Chopper

JJ, I have just sent you a private message.

Before you ask: I am not an agent.

Thanks everyone much appreciated responses.

I have a 6 year old HP Photosmart, fax, copier, printer, scanner that is not working correctly. Some functions work others don't. Does anyone know if there is a service center in Pattaya?

I know most of the other service center's but have not seen one for HP.

I have already tried thumping the machine with a hammer but this still seems not to do the trick...

I am not a fan of all things American,

So what do you ride Spartacus ?

Baht Buses ?

Not GM...

Wouldn't that be a great way to leave your last post on Thaivisa.

It would be the best unanswered post of the year.

Talk about bringing the conspiracy theorists out in droves.

If everything is OK Alex let them all stew for a while unless you have unfortunately been chopped up and made part of someone’s stew!

King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighbouring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him but was moved by Arthur's youth and ideals. So, the monarch offered him his freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer and, if after a year, he still had no answer; he would be put to death.

The question? What do women really want? Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man, and to young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query. But, since it was better than death, he accepted the monarch's proposition to have an answer by year's end.

He returned to his kingdom and began to poll everyone: the princess, the priests, the wise men and even the court jester. He spoke with every one, but no one could give him a satisfactory answer.

Many people advised him to consult the old witch, for only she would have the answer.

But the price would be high; as the witch was famous throughout the kingdom for the exorbitant prices she charged.

The last day of the year arrived and Arthur had no choice but to talk to the witch. She agreed to answer the question, but he would have to agree to her price first.

The old witch wanted to marry Sir Lancelot, the most noble of the Knights of the Round Table and Arthur's closest friend!

Young Arthur was horrified. She was hunchbacked and hideous, had only one tooth, smelled like sewage, made obscene noises, etc He had never encountered such a repugnant creature in all his life.

He refused to force his friend to marry her and endure such a terrible burden; but Lancelot, learning of the proposal, spoke with Arthur.

He said nothing was too big of a sacrifice compared to Arthur's life and the preservation of the Round Table.

Hence, a wedding was proclaimed and the witch answered Arthur's question thus:

What a woman really wants, she answered ... is to be in charge of her own life.

Everyone in the kingdom instantly knew that the witch had uttered a great truth and that Arthur's life would be spared.

And so it was, the neighbouring monarch granted Arthur his freedom and Lancelot and the witch had a wonderful wedding.

The honeymoon hour approached and Lancelot, steeling himself for a horrific experience, entered the bedroom. But, what a sight awaited him. The most beautiful woman he had ever seen lay before him on the bed The astounded Lancelot asked what had happened.

The beauty replied that since he had been so kind to her when she appeared as a witch, she would henceforth, be her horrible deformed self only half the time and the beautiful maiden the other half.

Which would he prefer? Beautiful during the day ... or night?

Lancelot pondered the predicament. During the day, a beautiful woman to show off to his friends, but at night, in the privacy of his castle, an old witch? Or, would he prefer having a hideous witch during the day, but by night, a beautiful woman for him to enjoy wondrous intimate moments?

What would YOU do?

What Lancelot chose is below. BUT.... make YOUR choice before you scroll down below. OKAY?

Noble Lancelot said that he would allow HER to make the choice herself.

Upon hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all the time because he had respected her enough to let her be in charge of her own life.

Now ... what is the moral to this story?

Scroll down

The moral is ...

If you don't let a woman have her own way ...

Things are going to get ugly!

If you fancy a trip to Bangkok he is playing at Impact Arena on Saturday June 20th.

You can book tickets through ThaiTicketMajor.

Maybe she was taking lessons from Bernie Madoff.

I'm also a 21 year old female in Pattaya just like you

Meg watch your profile count rocket now. I must confess to having a peep...

Star Beach ,and Park Beach Wongamat ,Nakula . Two older posh ,unique style Condominiums with huge balcony's .Direct access to the beach plus huge swimming pools .

Having looked at most of the condos in Wongamat I would say that Saranchol rates better than the above two if you are looking at the older style, circa 15 years old. IMHO.

England footballer Joe Cole is at the centre of a bitter property row after a luxury apartment complex he promoted was NEVER even built.

And furious investors, who ploughed more than £1million into Thailand's Hua Hin Country Club on hearing Cole was to be its first celebrity resident, are now demanding their money back.

Rest if the article from the Daily Mirror is here.

Thanks all, great info.

Not wishing to hijack the thread but I need to acquire a set of drums that will be donated to a local charity so am equally interested in any responses.

Drum set can be second hand.

Tom can you give more specific direction as to location of shop near Big C in Pattaya Nua. Will check out Thepprasit as well.

no charity work,no over friendliness to <deleted> tourists,help other members , go out have fun......only beat up people when they deserve it,

Rob, hilarious post

I think some are taking your words to seriously.

BTW: Can I PM you a list of candidates to put on your roster to beat up. It would be considered an act of charity in their case which goes against your proposed charter but charity work is good and rewarding...

Is anyone able to provide any links to this in the Thai Newspapers?

Hilarious.

No doubt an acting in a movie or soap?

1. A man dashes into the A & E dept. and yells . . ..

'My wife's going to have her baby in the taxi' I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the taxi, lifted the lady's dress and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly after protests from the lady I noticed that there were several taxi's - - - and I was in the wrong one.

Submitted by Dr. Mark MacDonald, St. Andrews Hosp. Glasgow.

2. At the beginning of my shift, I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall. 'Big breaths,' . . . I instructed. 'Yes, they used to be,'. . . replied the patient.

Submitted by Dr. Richard Barnes, St.Thomas's Bath

3. One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct. Not more than five minutes later, I heard her on her mobile phone reporting to the rest of the family that he had died of a 'massive internal fart.'

Submitted by Dr. Susan Steinberg Royal London Hosp.

4. During a patient's two week follow-up appointment, he told me that he was having trouble with one of his medications.

'Which one ?'. . .. I asked.

'The patch; the Nurse told me to put on a new one every six hours and now I'm running out of places to put it !'

I had him quickly undress and discovered what I hoped I wouldn't see. Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his body! Now, the instructions include removal of the old patch before applying a new one.

Submitted by Dr. Rebecca St. Clair, Norfolk General..

5. While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked 'How long have you been bedridden?'

After a look of complete confusion she answered . . .'Why, not for about twenty years - when my husband was still alive.'

Submitted by Dr. Steven Swanson- Maidenhead Royal Kent

6. I was performing rounds at the hospital one morning and while checking up on a man I asked . . .' So how was your breakfast this morning?'

'It's very good except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can't seem to get used to the taste.'. . Bob replied.

I then asked to see the jelly and Bob produced a foil packet labelled 'KY Jelly.'

Submitted by Dr. Leonard J. Brandon. Bristol Infirmary.

7. A nurse was on duty in the A & E when a young woman with purple hair styled into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety of tattoos, and wearing strange clothing, entered . . . It was quickly determined that the patient had acute appendicitis, so she was scheduled for an immediate operation... When she was completely disrobed on the operating table, the staff noticed that her pubic hair had been dyed green, and above it there was a tattoo that read . . .'Keep off the grass.'

Once the surgery was completed, the surgeon wrote a short note on the patient's dressing, whi ch said 'Sorry . . . had to mow the lawn.'

Submitted by Staff Nurse RN Elaine Fogerty, KGH London ..

Dr. wouldn't submit his name

I know of a certain bloke that appropriates towels from both the swimming pool and rooms, dressing gowns, boxes of tissues, notepads and pens/pencils as well as all of the toiletries.

If it is not nailed down…

Monty do the maids not check the room when the customer checks out. Surely they would notice a missing DVD player?

Missing remotes must be very frustrating!

Asianrider, given your moniker you to...

Very funny, very innovative and very good outcome.

Correct. What about Due process though?

There is a principle that was not observed, innocent until proven guilty.

I am not disagreeing with the content of your post per say but in Thailand I think in a court of law (oxymoron I know) you are guilty until proven innocent.

Don't know how the above ended up on this thread. Thought I was replying to the Ko Larn Island thread...