richard_smith237

A lot of opinions on here with little fact....

If I was to be married in England I wouldn't expect to pay sin-sod to the family of my Thai wife ... But I married in Thailand so I followed tradition - (clarifier > the amounts my Thai friends paid for a woman of similar social standing, similar amounts to that of which her cousins family received) We discussed the appropriate amount given her education and status without any ridiculous inflation or showing off...

In short - Sinsod returned and all moneys received at the wedding were ours.

In our case, Sinsod is / was a respected gesture and done simply becuase everyone else does it...

>>> Want to question tradition ??? Why do we wear wedding rings ?? why do western girls wear white wedding dresses that cost $1000's ??.... lets question our own traditions and put those others into perspective before we pass judgement <<<

A lot of opinions on here with little fact....

If I was to be married in England I wouldn't expect to pay sin-sod to the family of my Thai wife ... But I married in Thailand so I followed tradition - (clarifier > the amounts my Thai friends paid for a woman of similar social standing, similar amounts to that of which her cousins family received) We discussed the appropriate amount given her education and status without any ridiculous inflation or showing off...

In short - Sinsod returned and all moneys received at the wedding were ours.

In our case, Sinsod is / was a respected gesture and done simply becuase everyone else does it...

>>> Want to question tradition ??? Why do we wear wedding rings ?? why do western girls wear white wedding dresses that cost $1000's ??.... lets question our own traditions and put those others into perspective before we pass judgement <<<

A lot of opinions on here with little fact....

If I was to be married in England I wouldn't expect to pay sin-sod to the family of my Thai wife ... But I married in Thailand so I followed tradition - (clarifier > the amounts my Thai friends paid for a woman of similar social standing, similar amounts to that of which her cousins family received) We discussed the appropriate amount given her education and status without any ridiculous inflation or showing off...

In short - Sinsod returned and all moneys received at the wedding were ours.

In our case, Sinsod is / was a respected gesture and done simply becuase everyone else does it...

>>> Want to question tradition ??? Why do we wear wedding rings ?? why do western girls wear white wedding dresses that cost $1000's ??.... lets question our own traditions and put those others into perspective before we pass judgement <<<

Good thread... good question.. and a PC landmine....

I guess money helps.. But the character of 'the' individual helps more (or less)....

I don't imagine I was my Father In Law's first choice for his daughter, but in his case I doubt there would be any first choice.

He (FIL), was a rather hard nut to crack, and with time (a couple of years) he surprised everyone and now seems proud of his Son in Law and Daughter.

FIL has had to take some flak for his daughter marrying a westerner so I am very respectful and understanding of his situation (*1), but, the reality is, IF I as a father can not accept my daughters choice, then I stand to lose her - that I will not chance (But I'm only just Married so we have another 25 or so years or so to worry about that one)

>>> I don't want a daughter !!!!!

(*1) - The only westerners my FIL has ever seen in Thailand is while being driven down Sukhumvit rd, my then GF (now my wife) told me his question at the time was "why do westerners have to parade the ugliest girls up and down the busiest streets?" !!!!! - Try and break down that barrier !

It's not a big deal to me... But it seems like its a big deal to other Thai's who I meet for the first time...

i.e.

The common conversation in a Taxi goes like this...

Thailand girls pretty no ? you have Thai wife ? is she from Isaan ?

When I respond no, she is from Bangkok. They then ask if she is Thai/chinese...

As I see it, Thai's from all levels of Society wrongly or rightly hold Chinese origins higher esteem than Isaan origins - So for many I guess saying Chinese or Thai / Chinese is simply a more polite way of pointing out that their wife / girlfriend is not from Isaan which then has other connotations...

For example... how many times on this forum have we read: 'my wife is from Isaan and has a good job / not a bar girl'. Do we ever read 'my wife is Thai / Chinese but not a bar girl' ? - With the Thai / Chinese comment there seems less need for a further clarifier as to her character.

This whole idea is ridiculous - however a quick trip to Pattaya helps us understand why this situation exists.

Hmmmm....

I don't know about condemning the OP. He has a non-working live-in whose marketable skills are nothing that can be listed on a resume. She is living rent free, eating regularly and I presume she has free and ready access to TV and clean water. In addition she gets 5k baht per month to do with as she feels.

After 18 months, he decides to test her by withholding her monthly stipend and she cuts off affection. I would think that after 18 months together the woman would have more than 5k/month feelings towards him.

Sometimes when I read stories like this, it really makes me wonder if all these live-ins are just there for the money or is affection really there. Has it come to the point that the girls are merely employees expected to do what the boss tells them? Or is it just an offshoot of the nightlife where instead of a daily (or shorter) stipend the girls are on the payroll on a monthly basis.

TheWalkingMan

It seems to me that she is an employee. In my work, if I stop getting paid I stop doing the job.

IMO: This is simply a business agreement from the girls point of view, and quite rightly the Op has recognised this. Although why he thought he could successfully pursue a relationship which commenced with a monetary agreement is beyond me. As nice as the lady in question may be she is simply paid to be there.

Any relationship which starts with financial agreement is highly questionable - There really isn't much grey area.

Voted Thai / Chinese....

Both sets of Grandparents emigrated from China, both parents born in Thailand - What does that make my wife ?

Given the list the most suitable place would seem to be Pattong in Phuket, Or, with your own transport, anywhere on Phuket Island.

I'm not sure its Racism and I call it 'groupism' because as a group each individual race and even nationality are often boxed / categorized and tarred by the same brush as the lowest common denominator...

We are often judged at the lower level of those who have passed before us.

Errrm. I think that you have just given the definition of racism Richard, you have just re-named it.

Yep, Ok, reading back through my points I see what you mean. However, the type of 'groupism' I'm referring to occurs between football teams, Mod's vs rockers, sporties vs nerds etc etc... colour is not part of it.

In society it seems to me that people with certain traits will group together and find something they dislike about another group displaying other traits. These traits can be physical; Colour / Ethnicity - Racism, but in Thailand being singled out by race often has advantages, hence my suggestion that in Thailand I don't think its Racism when dealing specifically with foreigners, its more to do with simply 'not being Thai' which puts us in either a positive or negative light, depending on the situation.

Point in hand. After a car accident a few years ago where I was turning right and a car tried to over take me and struck me. The policeman believed me that I was indicating simply because I am British and we have a higher standard of driving and driving education. But on the same day I may have been charged more at the market simply because I am not Thai.

So, IMO because its so hit and miss, I don't feel that I am ever at a disadvantage here because of my skin colour and I don't feel that others are either. However, I do think that it may be easy for some non-Thai's to play the race card because they have not tried to look any deeper.

I just saw an invite on Facebook to join the group... 'England's Full so F$%K off' - That doesn't represent my thoughts or many of my friends, nonetheless I feel that should be dealt with.

Racism in Thailand - Yes, I agree it exists in some form or other.

However, is it not 'groupism' - In that we as 'non Thai's' can be easily identified as such and boxed into a different category.

Sometimes this boxing or categorization works for us, sometimes it works against us.

I'm not sure its Racism and I call it 'groupism' because as a group each individual race and even nationality are often boxed / categorized and tarred by the same brush as the lowest common denominator...

We are often judged at the lower level of those who have passed before us.

SO... With this in mind, I'm not sure what there is to stop.

It appears as though you have been suffering some ruptured / herniated discs.

These discs are the cushioning between your vertebrae. The herniated disks appear to have bulged out and could be pressing against your spinal cord causing some nerve interference.

Solutions are:

1) Be very careful and reduce your activities that could cause stress or strain on your body.

In Extreme cases:

2) Fusing your vertebrae together. This removes movement between the damaged vertebrae.

3) Disc replacement - Less successful and perhaps still in its experimental stages.

Shame. I was looking forwards to a game today...I Even purchased so new trainers after the soles came off mine last week. Thanks for the loan of your spare trainers Chris.

I didn't realize it had been that long since I did any exercise !!!

I've been hurting all week, but it was good to do something...

Count me in for Sunday 7th...

Simply call your insurance agent they will deal with everything. Make sure you have the correct documents, insurance, license etc

Insurance premiums here have no excess, so theoretically an accident here costs you nothing other than your yearly premium not decreasing with no claims bonus.

I don't know of any westerner here who has been involved in an accident and been treated unfairly... Or more to the point, treated any differently than a Thai person.

Some westerners cry foul who don't understand how things are dealt with here...

I for one would never run. The morality of helping someone who is hurt is outweighs any negative possibilities.

GIT (Gemology Institute of Thailand)

http://www.git.or.th/index_en.html

The immigration officers both, inbound and outbound are some of the most ignorant / arrogant people in any airport I have been to in the world. They never speak, never smile and just think their sh1t doesn't stink. All they tend to do is use that horrible downward hand motion as if calling a dog.

I have always said to then hello, or sawatdee to them as I enter the booth, NOT one has ever acknowledged me with a reply or even a smile MISERABLE B4STARDS. Welcome to LOS, my ar5e, (land of snarls)

In all airports around the world, the immigration officers always speak even to ask you a question or two and normally say something along the lines of Welcome to "country" enjoy your stay. Jesus even in the UK on my return, I have even heard the immigration officers say welcome home on my return.

"Mind you the Ozzie's could do with a dose of politeness at the their airports "

TB

so true . the times when you would really like to tell those Immigration Illmannered nobodies what you think of them , either entering thecountry or exiting but for obvious reasons you dont, It's like the feeling of you would get no justice from any uniformed l**ky here.

I know its not an excuse for the immigration officers but I have often thought that their job must be completely crap, they work for the government so they obviously are going to be paid peanuts and then you end up with peanut eaters with a boring job no wonder theyre pissed off. Not an excuse for them- perhaps they should have worked harder at school and got a better job but just an observation of why they are not amongst the world's happiest bunnies.

This is my pet peeve about arrival in or departure from Thailand... ignorant immigration officials who think their 'sh1t don't stink' (to quote landofthefree)

Immigration in neighboring countries get paid pretty poorly too I imagine... I don't think its a viable excuse "I get paid like crap so I'll be rude and ignorant"...

This behavior maybe endemic of low pay and positions of relative power and the posturing this produces....

Saying that - there are a few gems who are polite and give a reasonable welcome... 1 in 8 I'd say...

Other than that... I think as airports go, its good, not great, but certainly not as bad as some would have us believe.

I gotta catch a flight Forethat but I'll come back on that later. I will just say what you call opinion another calls fact. Social norms and morality is not math. Especially when it comes to gender rolls.

Oh and BTW, when I was grabbing girls in Pattaya and Nana I would have basked in the lime light should a camera had come along like you mentioned. I was single young and having fun. And as far as I was concerned I never paid them to stay, nope because anyone can have a normal girlfriend here. No, I was paying them to LEAVE afterwords and not stick around like any normal woman would in a regular relationship. Because I wasn't ready for marriage.

Nothing against em, just put things back were ya found them I say.

Didn't Charlie Sheen say that ????

But more to the point - Were they having sex with you because they 'leally leally riked you makmak'... Or because you agreed before hand that you were going to 'Pay them to leave' ???

Then again, I know what you mean... back in my Uni days I had one nighter's with women and couldn't get rid of them quickly enough... I'd prefer to stay over at theirs so I could make a sharp exit. I think though, that if I'd have offered to pay them to leave in the morning I'd be singing soprano by now....

Pathetic bunch of complaints.....

I'd guess that the same people who are complaining about the 'warning' would also be the same people to complain if something happened and there were no such warnings...

From the British Embassy: "The political situation in Thailand is tense and uncertain. British citizens should exercise great caution throughout Thailand and avoid demonstrations or large gatherings of people that might turn violent. It is likely that there will be mass protests by anti-government demonstrators in and around Bangkok. A court decision due on 26 February 2010 is a potential flashpoint. If, as is quite possible, anti-government protests turn violent, British citizens should stay indoors and monitor the media and this website. "

I'll reserve judgement until after the weekend and then use my 20/20 hindsight and decide whether or not that this warning was necessary.

Regardless, it can never hurt to use your own intelligence, gather your own information and heed the warnings of our Embassies and Thai Visa and 'Be extra careful' around this time.

Do you 'Complainers' also moan about other warnings regarding your safety ?

Ex GF1: Met in Khao Sarn Rd - In a Bar (She was a Bkk Uni Int'l Student - 2 years younger than I)

Ex GF2: Met Online (ICQ - She was AIA sales - 2 yrs Older than I)

EX GF3: Met in a Club (MOS - Interior Designer - 4 years younger than I)

Ex GF4: Friend of Ex GF 2 (Worked as Air traffic Control at BKK Don Muang - 1 year Older than I)

EX GF5: Met in a Bar when out with Friends, Overlapping friendship groups (Flight Attendant - 4 years younger than I)

EX GF6: Met in a Bar when out with Friends, (Flight Attendant - 3 years younger than I)

Wife: Met in a Club while celebrating a friends B'day (she is best friends with my friends wife - Owns and Runs her own company - 3 years younger than I)

A bar or a club is one of the more natural places to meet someone... It just depends what the bar is like and the type of girls / men who go there......

Edit: ages and what my GF's did for a career have been added as I feel that the age gap and what the lady does for a living represents that where we met was a place for similar age-socio-economic to socialize.

Its a lot cheaper in the UK.

A bottle of Moet was about B1950 (about 8-9-months ago), thats about £38 for a standard 75cc bottle.

I remember paying £30 for a bottle in All Bar One in Leicester square in London.

So, while I'm not sure of the prices in the UK Duty free or Off license... it has to be cheaper.. I'm guessing about half price.

As its a present and it has to be Champagne then fair enough, however, for other times Villa Supermarkets out here sell a very drinkable Prosecco for about B560 (£11) which is a great alternative especially when eating some of the spicier food out here which would destroy the taste of a good Champagne.

Same thing happened to me at Emporium a few years ago.

I waited by my car while the shop called out his number plate. It took him an hour to turn up.

It is my guess that he heard his plate number but didn't give two hoots.

He made no attempt to apologize before getting in his car while I waited by mine.

As he closed his door, I put my hand out to stop him and asked him why he couldn't even apologize for inconveniencing me for over an hour.

All I received was a shrug... as infuriating as it was he only got called a few expletives...

I would love to know what makes these people tick to really teach them a lesson for their self-centeredness and deliberate ignorance.

IDEA... If this happens, Nails on the floor in front of their car... So as they move away to clear the space, their tyre deflates !

Myself

Dred

Chris

Angus

Joshua

Joseph (if he's back in time)

Steve

James Toog

Count me in... (Tuesday 23rd - 6pm)

Ok guys, here's the round-up for playing footy this Sunday 21st at 4pm

(much thanks to all that posted their confirmations on this topic thread - makes it much easier to gather the list):

Expected for Sunday 21st:

- Damaja

- Angustan (+1?)

- Beejoir (+1)

- Groovetank (+1)

- JonnyF

- Thehabs

- Tamo

- NicFoxe

- Sure

- VespaSeeker

Maybe, but not sure:

- Aaron UK [walk-in]

- Martin DE [walk-in]

- Ronnie

- EmanuelSWE

- Chrisdino

- MegaRanter

- ChrisMoss

- WarpSpeed

As you can see, it's looking like a big resurgence this week, so should be no probs having enough people, especially as the 'maybe' list includes several people that I'm fairly sure will come, but they haven't confirmed yet. So, it's likely we'll extend to two hours to make sure everyone gets a good run-around! It'll be cheaper with more people, and the 1st hour is 600bht (split between all that come), but don't forget, the 2nd hour will be at 1200 bht, so I estimate total for the 2hrs playing will be approx 120 - 180 bht each. Look forward to seein you all there at 4!

Cheers,

Adam.

Still in the loop....

Can't make it (till):

- vid1 (28th Feb?)

- Richard_smith237 (28th Feb?) Unfortunately I can't make it this Sunday (28th)

- Luang (? -injured)

- Beechy (? -injured)

- Neutronium (? -injured)

- Bkksteviejai (?)

- Wossnext (?)

- MSingh (?)

Why would you want to take them to Hua Hin, its where the chip on the shoulder Ex Pat lives. What would you do in Hua Hin, there are not any decent girlies for your friends. There is nothing to do, if you play golf like me then yes.

Thanks for that. Well I live in Hua Hin, and they're staying with me if thats a good enough reason. My friends are a married couple by the way, and although pretty open minded, two weeks of girlie bars are not what they're here for, hence the initial question. Thanks for the other replies, the river one seems interesting, does anyone have a link for that please?

I don't know of any link for the River trip... However...

I take visitors on the same tour / trip. The pier is close to the entrance of the Grand Palace.

The quoted prices there are a rip off by the way. The sign says B900 per person, when you negotiate they offer a Thai price of B500 per person, but thats still a rip off.

I have taken a couple of friends on a 1 hr river trip at B800 per boat in Sept 09, then in Jan 10 I took my parents on the same trip for B900 (Per Boat).

It's a nice enough trip and ties in well with a trip to the Grand Palace and Khao Sarn Road.

I have also taken visitors to ChatuChak Market, Suan Lum night bazzar, Jim Thompsons house, Silom State tower, a day trip to Ayuttaya.

The Four Seasons Hotel buffet is known as one of the best in town.

A mark up from the JW Marriot I'd say. Plus free flow Verve...

Also to Sukhothai is very good, no free flow wine though.

I have a friend who's expenses are.......

Sin Sod - B400,000 (Wife from Bangkok, a Masters Graduate, Father connected (dept. Prime-Minister and various Politicians attended wedding).

Wedding Costs - B1,400,000 (everything including rings etc)

Envelope money - +/-B1,000,000 (money received from guest's)

He's not sure if he's getting sin-sod back or not (they're still on honeymoon and It's not polite to discuss the return of sin-sod before hand).

The couple have been given 1 Rai of land in Bangkok (est. Value at +/-B15 million).

I think that puts a B1,000,000 request for Sin-sod well into its perspective.... (oh... and the guy is a Westerner).

Bull dust

Then get hold of a copy of 'Thai Rath' news paper for 7th Feb.

4th page. That should be proof enough of the mixed marriage, dept prime minister etc...

Everthing mentioned was fact.... Absolutely no need to stretch the truth to make a point.

Do not limit your thinking to within your own box.....