kropotkin

There is a formula to it, not a lot of foriegners know it.

Basically;

Based on the parents income and daughters schooling.

They also assume the daughter is a virgin.

You pay a sinsod for a daughter once only in her lifetime.

If she has been to Uni then it will cost as the parenst will want teir money/investment back.

If she is from issan then they will want it for sure.

If this is correct, then there is no sinsod for a divorced woman or single mother?

And giving an education to a child is an investment,just like buying a machine?

I think that the sinsod question is a clash between the modern world and the past.

Eventually everybody will move into the modern world, and stop living in the past.

But right now thailand is in a transition..... and transitions are always difficult.

You believe i married into a low class family.

I did not.

And if i did, what is your point?

That sinsod is an upper class thing?

That only the poor are greedy?

Rich upper class does not equal educated.

And my comment about buying a wife was about buying a much younger wife, and i clearly stated that this is a different thing, a bussiness transaction, nothing to do with traditional sinsod.

I will inform my 13 year old cousin about all this.

Surely he is in the target group.

But do not worry, he will grow up eventually.

Biggest accomplishment in life would be to never grow up.

He's doing well so far.

I agree 100% with "biggest accomplishment etc"

But i have a suspicion that you and i mean different things with that expression.

I don't buy the 'outdated tradition' argument, you may as well say we should stop giving gifts to each other at Christmas and stop eating chocolate eggs at Easter.

I think you give excellent examples.

Of course, we can keep giving Xmas gifts - hehe but atheists would prefer feast of light gifts.

Of course we can eat chocolate eggs at Easter - i am belgian, i appreciate real chocolate any time.

But, to believe that Rudolf the red nosed reindeir brings the Xmas gifts?

That the bells from Rome / the easter bunny bring the chocolate eggs?

I never said that traditions should disappear.

But traditions should evolve.

In europe it is a tradition to heat houses.

Would you want to achieve that through keeping cows and pigs on the ground floor (like before), or electric heating?

A symbolic sinsod, as a sign of gratitude towards the parents of BOTH partners? Sure, no problem, nice tradition.

I will inform my 13 year old cousin about all this.

Surely he is in the target group.

But do not worry, he will grow up eventually.

Bad news, men never outgrow a fondness for hooters. At least I hope I don't.

That is exactly what my 13 years old cousin would say.

^^It's not a case of going native or not. Comes across as rather condescending that just because there's something you don't agree with then the other people need " educating" as it were.

From my experience - but that is only me, based on talks with educated thai - sinsod is on the way back.

Because thailand moves forward.

But not everybody moves at the same speed.

That is not an exclusively thai thing.

I can remember how in the sixties europe moved forward, while many old&powefull dragged behind.

Nothing new under the sun.

Unsettling yes, but try to cope with modern times!

In the majority of cases that i have heard of involving Farangs the sin sod is such a small amount of money that it would not even cover a simple wedding reception in most western countries.

Quite frankly for a couple of hundred thousand baht the majority of westerners are not being principled but just showing how kee niow they really are.

Do you mean to suggest that you are NOT here because thailand is cheap?

I am here because thailand is cheap.

99% of europeans are here because thailand is cheap.

That is why we do not want to pay europeanish prices for anything.

I will inform my 13 year old cousin about all this.

Surely he is in the target group.

But do not worry, he will grow up eventually.

YES sin sot IS a thai tradition.

BUT it is an outdated, backward tradition.

CHOOSE: educate uneducated people, or let uneducated people dis-educate you.

what more can be said about the subject?

I'm sure practically the entire nation of Thailand will be thrilled to hear that they're uneducated.

Not my problem.

I repeat: sinsod is an outdated backward tradition.

If you want to go native, no problem.

I will defenitely not.

I believe in multi culturalism, not in surrendering.

In other cultures I accept some things and reject other things.

I am very critical of my own european culture - therefore i have the right to be critical of other cultures too.

The way that the first entry is written leaves me to believe that the poster is not in a meaningful relationship at the moment, and I respect his stance. But I have to wonder how adamant he'd be if the right girl came along and tugged his heartstrings the right way while also getting the little (lower) head to start doing more of the thinking. It's easy to be cold and completely rational when there's no emotional involvement, but we've all seen rock-solid souls turn to blubber when the right little lady enters the scene.

Anyway, I'm with many of the old fashioned types on this forum who don't like or agree with sin sot, so I wish the original poster all the best and would be curious to hear how well he sticks to his guns when (or if) the love of his life comes along.

We should all man up, and stick to our guns.....

I did, and i am happily married now.

Father asked for 5.000 euro sinsod - yes, correct, euro.

I said i can not do that, it is against my culture. But i solemly promise that i will be a responsibull husband.

It is not unlike taking a taxi..... many will try to take advantage of you, but stand your ground, and they will respect you.

The fact that Thai men and Farang women generally don't find each other physically attractive is probably the biggest reason why they are not so many of those relationships.

Farang men and Thai women DO find each other physically attractive and that is why there are so many of those relationships.

Probably a lot of truth in that - but the question then is: Why?

Other examples:

European men are attracted to polynesian women, european women are not attracted to polynesian men.

European women are attracted to turkish men, european men are not attracted to turkish women.

Generalizing, i know, but i saw what i saw!

Why? Any thoughts?

As I said, fact, opinion, bias and prejudice ....

And total B.S. !!!!

And total B.S. !!!!! ???????

This is a forum, not a bar.

But of course, that is only my humble opinion.

Maybe you should tell her that rice doesnt grow on trees?

Failing that, do what I do, I make the rice.

Well they know money doesnt grow on trees and look what difference that makes

What????

Surely, in Farangland money grows on trees.

And there are geese & donkeys too.

NO, i am only joking.

Money comes from ATM's of course.

Much easier to buy a magic amulet.

With the added advantage that you can dump it in a rubbish bin, once the magic has worn off / or you joined a different sect.

It is because of culture. As the commercial shows, one cannot run out of food. The food is left out to graze upon. It is both for the household and anyone who visits. If you are worried about wasting food, buy more dogs.

True.

But it upsets me to feed good food to dogs.

And never a thank you 555.

And hey, how about this one for cultural misunderstandings:

In europe, you can buy very cheap leftovers from the meat industry, as dog food.

So i told my wife to buy bones at the local market, to give to the dogs.

25 baht a kilo!!!!! while the best porc goes at only 105 baht!!!!!

Wife explained: bones are expensive, because they are used for preparing bouillion for noodle soup.

It is so simple.

YES sin sot IS a thai tradition.

BUT it is an outdated, backward tradition.

CHOOSE: educate uneducated people, or let uneducated people dis-educate you.

what more can be said about the subject?

Oops - one more thing CAN be said.

Buying a much younger wife is a completely different story - pay the price, that is only fair, and it is a seller's market.

It's all about cash. If there is a never ending flow of cash then being frugal goes out the window. Think you might be the problem here. If one has to watch the pennies then GREAT care will be taken by your crew and waste not.

I get your point.

In most cases you are probably right.

At least, if TV is a reliable source for information on thai - european marriages.

However.

I have NEVER given money to the family.

And I refused to pay sinsot - saying it was against my culture.

The marriage party cost me only 20.000 - now that was a bargain, or not?

My thai family are great people - they have given me more then i have given them so far.

While we are building a small house nearby, they let us use their old car, let us sleep and shower, help us with paperwork, etc.

And before you ask, the house will be too small to have others living in it! (12 X 4 meter)

The fact that father and oldest brother bankrupted my wife's business 20 years ago might have something to do with it........ FACE you know.

The fact that Thai men and Farang women generally don't find each other physically attractive is probably the biggest reason why they are not so many of those relationships.

Farang men and Thai women DO find each other physically attractive and that is why there are so many of those relationships.

Probably a lot of truth in that - but the question then is: Why?

Other examples:

European men are attracted to polynesian women, european women are not attracted to polynesian men.

European women are attracted to turkish men, european men are not attracted to turkish women.

Generalizing, i know, but i saw what i saw!

Why? Any thoughts?

Crossy,

That video reminds me of the old days in Norway.

Etiquette demanded that you left a little bit of food on your plate.

Inter - cultural?

I managed to talk my wife into buying very cheap broken rice for the dogs.

The result?

The dogs now get a double serving; people rice AND dog rice.

Can't win...

Maybe you should tell her that rice doesnt grow on trees?

Failing that, do what I do, I make the rice.

Yes, i once told her that i woud cook the rice.

Nearly ended in a divorce.

She lets me cook pasta, make pizza, bake bread, anything european, but i can not interfere with rice 555.

My thai family is not rich, not poor, maybe similar to the situation of my parents in the early sixties in Europe.

My parents would NEVER have wasted food, partly because of the cost, and partly because wasting food was just not done.

Here, food is waisted on a daily basis.

Is that just my thai family, or is that the norm?

555 Happy dogs they have.....

My family cooks several dishes every day, and leave them on the table.

And buy thai takeaways too, not so very cheap.

Yes they do have a fridge, but it seems that the food has to be ready on the table, just in case some visitor drops in.

My thai wife did the same until i told her this upsets me - now she tries to reduce the amount of food wasted.

But cooking rice for only 2 still seems to be impossibull for her......

Could the answer (at least partly) be very simple?

In Europe you will almost never see a taller woman having a relation with a shorter guy.

OK OK there are the Berlusconi's and Sarkozy's......

OK OK that says a lot about male ego.....

But it is a fact.

And perhaps (..?..) it is a fact in different cultures too.

Since Europeans are generally taller then Thai, that would strongly reduce the number of thai male - european female relationships.

In Europe you will seldom see a more educated woman with a lesser educated man.

While the other way around is not uncommon.

Remember who was Hemingway's gf....

If (...if...) the same applies to other cultures, we would have a second, simple explaination.

I am not judging, only stating common sociological theories.

And of course, there are many more factors and explainations.

I wonder if Germany regrets letting Greece into the EU.

You just won the award for "Best rethorical question of the day".

Submaniac, there are many everyday Thai women who get them. It is about superstition and beliefs, not about social status or being a prostitute. Don't listen to the other posters and their belittling comments. Although many bar girls have these tattoos, that doesn't mean that only bar girls get them, only that they need protection, usually from the men who hire them.

Yes, she can get it done. It is dependent on the monk, but almost all will do it. When she goes to the temple, talk to the monk, he will say yes or no. How it is done is all those waiting to have a tattoo done will assist the monk. While one person is being tattoo'd, two others will help hold the subject still while also spreading the skin tight to receive the ink better. When that person is done being tattoo'd, they are expected to help hold the next 2 people. In the case of your GF, the only difference is that one of the "helpers" holding her still will also place his arm/hand in a position for the monk to rest his hand while doing the tattoo. This way, the monk does not touch her, only the needle.

The cost is minimal, just the cost of donating to the temple. You purchase cigarettes and flowers and candles in front of the entrance and bring those into the tattooing chamber. A collection plate is passed around and the GF places the items on the plate. This is the offering to the temple, and is the sole cost of the tattoo.

You can specify the place on the body and also the design and size of the tattoo. Usually the monk will respect her wishes, but be prepared, he often tailors it somewhat to each individual, in terms of size and also the characters used in the tattoo. Each tattoo represents protection from something, which GF can specify.

As for the post about colorless tattoos, it is not "ink" that is used. It is coconut oil, and is called Sak Na Mun or Oil Tattoo. This raises the skin, but otherwise is colorless after the redness goes down in a couple of days.

The most famous tattoo temple is Wat Bang Phra in Nakhon Pathom, about 1 hour west of Bangkok. Very easy to find. There is a very famous tattoo festival there every year, coming up in February I believe. If she is doing it for the spirituality of it, then this is the most famous temple in Thailand for the actual protection that it is supposed to provide.

Protection? Spirituality? Buddhism?

We are talking about a tatoo!

If you like a tatoo, go for it.

But please, no wishy washy nonsense about protection or spirituality or buddhism.

Farang women have guts and self esteem.

That is why they scare away many farang men to sex destinations such as Thailand.

Just imagine a thai man being confronted with a liberated woman........