Zyxel

"I'm sorry," said the clerk in flower shop, "we don't have potted geraniums. Could you use African violets instead?" Replied the customer sadly, "No, it was geraniums my wife told me to water while she was gone."

Bob had applied for a job in a supermarket and was attending the interview. When the interviewer asked what experience he’d had, Bob said that he’d once worked in another supermarket. The interviewer asked why he had left. “I was sacked for playing with the bacon slicer,” Bob explained. The interviewer was puzzled: “Surely they didn’t consider that to be a serious offence?” “They must have,” replied Bob. “They sacked her too.”

The boss called an employee into his office. “Bob,” he said, “you have been with the company for a year. You started in the mail room, one week later you were promoted to a sales position, and one month after that you were promoted to district manager of the sales department. Just four short months later, you were promoted to vice president. Now it’s time for me to retire, and I want to make you the new president and CEO of the corporation. What do you say to that?” “Thanks,” said the employee. “Thanks?” the boss replied. “Is that all you can say?” “I guess not,” the employee said. “Thanks, Dad.”

The blind daters had really hit it off and, at the end of the evening as they were beginning to undress each other in his apartment, the fellow said, "Before we go any further, Charlene, tell me - do you have any special fetishes that I should take into account in bed?" "As a matter of fact," smiled the girl, "I do happen to have a foot fetish - but I suppose I'd settle for maybe seven or eight inches."

A Lawyer named 'Strange' died and his wife asked the grave builder to inscribe on his grave:- "Here lies Strange, an honest man, and a lawyer." The grave builder insisted that such an inscription would be confusing and people would tend to think that three men were buried under the grave. However he suggested an alternative: "Here lies a man who was both honest and a lawyer." That way, whenever anyone walked by the grave and read it, they would be certain to remark: "That's Strange !"

An Alabama pastor said to his congregation, “Someone in this congregation has spread a rumor that I belong to the KuKlux Klan. This is a horrible lie and one which a Christian community cannot tolerate. I am embarrassed and do not intend to accept this. Now, I want the party who said this to stand and ask forgiveness from God and this Christian family.” No one moved. The preacher continued, “Do you have the nerve to face me and admit this is a falsehood? Remember, you will be forgiven and in your heart you will feel glory. Now stand and confess your transgression.” Again, all was quiet. Then, slowly, a drop-dead gorgeous blonde with a body that would stop a runaway train rose from the third pew. Her head was bowed and her voice quivered as she spoke, “Reverend there has been a terrible misunderstanding. I never said you were a member of the KuKlux Klan. I simply told a couple of my friends that you were a wizard under the sheets.”

I was in the VIP lounge last week en route to Seattle. While in the lounge, I notice Bill Gates sitting on the chesterfield enjoying a cognac. I was meeting with a very important client who was also flying to Seattle with me but she was running a bit late. Being a forward type of guy, I approached Mr. Gates and introduced myself. I explained to him that I was conducting some very important business and how much I would appreciate it if he could throw a quick "hello Chris" at me when I was with my client. He agreed. Ten minutes later while I was conversing with my client, I felt a tap on my shoulder. It was Bill Gates. I turned around and looked up at him. He said, "Hi Chris, what's happening?" To which I replied, "F... off Gates, I'm in a meeting."