JSixpack

FAQ

 

Q: Why do you write such long posts?

A: Piece o' cake. Me, I was lucky to have had an excellent typing teacher in the 10th grade: Mrs. Brown, bless 'er. If you yourself need help learning to type, you might try here: Learn How to Touch Type. I'm also enjoying using my backlit mechanical keyboard with Cherry MX blue switches. Tried one yet? You should. For perspective, consider that Tolstoy rewrote War And Peace eight times with a quill pen. Spend more time with Henry James and Marcel Proust.

 

Behind the scenes, I do have some great tools for fast composition, like clipboard manager, scrapbook, autopager, quick text paster, web editor, etc. So many forum posts in the Pattaya forum are just timeworn repetitions that only merit the same copy-and-paste response anyway.

 

But let's not go there. Better comfort yourself w/ the (laughable) fantasy that I'm lonely, obsessed, need to get a life, etc. Cheers!

 

 

Q: Why are you posting?

A: To be helpful when possible. Otherwise, to correct bias and nonsense while having a good laugh via satire. I've found satire about the only hope of changing any minds around here--facts, logic, and a rational perspective are pretty much useless. I like making fun of posts by our whingers, know-it-alls, blowhards, ace experts in every field (esp economics), tea money choristers, bigots, and of course doomsayers. In the course of which, by acting as troll bait, I try to help rid the forum of trolls--and sometimes succeed. Endless supply of 'em though.

 

There aren't many members posting balanced, rational, objective views. We

• live and let live,
• accept the unchangeable,
• handle problems routinely,
• interact with Thais well, and simply
• roll with the flow,

unfazed by the mess and paradox one may naturally expect to encounter in a Third World country. Since we're pretty happy living in Thailand, we're often labeled wearers of rose-tinted classes, Thai apologists with heads in the sand, and the worst term of opprobrium known to any TVF Poster: real estate agents!

 

Q: Your posts make me VOMIT! Aren't you devastated?

A: No, this squeal merely means you know I've won, your arguments have been shredded, and you're a sore loser, poor thing. But you could change your mind now and embrace a rational, balanced perspective and objectivity. Well, could, LOL.

 

I like reporting flames, though, to help rid the forum of trolls. Bring it on! I regret I can't enjoy answering and calling you names, too, because my reply would just be deleted along with your flame. If I have to play by the forum rules, so do you.

 

 

I typically delve into history to show that TVF Posters just complain about the same things that were complained about decades ago and, no, they don't spell The End of anything. You can see that approach in action here.

 

I'm the discoverer of TVF Poster New Construction Syndrome (TVFPNCS) with its 5 stages:

 

1. Puzzlement
2. Disbelief; "no need"
3. Derision; doom prediction
4. Hate (disappointment)
5. Acceptance.

 

And I've identified various OCDs, such as Tic-Related Promenade OCD and Tic-Related Police Conspiracy OCD.

 

 

Moreover, I've identified TVF Poster Economics as a separate branch of economics based on classical Golden Egg Theory. A brief history, underpinnings, and crucial concepts such as Fixed Pie, distilled from years of ace economic analyses, are found here. Various rules and measures are applied in TVF Poster Economics, such as the lights on at night count, shopping bag count, My Eyeballs At Random Intervals, Looking Not Buying, No Change, Only One Needed, and At All Times. TVF Poster Economics partly accounts for such fundamental tenets as the Pattaya Perpetual Death Spiral rehashed at least twice a year.

 

Further, I've discovered a couple of solutions. First to common ills such as pollution, rats, trash; read about that here. And the perfect paradise where our disillusioned can move and be happy finally. I always encourage leaving rather than just continually whinging, plagued by Whither Thailand and Whither Pattaya space monkeys, and being miserable. Seen it do wonders for some members.

 

After years of reading postings from our sharpest members with the best advice, in 2014 I distilled the collective wisdom into the now-classic shrewd, street-smart TVF Poster Three Primal Laws Of Survival In Thailand:

 

1. Never invest in anything you aren't ready to lose;

2. Never own more than you can carry with you or freely leave behind;

3. Keep your suitcase packed at all times.

 

Which is all a typical poster needs. Quoting one or more of the Laws gives you ten (+10) instant points of TVF posting cred from the peanut gallery. Obeying the Laws is critical given the dire future of Pattaya predicted at least twice yearly in our Pattaya Perpetual Death Spiral threads. I've described that dire future in detail here.

 

Finally, I'm the author of JSixpack's Law, modeled after Godwin's Law.

 

Godwin's law (or Godwin's rule of Hitler analogies)^[1][2] is an Internet adage that asserts that "As an online discussion grows longer, the probability of a comparison involving Hitler approaches 1";^[2][3] that is, if an online discussion (regardless of topic or scope) goes on long enough, sooner or later someone will compare someone or something to Adolf Hitler or his deeds.

     --Wikipedia

 

And so JSixpack's Law applicable to the TV forum:

 

As a TVF online discussion grows longer, the probability of a comparison involving the Red Bull or Koh Tao case approaches.