Gecko123

If you're inferring from this comment that your Thai language skills are good enough to decipher the lyrics of this song without relying on the English subtitles.... I. Don't. Believe. You.

All these warnings that the family will likely descend upon the OP with endless financial hardship stories and conniving invitations to go sightseeing at the local Big C Supercenter, as amusing and entertaining as they are, are mostly just bar stool tales which have been embellished and handed down over the years. The chances of the OP encountering this behavior on an initial visit are pretty slim. Everyone is going to be on their best behavior. The girlfriend will be keeping everyone on a short leash, not only so as to not scare the OP off, but to make sure she remains the main beneficiary of his generosity.

Trying to frame this as "manning up" or being "scared" to meet her family is being silly. All I'm suggesting is that the timing of the visit can be used as a tool to manage expectations and the pace of the relationship. You've never heard that "taking him/her home to meet the parents" is often considered a significant milestone in a relationship? You don't think there's a potential for claiming a loss of "face" or triggering resentment because you decided to break up with her after she introduced you to her family and her kids? Or being put under emotional pressure to become more emotionally involved or committed after a visit home?

It adds a layer of expectation which can be used to apply emotional pressure.

Are you familiar with the concept of a rhetorical question?

What are you doing in Bangkok? Are you employed there? What kind of visa are you on? You're relatively young, supporting a wife and two kids is not going to be cheap. Are you planning on working in Bangkok or repatriating? What is her job title at the insurance company and what is her salary? Is she a vice president of claims or is she a file clerk? Exactly how did you meet this insurance company employee? I certainly do not want to impugn anyone's background, but you need to know that some women with day time jobs are effectively freelancing, and have had a lot of practice hooking foreign guys. A trip up country to meet the family is something of a rite of passage for many foreign guys. Can be very insightful and educational, but I would say inviting you up to Isaan after one week of dating is definitely a red flag, and suggests a strong desire to rush the relationship forward, which is not typical behavior for Thai women. Consider: most of the people she knew growing up in Isaan she probably has known all her life. She knows the importance of getting to know someone before leaping in with all fours. Another thing, if you're a relative noobie, and there's a significant language barrier between the two of you, i.e. you know a handful of phrases and words, and she can communicate every day needs like going places, food, etc., but can't really discuss things like values, politics, religion, you get the picture, you're probably projecting and attributing a ton of Western values and assuming a compatibility that may or may not be a figment of your febrile imagination. Go to Isaan to meet the family if you think it'd be a fun trip, but don't make any rash moves. You need extra time to get to know her when you are crossing cultural and language barriers. Jumping in with all fours usually ends in tears.

Looks like the front yellow windshield frame?/rollbar completely collapsed.

He asked them to lower their voices? Their voices? On a sparsely populated beach? After midnight? Not victim blaming here, but that wasn't a smart move. My rule of thumb: don't make noise complaints after the sun goes down. Too high a probability drugs and alcohol are being consumed and reaction to the complaint too unpredictable. Should have picked up his beach mat and moved down the beach.

Quite agree that diet, sleep regime and exercise are excellent areas to focus on. Really surprised how many pharmacological solutions have been recommended before focusing on lifestyle issues. Eating a diet rich in fruit, vegetables, nuts, fiber, etc. improves one's mood. Sleep is absolutely critical too. I have tried to practice good sleep hygiene for a long time now, but about a month ago started adhering to a fairly strict bed time and wake up time, and I have been ASTOUNDED about how this simple technique has improved the quality of my sleep AND my daytime energy levels. Give it a try, it is truly amazing how much this can improve your sleep and daytime energy levels. You go to bed more tired, sleep more soundly, and as a result, have more energy during the day.

I told the OP back in December on his "Making Friends with Thai Men" thread that I thought he was in danger of being chewed up and spit out by Thailand. I wrote this out of genuine concern. My bottom line assessment is that he has failed to make the transition from an endless summer, party animal, holiday maker mindset to a more sustainable expat lifestyle, one with a sense of purpose. The OP has an enviable talent for starting threads which generate a lot of hits, and seemingly has a lot of energy. He needs to find some activities that give him a sense of genuine fulfillment instead of activities which only temporarily fill an inner void. In my estimation, his transition to a more sustainable lifestyle is long overdue, and if he continues down the road of distraction and dissipation, he will soon discover - if he hasn't already - that Thailand has wrung his life force out of him and he has little to show for it. Thailand has a knack for letting people wallow in self-delusion and when reality hits, it's often not pretty. I've seen Thailand chew up and spit out lots of guys, many better men than me. You really have to take care of yourself here. Looking at Thailand as a playground is dangerous.

The teenage boy's past brushes with the law - which were likely unknown to the officer at the time of the shooting - are totally irrelevant to whether the use of deadly force was justified in this case. You seem to be arguing that his past brushes with the law made him a menace to society, likely to kill people if he escaped from the traffic stop, and therefore justified his shooting. Are you aware that the officer first claimed that he fired because his life was in danger (presumably by being run over) and when the video emerged, he amended his story saying that he was aiming for his lower extremities but the car bumped his arm causing the motorist to be shot in the chest. Whether either of these justifications for the shooting will be substantiated remains to be seen, but, initially, the video doesn't appear to corroborate the officer's version of events. https://www.policinglaw.info/country/france

I've been a Francophile for many years, have studied the language on and off throughout my life, and have tried to get a handle on what can rightfully be called "France's race problem," as this is a hot button issue for me in terms of France's attractiveness as a place to visit and live. Here's what I've been able to piece together over the years. Following WWII France enacted laws which prohibited the government from keeping track of people based on race and religion. These laws seem to have inhibited analysis of what is really going on in underprivileged neighborhoods. The pattern of underprivileged neighborhoods being located in outer bands surrounding cities creates serious isolation of these neighborhoods and seems to foster an "out of sight, out of mind" mentality about ignoring or giving lip-service to the needs of these underprivileged neighborhoods. Housing, employment, educational, not to mention social discrimination seems to be very common, and there seems to be a huge class divide between the elite inner cities and the surrounding regions. As a sidebar, this pattern of geographic racial and class segregation appears to be accelerating in America as well. There have always been good and bad neighborhoods, but in years past, these were found in relative proximity to one another, and there was still opportunities for interaction between different groups. Now, entire areas (for example the SF peninsula) and other West Coast cities have such high property values and taxes that they've become highly segregated, both racially and in terms of class. I see the solution to this problem as being more progressive taxes on the rich and higher estate taxes to eliminate these inequities as well as stopping corporations and hedge funds from buying up single family housing which is a direct cause of America's housing affordability crisis. Underlying the social tensions in France are fears about terrorism, immigration and criminality, which helps explain the French police's reputation for repressive policing aimed at racial minorities. But it's important to recognize that housing, employment, educational opportunity and social discrimination help feed terrorism recruitment and criminality. The widespread nature of the riots across France says a lot about the scope of underlying social tensions. When I watched images of hundreds of young physically fit mostly male rioters racing down streets, all I could think of was what a resource that energy could be if it was harnessed and put to productive use. It's no doubt a complex social problem which is going to take a lot of work to resolve. But the French politicians, starting with Macron, have to take the first step and admit there is a problem. His failure so far to acknowledge that there is any systemic problem with the policing, really has struck me as incredibly tone deaf or out-of-touch with the on the ground reality. This DW report, particularly the analysis of Paul Moreira which starts at 6:40, is probably the best commentary about the underlying causes of the French riots that I've come across so far. Edit: To all the people speculating about whether the kid was a drug dealer or otherwise up to no good, it's my understanding that he was stopped for driving in a bus lane.

Let me just say that I sincerely doubt you will encounter much resistance if you ask for 100% custody of your kid. In fact, I strongly suspect that if you are discussing taking full custody, your wife is probably secretly overjoyed and doing cartwheels about this prospect. Typically, the mother is saddled with the kids after a divorce whether she wants it or not, and Thai fathers fighting for custody are a rarity. If you have fretted to her about your fears for your son's safety, she may well be playing up the 'Mad woman of Chaillot' and 'unfit mother' angles precisely for the purposes of pushing you to take full custody. A lot of Thai women who get involved with foreign men or work in the entertainment business come from broken homes, and weren't even raised by their birth parents. So that maternal bond that you might otherwise expect from a mother, may not have particularly developed in your wife. She also has every incentive to encourage you to take full custody: for starters no child-rearing expenses, and if she's on-line trolling for a new overseas sugar daddy, if she manages to get her offspring from a prior marriage out of the picture, that's only going to make her more attractive to the new guy, and allow her more flexibility and freedom.

Well, if it's deliberate, what's the underlying motive? How can you say she's not involved with anyone else, when's she's spending time on dating apps?

When the OP said she was going on line chatting with different guys, my guess as to the likely explanation for her behavior immediately shifted from mental illness to a deliberate attempt on her part to get the OP to move out and divorce because she's romantically involved with someone else.

The OP's wife's approach is not typical of most Thai parents, but that doesn't mean it's wrong. I am solidly in the camp that children need their sleep, but I would tread lightly with your wife on this issue for the following reasons: 1. Not all kids are the same. Maybe your daughter is an exception to the rule. Does she show signs of sleep deprivation? One test might be to let her sleep in on a weekend and see how long she sleeps. Obviously, the longer she sleeps, the more likely it is that she needs more sleep during the week. 2. Is the OP's wife of Chinese descent? That kind of academic competitiveness is unusual among most rural Thais, but that doesn't mean it's wrong. You have to understand the classroom environment in most Thai government schools. There's usually a small nucleus of students at the top of the class that are actually learning what is being taught, followed by a second group that's kind of going through the motions, with spotty attendance and rampant homework copying. Then there's everybody else who is basically not really academically engaged. Your wife probably knows this reality, and is trying to keep your daughter in that top echelon where the real learning is taking place. Kids in this group have a tendency to help one another to learn and are very dialed in academically. 3. When you look at the rates of teen pregnancy in Thailand, there's something to be said about your wife's drill sergeant approach. Speaking from personal experience as well as having taught in Thai public schools, I would caution the OP that when these kids hit their teen years things can turn on a dime, and you may find yourself Googling "exorcists in Ubon Ratchathani" when those teenage hormones kick in. I'm just saying that in Thailand's rural environment where it is common for kids to get knocked up and drop out of school early, the more dialed in your daughter is to academic achievement, the more likely she'll be hanging out with success oriented classmates and the less likely she'll fall off the straight and narrow path. 4. The final reason I would counsel the OP to tread lightly is because in Thai culture, the mother is the primary child raiser, and a husband, even if they're Western educated, over ruling the mother might not be well received, and might undermine your wife's motivation to see your daughter succeed. I'm not suggesting you should bite your tongue and let your wife do whatever she wants, I'm just saying, I wouldn't get too overbearing and try to start dictating the parenting approach. Hope this helps.

Studying French grammar fills me with rapture.

Just some random comments in reaction to previous posts... 1. You might not be fit to fly in the event of a medical emergency, so you may not be able to return home on a timely basis to utilize home country insurance. Forum member Nancy L, RIP, pointed this out years ago. 2. Medical costs in Thailand appear to be rising considerably, and this should be considered if you are relying on self-insurance. 3. From what I've seen, life insurance and medical insurance policies in Thailand often contain clauses which are not particularly policy holder friendly. This particularly applies to sub-limits for specific types of medical conditions (like kidney disease), which are stated clearly in the policy. As unfair as these terms and conditions might seem when they are only discovered at the time a claim is made, this is not the same thing as an insurance company "looking for a way to not pay a claim." 4. One positive that can be said about self-insuring is that, when you know that any medical expenses will have to be paid out-of-pocket, many people will make lifestyle choices (exercise and diet) and avoid hazardous activities (drinking while driving, wearing safety belt) that will minimize their risk of landing in the hospital.

That's an unusually wild story.The guy agreed to participate in a double homicide just for the opportunity to commit rape? The woman took out her anger by strangling the victim AND crushing the head of her 2 year old infant under her foot? Although the guy committed the rape, the woman is the one who actually killed both victims. Pretty dark-hearted, I must say. These two seem to have badly miscalculated that setting fire to the house would destroy all the evidence. The area where this happened looks to be about half way between Phnom Penn and a part of Cambodia which juts into Vietnam known as the "Parrot's Beak." That area saw a lot of intense fighting and bombing during the Vietnam war. Looking on Google Maps, area looks like it is primarily rice farming, not affluent, but not destitute either.

This news report is evidence that: 1. Under age youth do not seem to have much difficultly getting their hands on ganja. (Arguments that restricting access to those over 21 solves the underage problem are disingenuous as everyone knows that the police do not have the resources to control access, especially when sales distribution controls are lax. ASEANNOW's cannabis enthusiasts needs to think about Thailand's youth and educational development.) 2. Cannabis is often used in conjunction with other intoxicants which can exacerbate undesirable behaviors, including while operating motor vehicles and heavy equipment. (ASEANNOW's cannabis enthusiasts need to get their heads out of the sand and acknowledge that cannabis isn't consumed in isolation and is often used in tandem with other drugs and alcohol which can exacerbate the level of intoxication and undesirable behavior.) 3. Increased experimentation with any drug is going to increase the likelihood of further drug experimentation. These two cases, even if they were highlighted as part of an anti-cannabis political agenda, are evidence that the use of recreational drugs increases the likelihood of further experimentation with other drugs. Maybe not for everyone, but for a significant portion of drug users. It's constantly restated on this forum that cannabis is not a gateway drug, despite the fact that anyone who grew up in the West has observed a steady increase in the consumption of drugs with the vast majority of people probably starting out with marijuana because of its availability and social acceptability. (ASEANNOW's cannabis enthusiasts seem to be singularly focused on how much they enjoy cannabis as part of their lifestyle and seem to give little thought to the welfare of their host country and whether it is detrimental to Thailand's youth, road safety, educational development, and general social progress.)

This one is the biggy. Less predictable rainfall, melting Himalayan glaciers, depleted aquifers, extended droughts, flooding. More and more, farming is becoming a crap shoot. There's no question in my mind that food inflation is going to continue increasing into the foreseeable future. I was in Tops today. I saw some gorgeous bing cherries, large luscious strawberries and mouth watering durian. The packages which were large but in no way huge were all selling at close to 1000 baht per package. The sticker shock was really sobering. It felt like these fruits had truly become luxury items. I could only imagine how someone on a more modest income would have reacted. This may sound like doomsday talk to some, but I'm telling you, due to climate change, people are not going to be eating as well as they have in the past and it's going to be a lot more expensive.

You may have hit on something there. Thailand isn't Truman World. If you have spend a lot of time in entertainment districts where people are constantly calling out your name, and trying to wheedle something out of you with false flattery and over friendliness, you can start to get the idea that the only reason they're there is for your amusement and entertainment. But get away from these zones, and you are reminded that everyday people have their own worries and preoccupations and don't necessarily feel obligated to put on a happy face for someone outside their circle of acquaintances. That goes for both other Thais and foreigners. If I show friendliness, it's almost always reciprocated, and I would say Thais are some of the most approachable people I've ever known. In contrast, most of the foreign men I've encountered over the years here are guarded, not especially friendly, frequently displaying borderline anti-social behavior.

Comparing your petty culture shock grievances to what black people experience back home is offensive. Rosa Parks, you're not. Next time someone declines the opportunity to sit next to you, grab them by the seat of the pants and make them sit back down. Or maybe get some buddies together, start a race riot, fire bomb some coffee shops, a baht bus or two. Finding some tiki torches shouldn't be too tough, you can probably make them homemade. Rampage down Main Street chanting 'Thais will not replace us!!!' Tell them you're mad as hell and not going to take it anymore. Make that impassioned speech about 'if I cut my finger, do I not bleed?' Or maybe you can make an effort to stop seeing yourself as a victim, start realizing that it's you who is going to have to adapt, not the other way around. Yeah, learning the language is a good start. One positive suggestion I would make is that if you're regularly experiencing what you believe are negative interactions with Thais, you might want to keep a log to see if there are any repetitive patterns, and analyze why the interaction was poor in order to avoid repeating the pattern, and if you know you are going to be going into a situation which might be challenging, plan ahead how you could react to make the experience as positive as possible. The foreigners on this forum who bellyache about how discriminated against and hated they are in Thailand always seem to relish the opportunity to play the racial victim. The phrase "when you're accustomed to privilege, equality feels like oppression" comes to mind.

Even though the above article talks about "SE Asia", it appears that they are using this term to describe India, Pakistan, Afghanistan, and Bangladesh. Sex selection, honor killings, exchange marriages, female circumcision, wife kidnapping, and acid throwing, which are cited in the article as examples of discrimination women in these countries are forced to endure are relatively uncommon in Thailand.

First place I'd be looking for illegal aliens would be under the guy in the middle's shirt.