Zyxel

A teacher is explaining biology to her 4th grade students. "Human beings are the only animals that stutter,' she says. A little girl raises her hand. "I had a kitty-cat that stuttered" she said. The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could become, asked the girl to describe the incident. "Well," she began, "I was in the back yard with my kitty and the Rottweiler that lives next door jumped over the fence into our yard!." "That must've been scary," said the teacher. "It sure was" said the little girl. "My kitty raised her back, went Ffffff!, Ffffff!, Ffffff!, but before she could say 'F..k-off' the Rottweiler ate her!"

Two statues, a male and female, stood in Central Park for 50 yrs. One day a fairy came along and granted them 24 hrs to be human. POOF!! Off the dashed into the bushes!!! There’s a lot of brush shacking and grunting and huffing!!! Six hours later the male comes out, ”Phew, I’m getting tired!” The female says, “Hey, we’ve only got 18 hrs, get back in here and handle business!” So, off he goes again and there’s bushes shaking, dirt flying, huffing, puffing and screaming going on. 12 hrs later, the male comes crawling out, grabbing dirt and can no longer stand! “I, just can’t go anymore, you’re killing me!” The female says, “Look, be a man! We’ve only 6 hrs left and we’re back on that perch forever!” The male, looks up at the perch looks back at the female, wipes his brow, looks up again, and back. Then he says, “Alright, but this time, I’LL hold the pigeons and YOU sh-t on them!”

One day, the US military decided to take a poll to see how the different branches handle a specific situation, in this case a scorpion in a service member's tent. One representative from each major branch is selected, and each answers privately. The question was a simple one: "There is a scorpion in your tent. What do you do?" Army: "I would crush it with my boot and throw it outside." Navy: "I would pick it up by the tail and throw it outside." Marines: "I'd bite its head off before cooking and eating it." Air Force: "I'd call down to the front desk and ask why there's a tent in my hotel room."