owl sees all

It was an intimate moment with my new Thai girl friend. I licked, and then entered that forbidden cavity. And she loved it; no condom either. "I hope we can do it this way more often," she said. I was chuffed. After a snooze, it was time to get ready for a special meal out.

In town, we ordered, and soon the gf was enthusiastically licking the ketchup off a hot dog. A drop of the ketchup dripped off her sausage and down her cleavage. She didn't seem to notice, and it triggered a thought in my mind.

I said "Tomporn; could we talk about personal hygene?" "We can talk about anything lover," looking into my eyes seductively as she bit off a bit of sausage.

"Well teerak! When I go to the toilet, I look into the bowl after a number two and give it a name. Like Goulash, frankfurter, dumpling or ice-cream. Have you ever thought of similar teerak?"

"Oh yes," she said. "Only this morning I had a number two and when I had sprayed my underparts, I looked into the bowl and spaghetti immediately came to mind. But!! Gradually the spaghetti started to wriggle, and I thought elvers in creamy sauce."

1 hour ago, nauseus said:

Miss Vietnam looks like she might be about to eject her last meal.

Aint that the truth. I wouldn't swap Ms International for my Isaan wife for 5 minutes.

Our dog (Lala) was killed by a farmer neighbour who said it killed one of his chickens. I went to see him to sort things out. When I approached his hut the farmer's family were roasting Lala and slicing bits off.

I was offered a slice, and ate it with a bit of som tam, and downed the grub with a glass or two of Lao khow.

Overrated in my view. I could get used to it, but on reflection I prefer pork or duck or even snake.

8 minutes ago, Bredbury Blue said:

Lord give us strength!

Well we might need the Lord's help soon. It's Chelsky at home next up. And on the same day (but earlier) Liverpool have a doddle at Palace. Eleven points behind before Xmas. Must shoot myself.

On 10/9/2019 at 12:43 PM, petermik said:

I asked this same question to a fortune teller in soi Bukhaow (Pattaya) market the other day and she said (pigeon english of course) initially it will sink to 35 baht but late december will bounce to 40 and continue rising during the course of next year to a high of 54.......with this news I happily gave her a 20 baht tip

A bar girl said exactly the same to me.

This soi Bukhaow lass hasn't got a beauty spot on ner left cheek by any chance? I handed over 200 baht.

I'm not an American, so I don't think it's right to comment on this nonsense.

There are over 50 7/11s in Udon Thani and over 30 in Nong Khai. They all hand out plastic bags all say long. If this nonsense about plastic bags really takes hold there will be closures.

I'm all for drinking my coffe out of banana cups and eating my noodles with reusable chop-sticks, but how many TVForum members feel as enthuiastic as me.

Until the farang show the way, the Thais will not change their ways. It's not impossible to change Thai thinking; difficult, but doable. I have managed it with the wife; well sort of, over rubbish disposal. 

2 minutes ago, sanemax said:

That was her pet snake , very unlikely to happen with a wild snake .

I saw a reticulated python in the wild recently and it thought about eating me , I took a photo of it, must have been 10 meters long , magnificent  creature

Well I can't outdo 10 metres. But I caught a snake at our farm. it was 2.4 metres long. Not a python though.

Yum, yum.

23 minutes ago, sanemax said:

Theres more chance of your hamster crawling down your throat and suffocating you than the python killing you

Maybe sanemax, but one of the pythons killed a lady recently:

https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-50261417

"Indiana State Police Sgt Kim Riley said the person who found Ms Hurst was able to remove the reticulated python from her neck but emergency services could not revive her. Ms Hurst, for whatever reason, got the snake out and was doing what people do with snakes,"

Can't be too careful in LOS (land of snakes).

18 minutes ago, Thingamabob said:

Why ?

It could coil itself around your neck and kill you. Happened to an American lady just last week.

Or it might eat your favourite cat. Or hamster if you keep one.

I don't know what sort of python it was. But if in doubt, grab it by the tail and lead it away. Done it lots of times.

Koi carp worship.

Nong khai pet centre September 2019

On 11/5/2019 at 8:03 AM, Crossy said:

I'm not even allowed in the kitchen now, let alone near the stove or sink, it seems I am permitted to open the fridge to get a beer out (but only when the grandkids are not there to get me one).

Same here. It's not good for a farang to be in a Thai kitchen.

Apart from the fact that I'm close on two metres in height and the ceiling slopes away to about 1.6 metres at the sink, It's not a man's job.

Leave well alone guys; don't tempt fate. Wouldn't want to see a topic on TVForum about a farang being deported for washing his beer glass.

17 hours ago, mfd101 said:

Sea walls won't protect BKK unless they also divert the Chao Praya River (but where to?).

Should build a causeway from Pattaya to Hua hin and drain the bay. Would drop the water level by 2.75 metres.

Make sure to move the subs first though.

1 hour ago, bristolgeoff said:

Ex wife no matter what country  can stitch u up after the divorce if they hate u enough

I reckon that's what happened here.

Maybe she wasn't getting enough of the dosh.

Greed can eat you away.

So! Was she killed and put into the fridge? Or put in alive and she froze to death? Or, put in alive and died from shortage of air?

When will we know; if ever?

On 10/27/2019 at 2:39 PM, GroveHillWanderer said:

VAR is not allowed to get involved here. According to the published VAR Protocol, encroachment by an outfield player at a penalty is only reviewable if the player who encroached, becomes involved in scoring or preventing a goal, after the ball rebounds from the frame of the goal or is saved.

If that is how it is; then so be it.  All i can say, in this case, was that the ref' and the ass' ref' (linesman) did not do their jobs nearly well enough.

It's hard enough for clubs to get a result at the top club's ground without being cheated by incompetent officials..

Is it on the table for 2020/2021? GG seems to think so.

C Ronaldo for player manager.

OGS needs to learn his trade in a lower division.

10 minutes ago, BangrakBob said:

You need to look at the games played against who and when also. 

 

Liverpool will have played 4 of the supposed top 6 (and Leicester who are looking decent) by next week and at the moment only dropped 2 points.  City have only played Spurs and drew and the rest have been bottom half clubs. 

City still need to play 11 games of the top 6 (including Leicester) from Nov to March, 4 of those are away matches in the NY. This is also around big matches in the CL. 

 

Yes, good points. The Reds are still in the driving seat. The bookies (punters) have Liverpool as favourites; just. Of course The Reds might streak away, but City would have to drop points. I'm pointing out that City could now catch Liverpool; and indeed pass them depending upon goals scored, and assuming they win the two matches.

4 minutes ago, david555 said:

maybe because money bets , you know Thailand's obsession with gambling ….

Bet365 has live footy video streaming on their site. Wouldn't dream of having a flutter,. Well, just a little dream!

20 minutes ago, david555 said:

Must be because the HuaHin I.P. area , known for the " suspicious rich" living  there , do like us poor buggers and live Jomtien , and never a problem as such????????

I'm up near Nong Khai and both Skybet and bet365 have blocked me since the start of the English footy season.

Hotmail; is it going to close down soon? I'm getting requests to contact them. Not sure if they are genuine messages.