EirikJohannesen

Our bed is for my wife and me, we have a bed in the same room for our daughter for 1 1/5 years old.

We move her into own room when we feel that she is ready for it. around 3-4 years old then she's ready for the room.

I think there are many here who allow themselves to be controlled by there wifes. If there is something you do not like then you must of course tell the wife. I could never have been able to live under my wife like a dog.

Hubby and I are both Americans. Hubby's parents died shortly after he graduated from college, and he was an only child, so I guess he was an "orphan". I didn't realize it when I decided to marry him, but family values were important. It became apparent when my parents fell on hard times, partly due their own decisions, and Hubby was the first to suggest that we give them a "loan". I was the one that insisted on them signing a promisory note form so we could prove that they actually owed us money. Once they asked for the third loan, I got my brother involved and together we did the "tough love" stuff mentioned by the previous posters. My brother drove their fancy cars back to the out-of-town leasing agent, figuring that fulfilled his requirement to "help out", leaving me to buy a suitable used car for them.

Things improved for a while, but my Dad lost his new job after a few years and once again Hubby offered up money without anyone really asking.

He wasn't especially close to my parents, but did it out of a sense that "he had married into the family". I still continue to be pleasantly surprised by his actions and I wish my parents had realized they aren't the norm.

I think the guys who have a "tough love" and "everyone should take care of themselves" mentality, also had failed relationships in the west. They use the term "loner". I'd use the term "loser" because of what they've lost (or never known).

Loser okay! There are probably many who have lived a lonely and sad life in his own country before they have dared to move here. The only thing they knows is provide for themselves. These simple souls have rarely intercourse with girls, they are terrified that someone will come into their life.

It's a big shock for them when they come into a Thai family without learning a dam_n thing about Thailand and marries the first bar girl after a week.

I have lived half my life here and do not think I have spent more money on my family here than I would use at home. I feel also accepted in the village I live, but true enough, I will always be a farang.

Yes I have a little trouble understanding why it is so difficult to give some money to the family, and I mean NOT hundreds of thousands, but a few thousand in a while.

You've spent half your life here, in a village where you will always be the Farang, and you are calling others "loners"?

And you berate others for not looking after their inlaw families financially because you give "a few thousand (once) in a while" ?

I do not anticipate that I change the color with the first . They are so used to me that nobody cares if I'm Thai or farang. I'm not a loner, I have great social relations with both Thai and farang.

Money large are just an example. It's not so easy to say how much each has to spend. I spend approx. 10% of the months of income on the parent in-laws, Norwegian attractive income

When you come to Thailand, chances are high that you meet a poor girl, then I find it odd that you do not manage to take some responsibility,

Become familiar with the girl and her family before you get married can not be that difficult. So you do not have to be skinned for money.

Nothing wrong with either a poor girl or poor family.

However why should the farang take resposibility, are the family unable to take responsibilty for their own (in)actions?

I dont hear of my Thai friends paying vets bills for sick upcountry bovine, must be a phenomenon that only affects farang.

I help only in-laws father and mother, not brother and sister, etc.

Both work in rice fields and fish, they are not sitting in front of the house and polluting the site all day. I purchased a pickup truck to them so it's easier for them to work, I pay for the food here. They never ask me for money, I give it to them, When I ask if they need anything they say always no, we are doing well is the answer. They treat me with great respect and always ask if there is anything they can do for me.

I made it very clear to them before I got married that I do not accept monetary issues, but that I help with what they need and ensure that they have a good life.

This is my third wife in Thailand for 22 years and I have never experienced the types of families that are described here on TV, just heard about them. But I have met Thai vultures several times and can not say I have much to spare for them.

Thank you all for your help, I have made a booking and am going there in two weeks. Any must see places, good places to eat / drink in Phon Phisai?

No nothing. it is a Swedish bar there, otherwise it is a normal boring Isaan town.

Night Market along the river is ok. I am there during the day 2-3 times a month and rarely see farang there.

Not many members here hooked up with upper class Thai women, one might venture to guess?

Yes Richard…one might venture indeed, but keeping with the topic, 'family values' Are you so green in; 'the way of the Thai' do you honestly think that Hi-So families in Thailand will be any less out to drip dry you, (if that is there want) Just how do you think the majority of Hi-So's made, (and still do) make their money?????? Off the backs of, not so Hi-So Thais……..and any passing dumb farang.

I would sooner be with some 'tart with a heart than one of them Hi-So bints of a Thai soap opera.

Agree. My ex was a hi-so, never again. There were no problems with monetary nonsense, but the lifestyle and behavior sucks,

Thai soap opera at high-level

I believe in giving everyone a fair crack of the whip; family,friends, acquaintances even strangers, (I really am a big softy) a genuine request for help, I will not turn away. I did help my Thai ex-wife's family, more than once, and no, not one sick buffalo in sight! I was happy to help. The fact is, I was very lucky; my ex-wife's families were only guilty of being poor.

However, farang or Thai, rich or poor, extended family or not…They get one go with me, take the piss and they can sling there hook!

OP, families are a two way street, give a little…..takea bit. But if you see someone as some sort of wanke_r for not supporting, (unconditionally) a NEW Thai family, when all that family want to do is hang, the new SIL up by the gonads and 'drip dry him' …………………Well, I've got just the girl for you, I've been promised 20% of everything she gets from anyone I hook her up with…………..Interested? PS; I hear her families are very friendly.

When you come to Thailand, chances are high that you meet a poor girl, then I find it odd that you do not manage to take some responsibility,

Become familiar with the girl and her family before you get married can not be that difficult. So you do not have to be skinned for money.

Good post Lovelmosac. I am also a loner which is probably why i like LOS so much.

At least when you are alone in LOS there are no :jerk: 's to look down on you for being a loner, treating everyone that chooses to be alone a second class society dropout. Usually these :jerk: are the people who (deep down) are not really content in the constraints of their own lives but put labels on others to make their own existance seem better.

Essentially i would think there are quite a few of us in LOS, It seems a good place to live and be left alone, far away from the gaze of those who think their way of life is "IT" and everyone else should follow.

But actually i think the OP's point was leaning towards the question of why us westerners have so much trouble with giving away money wholesale to the Thai Inlaws.

It sounds to me like Erik is one of those people who has spent a fortune on his Thai family. Its nice that he talks about commitment to a family but he should realise that no matter what the farang does (in some cases) he will never truelly be accepted into the family that he calls family. Although I hope his situation is one of the (probably) many exceptions.

After all, when members of the (real) Thai family become broke they will remain family, and as such, be sheltered and cared for.

If the Farang falls on hard times and cannot be the financier to all and sundry will the "family" understand and apply the same rules?

I have lived half my life here and do not think I have spent more money on my family here than I would use at home. I feel also accepted in the village I live, but true enough, I will always be a farang.

Yes I have a little trouble understanding why it is so difficult to give some money to the family, and I mean NOT hundreds of thousands, but a few thousand in a while.

The Topic should be "Loners and Family Values​​."

Where on the road to Thailand disappeared your family values​​? Or have you never had family values​​, a loner?

It seems that many here on TV have not received the upbringing in how to treat family members. I was raised to take care of my family, the core family is the most important thing you can have in your life. When I read all the posts about the farang who refuse to take care of the in-laws, so I wonder what kind of family relationship they come from. Have you never experienced a family relationship where you come from, you do not help each other in your family back home.

If my Mom had problems at home and my wife had refused to help, so I had separated myself from her.

So what is your philosophy of life when it`s not taking care of the family you marry into? And I 'feel that many saves money to a divorce, your just sitting and waiting for the big bang.

Keep your in-laws happy, so you get much better life with your wife.

Me to, and very slow.

The "Thai culture" that farangs supposedly don't understand has nothing to do with ancient curry recipes.

It's how to behave, dress, speak, carry oneself, and know one's place in the hierarchy.

To the contrary, Thai gastronomy is a very important part of Thai culture.

You do not insult the Thai people if you're a bad cook.

You can cook for immigration maybe you get PR

Getting back to the OP..... yes, I'm sure that most of us miss our home countries at some point.

Never mind how long we have been here we will always be seen as 'farang' by the locals, even if they like us!

I know Westerners that have lived here for over 20 years, and whilst they 'understand' the Thai way of thinking, still find it objectionable.... Which is why most Westerners that have been here for a few years seek out other Westerners.

Its sad but true.

By 'the locals', I'm assuming you have no Thai friends? And if not, why not?

'Oh, haha, by the way 'they' (sic) 'understand' the 'The Thai way of thinking' ... I'm calling ignorant, racist snob on this one.

I'm guessing that, and I may be wrong, that the only contact with 'the locals' you have are your cleaner and those serve/wait on you. I'm right, aren't I?

Whenever people bring up the Thai friend things I always smell a rat. They think they have a THai friend. Not what I would really call a friend. But this isn't a reflection on Thais being bad friends as such but more that I don't think Thais have Thai friends really. They have aquaintances they might do stuff with but when it comes to anything that I might expect from a friend then they would do that thing with their families. Thais' families are their friends. therefore I might not have any Thai friends *( like most foreigners I know who have been here x number of years ) but I do have many people in my Thai family who are my friends for doing friend stuff, if that makes sense.

And on a different note ( probably going to get slated here ) , this used to bother me, not having any Thai friends, but after x amount of years and x amount of experience in the country , I realised that I don't actually want any Thai friends. When it comes down to it I would much rather be watching football or going out to a bar with another westerner than a Thai. Just got more in common really. no big deal. No matter how long I've been here we do tend to things in different ways. Eating habits, drinking habits etc, what we enjoy doing.

Thai family for friends, much more reliable too.

what do you think ?

I have good Thai friends, but it's very easy for me because I speak Thai as well as my mother tongue. I agree that it is easier to have friends within the family. I find it hard to find good farang friends here, most is alcoholics and have a poor economy. I find often that farang will borrow money than Thai. But there is a taste issue how to choose friends. I have two good farang friends in the area, unfortunately, they live a distance from me.

It is not very difficult to get permanent residence in Thailand, if you examine some other places than bars .

It was really easy, I just submitted the required documentation, paid a fee and waited 3 months. Everything is easy if you have what they ask for.

The question is whether you have the ability to get it, you must meet the requirements and it can be different from person to person, what country you come from, etc.

They offered it to me after 3 years here, I did not ask for it, immigration authorities said I fulfilled the requirements.

How many PR's have been issued since the coup of 2006??, there have been reports of some recently I believe but no verification?.

Plus you cannot apply for PR if you are a retiree here, so pretty much a non starter for many of us.

Please stop harping on about how wonderful Norway is too!!, the only time I visited there in 1986 (NATO AMF Exercise) whisky was about 50 GBP a bottle, gawd knows what the cost of living is now.

์ื Norway has a fantastic nature and that's about the only thing that is wonderful with Norway.

Immigration policy has damaged Norway.

A Toyota Vigo costs 600K Baht in Thailand and 3.3 Million Baht in Norway.

1liter petrol 84 baht

1 kg chicken fillet 1500 baht

20 cigarettes 550 baht

Welfare system is good in Norway

Welcome to Norway if you are a millionaire. :jap:

They handed out 100 PR in 2010 so it is still possible to get it.

How come i paid 960,000 baht for my Vigo?

What you also fail to mention is how much more you earn in Norway to pay for those items. Therefore the comparison is largely irrelevent.

You have failed to read the post that led to this response, Income in Norway, read the post above.

Yes I should written 900K typing error, Could not access the "edit"

It is not very difficult to get permanent residence in Thailand, if you examine some other places than bars .

It was really easy, I just submitted the required documentation, paid a fee and waited 3 months. Everything is easy if you have what they ask for.

The question is whether you have the ability to get it, you must meet the requirements and it can be different from person to person, what country you come from, etc.

They offered it to me after 3 years here, I did not ask for it, immigration authorities said I fulfilled the requirements.

How many PR's have been issued since the coup of 2006??, there have been reports of some recently I believe but no verification?.

Plus you cannot apply for PR if you are a retiree here, so pretty much a non starter for many of us.

Please stop harping on about how wonderful Norway is too!!, the only time I visited there in 1986 (NATO AMF Exercise) whisky was about 50 GBP a bottle, gawd knows what the cost of living is now.

์ื Norway has a fantastic nature and that's about the only thing that is wonderful with Norway.

Immigration policy has damaged Norway.

A Toyota Vigo costs 600K Baht in Thailand and 3.3 Million Baht in Norway.

1liter petrol 84 baht

1 kg chicken fillet 1500 baht

20 cigarettes 550 baht

Welfare system is good in Norway

Welcome to Norway if you are a millionaire. :jap:

They handed out 100 PR in 2010 so it is still possible to get it.

Thailand developing countries, NOT.

Developing countries, is a term for countries that have not yet received an industrialization

All have electricity and clean water, all have access to schools, hospitals and food. Thailand has infrastructure that works to a certain extent. They have very good standard compared to what we call the Third World.

Some typical developing country is in Europe, Moldova, Ethiopia in Africa, Bolivia, South America, Honduras in Central America, Vanuatu in Oceania and Afghanistan in Asia.

It is not very difficult to get permanent residence in Thailand, if you examine some other places than bars .

Can you explain to us mere mortals, all the steps needed to get "permanent residence in Thailand" please?

Penkoprod

Camerata has a good thread on that. There is also more info on the host site for here as well as other threads about both PR and citizenship.

I'm well aware of that thread, having Googled for an answer.

I posted what i posted to allow EirikJohannesen the opportunity to show us what he considers "not very difficult"

It seems a long drawn out process, with many hoops to jump through, and pitfalls to overcome

Hardly what i would call......easy

Penkoprod

It was really easy, I just submitted the required documentation, paid a fee and waited 3 months. Everything is easy if you have what they ask for.

The question is whether you have the ability to get it, you must meet the requirements and it can be different from person to person, what country you come from, etc.

They offered it to me after 3 years here, I did not ask for it, immigration authorities said I fulfilled the requirements.

Maybe Thailand is fed up by Frang that will not integrate into society, farang who insist on living western lifestyles, refuses to learn the language, refuses to comply with visa regulations, etc.

Maybe it will be easier for us farang living here when we begin to correct us by the host's rules and culture.

Thailand has always had big problems with immigrants that cause the country great economic losses and crime.

If you want to make money here so you should have a work permit.

What utter RUBBISH - The foreigners here are NOT ALLOWED to integrate into Thai society!

What about all the foreigners here married with kids? the ones like myself that comply with visa regulations? Why should I have to have 400K in a Thai bank 2 months before I apply for my 1 year visa just to be with my family? What about a Thai man that marries a foreign woman? He doesn't have to do this? All most foreigners want is a bit of security to be able to plan a life here without having to worry about petty rules that will have you kicked out of the country every year! - WAKE UP! Not everyone here is wheeling and dealing trying to make millions, a lot of us just want to spend our lives with a bit more security than a 1 year extension of temporary stay in our passports

We live by the "hosts" rules - we have no choice!

Jesus - there are some weird ideas here I will give you that!

When you move to a new country, you should first and foremost, make sure you have the finances to get a visa, Period. 400k is not very much if you come from a western country. If you do not have a good economy, you should work more at home before you thought of starting a family here.

In my country (Norway), you must have an income of 1.5 million Bath to get a visa to a foreign wife.

You talk about weird ideas, come here to get married when you do not have the money for visa LOL

It is not very difficult to get permanent residence in Thailand, if you examine some other places than bars .

It's not very difficult to get permanaent residence MY ARSE!

I have been here almost 10 years - but every year I am never any further forward into being Integrated here.

Norway is one of the easiest countries for foreigners - this is why you now start to have the problems you are having. (and an income of 1.5 Million Baht not BATH is a pittance in Norway - homeless people probably get more than this in government handouts, while the rest of you are forking out 54% in basic taxes to support them!

I ask for nothing for free here, just the right to live - whay should it matter if I have 400K in the bank or 4K? If I don't have the money what am I going to do? go to social security like the people in your country can?

Tell me - once you have shown your 1,5 million Baht to bring in your wife to Norway - do you need to go to an immigration office every year and show you still have this money? Or will your wife end up with a European passport that entitles her to travel anywhere in the EU, be able to take a job anywhere in the EU (without a work permit) You are comparing apples with shit!

A lot of foreigners have seen a big upheavel in the past few years here - a lot of pensioners for a start.

Many foreigners living here were doing OK when the Baht was up around 70 Baht/GBP or 43/USD - they are on a fixed pension - and at the time I cam here diesel was 13 Baht a litre - now that their pensions remain the same - i.e . fixed - the Baht to GBP is at almost half - 48, or so and diesel and the cost of living has almost doubled...what do you suggest we do? Pi?? off back to where we came from? Dump our families? It must be a great gift to be able to see into the future, wish I had it!

But I took my chances when I did, there was no thought that things would turn out the way they have regarding the economy - no one can prepare for everything.

Yes, you must prove you have fixed income, yes you have to go to imigrasjonen each year for 4 years. Norway are not EU members as the visa is only valid in Norway. She must also seek permission for any work.

You do not know much about Norway, I see.

Yes it is common for homeless people get over 1mill baht. And it is is common to earn around 5 million baht per year with 40% tax.

Norway has a good reputation to take well to foreigners, Thailand knows it and I get good treatment from imigrasjonen here. After 3 years here I was offered a permanent residence permission because I could speak, read and write Thai, they offered it to me, I did not ask.

Yes, the currency has gone down and everything has become more expensive. If you had paid as much tax as we do in Norway so you could only smile and go on welfare office also hehehe Many advantages of high taxes, let me tell you. If all goes to hell here so I get flown home at government cost and receive a luxury apartment with everything.

Maybe Thailand is fed up by Frang that will not integrate into society, farang who insist on living western lifestyles, refuses to learn the language, refuses to comply with visa regulations, etc.

Maybe it will be easier for us farang living here when we begin to correct us by the host's rules and culture.

Thailand has always had big problems with immigrants that cause the country great economic losses and crime.

If you want to make money here so you should have a work permit.

What utter RUBBISH - The foreigners here are NOT ALLOWED to integrate into Thai society!

What about all the foreigners here married with kids? the ones like myself that comply with visa regulations? Why should I have to have 400K in a Thai bank 2 months before I apply for my 1 year visa just to be with my family? What about a Thai man that marries a foreign woman? He doesn't have to do this? All most foreigners want is a bit of security to be able to plan a life here without having to worry about petty rules that will have you kicked out of the country every year! - WAKE UP! Not everyone here is wheeling and dealing trying to make millions, a lot of us just want to spend our lives with a bit more security than a 1 year extension of temporary stay in our passports

We live by the "hosts" rules - we have no choice!

Jesus - there are some weird ideas here I will give you that!

When you move to a new country, you should first and foremost, make sure you have the finances to get a visa, Period. 400k is not very much if you come from a western country. If you do not have a good economy, you should work more at home before you thought of starting a family here.

In my country (Norway), you must have an income of 1.5 million Bath to get a visa to a foreign wife.

You talk about weird ideas, come here to get married when you do not have the money for visa LOL

It is not very difficult to get permanent residence in Thailand, if you examine some other places than bars .

It would not surprise me if it works behind glass, the GPS signal is fine through the glass. In Norway we have the plastic sheet over his head to avoid the snow lay on the head and disk. You can paint the disk in the same color as the wall so no one sees it.

live by the rules and you wont have a problem.. I feel warmly accepted by my ladies family and all of the village.. Life is good

probably more for them than you ???

Its great to have wealth that you can spread around, and help look after those that you care about.

What more could a man ask for?

SC

Edit: Shouldn't it be ladies' families?

I Like Thats Living

I came when I was 23 and I do not regret it one day. 22 wonderful years in a wonderful country.

My suggestion to you is don't let the door hit you in the ass on your way out.

The classical riposte of an aggrieved Thaiphile. Aggrieved by views which are different to his own.

On the contrary...people who are miserable in Thailand (yet who never seem to do the simple thing and up and leave) seem offended by people who make a successful and happy lives for themselves here -- accusing them of either lying or wearing "rose-colored spectacles".

I can't understand why there are any Thai negativists here at all...if I hated a place, I would find happier hunting grounds and simply not look back. And that includes posting on forums devoted to it.

Oh, right...there are "personal situations" which prevent these people from leaving. Righty-o.

Richard, i've spent some time on this thread this morning. i think its time you grew up. this is not a flame, rather a reaity check.

You've already been given some sound advice on here but you seem very blinkered.

Who are you who can decide who is right or wrong to have opinions on this forum?

Here I totally agree with Richard and I am sure there are many thousands of others who agree as well.

This type of rule technique you will not get far with.

Maybe Thailand is fed up by Frang that will not integrate into society, farang who insist on living western lifestyles, refuses to learn the language, refuses to comply with visa regulations, etc.

Maybe it will be easier for us farang living here when we begin to correct us by the host's rules and culture.

Thailand has always had big problems with immigrants that cause the country great economic losses and crime.

If you want to make money here so you should have a work permit.

Oh..... you mean brainwashed!!

Clearly a large group of farang who need a not so little brainwashing before they come to Thailand. Get the cave man out of them.

I don't care if you're happy or not.

I'd just really like a good answer as to why those who hate Thailand and appear miserable here just don't leave.

I mean, it's as if you hated McDonalds, but continued to eat every meal there -- and posted about how disgusting it was each and every time on the McDonalds fanciers website.

I don't get it. I really don't. I lived in China for a while. Hated it. Left. It was all so simple.

Can anyone explain this phenomenon? I'm 100% serious here.

All these negative, making the farang reputation even worse.

I also can not understand that they bothered to sit here miserable day in and day out.

You see these farang go around and complaining, yelling at all Thai people.

They come to Thailand and think they have an exemption card to behave like monkeys.