Gecko123

In wife's defense... ....wife was waiting for police in close proximity to corpse. (one would expect someone who was involved in a murder to physically distance themselves from the body as much as possible) ....wife stated she was away from the house for only for a brief period before returning home to discover the body. If she was involved in his death, one would expect her to invent a story which placed her away from the house for a longer period of time. ...if she was involved in his death (presumably to acquire ownership of real estate property registered in her name) an on-premises death in bedroom is going to damage re-sale and karmic value associated with house. ...killing a spouse on-premises draws attention to members of household; doing so off-premises deflects attention away.

If the wife is fabricating stories of suicidal ideation and problems in home country, this will quickly come to light. Autopsy and crime scene evidence should reveal a lot. This story is being reported in Finnish press. Autopsy in Bangkok, and potential that family of deceased could order a second independent autopsy greatly reduces the potential that a crime might be swept under the rug. I say let's let the cops do their job on this one. Wife could well be telling the truth, but totally understandable why police are digging deeper.

Pleeza-no-poke in Phitsanulok

OP knows wife likely ran over the dog. Note humpty-bumpety sound. Telling the wife to deny it is not setting a good example for his children about honesty and personal responsibility. If OP pressured the wife into pretending she didn't hit the dog, chances are at some point down the road she is going to admit to the eye witness and others that she really did hit the dog, and attribute her earlier denials to pressure from her cowardly and dishonest husband who didn't want her to take responsibility. Hysterical barking from neighbor's dogs can usually be greatly reduced once they see you interacting with the owner. I suspect that the neighbor's dogs are doing more barking than biting, that the the dog's "viciousness" is being exaggerated, and that the OP still has a few things to learn about fitting into his community.

No compensation, but a show of contrition is in order. Eye witness is going to be believed over wife's denials. OP is ignoring reputational damage and long-term relations with neighbor. Some of these guys, who by Western standards are irresponsible pet owners develop surprising bonds with their dogs, even though there's next to no outward demonstrations of affection. You don't want your next door neighbor harboring a grudge. Just go over with the wife and apologize. If you're pretty sure the dog's not going to keel over from internal bleeding any minute now, offer to pay 100 baht towards a checkup at local vet, just as a goodwill gesture.

Should be pursued as a criminal not civil case.

The Thai Rath article said she sells BETWEEN 2,000 and 3,000 sausage balls a day, grossing between 4-5,000 baht per day. The Thai Rath article also says it typically only takes her 3 hours for her to completely sell out, and she does this from a mobile cart. Not to rain on this feel good story or anything...but the above numbers just don't add up. If she's selling between 2,000 and 3,000 sausage balls at 7 balls for 10 baht she would be grossing between 2,857 and 4,285 baht per day, less than the 4,000 and 5,000 baht per day stated in the story. If she is claiming that demand is so high that it only takes her 3 hours to completely sell out, that would mean she is selling between 666 and 1,000 sausage balls per hour over the 3 hour stretch. The hibachi grill pictured in the story looks like it has a maximum capacity of 100 to 200 sausage balls. My observation has always been that thoroughly cooking those sausage balls takes around 30 minutes. That would mean the maximum production capacity of the grill is at most 400 sausage balls per hour, not counting time needed to adjust the coals, which is far less than the 666 to 1,000 stated in the story. Also, even if she really was selling 666 to 1,000 sausage balls per hour, to do so would mean even if every order was for 20 balls per order she is handling 33 to 50 orders per hour, (one every 1-2 minutes) which, considering the attention the grill requires, I don't think is humanly possible. I've never seen a mobile hibachi vendor handle the kind of activity claimed in the article. Have you?

I understand your frustration, and those weeds you sent a photo of are particularly annoying because of how fast they grow, however I would recommend using a weed whacker or lawn mower to manage them, as spraying glyphosate (or some derivative of it) is a lazy, inefficient, and highly un-ecological solution to your problem. I almost never use weed killer on my property which is several rai. In the summer months weed growth is pretty subdued, so you don't have to constantly be cutting grass. In the wet season you have to cut more often (and rake and compost all the clippings), but the peace of mind that comes from not using weed killers around the house shouldn't be discounted. If you really want to eliminate the problem, maybe pave it over with cement (which, comes with its own maintenance problems. Covering the area with gravel will definitely not work as the weeds will grow through the gravel in no time, and the gravel will make it tricky to cut the grass in the future. Bottom line: you're in the tropics, weeds and unwanted grasses come with the territory.

He expanded our emotional vocabulary through music, and provided the soundtrack to the lives of so many. What a tremendous talent. I salute you. One of my favorite versions of 'Walk on By': 'God Give Me Strength' from the sublime Painted from Memory' collaboration with Elvis Costello: He had a beautiful and very expressive singing voice as well:

He's making himself useful helping out with household chores, collecting recyclables, and bagging leaves for compost, but what happens when he's no longer able to contribute labor? Chertsak's parents must be wondering if Willie's going to be a drain on family resources down the road, perhaps reducing the quality of care they'll receive in their golden years. Even though he and his extended family seem to be living a hardscrabble existence, I'm wondering if Willie doesn't have some back up financial resources which he could draw upon in a pinch. Assuming he's on a retirement visa, maybe 800K in the bank. Or maybe some kind of pension in Belgium? But, no doubt, a foreigner leading a ragpicker lifestyle in Thailand is going to trigger a lot of, mostly unwelcome, interest. I can't imagine that as soon as immigration gets wind of this story they won't be paying him a home visit, that is, if they can find his house. Yeah, hands down, he should take home the Captain Kurtz trophy for total cultural immersion, but it's undeniable that he's leading a very precarious lifestyle. Maybe he can hop on a plane back to Belgium tomorrow and has ample assets back home, but not much outward evidence of a Plan B. Concerns about his present and future welfare are more than warranted.

I am trying to use a Huawei aircard modem with my new i-mac without success. This modem works fine on my 10 year old imac. Photo of Huawei aircard modem (front and back): Because the new computer does not allow a USB device to be plugged directly into the computer, I had to buy the below USB-C multifunctional adapter (front and back of box): Specifications of new computer: The message I get when I hook the Huawei modem to the new i-mac using the Ugreen multifunctional adapter is: Can anybody recommend a solution to this problem? I can't find anything on line specific to this problem, and the Apple reseller I bought the computer from is completely unable to provide any technical support. Is an updated aircard modem the solution? If so, can anyone specify a specific make and model? Could the problem be that the aircard modem isn't compatible with the UGreen multifunctional adapter? (I noticed that on the back of the UGreen box, the adapter I was sold seems to be designed for Apple laptops and i-macs aren't specifically mentioned as being compatible with the UGreen device.) If the adapter is the problem, can anyone recommend another brand of adapter which would work? I am aware of 3BB and other fiber optic options to connect to the internet, but there are logistical reasons which would make a fiber optic connection difficult, so I would really like to see if I can connect to the internet using an aircard modem. Any suggestions or solutions would be gratefully appreciated. Thanks.

I wasn't talking about the kind of chewing up and spitting out where you're escorted off the premises.

I hope you get over your disappointment, Bob, really I do, but what you should be asking yourself is how many of those criteria apply to you. My impression is that you may be in danger of being chewed up and spit out by Thailand down the road. Just a word of advice from the river watcher.

I think my post categorizing Thai male bashers hit the target squarely on the nose. The few peripheral potshots and personal attacks it elicited only served to bolster my confidence that it was on the money. These assessments were made after careful and long term observation of who is behind the Thai bashing on the forum. No, I don't have spreadsheets and statistics, but these observations weren't made casually or pulled out of a hat on the spur of the moment either. Insights into how these conclusions were reached are shared below: The profile of the Thai male basher: 1. Can't speak Thai (98%) A large number of the people who engage in this activity have indicated at one time or another that their Thai language skills are at best very rudimentary. Another huge reason for reaching this conclusion is the knowledge that obtaining a high degree of proficiency in Thai requires such an enormous investment of time and effort (I estimate 8,000 hours) that every resource available to acquire that high degree of proficiency would have to be marshaled.. No one trying to reach that level of proficiency could afford the luxury of avoiding Thai male speakers, and having made this investment in time and effort, no one could afford to avoid Thai males because they are too valuable a resource to help maintain their level of proficiency. Finally, anyone who had reached a high level of proficiency in Thai would have had ample opportunity to recognize the humanity, character and personality of Thai males, making their demonization and dehumanization next to impossible. 2. Red-light district oriented (75%) A large part of this comes from observing where the Thai male bashers are geographically located. Pattaya is definitely an epicenter for this activity. The "I only talk to Thai women" mentality is only sustainable in a red-light district one-night stand environment. As soon as you get out of that setting it's next to impossible to avoid interacting with Thai males because any Thai significant other you have is going to have interaction with Thai males, be it family, friends, neighbors, co-workers, etc. 3. Racist (99%) There is a very high correlation between posters making negative comments about Thai males and racist posts about Indians, Chinese, Arabs, non-white politicians in the West, hostility to BLM, hostility to non-white immigration to home countries, etc. Almost a 100% correlation. 4. Socially isolated (89%) Quite a number of the most vociferous Thai male bashers also have extremely high post counts and average posts/day which is telling me that they are spending an inordinate amounts of time in solitary activities. Also, anyone who has such a deep-seated hostility towards half the Thai population is not likely to have much of a social life here in Thailand. 5. Substance abuser (70%) You can get a pretty good idea of who is posting while inebriated. Many posters openly admit to it. Super high post counts, becoming overly animated, and having an exaggerated opinion of one's wittiness or humorousness are further signs of this. This posting behavior is frequently observed in posters who engage in Thai male bashing. 6. Working class employment and educational background (99%) Deduced from background information shared over time, the quality of posts, grammatical skills, etc. Do ASEANNOW's best and brightest posters engage in Thai bashing or wallow in other forms of grievance politics? No, they do not. Finally, if you use Jared Diamond's broad definition of intelligence as "the ability to extract benefit from one's environment," anybody who limits the potential resources available to them based on arbitrary criteria such as race or religion or gender, in my opinion, is by definition not as smart as they would otherwise be. 7. Suffering from age-related health problems (90%) Largely based on average age of forum members, anecdotal disclosure, suspected sedentary lifestyle, anecdotal disclosures about diet, alcohol and tobacco consumption.

It was heartening to read your post. Figuring out how to make social inroads in a village isn't easy or something that happens overnight and I can tell you have put in a great deal of thought and effort. Wishing you continued success on your journey.

Police announced today that the investigation into Mr. Thanatat Chankae's death has been closed. The conclusion reached was that he committed suicide. Cause of death was a tracheal burn leading to suffocation. The autopsy did not reveal any signs that he had been attacked and it is believed that he poured the gasoline on himself in a sitting position. The deceased had a long history of depression, which included a psychotic episode while using narcotics. Finally, the police concluded that there were family tensions between he and his wife and other family members over jealousy, money, and the deceased's mental health which may have played a role in his decision to take his life. https://www.thaipost.net/district-news/252061/ Edit: I just saw that this was already reported on another thread.

Totally agree. Myself included. Question is whether you have explore beyond what may have initially attracted you to Thailand. Those who don't are the ones who become bitter and twisted.

The profile of the Thai male basher: 1. Can't speak Thai (98%) 2. Red-light district oriented (75%) 3. Racist (99%) 4. Socially isolated (89%) 5. Substance abuser (70%) 6. Working class employment and educational background (99%) 7. Suffering from age-related health problems (90%) Essentially we're talking about guys who are bitter because the bar scene is no longer a viable or attractive lifestyle either due to age-related loss of libido or lack of interest from bar girls. Financial pressures also make maintaining this lifestyle increasingly difficult, and limit options, including repatriation, to adjust to these changing realities. If it wasn't for these constraints, the percentage of Thai-bashers who were red-light district oriented would be much higher. They turn to booze and other substances to try to cope but this only isolates them further, intensifying the cycle of bitterness. By telling themselves that Thai men are unworthy and inadequate providers, Thai male bashers also seek to rationalize and justify the monger lifestyle which they know is exploitative and soul-destroying. I consider this group of people, who are sadly over-represented on this forum, to be the absolute dregs of the ex-pat community.

Come on. If those sweeping generalizations you made were true, how could they not be equally true for Thai women? You said there was "too big a cultural and educational gap," they are "too different, think too differently" and "relationships will always be skin deep and superficial." The fact that there may be a sexual relationship with a woman that isn't there in a relationship with a Thai man, doesn't make the obstacles you cited go away. You may now claim you never said it wasn't true of Thai female relationships, but there are tons of posters on this forum happily bashing Thai males for the same reasons you cited above who claim to be in perfectly copacetic relationships with Thai women. Something's not adding up.

You keep agreeing with all the Thai bashers, so I'm a little uncertain whether you genuinely want insights is or if you're dreaming up thread topics to help while away the hours, but I'll give you the benefit of the doubt for the moment. Thai men are neither coddled prima donnas nor suffer from a collective inferiority complex. What they do feel is resentment about the unfair competitive financial advantage that many foreign men enjoy, and the arrogance and dismissive attitude which many foreign men exude towards Thai men. Rightfully so, as you'd be resentful as well. In fact, compared to white men's possessive attitude towards non-white men becoming sexually involved with white women, Thai men are downright welcoming towards foreign men's cathousing in Thailand. They are also probably somewhat confused on some level about why Thai women are so sought after by foreign men while Thai men seem to enjoy far less romantic interest from foreign women. They are also probably shy and hesitant about making social overtures towards foreign men because of a lack of self-confidence with their English language skills. But with that said, many, many Thai men are affable, approachable, have great senses of humor, and have much to offer in terms of knowledge, life experience and insights into Thai culture. They are often keenly observant and highly intuitive. They can tell a lot about what you're thinking just by looking in your eyes. They are not stupid and are good judge's of character. Foreign men who act like they're god's gift to Thai women or who give off vibes that Thai men are scum are obviously not going to quickly be befriended. They can see through a phony smile in a heartbeat, and if you think you can spend all day bashing Thai men on social media and that won't bleed into your demeanor when you encounter a Thai male in real life, you're kidding yourself. That condescending attitude is easily sensed just by looking in your eyes, and at the curve of your mouth. In general, the Western model for male-male friendship doesn't work here. For the most part, the exalted Western model for male-male friendship is a fantasy anyway, filled with fake commitments typically followed by disappointment, betrayal, and backstabbing. The Thai male-male model is a far more pragmatic, sensible, honest, and truer to human nature than the nonsensical friendship ideals we were all fed back home. Thai men essentially bond over shared common experiences and interests. The "blood brother" "I'd take a bullet for you/donate a kidney for you" BS that very few people truly ever experience back home isn't even aspired to here. That goes for Thai male friendships with other Thai males as well. It's all about shared common experiences and interests built up over time. Period. Nobody is looking to share dreams and darkest secrets, or intimate details about your medical history or sex life. The Thai friendship model is absolutely more honest, and generally speaking you have a better idea of where you stand. The Western model for male friendship - which in many ways is a facade - needs to be thrown out the window. It's all about finding common interests. That's it. And because you are in their country, you have to make more of an effort to find those common interests, if only because they may not really have a very good conceptualization of what interests you may have. I can't speak for an urban setting, but in a rural setting that means having some kind of interest in the land because that's ultimately what everyone's life centers around. Farming, gardening, food, sports, repairing, construction, health issues, diet, etc are they types of common interests I have managed to develop with the people in my moo ban. Thai language skills are critically important not just to communicate, but to gain insights into the culture and to show cultural interest and respect. If your Thai is rudimentary it's probably going to be tough. Humbleness can't faked. Smiling and having an affable nature - something I'll be the first to admit I need to work on myself - are very important. Convey a measure of concern and interest in those around you. That includes helping those in need from time to time and showing a willingness to pitch in. That doesn't mean you have to be constantly giving people handouts or be trying to buy people's friendship. That's not going to work. It's very important to get on the same circadian cycle as those around you. Again, having a connection to the land not only builds common interest, but shows respect and a shared work ethic. You do not want to be perceived as lolling around in a hammock all day while everyone around you is slaving in the midday sun. You don't have to feign an interest in going to the temple on holy days, or pretend you're interested in cock fighting, or to be buying round after round at the local drinking circle if these things do not interest you. It's simply a matter of being yourself, finding common interests, and building up mutual respect and camaraderie over time. And the final advice I would offer is to make your friendship with the Thai male your focus, as opposed to quickly shifting your friendship focus to his girlfriend or wife. It is my observation that Thais don't do "couples" that much, certainly not out in the countryside. Men have men friends, and women have women friends. Maybe urban more westernized couples do couples activities, but my sense is that even though you might see this on TV shows and commercials, I'm skeptical how much of this really goes on. I'm not saying Thai couples never interact as couples, but you as a foreign man, will encounter considerable leariness from the Thai male if you start getting overly friendly with his girlfriend or wife, especially if you shift focus right off the bat.

One poster repeated hackneyed cliche that Thai men are raised as prima donnas and another said they suffer from inferiority complexes. Neither of these statements reflect sound insight into the Thai male's psychology.

Absolutely mystified how you can make such a sweeping generalization about Thai men and at the same time think it is more than feasible to have a meaningful relationship with a Thai woman. Your statement, if true, - which it's not- would be equally applicable to Thai women.

Looks like Pattaya's image is transitioning from "a good place to get laid" to "a good place to get high."

Your nearest house of worship. We are in the age of atonement and penance. The idea of going somewhere to "find yourself" when there is so much suffering in the world is self-indulgent. Not to mention ecologically unsustainable.

Everyone is born curious so the question that has always interested me is why some people lose their curiosity. I think it's for several main reasons: (1) fear of failure; (2) fear of what they may find, and (3) fear of what others may think about them for having an interest in a given subject. People worry about what will happen if they don't succeed in learning what they are curious or interested in. If they find they are unable to learn a subject they fear this may damage their self-esteem further. There are many taboo subjects that are very scary for people to explore, i.e., human sexuality, psychology, and criminality, etc. People are also inhibited by what others will think about them for having an interest in a topic. This is a biggie. Examples are boys wanting to be pastry chefs and girls wanting to be car mechanics. When you become overly focused on what others think and become lost in comparing yourself to others this activity can become so preoccupying and all-consuming that you simply lack the time and energy to explore new things. One of the most liberating moments of my life came when I was checking out a book at my local library, and the librarian cocked an eyebrow when she saw the title. I felt self-conscious as I walked home until it occurred to me that if someone thought it was weird that I wanted to read a book, what about the person who wrote the book? Go have a talk with them and leave me alone, and ever since then I've ignored anyone trying to make me feel weird about being interested in something. My deathbed message to the world would be to never let anyone tell you you shouldn't be interested in something.