Zyxel

Even with a thousand games, dolls, and crafts to choose from, a customer at the toy store still couldn’t find a thing for her grandson. “Maybe a video or something educational?” the salesman asked. “No, that’s not it,” she said. They wandered the aisles until something caught her eye: a laser gun with flashing lights and 15 different high-pitched sounds. “This is perfect,” she said, beaming. “My daughter-in-law will hate it.”

A man realized he needed to purchase a hearing aid, but didn't want to spend a lot of money. "How much do they cost?" he asked the salesman. "Anything from $2 to $2,000." "Can I see the $2 model?" said the customer. The salesman put the device around the man's neck, and said: "You just stick this button in your ear and run this little string down into your pocket." "How does it work?" asked the customer. "For $2, it doesn't work," said the salesman. "But when people see it on you, they'll talk louder."

Man Is at a job interview. The interviewer begins by asking the candidate, “what do you see as your biggest fault?” The candidate replies, “I believe my biggest fault by far is my honesty.” The interviewer responds, “ I don’t see honesty as a fault.” The candidate replies,” I really don’t give a f... what you think!”

This <deleted> looked at my beer belly last night and sarcastically said, "Is that Corona or Bud?" I said, "There's a tap underneath; taste it and find out."

A man is on trial for armed robbery. The jury comes back with the verdict. The foreman stands, clears his throat, and announces, “Not guilty.” The defendant leaps to his feet. “Awesome!” he shouts. “Does that mean I get to keep the money?”

LADIES OF THE NIGHT A mother, accompanied by her small daughter, was in New York City. The mother was trying to hail a cab, when her daughter noticed several wildly dressed women who were loitering on a nearby street corner. The mother finally hailed her cab and they both climbed in, at which point the daughter asks her mother, "Mommy, what are all those ladies waiting for by that corner?" The mother replies, "Those ladies are waiting for their husbands to come home from work." The cabbie, upon hearing this exchange, turns to the mother and says, "Ahhhhhhh, C'mon lady! Tell your daughter the truth. For crying out loud. They're 'sex workers'!" A brief period of silence follows, and the daughter then asks, "Mommy, do the ladies have any children?" The mother replies, "Of course, dear. Where do you think cabbies come from?"