thehelmsman

A lot of mixed feelings about religion on here. So, did you have a Monk bless your car and do you have the markings on and around both visors? Doesn't matter whose name is on title.

Mine was blessed by the elders at home first then at the temple. Monk told us what was a good day to buy, same as with motorbikes. car is all tatted up around and on visors. Me, I'll take all the help I can get.

I hope for Thailand's sake they don't change their policy and become a dumping ground for anyone wanting to cross the border. Ask the USA what their situation is with illegals coming across the border. There you can swim over one day and the next you can buy anything you want if you have the cash. Many European countries are in big trouble with the millions of refugees.

The dress code is either black or white. Women tend to wear black, whilst the men tend to wear black trousers, white shirts.

Depending on the status and wealth of the family, the body will lie in a temple for 3- 5 days, with up to 3 services a day.

Wealthier families will usually put a full banquet on every evening.

Depending on how close you knew the bereaved, expect to put anywhere between 200 - 1000 Baht in an envelope.

Larger ceremonies will have a board where relatives and friends can write their names to sponsor the costs of the service and food for any particular day, which takes some of the financial burden off the widow(er)

Even the smaller 3 day ceremonies with maybe just one meal for the guests after the cremation, can cost 100,000 baht.

So wife's uncle died after a long time of being bedridden at home. 2 days tops till body was creamated. Straight from house to cremation with the usual long procession to the cremation site. A couple hours of Monks doing their duties, doused the wood with fluid and light it up. Their is no dress code here, In this case drinking went on for a few days afterwards because one of the sons has money and kept the drinking alive. Sure it's different in the cities but here in the deep country this is how it goes.

Everytime someone in Ampur dies money is collected from each household, they come to each house to collect, for us it's 20 baht each time. Not necessary to give for all villages.

Been doing the same 2-3 times a yr. for month stays and the occassional border run extensions for 8 yrs with a few non-o visa for DL, buying car & motorbike. Never been asked anything.

Step sons hate farang stand in dads that's probably why he did one so quick.

Well that's BS.I know plenty of stepsons that that treat the stepfather like there own and never want to see their father again.

I agree 100%! Many people speak that they understand then the next word out of their month indicates they clearly have no idea about loving or being a father to someone else kid. I was at a adoption hearing a number of years ago for a family member in Bangkok. The people at this Thai agency are some of the best English speaking individuals I have met ever in Thailand. In the hearing I still remember what the department head said to me in our conversation.

Her comments were she and her department is always happy to see Thai children adopted and remain in Thailand. Just because one can produce children does not mean they have a exclusive right to love them, if that was the case she wouldn't have a job. There are so many Thai children that have been abandon. As for the adoption by my family member the kids love him as their own father and the father love all his kids the same blood or no blood.

If the step dad is thai then OK

My lady's son was 6 when I came into picture, now 7 yrs later I don't expect him to have any feelings for me except some gratitude for providing well for him. He's a fantastic big brother to his baby sister so I have no complaints. I can see it being different with girls.

So, everyone gets up at 2 am I drive to night market, family and neighbors go off to buy food to feed the monks, about 2000 baht worth. 20 Km to back home, cooking gets started, everyone busy busy. I suggest next time we just buy a pack of M150 and some cookies. That gets me a smirk ahahaaa

OK so forward to following day MIL steps on some steel in garden requiring stitches and of course I have to ask what happened to her good luck. All the food given at the Wat and still this happens. Off to the small 7 for some red fanta so the budda house at house can be properly prepped along with the yellow flowers.

When the house was built fella comes out to fit the curtains. I leave this to the woman folk, right? So what color is choosen? Budda yellow of course.... ahahhahaa

It may be what people do here but I'm not from here I'm a foreigner.

Why should westerners be expected to bow down to local traditions such as this if they choose not to.

In my house it's my rules is that OK with the remaining TV members who have adapted to living like the natives.

I was raised to be independent and once old enough to fend for myself,ok that's not what happens here,I/we don't have to conform to it just because we live here.

Those who bow down to most of these stupid demands are pussy whipped and scared of the old lady.

Don't do as I do do as I say.

Who said you should bow down to local traditions? But equating them with 'stupid demands' shows you neither respect the culture nor its people.

You can choose to live as an 'independent' westerner and dismissive of Thai traditions, but your quality of life and interactions with Thais will likely suffer as a result.

Yes....and that is why the baby/child needs to sleep in the same bed/room as the parents........jeezzzz.

Btw...the arguments about ghosts/spirits....who tells that to the children ?

For many it seems that they are under control of their wife/gf......ahh well...better not any more arguments in the house...

Sleeping with baby starts out as an easy arrangement for breast feeding early on and rolls into an easy arrangement for bottle feeding. Easy way to make sure baby has enough covers in the cold, ours would always kick them off and later be cold if not for us to be there. She's only 3 and know for a fact she won't be sleeping in our room till 10 0r 12. for one thing she's too strong willed for that.

And as far as ghosts go, just by watching TV they get the idea. Even cartoons are weirdly filled with spirits.

A family member died not far away and of course there was drinking for days till all hours. An old wood house, so I go down to take a leak in the darkness and when I returned I went under the house and lightly began knocking under where the people were gathered. Days later they were still laughing at this. yes they were genuinely scared. The house was on a small dirtway and secluded, wives had to escorted home because they were afraid of the ghost, others had stories of being visited by the ghost at home.

Now the creepy part of this is a picture was taken of one of the sons during our drinking. In the picture you could clearly see a skeleton sort of hand resting on his shoulder.

Thank You,007, more reasonable and a Fair Wage for Issan

Thai workers in the rice fields , do not get any where near 300 bht a day,{ supposed to be the daily national rate.]

Teachers, start off on 8,000 bht a mounth .

Supply and demand , dictates the wages paid .

You said it yourself supply and demand. Now I'm assuming you have first hand knowledge of what wage a worker planting or harvesting rice earns. When the height of harvest season begins and farmers are worried about the wind wages go up if you want your rice cut first. I see 500 baht paid a day with 250 baht for 1/2 day. The days of 300 baht a day in out area are gone.

Ha!

I have actually never, ever, been to a bar in Thailand, even though I have been in Thailand for over two years.

I do not see the point, really, since it all looks quite boring to me, and one just sits there and listens to people basically talk nonsense, while they drink and become ever more illogical by the minute.

Of course, I have been to bars in other countries in East Asia, China, America, HK, and a few other places, but I just have had no urge to walk into a bar in Chiang Mai, or any other Thailand city.

I must admit that it might be fun to go in for a beer and see what happens, except that I am afraid the risks might outweigh any possible entertainment value.

As far as women are concerned, I mean meeting them, I really think it is much better to meet women where one finds those who share ones interests, for example reading.

I think that there must be some really smart and interesting ladies in libraries around here, but I have not yet tried this either.

Actually, what I think that I would prefer is to just go to BKK and sample some really posh eateries, I mean the really good stuff, and then order a glass of wine, and see what happens if I might meet a really interesting chick or something.

I have not given it much thought, since I have been so busy, but maybe some time in the future I will get to go to a bar, or something.

If the risks include becoming uncontrollably drunk, then I'd say you have been making the correct decision.

I haven't stopped working offshore so rarely stay more than 2 months at a time in the village home. Did the same as countless others before me, bought some land, built a not so over the top nice house but bigger than most. No inside kitchen except for micro, nothing inside indicates western standard as days are spent outside, meals eaten outside. Small things would piss me off about the way the house was kept initially but as years go by they seem immaterial.

I've also come to realize I wouldn't settle for that lifestyle when I stay full time. We'll relocate to a non tourist beach town mainly to provide a better school for our kid. I'm not knocking the small village lifestyle but honestly I've worked too hard all my life to settle for that. I'd like to go see English speaking movies. and I'd love having beach close by. And another plus is not having folks stopping by the house unannounced everyday. Doesn't really bother me anymore, not like it did at first.

All my Thai neighbors hate me because I yell at them in Thai when having to clean up their dogs' mess after their dogs leave such mess in front of our gate where I have to either clean it up or step in it when opening/closing our gate while they stand there watching me clean it up.

Suits me just fine.

Pity they don't pick up their own kee maa with plastic bags like they do in civilisation. Go knows everywhere you look there are plastic bags lying around, no shortage

Could you imagine what they'd be saying if they saw a farang walking behind his dog picking up dog crap in a little plastic bag. Priceless

JLCRAB Get over the dog sh£t. This is not the JLCRAB forumn. Your dogs shit crap is hijacking the topic. Start your own thread about dog sh£t.

Crab - May no mind to the self appointed Big Dog, daily updates on the dog crap situation appreciated.

I think my wife is starting to feel some pressure living here. Been a lot of pressures on her moving back here with a farang husband...strangely I've adapted easilly. I think she thought she would move back here and receive instant status etc but the tall poppy syndrome is alive and well in Isaan. Petty jealousies, gossip, showing off par for the course. My wife came to live in Australia for a year and wasn't impressed with the big house etc. She couldn't get the same food there as in Isaan haha. I wud rather have a girl like that than a woman who dives into the designer lifestyle. She grew up dirt poor, and I mean poorer than most poor people here. She really hasn't changed either, the people around her have though. For eg people can't understand why she has money yet she dresses like a farm girl and gossip. If she was getting around in designer gear and make up she'd be equally ostrasised. She's had 3 friends put photos of me in their Facebook and lead others to believe i am their guy. Even close friends which has hurt her deeply. Had a girl here yesterday joke to her if my wife doesn't help her find a farang husband she'll come and steal me. A joke but not a joke to an Isaan girl. Half the people seem to gossip because I roll my own cigarettes and we chose to renovate her basic 2 bedroom home rather than build a palace. We have a lovely comfortable home but who in their right mind would spend millions of baht on a home on non chanote village land in someone elses name. I'm kie neow and kie nok. Seems like many would like to see her fall down and very hard for her to win it would seem. Weve gone out of our way to be friendly and respectful, live low key and help where we can. I wont have a bar of showing off. Its easy for me to genuinely respect most here because I cudnt work on a farm bent over for 12 hours in 40 degree heat. We have a lot of genuine friends here too but the few negative types dominate my wifes thoughts. The gossip really doesn't worry me as in most cases whilst they're wrong I can understand the childlike reasoning, lack of education and the boredom which breeds gossip. There are some hiso families in the village with big homes and big gates and they simply shut the lower people out of their lives. Strangely people here seem to respect that as that is how they expect someone with money to act and there comfortable. Everything as it should be. We don't encourage cadgers wanting a handout or drunks but the local kids know they are always welcome and get a feed here. Even that's been a bone of contention? Why you take care of kid but not give older people anything? I'm afforded VIP Status everywhere I go simply because I am a farang. I actually like the language barrier, I don't have to listen to any negativity. Im not whining or complaining. Im very happy living here but i do feel for my wife. Anyone else have similar pressures moving to Isaan?

Hi I have live in a village in issan off and on for 6 years and to me it is the same as you all the bullshit with the village people and I not give a shit I not care if my thai listens to they shit I tell her not to listen and if she dose up to her I am a lot lucky then most man in thailand I go home a lot to get away from the shit village life not know about you but to me village life is shit give me my home back in Australia any day I not get the shit I get in a thai villages .

Have another small shot of lao kao and take it easy.

My gf of 5 years goes through the same thing in her village, and again it's some of her friends who give her the most grief (especially the relatively more hiso ones). They're the ones who will constantly ask her why I haven't bought her a car yet or why I don't fly her to Bangkok to meet rather than letting her take the bus. It's caused a real tension in her friendship with a couple of them. She also owns a small beauty shop and previously had several photos of us in the 'work' area that customers could see. On a trip there a few months back, I noticed that all the photos of us had been moved to her bedroom walls at the back of her shop. I asked her about it, and she said that she had become tired of all her customers asking about her 'farang bf' and giving her advice about how to extract money from me. She found these sorts of conversations very stressful and hurtful, and they were happening on a daily basis. Clearly, for many village people, having a foreign partner is like coming across the proverbial pot of gold, and they are intent on imposing this outlook on others.

p.s. I'm not completely kao niao. I did buy my gf a new bike because her 10 year old one was literally falling apart. [Turned out it was cheaper than my latest camera purchase, but I will not be telling her that ]

Now I want to know why you have her taking bus rather than flying? You don't have to buy her a car, you can buy one for yourself that she can drive and everyone's happy.

Still hit the wipers instead of blinkers at unoportune times. I still won't pass around blind curves or with close oncoming traffic, instead wait for safe conditions which is appreciated by all passengers. Now that rice is planted not so many cattle to avoid is nice, But still have the dogs sunning in the roads. Drive mainly in Issaan, where slow and steady is the best on the small roads. Once was t-boned by a herd of cows, they came out of a small path on the left at a full run.

Correct parellel parking still puts me ahead of most thai drivers. Pulling straight in to a parking spot is all they know it seems.

My wife gets asked why she doesn't wear gold (because somebody nearly stole her necklace one day), why we only have a small car (because it's cheaper and easier to park amongst other things), why she doesn't wear make-up (because I told her I'd leave if she does)

many similarities with me :-) particularly the car. Well we broke the cardinal rule....we got a 4x4 pick up. In Australia a 4x4 Isuzu or Toyota costs upwards of $50 k. A Toyota Corolla or Camry $20 - 30k and would be considered a ladies car. We live in a rural area with badly potholed and dirt roads, Creek crossings etc. What an opportunity I thought wen I found out a 4x4 pick up was so cheap here (govt subsidized? ) I mean a 4x4 is a no brainer for us. Yet we are asked all the time why don't we have a sedan? We have money? Giving a logical answer as above is met with a blank stare. Not about what does the job best, about how it looks. We see the few people in our Tambon who have sedans slowly crawling alnong the awful 10km road out to the main road all the time.

I bought a sedan car so it cannot perform as an extended family/village workhorse or taxi

When I bought my truck I thought the same thing but am glad I bought 4 dr. Pickup. I've had the back end full of people on many occassions going to visit family or special destination. It's not bad. A truck was the right decision for us.

I don't care what they say because now they say very little. They were only acting out that the stupid farang doesn't know Thai and if our dogs sh-t outside his gate or window he won't say anything about it because he won't want to make us lose face.

Now when they see me they sometimes frown but they say nothing. One of them had a puppy that used to crap out by the gate and I told them if they keep letting that puppy play in the street a car is going to run over it.

The puppy is now gone.

Keep up the good fight and stay focused on the crap.

Welcome to Thai Visa - where the mere idea of treating your wife like a human being is met with derision.

Mrs. SB looking over your shoulder is she.

I get the feeling where the OP is talking about no one cleans up dog crap.

If she's wealthy she doesn't need bribes. She would be more appreciative of knowing her husband understands her... an apology would mean more to her.

Its just plain weird and wrong.

How can you give your wife a good seeing to if there's a kid watching?

Anyone who has their kid sleeping in the same bed or same room as them, obviously isn't banging their wife.

You clearly don't have much idea how Thai families live.

They still manage to have sex with grandparents, parents and children all in the same room.

I usually find my own path in life, just because your neighbors have 3 generations sleeping in 1 room doesn't nessessarily make it a good thing.

It's hard enough waiting till the baby falls asleep before you dance, now you've gots gramma keeping score.

My family is absolutely fanatical about unplugging the microwave after each use because of the fluorescent clock. I showed them it costs only about 3 baht per month to leave it plugged in, but that only seemed to reinforce their position. "SEE? THAT'S THREE BAHT WE COULD BE SAVING!"

But they don't have a problem with replacing the two AA cells (cost ~ 10 baht each) in each of the analog wall clocks twice a year.

Yeah, same here. It's not for cost, as we have hot water pot going all day.

I say give Rambo a call, last I heard he was in the Chang Mai area.

I SAID:

So if I understand correctly, you carry your wife's groceries?

HER groceries?

How kind of you.

REPLY WAS:

No - you do not understand....but bicker all you like - seems to suit you along with the broadcasting of your own excellence......

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

My wife does not carry her groceries.

I do not carry my wife's groceries.

WE carry OUR groceries.

Too modern a concept for some posters I guess.

Not the wife but she carries HER groceries and I carry MY groceries. I like cooking my own food at home and she likes to cook her Isaan food which I say could choke a billy goat.

My servant carries our groceries. After all we're not savages any longer.

Here we go again with farang ignorance on customs and traditions in asia.

In case you haven't yet realized, that's what this forum is about, foreigners asking question about local customs.

You can come in two, five, ten years time and you will still have newbies asking again and again the same question because that's what this forum is about. Get it ?

Let's remember the topic started about a 12 yr. old boy sleeping in his parents room when other bedrooms were available. We're not talking about a situation that required this arrangement with no other options.

Necessity does not dictate custom. So I'm to believe a 12 yr. old boy would not rather have his own room with TV, video games, privacy......that he would rather sleep in parents room. Just because a few posters have done it does not make it the country's custom.