way2muchcoffee

My story.

My wife is from an ultra-poor family. I was not directly asked to, and have paid no sin-sod. Regarding the marriage, I don't drink and so don't feel the need to buy a bunch of whiskey for the wedding. I offered a dry wedding with a suitable 'feast' as an alternative, something a few of my wife's friends have done. This plan was rejected. So there was no celebration.

Now I am not just cheap and unsympathetic. I have helped out every member of the extended family financially at one time or another over the past 6 years. I provide a monthly stipend to the aging grandmother, while the wife's uncles, aunts, and cousins send very little, and even then they do so sporadically.

I have paid back loans for the family where the land deed was used as collateral. I have gifted gold to the grandmother. I have paid to add on to the family house, doubling the size. I purchased 2 rai of land for my wife. I offered to take custody and pay for the education of the youngest orphaned cousin (now ten years old). I fully intend to keep supporting the aging grandmother, and to offer limited help in emergency situations to the extended family. This is more than enough in my opinion. The wife and I have found a middle ground that works pretty well. She is not entirely happy with the arrangement, but neither am I. The money that goes to the family comes directly out of the money that would go into my retirement. The compromise situation is the best way for us.

Oh and by the way - I take exception to the 'Farangs are notorious butterflies' comment. It seems more appropriate to apply this to Thai men than to western men, though men are men, and there are unfaithful in any group. I can honestly say that I have not strayed even once in the 6 years we have been together.

Alternatively the government could act strongly to reduce the levels of poverty, job discrimination, and greed from top echelons of society, while simultaneously improving education and tripling the minimum wage, in order to address some of the root causes of drug use.

I just received a phone call from my Thai supervisor.

Bangkok Christian College will be closed today (wednesday). Business as usual tomorrow unless notified otherwise....