Is She In A Spot Of Bother ? Help !

[Shrek]

ok my thai wife and I are happily married and have been in England with her two small thai kids for 2 years now. She recently befriended a thai girl in her early 30's who has been in the uk for about 3 and a half years from what I can work out. She was engaged to a well-off guy in his 50's but had a fling with a 23 year old guy and got found out.

So now she finds herself living in a rented terrace with a 23 year old smackhead who beats her every night and she's 4 months pregnant! Wait it gets better

Turns out charlie boy ripped up her passport AND she has overstayed her Visa BY TWO YEARS!

ok its not my problem but I cant help being concerned and I dont know what to tell her. I suspect British Immigration would send her home and ask her to reapply and she'd have no chance ?

PLEASE dont send the usual 50 replies telling her how stupid she's been. She knows.

Any advice on the visa front would be appreciated. I have told her the obvious...to get out of the house, but charlie boy has said he will telll immigration if she does. Stuck.

And if you read this Kevin it is me and BIBG you dont know the girl she found us using the "Find another Thai friend" radar that they all have.

Thnks Guys.

[Mahout Angrit]

PLEASE dont send the usual 50 replies telling her how stupid she's been. She knows.

Then this time I wont, give you the benefit of the doubt!

Any advice on the visa front would be appreciated.

If she replaced her Thai passport (Not that easy, Has she still got her Thai ID card?) and left the country then she'd probably get away with it. As far as I'm aware still no checks are made when people leave Heath Row by immigration, nobody checks (well I've never seen anybody do it anyway). I know people who have left as overstayers with no questions.

She will then of course be back in Thailand and has to use her ingenuity as to how she applies to return to UK if thats what she wants. I wouldn't think she has a chance of getting back as she presumably came on a fiancee Visa (as she was engaged) and must not have ever changed it, that would have only been valid for 6 months. She must have overstayed by 3 years at least.

Being back in Thailand must surely be better than being beaten every day with no hope for the future. She will remain an illegal for ever if she doesn't sort it. she cannot sort the Visa problem in country.

She really has no option as she is not entitled to benefits and cannot work and has a child on the way.

Persuade her to go back and sort it then we all are rid of the problem and her stupidity.

Charlie boy could be prosecuted too for harbouring an illegal if he makes life difficult.

Edited December 13, 2006 by Mahout Angrit

[chuchok]

Persuade her to go back and sort it then we all are rid of the problem and her stupidity.

Was that really called for?I feel sorry for wallys like you that just can't help poking the <deleted>.

maybe you are perfect and live in your own perfect world.......

[Crossy]

Actually I wonder if she would be best turning herself in to the Social Services. They will know what to do, will sort out getting her out of harms way and then, maybe, just maybe they will assist her in staying in the UK or at least returning to Thailand.

I suspect it will involve the police and lots of questions, but at least she will be fed and looked after.

[Shrek]

Actually I wonder if she would be best turning herself in to the Social Services. They will know what to do, will sort out getting her out of harms way and then, maybe, just maybe they will assist her in staying in the UK or at least returning to Thailand.

I suspect it will involve the police and lots of questions, but at least she will be fed and looked after.

Sorry I didnt make it clear, she was hoping somehow to stay in the uk. (Dunno why...I spend every day gazing out of the window at grey northern english skies, traffic jams, fuel prices, etc etc wishing I was laid in a hammock in the thai sunshine!)

[GU22]

Sorry I didnt make it clear, she was hoping somehow to stay in the uk.

The only chance she would have of remaining in the UK is if she had married her fiance, converted her fiance visa to FLR and then into ILR. Even then, given the timescales, the Home Office may well take the view that she entered into the marriage purely to obtain UK residency and so revoke her ILR.

Her main concern must be for her safety and that of her unborn child. She should immediately get out of the house and away from this man. Is there anyone who would/could take her in? She should then contact either social services or the police.

Better to be living in Thailand than dead in the UK.

[The Dan Sai Kid]

I remember hearing about one Thai lady who was enduring a terrible time in the UK - you wonder how terrible village life in LOS is before they put up with terrible situations.

[rio666uk]

where in the UK are you Shrek?

think you should heed the advice from GU22 before she ends up hurt with this fking loser

[paully]

Any advice on the visa front would be appreciated. I have told her the obvious...to get out of the house, but charlie boy has said he will telll immigration if she does. Stuck.

'Telling immigration' isn't much of a threat. From what you wrote, she has no grounds to remain in the UK and no chance of a successful application whilst still inside the country (she's an overstayer). She'll have to leave and return to Thailand, so she might as well report to immigration. Getting away from smackhead charlie boy would be a bonus, one would have thought.

[mrbojangles]

Out of curiosity. What situation would she be in, if the child is born in England? Could she apply to stay as a parent of a UK national?

[GU22]

Being born in the UK doesn't, I believe, automatically make one British. As she is not a British citizen nor legally resident in the UK, a lot would depend, I think, on the nationality/residence status of the father.

However, it is a valid point and something she should seek expert advice on.

[mrbojangles]

a lot would depend, I think, on the nationality/residence status of the father.

Yeah, sorry GU22, i was presuming that the father of the unborn child, was the smackhead and also a brit. Shrek, can you confirm either way.

[Shrek]

where in the UK are you Shrek?

think you should heed the advice from GU22 before she ends up hurt with this fking loser

south yorkshire

[sibeymai]

She should definitely leave the "smackhead" for her own wellbeing and that of her unborn child. Already being blackmailed how long will it be until she is forced into sex to fund the drug habit of her blackmailer, if not already. Surely life in LOS couldn't be that bad. Maybe she's been spinning a story to her relatives back here that everything is fine and it would be too much loss of face to come back. Better loss of face than loss of life. This woman needs help from a samaritan for sure.

[Shrek]

a lot would depend, I think, on the nationality/residence status of the father.

Yeah, sorry GU22, i was presuming that the father of the unborn child, was the smackhead and also a brit. Shrek, can you confirm either way.

yes he is english and is the father of the child and you would think, seeing it thru english eyes that she would be far better off with family in thailand but that obviously isnt her perspective

[Boo]

I say it too much but the CAB (citizens advice) really are the best first point of contact & can be called in confidence. Or else get her in contact with a womens shelter who may also be able to represent her to social services/home office. BUT, she can only start by helping herself & leaving the smackhead is the first step. If she isn't willing to do this then you might as well walk away now.

[samran]

I'd call the embassy for help and the nearest Thai temple.

Actually, the nearest St Vinnies or charity who can deal with this kind of thing. Their motivation would be to genuinely help, and only that.

[the scouser]

She will remain an illegal for ever if she doesn't sort it.

After 14 years of a mixture of lawful and unlawful presence in the UK, she would be allowed to stay, but she still has a minimum of 10 years to go and doesn't, obviously, want to carry on getting a hiding every night. Likewise, on the assumption that her child spends 7 years in the UK, both child and mother will be permitted to remain.

On the basis of the facts as presented here, she will not immediately qualify for leave to remain in any other capacity. A women's refuge/social services/the police will all assist, but also, either directly or indirectly, may inform the Home Office/Immigration Service.

As the woman is not married to the father of her child, the child will only be British if he acknowledges it as being his, either by being named on the birth certificate, or through a DNA test. Failing that, the child will be solely Thai and subject to immigration control.

Has the lady ever been registered with the NHS? If not, technically she would not be entitled to free medical treatment and if the hospital finds this out, they, too, may inform immigration (and try to make her pay).

Ultimately, she either has to bite the bullet and go to immigration, or stick it out until her child is 7. If she goes to immigration, it will be, I would say, at least a year before they get round to turfing her out.

Scouse.

[Eff1n2ret]

She should go to the police. Most forces have a Domestic Violence Unit, whose priority will be to get her into a refuge, then take action against the smackhead, who may well be known to them anyway. The police would probably contact the local immigration office to check her status, but as Scouse suggests, she'd be unlikely to be bundled straight on to a plane. Logic suggests the unlikelihood of the Magistrates issuing a warrant for Immigration Officers to go and kick the door in of a Women's Refuge, so anything that happens to her would require a degree of cooperation on her part.

Domestic Violence is a very serious crime, and she should get herself protection as soon as possible

[Mahout Angrit]

She should go to the police.

It's worth bearing in mind that we only know HER side of the story at the moment, she wont be the first girl to accuse her husband/boyfriend of violence to try to seek new pastures or sympathy.

Sure we have to take this story on face value at present but she does have a history herself and how has she been feeding herself without working for the last 3 years.

The OP may find if he tries to help her visit sancturys or CAB then she may well decline.

Being suspicious and having tried to help similar situations on more than one occasion I suspect there may be more to this story. I hope not and I hope she gets help but if it's all true then Thailand is the better deal and its not cut and dry that she wont be able to return but as said she will have to use her initiative.

[chuchok]

I say it too much but the CAB (citizens advice) really are the best first point of contact & can be called in confidence. Or else get her in contact with a womens shelter who may also be able to represent her to social services/home office. BUT, she can only start by helping herself & leaving the smackhead is the first step. If she isn't willing to do this then you might as well walk away now.

The problem with this Boo,is that many women in circumstances like this won't walk away.Even if somebody is beating the <deleted> out of them.I could never understand it myself.I know a well educated bird that this happened too.

She had a top job,smart and double the size of her husband.(weedy little runt,BTW)If you ever picked a lass that this would NOT happen to,it was her.

She told me her story,and I almost could not believe it.She was <deleted> scared,thought that he would stop,thought that "this was not happening to me" and the old "he still loves me crap" etc.

She stayed for six months,untill he gave her the father of all hidings.Her brother happened to call around the next day and saw the bruises etc.He gave the husband a couple of big biffs and moved her out.

[Shrek]

Thank you everyone for the helpful and positive advice.

Seems she has a couple of options to try and get help, but one of the above hit the nail on the head, that she has to want to leave, and she keeps going back..god only knows why.

I will sit her down and explain the options and she must decide, not me. The issue of what happens at hospital had occurred to me.

At least it seems she wont be bundled onto the next plane.

Thanks a lot really.

A mate at work asked me today, if she was a Pakistani man who had overstayed how would I feel......not easy.

I will try and point her in the right direction. She's back home tonight having slept on our sofa last night and he has gone out at 6pm "I'll be back in one hour".....4 hours later no sign. I await the phone call.

I'll keep you posted.

[Artfullmover]

Who is this girl anyway? She goes to england with an older man and is in a relationship with plans to marry, plays around and gets turfed. She sounds like she's ... promiscuous .... to me. No time for them myself but I dont believe she should be beaten every night unless they are playing monopoly, Not that I believe thats the truth it a bit overbord isnt it. I'm not all that sure I'd want my wife to hang out with her.

Dont Know all that much about England but im sure if she shot off to Wales for the weekend she would kill the pig. After all Ive heard the blokes there dont mind payin 100 quid for a lap dance. This is of course if she dont mind doing a bit the horizontal dance.

If she a decent sort I believe she probally would have returned home long ago and not go tied up with a low life Junkie and his mates.

Edited by Scouse - demeaning term removed.

[lostvan]

I do agree in sorts with the poster above. Her character is obviously questionable since she has moved over with a guy far older, then somehow got involved with a low-life junkie.

However, no-one deserves to be beaten on a regular basis, and she is obviously a vulnerable person who needs help. OP, I would use your knowledge of the country and system to get her some help. I think the authorities of some sort need to be involved- I would start with the police. If I were you I would also offer for her to stay with you, at least in the short-term. Sooner or later she will need healthcare because of the baby, and everything will come out, so she may as well do it now.

We are making one big assumption though, and that's that she wants to be helped- you calling the police yourself may not be a good idea. Perhaps you'll have to convince of the reasons to start some action now- the baby's health, her safety, the fact that her immigration status will be made aware to the authorities sooner rather than later anyway etc etc

Good luck

[Colonel_Mustard]

Personally, I'd let immigration know and hope they kick her out.

Might not be what she wants but is probably, in the long term, the best for her and her unborn child.

[The Dan Sai Kid]

I can't see social services in the UK deporting her - pregnant women in the UK have so many rights.

[Colonel_Mustard]

I can't see social services in the UK deporting her - pregnant women in the UK have so many rights.

I would have thought that immigration would kick her out. Best for her and the UK.