@giddyupSorry to hear about what youre going thru.
I'm 51 but suffered a nasty clinical depression when I was 26/27. At that time the doc gave me Zoloft, an SSRI drug (Selective Seratonin Reuptake Inhibitor - whatever the fnck that means...) For me the drug worked wonders. I couldn't believe how good I started to feel - after about 8 weeks on the pills (plus intensive counseling therapy sessions).
However, there were side effects ranging from trouble sleeping to.... not being able to come! Talk about cruel. Doctor switched me to Wellbutrin but that drug induced extreme rage, so I stopped immediately and went back to Zoloft. Went off Zoloft after a few years and haven't taken it since. Mind you, I haven't fallen into clinical depression since then. My guess is antidepressant drugs have likely changed since 1997.
Depression is a strange beast. How much is precooked into our brains and how much is a result of our thinking patterns I've never been able to figure out. And our thinking patterns can be affected by grief, loss, physical ailments, a whole host of externals.
I encourage you to seek help from someone you trust. Best wishes,