scottiejohn

If you do that you will some of the best jokes not posted in the joke section!

The latest one which you refuse to answer!

Any chance of answering the question, why did YOU respond to a question that was not directed at you? I assume you are looking in the mirror when you made the pointless age, peanut and little man comments above!

I do not think that is the case! Can you please show a link to back that up. All I can see on the UK Gov websites is that the pension is stopped completely when inside!

Why did you feel the need to respond to that particular post as you were not even mentioned in it but for some reason you must have assumed that I was directing it at you?

Are we allowed to name those we wish would stay off AN?

What are the odds on you calling back at the correct time!

I don't think so as he is not much better than Trump and that is saying something!

Just like many of your responses!

You must be joking if you think there is any chance of him doing that, apart from with/to himself!

No thanks! It would just mean more hot air and verbal pollution from a spoiled brat!

More like a knotted handkerchief on the head and barefoot!

He is not quite as qualified as Trump as he only has 23 charges pending against the MEGA's 91(and counting)!

It brings tears to my eyes just looking at it!

How do you expect to get any news if your only source of news is from an Arab state owned so called news outlet?

What's the difference? At his age they are both soft and tickly!

I am sure you must have some scintillating conversations down your local pub with your "colleagues" on this very hot and important topic. What do you call your group? Is it the 'Pets Euthanasia Grammar Internet Tautology" (PEGIT) Group"? What a stupid and pointless stance over a simple word! We are discussing putting dumb animals out of their misery, NOT humans!

For a tent?

Where else in the world would most Thai live? Having "been" somewhere and "living" somewhere is somewhat different!!

A Scotsman returned from America after ten years. His two brothers met him, both with beards down to their knees. The returning Scotsman was annoyed. 'You both look a mess! My own brothers and you meet me without having a shave!' 'It's your fault - when you left you took the only razor!'

Two flies on a bald head. One says to the other, "I remember when this was a footpath"

One of the most moving stories I ever heard was in a senna pod factory. I was a foreman on the conveyor belt and I was always on the go. One night I got invited to a Scrabble party at a teetotallers' coming of age. I was halfway through a carrot cocktail (they're very good: you still get drunk but you see better) when there was a knock at the door. I went with my hostess to open it, and stood on the doorstep was an old tramp. He said, 'Missus, last week you gave me a waistcoat and in the pocket I found two $5 notes: She said, 'You honest man! You've brought the money back!' He said, 'No, I've come for another waistcoat!'

Picasso got run over one day. He drew a sketch of the car and the following day the police arrested a plate of spaghetti and a cake tin.

Customer: 'Why are your hands so filthy?' Barber: 'Nobody's asked for a shampoo yet:

Cleopatra lay stretched out on the heaped Arabian pony skins, like a sensuous throbbing cat. As her handmaidens oiled her shimmering body she glowed in anticipation of seeing Antony, her lover. The flickering pallid flame from the rush lights threw her tawny magnificence into bold relief against the wine-dark hides of the tent. Antony entered the scented dimness and, throwing aside his armour, he took her into his arms in a heated embrace - his masculine musk making heady her senses. She whispered, 'Antony, my dear heart, let's not go out tonight - let's have a musical evening at home: 'How mean you, angel?' said Antony. 'Well; she said, 'I've booked a lute player. She clapped her hands and a slave from Gaul was thrown onto the floor. He was drunk - definitely a Gaul stoned. Two naked Nubian eunuchs then wheeled a brass gong across his body. And Cleopatra sang, I'm rolling a gong on the chest of a slave