Zyxel

Our six-year-old handed us a note. His teacher had called my wife and I in for an emergency meeting. We asked our son if he had any idea why, and he said, "She didn't like a drawing I did." We went in the next day. His teacher pulled the drawing below out and said, "I asked him to draw his familv and he drew this. Would you mind explaining?" "Not at all." my wife said. "Family vacation. Snorkeling off the Bahamas.

An elderly couple, Mary and Declan, live in Cork. Declan always wanted a pair of authentic riding boots. So seeing some on sale one day, he buys them, wears them home, walking proudly. He walks into the house and says to his wife ‘Notice anything different about me?’ Mary looks him over, ‘Nope.’ Frustrated, Declan storms off into the bathroom, undresses, and walks back into the room completely naked except for the boots. Again, he asks, a little louder this time ‘Notice anything different NOW?’ Mary looks up and says, ‘Declan , what’s different? It’s hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday, and it’ll be hanging down again tomorrow.’ Furious, Declan yells, AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT’S HANGING DOWN, MARY? ‘Nope’ she replies. ‘IT’S HANGING DOWN BECAUSE IT’S LOOKING AT MY NEW BOOTS!!!!!’ Declan yells. To which Mary replies…”Shoulda bought a hat, Declan . Shoulda bought a hat.”

Guy walks into a bar, says to the bartender, “Give me 20 shots of your best, most expensive tequila.” The bartender lines them up and the guy goes down the line slamming one, then the next, then the next. The bartender says "Whoa, man. You wanna slow down a bit?" The guy says, "You'd be drinking them fast too if you had what I have." The bartender says, "That sounds tough man. What have you got?" The guy says, "35 cents."