Zyxel

A rabbi and a priest went for a walk in a national park, where they came upon a large lake. Suddenly the rabbi said: "Let's go for a swim. It’s so hot and the water looks really clear and refreshing!" "But we don't have swimsuits" the priest told him. "So what?" replied the rabbi, "Let's go into the water as God created us." The priest thought for a moment and then agreed with him. They took off their clothes, laid them on a piece of grass at the edge of the lake and went in for a dip. After ten minutes they left the lake and walked back towards the place where they had put the clothes. Suddenly the two noticed a large boy scout troop resting at the edge of the lake staring at them. Embarrassed, the priest tried to cover his privates with his hands. He then looked over to his side and noticed that the rabbi was covering his face with his hands. "What are you doing?!?" hissed the priest, "cover your privates!" "I don't know how it works in YOUR congregation." Said the Rabbi, "but my people recognize me by my face!"

Two gold fish in a tank. One turns to the other and says “How the f*** do we drive this thing”

I just saw a dwarf climbing down a prison wall. It was a little condescending.

A man suffered a serious heart attack while shopping in a store.The store clerk called 911 when she saw him collapse to the floor.The paramedics rushed the man to the nearest hospital where he had emergency open heart bypass surgery.He awakened from the surgery to find himself in the care of nuns at the Catholic Hospital.A nun was seated next to his bed holding a clipboard loaded with several forms, and a pen.She asked him how he was going to pay for his treatment. Do you have health insurance? she asked.He replied in a raspy voice, "No health insurance."The nun asked, "Do you have money in the bank?"He replied, "No money in the bank.""Do you have a relative who could help you with the payments?" asked the irritated nun.He said, "I only have a spinster sister and she is a nun."The nun became agitated and announced loudly, "Nuns are not spinsters! Nuns are married to God."The patient replied, "Perfect. Send the bill to my brother-in-law."