habuspasha

In our 30s and 70s, she stayed 20 and I lost a couple of year each anniversary.  Now that we're in our 40s and 80s, she complains "I'm not a young girl anymore."  I don't believe her.

I too grew up in an overwhelmingly Jewish community.  My Irish Catholic mother once asked me why I didn't have any Christian friends.  All my closest friends in college were also Jewish.  They taught me how to think.  Without them I may not have graduated.  With their influence I became curious and thoughtful.  Though not particularly funny.  They saved my bacon.  And they were the first people to show me that Israel was not what it purported to be, but a model of settler colonialism--and that was in the 1960s.

60 years ago I had little idea of what the vagina looked like or how it cold be stimulated by mouth and tongue to multiple orgasms.  I was in too  much of a hurry to satisfy myself.

I appreciate the info in the post even though I'm not a Pattaya denizen.  I have had two experiences in Bangkok-Phuket hospital in the last few months and they both were excellent.  I couldn't recommend it more strongly.  Not cheap, but excellent value.

I'm sure no two cases are the same, but I can tell you a few things I've learned caring for my wife in New York who does have dementia (diagnosed ten years ago and is now immobile).

1.  It is enormously preferable to keep the patient at home if possible.  In the US, institutions established that during covid.  Even at home, 4-5 years ago my wife would sometimes say (she was still talking) she wanted to go home (meaning her bedroom). 

2.  Continuity of setting and care is also preferable.  Two or three constant care givers is better than different ones sent each day.

3.  It's very important to have care-givers who can engage patient, not just do the tasks.

4.  Don't assume there is nothing going on in her mind.  Don't talk baby-talk.  She hears everything and processes more than you think, even if she is not talking.

5 Try to keep her exercising however is suitable.

While I don't see any evidence here, I wonder if it might be time to consider the impact of global warming.  Certainly the air quality is a continuing problem.  But this hot season seems to be setting records, no?  97-102 F highs in BKK last two weeks?  My Thai mia noi who wants a sweater at 75 F is running the AC all day, complaining it's Hot, Hot, Hot, and willing to come to New York.

4 hours ago, BritManToo said:

If you don't even know your own name, why would it matter where you were or what you were wearing?

Dementia does not decrease or eliminate the need for creature comforts.  It might create a level of anxiety that makes basic comforts more important.  We do not know the inner life of a dementia sufferer, but we shouldn't assume it is pleasant oblivion.

27 minutes ago, georgegeorgia said:

So you have 2 wives?

 

They each consider me their husband.  My American wife since 1980 may not always remember my name but she seems to enjoy our regular WQXR Midday Mozart air-conducting and dancing from the wheelchair and our Netflix viewing  at night.  My Thai "wife" since 2014 knows she is next in line but expects correctly that someday she will be first.  There was no official ceremony.  Shortly after we met she had me buy a ring and she put it on the 4th finger of her left hand.  I told her:  In America that means we're married.  She said: Same in Thailand.  I ordered Champagne and we toasted.  (I suppose I even gave the family a sin sod in a house.)

2 hours ago, brewsterbudgen said:

3 hours ago, habuspasha said:

Spent over 50 years tied down by work schedules of me and two wives.  Now I pay the salary that makes her available anytime I like.

 

Just her or your other wife too?  

Just her.  First wife divorced 50 years ago.  Current wife bed-ridden with late stage Alzheimer's.  Just mia noi.

Spent over 50 years tied down by work schedules of me and two wives.  Now I pay the salary that makes her available anytime I like.

15 hours ago, lopburi3 said:

ADJUSTED REFUSAL RATE - B-VISAS ONLY FISCAL 2022

U.S. Department of State (.gov)
https://travel.state.gov › Non-Immigrant-Statistics
THAILAND. 24.36%.

https://travel.state.gov/content/dam/visas/Statistics/Non-Immigrant-Statistics/RefusalRates/FY22.pdf

Fascinating table.  But I assume this covers men as well as women and is not broken down by gender, marital status, or age.  Any idea what is adjusted?

On 10/14/2023 at 4:33 AM, Bunny Silverhand said:

Vietnam is essentially free to access for most - if not all - westerners for 45 days. Great country, great food, beautiful beaches and mountains (the Da Nang area is a unique mix of both). Many young westerners here too. No wonder: everything is cheap even fancy hotels.

Americans (US passports) require prior permission from VN to get a visa on arrival.  I didn't know that when I tried to fly from Phuket to Danang last month.  I was denied boarding in Phuket.  My Thai GF was fine.  Thais and most others can get visa on arrival. Of course, it cancelled the vacation.  We'll try again next month.  I got approval from the embassy through an email through Vietnam electronic travel authorization online (about $80).

Casablanca

The Godfather 

The Godfather 2

On 9/30/2023 at 3:11 AM, georgegeorgia said:

I don't understand why not ,I am planning to 100.

That's why I'm still working and doing shift work and overtime even at my age which I'm finding it very hard to work one week day and then night etc but I'm doing it so I can retire in case I live to 100

I tell myself and friends that I signed up for the 140 year plan, not because I'm a good prognosticator, but because I believe optimism keeps me going.  But I finally retired last year and now at 82, I and my 41 yr old TGF are now exploring retirement locations.

5 hours ago, Gecko123 said:

I lived in mostly large cities: NYC, LA, SF, Seattle. Lived in a lot of areas with a fair amount of traffic noise, and always told myself I wanted peace and quiet when I stopped working. I'm shooting for a blue zone life style, which I believe can be replicated here in Thailand.

At this moment the AQI at Bangkok and Phuket is 57.  At New York City it is 27.  The noise on my balcony at Kata Noi is the sound of the waves.  The noise at my 5th floor window in NYC  is from the birds.

3 hours ago, Hummin said:

Overdose of testosterone can make prostate enlarged. There is no connection between trt and risk of prostate cancer even for the groups at risk

 

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3424887/

Thank you for article. Good news and conforms with my experience: TRT for last 40 years and low/normal BP.  Recently doubled testosterone gel w/o increasing BP.  Did suffer in 2020 from light-headed episode traced to low salt, since raised to minimum.  Also have had large prostate for which I take finesteride (5mg) and cialis (10mg) and flomax (4 mg).  PSA ok.  Everything checked regularly with top NY urologist.

I noticed years ago how my friends also approaching retirement, though a decade younger than me, gradually bent themselves over at the shoulders as if they were preparing for a part as the aging grand dad.  It was like they were following a script.  Slow down for the sixties.  Slump into retirement.  To what extent, I wondered, do we make ourselves older?

Last night after meeting my 41 yr old TGF and flying down from Swampy to Phuket, she asked me why all the men my age looked so much older.  She knows I'm 82.  What she didn't know was that those guys were no more than 65.

To mix it up a bit:  I plan on joining the next generation of expates in a few years, having just retired at 82.  I Will keep a home in America,  New York, expand my travel in SEA, deepen my libido, and build a home with my 40yr younger GF of the last ten years  somewhere in Thailand.

On 8/11/2023 at 9:22 AM, georgegeorgia said:

"particularly Irish drunks"

???

I am interested in any experience with cataract surgery in Thailand, especially what is called "combo multifocal lens and Femto Laser" which costs as much as $4,000 per eye at home in NY.  I have been particularly successful with dental implants and crowns in Thailand (at Bangkok International Dental Center) but when I think of eye surgery I can't stop thinking of Un Chien Andalou.  Tell me some good stories.

I would kind of like to get rid of thousands of books that clutter up my 3 bedroom flat, many left from a pre-computer world and not opened since then.  But everytime I toss one out I remember it a few days later and want to see it again.  Often I see it for sale on the street and at least I can buy it back for a lot less than I paid the first time.

A couple of comments about the opening statistics:

First, I'd love to see some global comparisons.  We Americans may not be typical.

Second, there is some contradiction about the change over time (in addition to the absence of figures for those of us from the silent generation or early baby boom).  The source confirms the idea that the silent gen had more sex than later gens and the decline has continued.  Yet we recognize that sexual activity declines with age. I know many in my cohort blossomed in the 1960s but have gone "silent" since.  But surely I'm not unique in pushing the GF for more sex at 82.  If 90 is becoming the new 40, maybe the 80s  are becoming the new 30s.  You can blame blue pills and testosterone, but the effects they have are genuine.

13 hours ago, BritManToo said:

Can't say I care if they enjoy it or not, if they don't enjoy it they should have stayed single and bought a few cats.

You don't think you might increase availability and frequency by increasing her pleasure?