave like this.  To me, it's a global phenomenon not unique to Thailand.

it's called greed .....  and it's embossed in 99% of humans DNA.

[jeab1980]

11 minutes ago, chilli42 said:

My mother in law has a house and a car both fully paid for.  She then moved into a small guest house we have on our property temporarily 6 years ago.  She does not pay us rent, which is OK as we did nothing with the guest house.  She does rent out the house she ownes for a decent income level.  She also has two married daughters in Japan that send her money each month, money that should go to their kids.  My wife cut off all cash over ten years ago , she is a woman of great sense!  Finally, the woman is tight as a tick with her money ... never seen her buy a toy or a sweet for any of her three grand children that live on the same property.  My point here is that for many people no matter how much money they have it's just never enough.  I couldn't be bothered trying to figure out why they behave like this.  To me, it's a global phenomenon not unique to Thailand.

To counter story tbis one (soory for going off topic). My MIL lives in a small house we had built on our land which was given by her to us as a wedding present. She sold her house and land when her Husband died just over a year ago. Got a good price for house and land enough to see her living comfortably for tbe rest of her life. She was over tbe moon when we told her about the house plan but she insisted on paying for it (whole thing with materiel was just shy of 50k not much lots of people gave there time for free in tbe build. Nothing fancy a seperate bedroom and the rest open normal thai type house apart from we insisted she had an inside toilet and shower room so we made it onsuite. She has her own cooking area to the rear so very much self contained. She did and still does sell thai BBQ to keep her active and beacuse of tbat i have just finished building a little wooden structered shop come waitling area for her to prepare cook and sell it. Again she insisted she pay. She pays every month 500 bht to cover electric and water. She refuses any money offered to her from us saying she has enough. So not all as you described