Remember kids…these difficult, and technically demanding stunts are performed by trained, experienced, and highly qualified drunks. Don’t try this at home.
In other breaking news it was reported the ”obscene act” actually referred to witness outrage with his unbelievably horrific, and offensive choice of pants.
Amazing…..barely hours into the investigation….the RTP has swiftly and unerringly zeroed in on the source of this devious, criminal scheme.
Golden Triangle…..who would have thought?
This idea is hardly new.....okay, the rubber part may be new….but they've been promoting the rice-burning version of 'Sex toys made in Thailand' for a long time....
At first….in all the excitement he didn’t notice….but it now seems his 3 kilo gold chain is also missing…..oh….and his Patek Philippe Titanium wristwatch…..oh….and his Christian Dior sunglasses…. oh…..and his Air Jordan 10 OVO athletic shoes…. and…. well….oh yeah.....he almost forgot...there was also that bottle of Macallan 1926 whiskey.