jts-khorat

What I wonder about: if the OP's wife is Thai, she would know all that herself. As she is the one going crazy over it, this -- in my opinion -- must mean that the reason has to be something less usual.

This issue was already hotly debated as I came to Thailand the first time shortly before the turn of the century. Nothing has ever changed since then. My personal feeling: I would prefer that Buddhist holidays are a time of contemplation, and alcohol simply hinders this. On the other hand, Thais are prone to party, also on those days, so this ban was mostly ineffective anyaways. However, the thing that irks me most is the messenger; is Move Forward not exactly the party who wants to recriminalize ganja? I smell some real hypocrisy here, and in Thailand this only means one thing: business interests and shady money must be involved.

Something looks really fake about this video. I could believe the length (although I have never seen such a long centipede), but it simply has too many leg pairs. That said, if it was a centipede, I would keep a large distance to it. They can be surprisingly fast runners, can be aggressive and their bite is extremely painful, even more so than most of the scorpions in Thailand. Normally they sit in shoes, as might scorpions, so always shake them out before putting your feet into them. And careful when they seem dead: centipedes can show movement of legs and mandibles a very long time after "death". On my last visit to Isaan, one cut into several pieces in the morning showed still independent leg movement even in the parts completely separated from the head around midday time. Not even the chicken would touch it. The Mombasa Trains are millipedes by the way and really harmless; similar ones can also be found in Thailand.

Well. As I said, how you progress on your own path is "up to you". But might I impart a last gem of wisdom? You do know that fridges are a thing, so there would be no need to time your purchases to any inconvenient schedule. Plus, with a well-filled fridge, there will be lots of friends to discuss the mysteries of the cosmos. ????????

Really, this is the easy way to check for lies? Some people puzzle me no end.

I am not sure what the outcry here is again. Drinking urine -- in a fixed and prescribed way -- is part of Ayurvhedic therapies, and as Thai traditional medicine and yogic tradition is largely derived from it, part of Thai traditional medicine. It is rather telling that there are individuals high up in the Thai establishment who think people are too ignorant to know that. Does it help? Frankly, I do not know, as I must confess to my own cultural hang-ups, which so far I had no need to overcome. In any case, there is little that is outrageous about it.

How do you know that this is the right path? By fitting your observation of the world around you to how Theravada describes it; if your own practice leads to the outcomes described, it must be deduced that both your observation and the resulting method to change perception of the world are likely right -- this is indeed proper scientific method (even though I am not sure why this is of such importance to you). Unluckily it seems that you are tied up in a logical prison from which you even through your questions are unable to free yourself, at least you seem to fall constantly into the same semantic and therefore logical traps. It is not 'you' that is reborn. And maybe more importantly for understanding, there is no pinnacle to be reached. The goal is the absence of this reaching and the recognization that this presently reaching 'you' is the delusion which perpetuates this harmful process in the first place. This logic break to the simplistic and mechanistic moral world view we in the west have grown up with is really important. In Theravada, there is no price for achievement, no pot of gold at the end of the rainbow or a bearded father figure clapping you on the shoulder when entering heaven because you were a good boy. No magic tricks or acts of penitence to change the ledger into giving you extra points. No virgins or flute playing angels waiting to serve you. There are no 'better Buddhists', as this is no race or competition. There is no 'hell' either if you 'misbehave'. The effort of understanding -- one of the aspects I like about Theravada worldview the most -- is put in solely for your individual benefit. Because you want to. You and you alone, un-helped and un-hindered, have the free choice to follow or not follow the path, stop as you wish, move on when you feel it is right. It matters to nobody but you. In any case, there is only the endless circle of drudgery and delusion -- which circles nicely back to your question, how you know that you need to do this practice to leave the circle of Samsara? You know by learning -- and as they say here in Thailand: it is "up to you".

Thinking about your question more, and I am still not sure if there is not such a serious gap in terminology and understanding that we simply have no possible overlap... might I offer an additional thought: From a western perspective, the term 'subsequent life' might suggest something one might strive for or wish 'to achieve'. In Theravada it is the exact opposite, it is something to be avoided, as it means 'just more of this harmful delusion we already suffer through'. As you left me no clue on what level you wish to participate in a discussion, between the more dogmatic answer above and this simpler reply here, I would sincerely hope that you are able to further your understanding sufficiently for your own needs. If you have more questions, I am happy to help out.

Samsara (simplified the "cycle of lives", subsequent life being therefore a part of it), with its causes and its effects, can be better understood by contemplating the twelve components of Paticcasamuppada (Dependent Origination). Distilled down for the purpose of your question: Kilesas (mental fetters born out of ignorance) cloud the mind and lead to more negative Kamma (unwholesome actions). This shackles sentient beings permanently to Samsara suffused with Dukkha. Simplified Dukkha = Suffering, itself explained by the study of the Cattariariyasaccani (the Four Noble Truths). By following the Ariyaatthangikamagga (Eightfold Path, simplified enhancing understanding and following practice) and cultivating the Ten Wholesome Actions (reducing negative Kamma), sentient beings would be able to pass through the Four Planes of Liberation towards the achievement of Nibbana (the release from Samsara). "Subsequent life" is therefore a very much made plain and simplified term for the Non-achievement of Nibbana, the ongoing experience of Dukkha and therefore the continuation of Samsara.

I am not sure I understand your question. Its shortness suggests that you are looking for an easy answer, but I fear I do not have one. Also, I am still trying to find a common terminology. Therefore maybe pedantic, firstly it is not Karma (which is a Sanskrit term). Theravada Buddhism is based on Pali as its transmission language, hence: Kamma. Superficially, it is translated the same. But looking closer, your use of a Sanskrit instead of the Pali term immediately suggests, that you might potentially understand Kamma differently, in the sense of the later Mahyana traditions. Unluckily for a shared discussion, they can be removed from the (original?) Theravada philosophy quite far, as during the move from Pali to Sanskrit -- the language of contemporary Brahmanical scriptures -- they also took many of those Vedic concepts on board. Maybe the largest difference between Karma and Kamma is, that in Mahayana it is not the sole basis of rebirth, as they added the concept of Bodhisattvas. I could go on, but I have the feeling that we would be moving maybe too far from your direct question. Therefore, let's keep to the horse's mouth: maybe not the worst start one could have when reading up on Kamma -- and I am sure the answer to your question is in there as well -- is this short primer written by Bikkhu Bodi: https://www.theravada.gr/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/Kamma-or-Karma-B.-Bodhi.pdf If you are one for skipping ahead and reading the last chapter of every book to know how it ends, I recommend that you have at least a quick look at the pages 8 and 9 (the last two chapters), as follows:

That you believe that there must be some physical evidence for people's beliefs, this is, of course, your personal prerogative. However, your comment about literal re-incarnation makes me think that you somehow are not even talking about Theravada Buddhism (which would be the one relevant for Thailand). This makes it very difficult to enter in a discussion with you, as there is no shared terminology to work with. In case you wish to delve into this question deeper, I would suggest that you read up a little bit about some of the central tenets of Theravada, namely the concept of Anatta. From it follows that there is no permanent self, soul or ego to be reincarnated. It is Kamma, the sum of actions, which ripens in a subsequent life, and by acting skilfully, this potential is removed from the circle of Samsara, while by acting unskilful, potential is added. There is no Nirvana "waiting" -- this would be a Mahayana concept, easily misunderstood as a simile of the Christian 'Heaven' -- only Nibbana, the complete removal of any Kamma from the cycle. To make this easily understandable for myself, I like to see this similar to the impulse, that a billard ball would get when hit by another: it is a totally separate entity from the first ball, but it inherits its impulse, allowing it to take a wholly separate path, until it "achieves" the hole and is completely removed from the game. This certainly cannot be proved physically. However, it describes the world around me, as I can perceive it, better than any other system of thought I have encountered, while at the same time delivering a moral and ethics framework to allow individuals and humanity as a whole to co-exist peacefully and productively. Science does not stand in any way in rivalry to it. And that individual humans behave differently to that ideal framework does not invalidate it. It only shows that humans all too often live well below their personal potential. If you can name a better framework, please share, I -- and many others, I am sure -- would be all ear.

You could always get a girlfriend or wife, so she can cut your hair. Not sure though, if the effort of going out and visit a barber's for 30 minutes is not a well-spent time investment, compared to that.

I agree. In my case, the horrible side and intestinal pain I had whenever I just started walking a bit was a 1.3 cm kidney stone, which must have grown over some years. This had been misdiagnosed multiple times, until I had such a severe episode that I landed in the ICU. Therefore, as your symptoms are well beyond unpleasant and for such a long time, you do need professional help instead of self-medicating, as the possible reasons are so plentiful and guessing wrong could have nasty long-term effects.

I prefer 70-30. In the beginning you have pretty much pure coffee to wake up, at the end it becomes not too diluted to start tasting like weirdly aromated water while having a cooling effect to combat the rising morning temperatures.

Why not answer to this one; it is one of his more sensible posts ???? Not a beer drinker, so no glassware tumblers for me; but I am similarly particular with my morning coffee drinking pot when in Isaan. It has 800 ml, for my load of iced coffee in the morning instead of breakfast. It has just the right size to start my day very slowly right after giving food to the monks on their alms round and I dislike nothing more than being disturbed by needing to refill while I contemplate the bustling village life from the quiet vantage of my veranda sofa. After this first slow hour, my engine has usually fired up and I am ready for the day.

My advice was really clear and I see no connection at all to what you wrote as "answer". I am certainly not wondering much any more why you get your whole life situation muddled up, if you cannot even grasp simple statements in your own native language, let alone Thai or Isaan.

ˆˆThis. This is absolutely normal behaviour in Isaan. Attacking a local man for it could very easily lead to a visit in the police station, or more likely a lot worse repercussions. You were lucky to get a 'get out of jail free' card here without even noticing. The questions your little kids get asked by complete strangers that bother you so much (where he goes to school, etc) are the usual questions all kids are asked. It is a nice way to break the ice between adults and kids. That you see this as aggressive act shows how little of your surrounding you perceive correctly, however much Thai you assume you speak. I have given you advise before, this time it is: take a serious chill pill when interacting with locals and see everything first and foremost as friendly, because it usually is. Isaan people might sometimes come over a little bit clumsy in their social interactions, but true malice is encountered really not often at all.

I do not want to come from very far off-field, but for anger issues unrelated to physical problems (like the ones Sheryl describes), I do recommend meditation. It is the one thing closest to the Thai way of life, is accepted by everybody (different to Kratom or CBD) and, in the right setting, can really help the person identify underlying emotional issues all by herself. As you seem to be in Bangkok, according to your location, there might be 'real' meditation offered to laypeople in a temple nearby. If the setting is more rural, it can be difficult for women, but there the morning chanting at the temple gives at least a structured and calm start in the day and a tight social environment, which in itself is very worthwile to have if there are issues like depression. Best of all, it is free, non-addictive, will not make the situation worse, so well worth a try. If the issue is more serious than that, I would, of course, also recommend seeing a real doctor.

I have never seen or heard of people in Isaan putting out poisoned chickens out to kill street dogs. That would be really expensive and a waste of both chicken and dogs! In our village, every two-three weeks there is a truck coming, and for dogs who bite or chase chickens, they hand out a trinket (most often a plastic tub to wash clothes). It is said, the truck then drives on to Laos -- but funny enough, I had friends bring over sun-dried dog meat as a side dish for drinking often enough that I think not all make it even to the Mekhong.

Many people are really scared of the tones, making it a big hurdle in their own head. I did so too in my earliest days here, typical "Farang overthinking". In the end, there are two groups of Thais: there will be those, who simply do not want to understand you, and no matter how perfect your Thai, they will not (foremost by far: bureaucrats when they do not want to give you any service, be it immigration, police or at the Amphur). There is the other group, where you can speak the most horrible and mangled Thai, and they will make a real effort to get your meaning, as you made the effort to learn. When in country, try to stick to the latter and you will be fine. Everything else then follows fairly instinctively by actually speaking the language daily.

Because the agency might take their good time with their checking, and if it is a time-sensitive business transaction (like the downpayment on a condo) it might be well worth sending several smaller payments than going through absolutely pointless hassle. I actually really do not want to point it out, but somebody truly trying to launder money would likely know the way of circumventing this system already.

You are the head of the household. The language you use suggests you have really not yet realized this. This is your (step)son in your house. You deflecting away any responsibility for current and future circumstances will not change reality, so you might think about what your own long-term plan for personal happiness in this is. Let's not forget, you came here asking for advice and help. Therefore I really mean this in a friendly and constructive way and I think I gave you good advice, so I will leave it at that. You might reflect on it, and maybe gain a different perpective -- or not. Whatever you are doing at the moment is clearly not working, so a decision will be forced upon you if you are not acting by yourself and I believe it is always worse to react to something passively instead of having shaped your own circumstances. In the end it is you, who must lie in the bed you are making for yourself, so as the locals say: "up to you" (again, saying this friendly and without any malice).

Coming back late to this, but as you asked me directly: it is your fault, because you are the head of the household. Full stop. So stop blaming this on the shortcomings of the mother, you have chosen her as your partner and have therefore also chosen her son as your stepson. This makes it your responsibility. I might accept, that such a situation could well be difficult, if you have just met the mother and are settling in; but according to you, this is going on for a very considerable time. To me this means, that you just do not care enough about it and it opens you to the suggestion, that you are simply staying there for the "additional benefits". If the latter is the case, stop moaning. But I rather would propose that you man up and clean up the mess in your own house. Or are you seriously telling us, that a kid has the better of you? I do not want to come over as harsh, I do not know you. But I have seen many such situations in Thaland, where the foreigner is not involving himself where a decent person could not stand aloof, just to then tell everybody that nobody respects him and he is treated like little more than the ATM, so allow me this generalization. Finally, if you were my friend, I would be telling you exactly this in the clearest way possible -- because as you have stated yourself, it is obvious that this can only end badly if left festering.

If I would have half a million Euros just laying around, I sure would look for better investments than real estate of doubtable build quality in a third world country with shaky jurisdiction and instable politics. The situation would be very different if I would want to live in the place myself, at least part of the year. Mind you, if I would have bought a place, any place, 25 years ago as I first came to Phuket to live, I would have made a huge profit. But the hassle, and the immense risk, even in hindsight I would not think it a good idea.

I actually have a Thai stepson... and it worked. He is a grown man now and I am very happy to have accompanied him growing up all these years since I met his mother. It is simply a question if the family environment is decent, and -- if there are issues around lack of character -- if they can be fixed. I would say, most can. Luckily I had chosen a wife and extended family where there were no such problems. The OP on the other hand seems to be in quite a bit of a mess. Frankly, from what he writes, a lot of it seems to be his doing, or at least he ignored it for such a long time, that fixing it at this late point in time will be some effort. In any case, I would expect that a minor living in my household would follow my rules, but I also would treat him not different to my own kid and aid him wherever possible. Guiding children is the natural role of adults; the OP should either get out or step up to fulfill his responsibilities, as this situation will only get worse. Looking at this room, and the fact that the OP seems to be living there as head of this household for years already, I cannot really understand why he complains that this room is such a mess. That it looks like a prison cell or the room of a penniless slum dweller is absolutely and foremost his own fault. As others have mentioned, a large trash can, some canisters of paint and some decent furniture would be my first order of the day, accompanied by some gentle talks about the future direction of the family and how his stepson sees himself in it. Everything else can only follow from there.