dick dasterdly

4 minutes ago, jak2002003 said:

Maybe they just don't like that guy... not because he is poor, but for some other reason?

 

One of my neighbours is like that.  When I first moved here I felt a bit sorry for him, and he was also the most friendly and welcoming person and seemed nice.  People would tolerate him, but some were rude to him, and from my first impressions that seemed rather nasty.  At a few parties in the street he was left out, snubbed and only tolerated by some.  

 

Over the year living here his true character, and the reason no one likes him (or helps him) is because he gets very nasty and crazy when he has too much to drink, which I have been on the receiving end of his behaviour a few times now... and now I keep my distance and basically ignore the guy. 

 

If OP came to our house and saw this man being nice and chatting away to me over the wall asking for help, money, or food for his dogs and I was off hand with him, and refused to help him.. the OP would come to the conclusion that I has a bad attitude to poor Thai people and start a thread about 'English man's attitude to poor people'.. just from this one experience?

 

 

I seriously doubt they had ever met him previously and, if I came to your house and saw a neighbour asking for money etc. - I certainly wouldn't think that you had a "bad attitude" as I'm not at all keen on people asking for money either.

6 minutes ago, JetSetFvr said:

Sadly, you have to consider their caste system.  The lowest are the very poor and considered untouchables. It's believed by most that this is some sort of punishment for a previous life or actions they took to get in that situation ie bad karma. We think of it as being mean and cruel.  To them, it's just a life that person somehow deserves.

After yesterday's experience, I'm inclined to think this may possibly be true.

Having said this, I have seen Thais giving money to beggars (who were clearly disabled) at the market.

17 hours ago, Sheryl said:

 

No doubt. And no doubt your intentions were good.

 

But he might have been even happier if you had been more discrete about it such that others would not know if he had bought it vs been given it for free.

 

People's unwillingness to join in the undertaking may among other things have been a desire to distance themselves from something being done in a too public/embarassing manner.

I was discrete about it!

Initially, I went to the clearly v. poor man and tried to tell him that I had a samlor that I didn't want.  He didn't understand what I was saying, so I walked to 'my' 'bike repair shop and explained to him - as he knew that I had a new samlor and he was more used to my appalling Thai.  He clearly wasn't happy about it, but reluctantly came with me to explain that I had a samlor that I didn't want.  I asked the 'bike repair man to come to my house as it was going to be v. difficult to start (and that obviously I'd pay him) - but he abruptly told me that the man to whom I was giving the samlor would start it.

Getting back to my house, I showed the v. poor guy that I had another samlor and so didn't want (mai au) my old samlor.

When he couldn't start it, I went to my Thai neighbours to ask if they could help start the 'bike (but obviously didn't say that I was giving it away to the guy).  When I'd previously had problems starting it they'd immediately rushed over to help, but this time they didn't want to know.

I'd wondered why the Thai to whom I was giving the samlor hadn't gone to the neighbours for help when he couldn't get it started - but now I think it was because he knew they wouldn't give a damn about him?

10 minutes ago, mauGR1 said:

No probs, but you should offer your old samlor to some poor member of TVF

As mentioned previously, it has already gone to a 'good' home.

3 minutes ago, Sheryl said:

 

I  have lived in Issan at one point.

 

Generally poorer area but basic dynamics not different than the rural area I live in now.

 

One can indeed easily cause offense by providing charity, people do have their pride and it is important to them.  Also, what may look poor to you, may nto be by local standards, and there are gradations of poverty that may be hard for a foreigner to discern/understand.

 

There is also a sensitivity to the possibility that foreigner might "look down" on locals. Imagine for example that a wealthy Arab fro ma gulf state came to your home country, went into people's homes and started buying basic necessities for the kids. Would that not cause offense?

 

It is far harder or a foreigner to know when and how to be charitable without giving offense (or wasting their efforts) than it is for a local, and often helpful to seek local advice first accordingly. And to be very tactful and mindful of people's need for self respect....and their need to reciprocate in some fashion (do not turn down any gifts of thanks, regardless ofwhether you need or want them. )

 

With the exception of outright beggars, no one wants  to feel like an object of charity. We wouldn't like it either. In Thailand with the emphasis on "face", sensitivities are even higher than elsewhere and discretion and tact all the more important. If it looks like you are trying to publicly cast yourself  as a do-gooder at the expense of the "face" of the recipient, people will not think well of you for it nor should they.

 

But none of this implies any lack of compassion on the part of Thai people.  In fact it is my observation that Thais are extremely tactful and adept in showing kindness.

 

 

 

 

And yet the guy to whom I gave my samlor was extremely happy to receive the gift.

Having saId this, I give up.   Posters are more than welcome to feel that I did so for selfish reasons.

12 minutes ago, StreetCowboy said:

Maybe they felt it reflected badly on the OP giving away such a rusty old samlor, and were embarrassed on his behalf.

 

Maybe now one of them is having to help the old fella get the samlor to the scrap dealer.

 

Who knows?

Maybe I could ask my wife.  Maybe the OP could do the same.  His wife, not mine.

 

I reckon Thais must be reasonably generous to very poor people, since there seems to be money to be made from begging and selling stuff at traffic light intersections.

 

SC

 

 

I give up - you're quite welcome to think I'm 'publicity hungry' ????.

Feel free to re-direct the thread to your preferred option.

8 minutes ago, villagefarang said:

It is very possible that this individual has a bad reputation in the community and people have good reason for not wanting to deal with him.  Your Thai would have to be very good and your knowledge of who’s who in the community extensive, to be able to make a judgment about their motivations.

 

Being too quick to judge with insufficient data often leads to bad judgments and incorrect assumptions.   Your story and assumptions leave me with many more questions than answers.

You're desperately looking for excuses.

26 minutes ago, sanemax said:

I quite understand that .

You have stated that you gave your old samlor to a poor person numerous times already .

I really do think that you are just looking for some praise about your heroic deed , you made the World a better place , it would be even better if more people were like you .

   CONGRATULATIONS and I shall remember your kind act when it comes to voting for poster of the year 

I'm very sorry that you feel that way about me ☹️.

Some of us care. the locals - not so much......

2 minutes ago, isaanjohnno said:

Exactly- has been my experience also- only gotten worse over the last 10-15 years- prior to that it wasn't as blatant or un Buddhist 

I've only been here 12 years or so, and have had little to do with the genuinely poor.

Which is why it came as such a suprise to see the reaction of Thais to the genuinely poor ☹️.

6 minutes ago, sanemax said:

Yes, you have to pay for things to be fixed from a professional mechanic , you cannot expect a non mechanic to know what was wrong , why it wouldnt start and then be able to repair it  .

Don't ask me as I've no idea!

I bought a far better samlor with 'ignition' (?) start, and wanted my old samlor to go to a poor person.

edit - Is that hard to understand?

3 minutes ago, sanemax said:

Are you looking for a bit of recognition , a "well done" and a pat on the back, for your kind selfless deed ? 

Hardly, I was very happy to finally find a poor person that would appreciate my old samlor.

I wouldn't have posted if the locals hadn't made it clear that they didn't care about the poor guy being given my samlor.

Although to be fair, most of my friends also thought I was mad looking to give my old, unwanted samlor to a poor person, rather than selling it ☹️.

13 minutes ago, Sheryl said:

 

Absolute nonsense as regards Thais as a people.

 

Both empathy and charity are well understood and I do not find the percent of Thai people who practice them to be much different than people anywhere.

 

What you say may be true of the particular Thais you are dealing with but it is hardly true of Thais as a people.

 

They run the full gamut of types and characters. Selfish, selfless. Cruel, compassionate. etc

 

There may also be other issues at play, e.g. your motives may for some reason be being misconstrued or your actions not make sense to people as cosntituting charitable assistance.

 

As for the OP's story, I think most likely people either did not understand his plan to have the man make use of his samlor or may have felt it was clearly not going to work (and they could have been right on that score...not at all clear the man had any inclination or ability to make a go of being a samlor driver). Thais understand charity well enough, but development-type schemes less well...and sometimes the ones foreigners hatch aren't realistic to the situation or person for reasons they don't see buy that Thais easily can.

"There may also be other issues at play, e.g. your motives may for some reason be being misconstrued or your actions not make sense to people as cosntituting charitable assistance."

Agree almost entirely with this part of your post.

The 'poor guy' undoubtedly initially thought I was a loonie!  But my 'bike repair guy' understood, even though he clearly found it incomprehensible.

My Thai neighbours also understood, and rushed in to help when I had problems,, but had no interest in helping the guy to whom I was giving my old samlor ☹️.

Edit - Everyone to their own, but I find this depressing.☹️

22 minutes ago, sanemax said:

Maybe they couldnt fix the bike or didnt think that they could get it started and so didnt try and it had nothing to do with the mans lack of wealth ?

They didn't even bother to try - until I pretty much 'forced' my local 'bike man to come to my house to fix the problem ☹️.

I ordered some speakers on Tuesday and they were delivered yesterday.

Oddly, it was just a man on a 'bike who delivered them and he managed to find my house without 'phoning for directions!

1 hour ago, Grouse said:

Frankly, I would cancel her British citizenship. Change the law if necessary. At the very least it will serve as a lesson to others.

Depends on whether or not she was born in the UK?

3 hours ago, ivor bigun said:

All i can say is that my old home town in the UK had a small Muslim community 40 years ago when we went to live there they dressed like us ,there was a Christian and a Jewish meeting hall where they were,the shops sold pork and spirits,over the years more and more came ,they took over both the Christian and the Jewish halls, then the Mosque was built,now it looks like another country ,the women are covered up ,there is a boys and seperate girls school ,no shop in their areas would dare sell alchohol,advertizing is censored ,they have become a seperate race ,they do not mix and you would not go there at night.even in the day you would stick out like a sore thumb,

Sent from my SM-A720F using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app
 

7 minutes ago, Basil B said:

So, name the town or is this just another copy and past from the UKIP comic?

Possibly parts of Luton, or parts of East London?

I don't generally support ivor bigun's racist posts, but he's right in this case.

Mind you, the yobs in some nearby areas were just as bad ☹️.

12 hours ago, Yellowtail said:

 

I have been here 18 years and I do not remember it ever getting down to 15, and I have NEVER worn a sweatshirt here.

 

I've always slept with only a sheet and the air conditioner on all year.

 

 

 

 

I live on Phuket, and have occasionally needed a sweatshirt first thing in the a.m. (very early) when taking my dogs to the beach in a samlor.

I'm hopefully mostly used to the heat nowadays, hence why I can be 'cold' early in the morning, but have to agree that here on Phuket, I've never seen the temp. go down below 24C?  A question mark, as I'm not sure the temp. readings on my clocks are entirely accurate ????.  I rarely use aircon at night, just a fan.

A couple of years ago (?) it was WAY too hot for a few weeks, and so I ended up buying an aircon for the downstairs area - which hasn't been used since that VERY hot period.

20 hours ago, BritManToo said:

For most men it is hard to get, if you're female all you need to do is marry a Thai guy with a job.

Is this true?

If so perhaps I should be looking for a Thai guy with a job, to marry?

Only joking.  Was married for decades, and have no intention of doing the same again.....