Do discuss with your lady. I'd go in low-ball at 5k, when you get the evil-eye you can always go up (go in too high and you can never, ever, offer less in future).
Was there any "village insurance" in place? Many people pay a fixed (tiny) amount each month to ensure at least a decent send off.
It really depends upon how close the family member was. No need for multiple days of monking etc. but certainly a bit of face-saving for the family wouldn't go astray.
We only paid in 10k for the MiL funeral but there's a massive family so a significant profit was made even when the average was nearer 2k, most of which went to the temple anyway.