The poisonous Brother in Law

[Rc2702]

Just seems very odd to me that such a large abundance of thai males are lazy good for nothing scroungers and there is to my knowledge not one shred of evidence to suggest anyone has tackled the issue and it's painful to think helping out the parents means you are supporting a deadbeat whose clinging onto the hope he will one day own his father's land and all will be ok... for a week or two.

 

Funds which for me I am effectively taking from my own families future to support a lazy POS and it's all well and good saying "don't give what you cannot walk away from etc" but being wasteful is just shameful and it's a bitter taste in ones mouth.

[oldhippy]

It is only recently that I realized what will happen with the money that I will leave to my wife when I die - a depressing thought.

 

Until 6 months ago we had a dream - son, clever, hard worker, always "taking care" of wife and me, never asked for anything - actually I lend him money on my initiative, got it all back.

Heart attack, 42 years old.

 

Result: my wife now clings on even more to her no good son (different father).

 

 

 

 

[Rc2702]

3 minutes ago, oldhippy said:

It is only recently that I realized what will happen with the money that I will leave to my wife when I die - a depressing thought.

 

Until 6 months ago we had a dream - son, clever, hard worker, always "taking care" of wife and me, never asked for anything - actually I lend him money on my initiative, got it all back.

Heart attack, 42 years old.

 

Result: my wife now clings on even more to her no good son (different father).

 

 

 

 

Sorry for your loss hippy. Sad situation.

[oldhippy]

2 minutes ago, Rc2702 said:

Sorry for your loss hippy. Sad situation.

thanks.

 

[Odysseus123]

25 minutes ago, Rc2702 said:

Just seems very odd to me that such a large abundance of thai males are lazy good for nothing scroungers and there is to my knowledge not one shred of evidence to suggest anyone has tackled the issue and it's painful to think helping out the parents means you are supporting a deadbeat whose clinging onto the hope he will one day own his father's land and all will be ok... for a week or two.

 

Funds which for me I am effectively taking from my own families future to support a lazy POS and it's all well and good saying "don't give what you cannot walk away from etc" but being wasteful is just shameful and it's a bitter taste in ones mouth.

I have decided that I cannot square the circle anymore.Even tho' I am returning to my homeland for medical reasons the writing was on the wall after the great karaoke debacle.What happened to the Dutch guy down the street simply confirmed for me that it was a never ending drain with no relief in sight.

 

I used to give ol' granny money but within 10 minutes her 50 year old son would turn up and grab the lot.If I give my wife cash then the idle stepson turns up looking like a whipped labrador sans any form of mental capacity whatsoever.

 

I used to say to the stepson.."Have you no shame-join the army!Surely someone can make a man out of you!"He would just slope off having bummed another 100 baht out of my wife.

 

Dunno how much I lost on his chicken farm venture.

 

One day I will laugh about it all...

[Been there done that]

5 hours ago, colinneil said:

Thai families !!!! bloody frustrating being married to a Thai lady.

Family think they are everything, you the farang are only there as an ATM.

My wife was told before we married i will take care of you, but not your family.

Now as most members know i am paraplegic, what help do we get from wifes family?

Absolutely sweet f.a. never help for even 1 minute.

A while back my wife asked her father to remove some branches etc, from the garden.

He answered how much the farang pay me, my answer the second word was off.

 

You better keep on paying then, otherwise your missus will leave you on your own.

[sipi]

My three brother in laws are terrific.

Oops sorry, you asked not to mention that.

[oldhippy]

3 minutes ago, Been there done that said:

You better keep on paying then, otherwise your missus will leave you on your own.

From his other posts, it seems that colinneil has found a diamond. They DO exist!

 

[Been there done that]

Its all about parenting. Blame the mothers for raising no good sons. Nobody though seems to get that on here.

[Been there done that]

1 minute ago, oldhippy said:

From his other posts, it seems that colinneil has found a diamond. They DO exist!

 

I hope for him, but I would not bet money on it. 

 

Useful !

[Rc2702]

It's a never ending battle with this muppet. But I will say her family have been more cautious to the fools ideas and a lot of consultations come my Mrs way to which she helps keep a lid on the wastefulness. I've even been thinking of getting ghosts involved somehow to scare the life out of him for being a lazy, anything to inject some life into this POS. It's painful as his son is 5 and he looks lost already.

[Andrew Dwyer]

My gf's brothers ( future brothers in law ?, maybe) all seem like a decent bunch ( all 7 of them !! ).

They all treat me like a brother.

 

But my ex brother in law is pretty much as you described yours. Oldest of 8 kids, treat like a baby by his parents and now the parents ( ex in laws) have departed is getting his comeuppance from the brothers and sisters who he mistreated over the years.

 

[colinneil]

13 minutes ago, Been there done that said:

You better keep on paying then, otherwise your missus will leave you on your own.

I do not give my outlaws 1 baht, and never will, spongers/thieves the lot of them.

[Rc2702]

15 minutes ago, Been there done that said:

Its all about parenting. Blame the mothers for raising no good sons. Nobody though seems to get that on here.

Finally you have contributed something as opposed to your attempted diminishing remarks although you have veered back in that same post above. At least you tried. Good work.

 

Anyway the lad has 3 younger sisters all of whom have full time employment and he has a mother and a father who are still together so not sure why blame should be directed solely at the mother but I do think they are both responsible but come on that's like the ultimate battle and not one even I could stomach. The POS is not a hard battle but it does need the right stroke to avoid the self destruct button. Hence I'm really hoping someone some where has tackled this and turned it on its head.

Edited July 2, 2017 by Rc2702

[Been there done that]

4 minutes ago, Rc2702 said:

Finally you have contributed something as opposed to your dimminis hong remarks although you have veered back in that same post above. At least you tried. Good work.

 

Anyway the lad has 3 younger sisters all of whom have full time employment and he has a mother and a father who are still together so not sure why blame should be directed solely at the mother but I do think they are both responsible but come on that's like the ultimate battle and not one even I could stomach. The POS is not a hard battle but it does need the right stroke to avoid the self destruct button. Hence I'm really hoping someone some where has tackled this and turned it on its head.

If you still do not know that it is primarily women who are involved in the raising of kids, especially 20 to 30 yrs ago, well, then you have some real catching up to do. 

 

You lot are all scratching the surface on here. 

[bannork]

7 minutes ago, Rc2702 said:

It's a never ending battle with this muppet. But I will say her family have been more cautious to the fools ideas and a lot of consultations come my Mrs way to which she helps keep a lid on the wastefulness. I've even been thinking of getting ghosts involved somehow to scare the life out of him for being a lazy, anything to inject some life into this POS. It's painful as his son is 5 and he looks lost already.

Your case is damn hard to solve RC2702 because it's so easy to picture him watching other villagers get ideas- mushroom growing, buy a tractor to  plough others' fields for hire, plant sugarcane etc etc that any idler can endlessly propose projects to his siblings and parents saying, ' If only you would lend me the start-up funds.....' and all the time he's got his eye on his parents' fields as well.

If he really set his mind to it he could go to Bangkok and make money as a motorbike taxi driver- a brother-in-law of mine (from Udon) worked in Bang Bua Tong for 3 years , getting up at 4.30 am to send the early commuters, coming back at 10.00 am for a break. Out again at 3.00 pm, working to 9.00 pm bringing the same commuters home. He didn't drink or smoke and in 3 years had enough money to go back to Udon and buy  a rice harvester/ come transport truck.

But it takes motivation and discipline. Has he got any relatives in Bangkok where he could stay whilst looking for work?

 

 

[Rc2702]

9 minutes ago, bannork said:

Your case is damn hard to solve RC2702 because it's so easy to picture him watching other villagers get ideas- mushroom growing, buy a tractor to  plough others' fields for hire, plant sugarcane etc etc that any idler can endlessly propose projects to his siblings and parents saying, ' If only you would lend me the start-up funds.....' and all the time he's got his eye on his parents' fields as well.

If he really set his mind to it he could go to Bangkok and make money as a motorbike taxi driver- a brother-in-law of mine (from Udon) worked in Bang Bua Tong for 3 years , getting up at 4.30 am to send the early commuters, coming back at 10.00 am for a break. Out again at 3.00 pm, working to 9.00 pm bringing the same commuters home. He didn't drink or smoke and in 3 years had enough money to go back to Udon and buy  a rice harvester/ come transport truck.

But it takes motivation and discipline. Has he got any relatives in Bangkok where he could stay whilst looking for work?

 

 

Thanks for that but this guys just aint got a scooby mate he's had 20 jobs and never lasted a week he's had 2 motorbike shops and he gave up the last one after 3 days.

 

He has been to bkk, Korat and got work all over the shop and just can't hack it.

 

I like his trying attitude but it's the same old 3 day or less story.

 

I rode up there today to drop some scran off to the family and this muppet is on his phone lying on his bed his dad's in the farm working away and his moms doing the housework and on leaving the house I ride past a farm with 4 little 5 year old beavering away planting crops with their family and her dad rides past that everyday so the guy must be in absolute turmoil over this manchild.

 

Hate to say it but some people just cannot accept they will never be there own man and they will always work for others.

[Rc2702]

21 minutes ago, Been there done that said:

If you still do not know that it is primarily women who are involved in the raising of kids, especially 20 to 30 yrs ago, well, then you have some real catching up to do. 

 

You lot are all scratching the surface on here. 

Ok but I'm not talking generally here I'm talking specifically and in this case the father has been on hand as much as the mother and whilst they do live in a fairly backward village where drugs and killing dogs seems rife I have to commend the work ethic instilled in the females and the fact that none drink smoke or gamble. (Drink when pushed by me only on special occassions) so your general overview of the mothers role is not warranted on this matter.

[thaiguzzi]

The OP's post sounds just like an uncle of the missus i know, 'bout the same age too. Complete waste of space.

[cyberfarang]

The Poisonous Brother-in-Law.

 

Could be a great title for a novel.

 

 

[AGareth2]

has he tried being a barber?

[Been there done that]

51 minutes ago, Rc2702 said:

Ok but I'm not talking generally here I'm talking specifically and in this case the father has been on hand as much as the mother and whilst they do live in a fairly backward village where drugs and killing dogs seems rife I have to commend the work ethic instilled in the females and the fact that none drink smoke or gamble. (Drink when pushed by me only on special occassions) so your general overview of the mothers role is not warranted on this matter.

As I wrote, you are scratching the surface. Read back what you wrote. Then be surprised about bil 

[Rc2702]

10 minutes ago, Been there done that said:

As I wrote, you are scratching the surface. Read back what you wrote. Then be surprised about bil 

Listen your drip feed commentary is telling and I recall you are the same troll that said

 

"I have a feeling you are the type to stand by and do nothing"

 

pretty silly thing to say given I have made the effort to post a pretty detailed overview of my own personal arrival at this tricky junction and have already pulled back on helping and visiting the family too much as I want them to see a noticeable difference in our habits and ask; why?

 

I have explained to you the father is actively involved in the man child's upbringing and you continue with your little cra ppy quips implying you know more than everyone else (surface scratching) I heard that barstool phrase on my 1st holiday 8 years ago and your punting it on a forum of expats.

 

Seriously you need to change your records your sounding strangely generic without a hint of an example or personal experience to back up your crap py 2 sentence replies which more often than not contain some form of diminishment.  You seem like a bit of a half arsed type who does the bare minimum, you should join twitter.

 

[Been there done that]

54 minutes ago, Rc2702 said:

Listen your drip feed commentary is telling and I recall you are the same troll that said

 

"I have a feeling you are the type to stand by and do nothing"

 

pretty silly thing to say given I have made the effort to post a pretty detailed overview of my own personal arrival at this tricky junction and have already pulled back on helping and visiting the family too much as I want them to see a noticeable difference in our habits and ask; why?

 

I have explained to you the father is actively involved in the man child's upbringing and you continue with your little cra ppy quips implying you know more than everyone else (surface scratching) I heard that barstool phrase on my 1st holiday 8 years ago and your punting it on a forum of expats.

 

Seriously you need to change your records your sounding strangely generic without a hint of an example or personal experience to back up your crap py 2 sentence replies which more often than not contain some form of diminishment.  You seem like a bit of a half arsed type who does the bare minimum, you should join twitter.

 

Introspection, awareness and thinking out of the box abilities, one has, or acquired it, or not. You do not. Good luck  in that lowlife village, as you wrote it is. Do not be surprised anymore, surfacescratcher.

[bannork]

RC2702.- just put negative posters on ignore- don't waste your time trying to debate with them.

[Rc2702]

8 minutes ago, Been there done that said:

Introspection, awareness and thinking out of the box abilities, one has, or acquired it, or not. You do not. Good luck  in that lowlife village, as you wrote it is. Do not be surprised anymore, surfacescratcher.

Your out of the box version of events overlooked the fact that we visit them we do not live in the village in question but thanks you at least tried but sadly again, failed.

[Been there done that]

1 hour ago, bannork said:

RC2702.- just put negative posters on ignore- don't waste your time trying to debate with them.

I see that you are a person who does not appreciate an exchange of ideas. Especially, I guess, when the ideas are opposite of your own. Narcissistic trait ! You fit in quite well in overhere, most likely you adapted the banork, uneducated, and lacking empathy, mindset. 

[Been there done that]

1 hour ago, Rc2702 said:

Your out of the box version of events overlooked the fact that we visit them we do not live in the village in question but thanks you at least tried but sadly again, failed.

Well, you are still not one step closer in solving the problem 

Time to get stoned for you. Ignoring reality. 

Edited July 2, 2017 by Been there done that
Incomplete post

[dbrenn]

Family comes first, husband comes second. Nothing the OP can do.

[williamgeorgeallen]

the true idiots are the western men who funnel money at families who then hand it out to create a dead beat welfare state within that family.