Going Down: All the times farangs were forced into humiliating apologetic 'wais'

[owl sees all]

5 minutes ago, Damrongsak said:

But pay attention to the height and care of the Wai-back.  It will tell you a bit about that person and your standing.

When observing the Thais wai it is interesting to see how much the head bows. If the hands are clasped and the thumbs go up to the eyes then that is different to the thumbs only getting up under the chin and the head bowing so the person receiving the wai to can see the neck. For really big cheese the whole thing should be lower than the superior person's waist; unless the person is a midget of course,. In that case just throw yourself on the floor face down especially if the midget has a gun in hand.

[Damrongsak]

I'm sure I missed a whole bunch of subtleties, but I hobnobbed with farmers and plain people up-country. Besides, I was an ugly American kid, what can you expect?  555

[owl sees all]

To the westerners it is the sincerity behind the deed that is important. To the Thais is is the 'show'. A full-hearted wai to some authoritative figure, with a gun, who is about to relieve you of 200 baht is not as sincere as a raised glass wai in the local drinking den in respect of your drinking pals. if I have to wai to a person I don't respect i have my fingers crossed with my other hand behind my back. Or if I wai with both hands I clench my teeth. In my book these nullify the sincerity.

 

Where I am the wai takes into account the low cow factor. The wai here is almost like a raised glass 'cheers' back in England. I've tried to do a proper wai with a glass of low cow in the hand and it is difficult.

[dcnx]

10 hours ago, bannork said:

Where are you? 

Thailand.

[mauGR1]

9 minutes ago, owl sees all said:

 

 

Where I am the wai takes into account the low cow factor. The wai here is almost like a raised glass 'cheers' back in England. I've tried to do a proper wai with a glass of low cow in the hand and it is difficult.

I agree, and spilling the lao khao on someone's shirt would be a mistake, and would make the "wai' look frivolous.

oh, the complexities of Thai culture..

[ksamuiguy]

A meaningful Wai never hurt anyone.

When in doubt Wai!

[owl sees all]

59 minutes ago, mauGR1 said:

spilling the lao khao

Yes of course!! I was saying 'low cow' but 'lao khao' is probably correct. Looks better too!! 'Low cow', now I see it; reminds me of a little cow (as in calf). Thanks for the correction mauGRI.

 

Keeping on topic for this paragraph; the wai can be either a form of greeting as in 'Hiya Chaiapoomwattannaporn'. Or a kowtowing to a superior as in 'i beg you - don't shoot'. I think these westerners waiing are just a part of the big picture. And that is focus on the trivialities and the major, important Thai stuff slips by unnoticed.

Edited May 16, 2017 by owl sees all
spelling error

[LawrenceN]

17 hours ago, rocketman777 said:

My advice having lived hear many years is to  get into the habit to “wai”  as it works wonders in creating a good relationship with Thais.

 

Its also amusing to see  a Thai scramble to “wai”  you back as it caught them by surprise .

 

“wai”   whenever you meet a Thai especially an official ( ie police officer, immigration, Bank Teller etc)

 

Especially “wai”  if you inadvertently bump into a Thai, it will totally defuse the situation

 

It just sets the tone and yes they respect for you for observing Thai culture.

 

Remember the old adage : "When in Rome ......."

 

 

Is it possible you "caught them by surprise" because you wai'd someone much younger or lower in social status? There's more to it than a friendly wave. I have witnessed schoolgirls' nervous laughter when wai'd by a much older male tourist. Likewise, you shouldn't be wai'ing bank tellers first. They wai you as a sign of respect and gratitude to you, the customer. At least this is how it was explained to me in Peace Corps cultural training in 1977, and how I have practiced it for 40 years. I wai a lot less now that I'm 62 years old, because a nod will usually suffice. You're right, though, about government officials, etc. I always wai the Immigration official when she returns my passport, because she has done something for me. Time for me to express my thanks.

[The Deerhunter]

22 hours ago, Luckysilk said:

Saw a falang Wai someone on the BTS the other day for stepping on their foot - I almost broke a rib laughing.

And that was funny to you, exactly how?  Accidentally standing on someone's foot is actually embarrassing and in some places might earn you a "punch up the frote," or worse.   I (and just possibly you), in another country, might have muttered something like  "sorry Mate" before moving on to avoid the other person thinking you did it deliberately.  Here if you are "Poot Thai dai mai," or in a hurry, but do know how to wai, it makes good sense.  I have often done it after an accidental shoulder charge etc hurrying onto BTS or an MBK escalator.  It is accepted and usually acknowledged appropriately, with a smile instead of a frown, (or worse.)

[KenKadz]

I suspect a "wai" cuts the fine in half and/or no jail time.... It's all about the economics of the situation.

[roo860]

Is it possible you "caught them by surprise" because you wai'd someone much younger or lower in social status? There's more to it than a friendly wave. I have witnessed schoolgirls' nervous laughter when wai'd by a much older male tourist. Likewise, you shouldn't be wai'ing bank tellers first. They wai you as a sign of respect and gratitude to you, the customer. At least this is how it was explained to me in Peace Corps cultural training in 1977, and how I have practiced it for 40 years. I wai a lot less now that I'm 62 years old, because a nod will usually suffice. You're right, though, about government officials, etc. I always wai the Immigration official when she returns my passport, because she has done something for me. Time for me to express my thanks.

Correct, a nod is quite sufficient.

Sent from my SM-G920F using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app

[Harold the Great]

PROBABLY THAILAND IS THE WRONG PLACE TO IMPOSE ONES FOREIGN PRIDE AND MORAL STRUCTURE. MAYBE GOOD TO LEARN THE WAY OF THE FISH. BIG FISH EAT LITTLE FISH. LITTLE FISH CAN GET OUT OF NETS. WATCH OUT FOR THE FISH WITH BIG TEETH AND ALSO BE CAREFUL OF HOOKS WITH BAIT. SMART FISH SWIM CLEAR OF DANGEROUS WATERS.

[Luxius]

There are multiple ways to do the "wai". You can easily offend a conservative Thai, if you do the wrong one in a given situation. I was told many times, that it came natural to me. I later asked more into it, but am still uneasy about doing it. I guess I just have to keep doing my best.

 

Edit: This picture was taking in 2008, after I had been in Thailand for about ten days. I left Thailand again in 2010. When I showed that picture to Thais, they told me it was the correct way to do it. What do I know? =)

Edited May 16, 2017 by Luxius
Added a picture of me doing a "wai"

[roo860]

There are multiple ways to do the "wai". You can easily offend a conservative Thai, if you do the wrong one in a given situation. I was told many times, that it came natural to me. I later asked more into it, but am still uneasy about doing it. I guess I just have to keep doing my best.

Yes you are correct, not wanting to offend Thai people by giving the wrong wai, especially when one is wearing one's fisherman pants.

Sent from my SM-G920F using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app

[owl sees all]

2 hours ago, Harold the Great said:

PROBABLY THAILAND IS THE WRONG PLACE TO IMPOSE ONES FOREIGN PRIDE AND MORAL STRUCTURE. MAYBE GOOD TO LEARN THE WAY OF THE FISH. BIG FISH EAT LITTLE FISH. LITTLE FISH CAN GET OUT OF NETS. WATCH OUT FOR THE FISH WITH BIG TEETH AND ALSO BE CAREFUL OF HOOKS WITH BAIT. SMART FISH SWIM CLEAR OF DANGEROUS WATERS.

 

I am intrigued about the fishes. Are you saying that one day all the fish will escape the net and devour the fisherman? Very interesting!!

 

50 minutes ago, Luxius said:

There are multiple ways to do the "wai". You can easily offend a conservative Thai, if you do the wrong one in a given situation. I was told many times, that it came natural to me. I later asked more into it, but am still uneasy about doing it. I guess I just have to keep doing my best.

You are right about the wai being complicated. Where I am the locals wai and give a little nod of the head at the same time. If they have a glass of Lao khao in one hand they wai with just one hand and nod. Evidently it is considered to be, if not unfriendly, then lazy to wai with just one hand and not to nod. Sometimes they have a drink in one hand and a fag in the other. Then they just nod; if they are able!! 

 

I can't speak about the stoosh parts of Thailand - or up-market Phuket - as the nearest I came to a conservative Thai was at swampy a few years back on my way in. On TV I've seen the people on the floor and still doing wais. I reckon there are at least 10 different ways to wai. I usually get away with a very untidy, but sincere, wai and a nod. BUT I am always dressed well and do not as a rule wear cut down jeans or a ripped T shirt when I'm out and about.

[Damrongsak]

11 hours ago, LawrenceN said:

Is it possible you "caught them by surprise" because you wai'd someone much younger or lower in social status? There's more to it than a friendly wave. I have witnessed schoolgirls' nervous laughter when wai'd by a much older male tourist. Likewise, you shouldn't be wai'ing bank tellers first. They wai you as a sign of respect and gratitude to you, the customer. At least this is how it was explained to me in Peace Corps cultural training in 1977, and how I have practiced it for 40 years. I wai a lot less now that I'm 62 years old, because a nod will usually suffice. You're right, though, about government officials, etc. I always wai the Immigration official when she returns my passport, because she has done something for me. Time for me to express my thanks.

I got the same cultural training in 1977, along with language training.  In fact, there was a Larry N. in my class.  :)

 

- Dick

[Harold the Great]

On 5/16/2017 at 7:35 PM, owl sees all said:

 

 

good question. I think sooner or later water runs or gets dirty and the big fish wont swim out of their own swamp until its to late and the little fish will survive!

[Luxius]

On 5/16/2017 at 2:35 PM, owl sees all said:

You are right about the wai being complicated. Where I am the locals wai and give a little nod of the head at the same time. If they have a glass of Lao khao in one hand they wai with just one hand and nod. Evidently it is considered to be, if not unfriendly, then lazy to wai with just one hand and not to nod. Sometimes they have a drink in one hand and a fag in the other. Then they just nod; if they are able!! 

When one hand is occupied, it is acceptable to do the "wai" with one hand. At least it's preferable to holding something in between your hands.