Valjean

As soon as I accepted my role and the old, smelly, stupid, bald, etc. farang, life is good. What can someone expect from such a useless creature (other than regular deposits). I've tried to make sure anything I touch or do around the house goes wrong. After 20+ years of a Honey Do list I now live without one. If I decide to rise from my stupor and try to get my way around the house I make sure I'm going to win. Decisive battle and then get out of the way.

My stock answer to complaints; who's more stupid - a stupid farang or a woman who marries a stupid farang?

All and all it's about a close to bliss with a woman as I can imagine and wouldn't trade it for anything. But then I'm stupid so what do I know...

It's more expensive but outfits like Regis at All Seasons have fully equipted offices - they start around 30K a month but they do make deals and maybe they would feel sorry for an NGO - they do have short term desks for companies with staff moving around. Very nice work space and they have others around town.

also do a bunch of googling - I recall some budget "office by the day" work spaces as well.

True has a few upscale cafes; Siam Paragon, Siam Square, Tonglor that could be a step up from Starbucks.

Does your NGO have connections with NGOs here? That could work out

In my experince, both in my own company and in a multi-national here it's in many respects easier than the US. You just have to pay severence pay at an extablished rate depending on how long they have worked. I don't think the US type "just cause" is a much of a factor. It's very hard to make a case for not paying the serverence. If they just stop comming or are caught with the and in the till maybe but just assume you have to pay the severvence.

It comes down to work permit issues.

To hire you, a farang, a Thai company will need 2million capitalisation and 4 thai workers. 2 farangs = 4mil and 8 thais and on and on. So some companies either cannot afford it or have reached their quota.

Then there is the time and cost of getting the WP, they'll need to fly you out to obtain a B visa then apply for the WP.

Actually its not that different from elsewhere in the world. Look at the USA, the company will have to obtain a greenmcard/wp for the foreigner. And to get one they will have to explain to the govt why they cant hire a local and need to hire you instead.

That and the question...what makes you sooo special??.....

The 4 Thai's aren't actually needed for a WP. They are needed though when it comes to extending the visa based on employment. Having said that things may have changed since I got my last WP.

I'm not sure about this but as I haven't followed the exact details in the process that my bookkeeping firm uses to get my and one expat working for me visas/WP so maybe you're right. In any event the 2 million per WP is accurate and be it Visa or WP my payroll tax report needs to have a 4:1 ratio. I'm right on the edge and believe me come the end of the month if I don't have someone I better hire them and the authorities have come around and see if people are really working.

All of my customers are outside of Thailand and I hire a number of freelancers in the US, at US wages, for skills I can't get here. And I hire some Philipines freelancers at their local wages for skills they have. If the WP/visa wasn't an issue perhaps I'd bring in one more expat but to be honest I woudn't think to pay US wages. That's my business model - lower costs.

Also keep in mind that you are still competing against the US and Europe in many IT jobs. I have a specialized web developer doing projects in the US at $100 per hour (in his day job he's a VP at mid-sized digital agency). I have experinced copywriters and writers at $50-$75 per hour. I have fresh Thai IT grads at $3.50 per hour. If I'm going to pay top dollar then in this type industry I can look anywhere and find the best. Overall I try to blend my costs. Especially in IT this is very fluid - I don't have any agenda Thai versus anyone else. I'm just a business trying to get the best product or service out there and make as much as I can in the process. You need to see yourself as part of this global job market.

We have two women my wife's age; a cousin that's really like a sister to her as they grew up together with their grandmother and a long time friend of both and roommate of the cousin. They moved in about a month ago. We all lived in Bangkok and took time with lots of weekend visits at our house (they just had a small apartment). It just felt comfortable at some point. We have a 4 year old and my wife is busy getting her grad degree. They both work FT (the cousin now for me) so it's not like live in nanny but there are more hands to help out.

So far so go. We're an easy going, responsible, quiet bunch who like the same sorts of things. I'm am super busy with a start-up right now and I like that my wife and son have family around. They are good with him also - not the dotting aunts that spoil, firm but really engaged with activities.

We give each other our space. We fixed up the maid room and remodeled the bathroom for them so they have their own place outside the house. We have the upstairs to ourselves. And my office is walking distance from the house so not only am I there a lot but if I ever wanted to be alone on weekends or evenings I can always go there to goof around on the computer or read.

For a westerner having some space is important. Put me in my wife's family's home at the holidays with 20+ people mostly sleeping on the floor, half of them it seems in our addition to the house where there's aircon and after a few days I'm coming unhinged. (or to be more accurate you can find me at my friend's quiet guest house drinking coffee or wine depending on the time of day)

Needless to say people who you trust 100% is essential.

Yes, you definitely can. Your WP will list your position in both companies. Don't try to open the second company without adding that to your WP or you'll be in trouble.

When I made the transition from working for a mult-national to my own company we specifically made sure I got my new company on the work permit, with the existing one so that the wouldn't be any break. So yes it's possible, and in some cases important, to have two jobs/companies listed.

Khinlom Chom Saphan and Yok-Yor are both good recommendations.

In Love at the Tha Thewit ferry stop is good also and easy to get to by boat if you take the river shuttle. Good food, nice soft music, up on a deck overlooking the river.

On the other side of the river if you get off at Sirirat ferry stop, walk into the market to your right and walk south, downstream a 100 meters or so there's a nice place with a second floor view of the river and all the royal temples across the river. It's easy to find.

More to the south of Bangkok is Good View http://www.goodview.co.th big place and very popular.

So many choices really, no reason to go to a stuffy hotel. All of these are reasonably priced.

Monsoon Communications provides web design, development and online marketing services to companies in the US, Canada, UK and Australia. We want to provide English lessons for five or six of our Thai staff. Everyone is a college graduate early 20’s – 30’s. Skills range from basic to advanced, but most are at a basic conversation level. They would like to improve their English – and I’d like to improve communications level in the company. All email, tools, websites, etc. are in English.

From a business perspective I’d like to see a focus on conversation. For most they have a good foundation and just need practice and confidence. (I took Berlitz classes to learn my basic Thai,as well as a few other schools, and felt the intensive conversational approach was good.)

We are looking for someone to come to our office once or twice a week and teach a combination of private and group lessons. We are located on Pradipat not far from the Saphan Khwai BTS station

As an aside we do a lot of editorial development and website updates. We have a need for a native UK English editor and can always use help with copy updates and small writing projects. This is not full time and we are not in a position to offer a work permit so any interested candidate would have to have that arranged with their principal job. But possible there could be some extra hours if you were interested and qualified. The priority however is the teaching.

If interested please PM me with CV, rates and availability.

I think the TVs fair game to criticize - like any other art or entertainment I guess it just comes down to what you like. But I don't see why you need to denigrate a belief system different than your own with a statement like "all the nonsense about spirits, ghosts and all the other crap"

I don’t mean to pick on you for this – it’s a pet peeve of mine on this board overall.

While the religions I know about have a basis in good teachings and moral guidelines they are all fundamentally a belief system. You can’t prove the Christian God any more than you can prove or disprove ghosts. The Christian’s believe that Jesus died and came back from the dead and his spirit is with them all the time. Many Thais may believe there are ghosts. How can I argue with any of them?

I may not believe in any of it but even my non-belief is just another belief system. I can’t prove what I believe to be the nature of life or the universe – I look at what I think is the empirical evidence and wrap some beliefs around that. I’m comfortable in my beliefs and more than happy to let others believe what they want.

By the way this research is a little old 2007 but I suspect still accurate (but I think trending down over the years)

34% of Americans believe in ghosts – the same percentage that believe in UFOs.

22% say they have seen a ghost.

19% believe in witchcraft

48% believe in ESP

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21477704/

Lumpini Park in the early morning to see the giant lizards, take a walk and play at the playground

By the Children's Museum by JJ is another big park for bike riding and playing

Safari World

Aquarium at Siam

Feeding fish in the river at Tha Tewit ferry stop. Lunch by the river, ride the cross river ferry there to the playground at the Wat, our 4 year old is happy for hours.

I filled out some paperwork at Bangkok Bank and now have online foreign transfers from my online banking. There's a yearly limit of I think something like US$100,000 and a per transfer of $20,000 maybe. I forget. So if you were selling a condo or something you might have to go through that paperwork but for the rest it's real easy. You tell them it's for family support, education and such. I think there are some restrictions as to why.

And I also set up Bangkok Bank's NY routing info with my US account so it's online and very cheap to just do an intrabank transfer from US to TH.

I suspect SCB might be as good or better but have most of my experince with Bangkok Bank. I did just get my business online account at SCB and it's pretty solid set of features.

Thanks for reply,but i was asking about a very old tradition,not a recent one.There must be a particular colour corresponding to each day,like there is a planet for each day,or a colour for each chakra

There are 4 color categories for each day; Power, Success/Wearlth, Supporter, Unlucky. For each day of the week there is a color, and sometimes 2 for each category.

One day we were having a company meeting I was leading for about 40 people. My team informed me that I was wearing an unlucky color for that day and they wanted me to put on a coat of a different color. Now on one level they laugh at this; this is a multi-national and most have their MBAs and have traveled, studied and lived outside of Thailand. But still it made them uncomfortable to have me wear the wrong color. And if you think about it for equally subjective reasons we might see someone in a color of dress, in a situation and think "that's not appropriate" and it would shape our opinion of that person.

Anyway I have the chart in my closet and never wear unlucky colors. When you have the chart and look around, say on the morning news show, you see how it is followed.

On Thaivisa you control outbound links. In blogging linking to other blogs, sites and articles is part of the key value of a blog. Is your blog policy going to be to restrict the links a blog owner can put in their blog?

I've found them OK. Let's face it they are a bureaucracy and follow their rules. And like some of the examples below I've see jerks there so I'm sure they are a big jaded like airport check-in staff. But overall if you have your ducks in a row, they will help you and get you out of there without much trouble.

Agree here. I think it's nice that the parents want to teach their offspring social manners. When given a Wai, whether genuinely felt or fake, the receiver should at least acknowledge it, and I don,t mean you necessarily have to wai back, a nod of the head and a quick smile would suffice.

Correct.

Surely you teach your children to say Please and Thank you??

This is the Thai equivalent.

Always acknowledge the Wai, but as stated a nod and smile is enough.

You should never initiate a Wai to someone else, unless the are older than you

or deserving of respect.

A post I genuinely appreciate! I'd been worrying that my lack of 'wai'ing' (even though as a farang they must know I have no idea of the etiquette), still might be perceived as rude.

Its good to know that my bowing of the head and smile is acceptable!

For the most part waiing when you shouldn't isn't rude really,just out of place but not something a Thai would get upset about. It is considered bad luck to have someone older and more respected wai you so for instance at my job my team let me know to never wai them even when I wanted to say thanks for doing something special. If it's a one off from a stranger, who is afterall trying to be polite, it's accepted in the context of someone who knows better. In the case of my work where they know I'm going to be there every day the got me quickly in line with doing it right.

One place where I'd more freely wai is in family and friends settings - when you arrive for a gathering and everyone is waiing each other and except for the children you should return it. Make a special effort to initiate a wai with the grandparents and other old people, take time and do it nicely. And your partners parents. I'm older than my wife's parents but I should always wai them first to show respect.

In other places watch what the Thai's do. For instance the trainiers at my gym wai everyone - and everyone coming to workout wais back. If it's from just the front check-in desk then no. Just pay attention and it gets pretty clear.

I've thought there could be a handy guidebook "To Wai or not Wai, That is the Question"

My poor 4 year old son, being luuk-krung and bilingual, is having to learn when to wai and when to shake hands, when to say please and when to say krup, who to call Pi and other small items like showing the headmaster respect. Poor child...

Depends on where you are. In Bangkok "there are currently 65 international schools in Bangkok that include a wide range of British, American, Chinese, French, German, Japanese, and Singaporean accredited curriculums" And there are bilingual programs of many combinations. Most British and American programs would be English only but there are many options. Major cities would have English international schools and as you'd expect the smaller the city options get reduced.

Search for international schools in Bangkok or where you want to live and you'll find the range of cost. There's a wide range.

I've come to like, and appreciate the silent treatment. I've been in a relationship that things would blow-up into arguments and then you just say stupid things. Now I know if she's upset, I don't say much and go about my business and in a day or a few things are OK and we talk about it. She'll ask nice for me to stop doing something, most of the time I've been unaware or not paying attention to what I do, I agree and then it's make-up sex time! Now if I'm angry about something I've learned some wisdom to letting things setting down a little and take time to reflect.

My advice is just let it go. "Trying to get to the bottom of things" or the core issue is useless and just feeds the game. Go about life and in time she will want to talk - and then you should be a nice guy and listen.

Lastly I'll say there is a time when it's not a "leave me alone and let us cool off" common sense and it's just f'ing with your head. And for that, especially early in a relationship I'm 100% into the "OK that's fine, I'll go find some company and a hotel, call me when you're in the mood to talk". I did that twice and the BS was over. Now it's just standard quite time (remember the Thai way isn't to fight). Don't let it get under you skin. In it's own way it's a good thing.

There was another thread on this in general awhile back and the bottom line is you do. I didn't believe it at first - having come here twice as a volunteer teaching English in a Bangkok public school. And I know a good non-profit organization here that has a very established program of non-Thai’s coming here for volunteer work. My son did it for 6 weeks.

My conclusion was that technically a work permit is required. Hundreds and perhaps more come here with various organizations and do volunteer work and no one bothers them. They come and they go – maybe it’s really OK under that condition or maybe no one cares. TIT. If you live here then the line between being a good guy helping out and doing a job that someone might complain about and get you into trouble is so fine that no one could define it. I’ve not a scintilla of evidence one way or the other but I’d guess the risk of getting booted out of the country on a visa violation for helping in a school or hospital would be very small – but the last thread I was on convinced me it was possible.

If I was to risk this I’d try to get with an established organization – so even if it’s technically not OK they are doing it all the time. There are some great groups to work with.

Or one idea would be to find a school close to where he lives. In Bangkok they all have computer labs. Ask to help work in the lab. Things need fixing, kids like to learn, teachers will love you and he’ll have a lot of fun. Speaking Thai not required. Hard to believe anyone will give him a hard time. I’d admit possible but really…

You need your name in a house register in order to register ownership of the car in your name.

I bought a new car in Thailand in my own name and didn't have to do this.

I'd agree that Index isn't IKEA but it's OK. They do have good delivery service. Try Central Bang Na and there are 2 floors with different stores, the big ones like Index are there in a smaller format as well as 10 or so others. There's an Index Living Mall just down the road.

I think it's a great idea.

I brought my parents over about 8 years ago - they are now 84 and 86 years old.

The only stipulation they gave was that they not live in BKK or further south as too humid and they do not like big cities.

So we built them a house up north just outside Chiang Rai, about 7 mins froma good hospital and 15 mins from the airport.

They love it and I am sure they are better off heath wise than in the UK, as my father had a quad heart bypass 15 years ago now and at the time they advised he would be lucky to see 5 to 8 more years.

They go into town every couple of days for shopping and lunch at their local's to chat and see what's going on.

I think very easy for your mum to meet people if she want's too, as most expat here are of mainly over 60.

She will also have you and your family but would reconsider BKK if you can unless she is a city girl.

Good luck

thanks for the reply. For now we are settled in Bangkok as I have a busines here and our son in school. (and I like it). All things being equal she'd be better perhaps with less city but she's OK with it. We live in a nice quite neighborhood, trees, houses, families and quiet so that makes a big difference.

Anyway thanks!

Hi All - thanks for the help and suggestions. My mom has been here twice, she flew over here a alone when she was 81 so she's always been independent - until the stroke living alone, driving and having a busy life.

I agree with the comments about meeting new friends - that worries me. However to the extent she's more and more incapable of getting out and about she's going to end up meeting new friends in a nursing home anyway. Which is still easier than here.

Anyway tough decision - and really one I don't know if she can make. If she would really understand that she's probably buying a 1 way ticket and could get here and be unable to return if she wanted. That's problematic.

Anyway thanks all and here's a fun story about when Mom met future wife...

I met my wife traveling with my Mom and sister up country. My future wife-to-be worked at a guest house we were staying at. My mom took to her right away and thought she was the most adorable young woman. My wife's nickname is Meow and she was wearing a t-shirt with a cat telling my mom Meow means cat in Thai. (really her name is Mameow the fruit and not meow as cat in but she'd found easier for frarangs to remember) To make a long story short after my mom and sister went to bed the two of us went out to have to have a beer and chat.

The next day driving in the car I told my mom and sister that I went out with Meow the night before. They both felt she was too young (and being Thai looking younger than she is). My mom, in confusion over her name that she knew was something about cats, said to me "That pussy is too young for you". My sister and I had a good laugh driving down the road...

But with some move visits here and there they are quite close and my mom adores her young daughter in law.

My mother in the US is 83 and recently had a stroke so has trouble walking. I think in time she may but she will never be independent again. Just a bit ago she was in her lovely condo, driving herself to volunteer work and to see friends. Now she’s in a nursing home where in her words “people are waiting to die”.

I’m considering having her come stay here with me – it’s no problem for my wife and all and in her visits she loves our busy house full of life – our 4 year old, the dogs, our maid and her kids, it’s a busy place.

The only thing I worry about is some occasional companionship for her. She is very social and likes to meet up with others seniors and just have some small talk and do things. If it was once a week that would be grand.

Is there any community at all where old English-speaking farangs meet up? Are their old farang ladies in Thailand who might enjoy a cup of coffee or lunch from time to time?

Let me know what you know.

These icon sets by Yang Liu are interesting ways to understand the contrasts. While this is specifically Chinese & German it's roughly equivalent for East & West.

http://www.myseveralworlds.com/2007/10/24/...tures-part-one/

http://www.myseveralworlds.com/2007/11/06/...ulture-part-ii/

http://www.myseveralworlds.com/2007/11/23/...lture-part-iii/

It's easy to see the superficial elements of culture. It's very hard to understand the deep cultural wiring we all have. To some extent you can never get it. Perhaps some people who really grow up in two cultures and spend time in each can but being 40-50 years in once culture and coming here you'll always be outside looking in.

But Spee and others are right - you can't judge it and you can't try to understand it from the framework of your culture. In the same way a man with a hammer sees every problem as a nail it's hard to take our mental models and have them encompass different ones. At some point you accept the difference as something delightful, you can learn to dance with it and it can color your world but you can't really have it inside. (this bi-directional). Or you can let it drive you nuts because people aren't behaving in accordance with your mental map of "normal". Up to you!