Keeps

That's not an answer to the question is it Malky boy? Haven't smoked the old Dutch Parsley for a long time now. No hallucinations or paranoia here. Dicks are certainly not my thing. Never have been, never will be. Now, back to the original post and question. You slipped up Malky, sorry GOAT. You gonna hold your hands up or at least come up with a believable explanation?

I'm pretty sure that if I had come wobbling out of the sea, like Ursula Andress's fat, retarded uncle, one man boob smacking me in the mush, the other hitting me middle of the back as I jog up the beach, you wouldn't have come rushing up with a T-shirt to protect my modesty.

You are one of the first to post every time though showing your disapproval. You following his profile or just a stalker? If you don't like his/it's harmless fun, jog on. Have a moan elsewhere.

Best posts of the day. Made me chuckle.

Just been having a little think whilst having a couple of cold ones and something sprung to mind Malky. Very much enjoyed this post but then, I started thinking about finishing a party cone in one go. Isn't this what AUSSIES refer to as a bong? Us Brits call it a bong, I think the Yanks call it a bowl? Now, as you claim to be a Brit, why would you be using the Aussie vernacular? As you are well aware GOAT, I do pick up on your slip ups. I'm a cunning one like that. Time to come clean @MalcolmB? At least do the decent thing and provide me with a plausible explanation. I'll give you the benefit of the doubt if you do. Cheers cobber.

I have always hated the smell of ciggies. The smell on my clothes was terrible. After a cig I'd normally wash my hands or use hand gel and also breath spray. Amazed I ever smoked but used to knock back 5 Rothmans after school at 11 years old! Heavy cannabis smoker as well from late teens for a couple of decades. I'm 57 now and want to make old bones so really want to knock it on the head once and for all. One thing I have noticed during the last month is when I've had a few beers in the evening, I feel much better next morning than I did when I had the same amount of beers accompanied by 15 cigs. That has certainly given me even more of an incentive to quit for good. Thanks for the input 👍

I wasn't being intentionally horrible, I promise. I just couldn't resist 😁 🙏

I was going to say exactly that but got bored typing and grabbed another beer instead. The stuff I had was called 'Fleet'. 2 bottles throughout the day before. Supposedly lemon and lime flavour. I can only imagine it tasted more akin to a tramp's underpants. Things started flowing after the first bottle but midway through the second my toilet room started looking like an IRA prison cell from the 'dirty' protests in the 1980's. Got to have another one next year due to a long term medical complaint. Can't wait 😞

This was in the UK. I was anesthetized (including a small amount of Fentanyl apparently) but they seemed to underestimate it a touch. They need you to be pliant to move you about rather than completely out of it. I could feel it, was in immense pain, was able to see the screen but I was too monged to be able to make a noise. A very unpleasant experience all in all. Bit of a laugh after in the recovery room though. Whilst they undertake the procedure they pump air in to expand the colon. That all has to come out after. Myself and about 8 other blokes in a recovery room tripping out from the anesthetic doing the loudest, longest farts ever known to mankind. It pulled back what had been a terrible experience from the abyss.

I had a colonoscopy 4 months ago. I felt gay for well over a fortnight after that. Couldn't look another man in the eye for the first week.

I misread that initially. I just thought it meant that you were in the room with them. My mistake.

Missed you buddy 😉

Typical Yank, no sense of humour. Also, read your post. It makes no sense. Before you have a 'pop' suggest you read the proposed post. Saves looking a fool.

Wow, you are back with a bang! You missed out "reading @Harrisfan posts makes you brain dead".

Here we go, ^ the preacher man has turned up. Hallelujah, praise the Lord.

Nope, they're Gay.

Now I know I am being picky here and I'm certainly no Liverpool Lou, but how is it possible to get it so wrong? 555

If you include the name 'Alpha' within your posting name, as in 'Alpha' male you are Gay. Fact.

If you willingly allow something larger to enter your bum than what naturally comes out of it you are Gay. Fact.

Pointless bit of blurring in the main photo. Just looks like he has got a misted up pair of glasses on.

Go on then, tell us. You know you are dying to. I am one month today off the cigs. Still finding it difficult, particularly when I have a beer (if anyone suggests packing in the beer then aswell I WILL hunt you down and have your nads on the end of a stick). I am pretty determined though this time. Don't want to vape or anything so (a bit strange) I have been having the occasional chuff on half a plastic straw with a bit of tissue paper stuck in the end to offer some 'resistance'. Seems to be working for me. What's the easy way then?

And my comment was regarding diversity being taught to children at a young age if you read the post. No comment made whatsoever regarding the gender of a teacher. Have no problem with that at all if they are up to the task.

It was very easy to deduce from another thread. Plus, if he hadn't have been, he would have responded immediately pouncing on my error.

Plenty of jelly and ice cream for those without teeth.

Can you imagine the stench of pi$$ at this party. Load of old blokes stumbling around and shouting at nobody in particular " I'm 84 you know". "What's that? Time for my pills?" Would probably need at least a dozen nurses on hand just to be on the safe side and who is picking up the tab for them?