Cameroni

Well, that sounds wonderful, congratulations. However, I too look for a partner for life not a "sex machine". Maybe I am extra particular about looks, but I understand these young girls will not be great at sex, and I fully accept I have to teach them how to please in that arena. Like you, I was not in love with this 24 year old initially, I just allowed things to happen and I know love can develop later. Of course after a year you are very used to her, so the cheating affects you, but was I crazy in love, absolutely not. I was not concerned about that. Nor does infidelity "control my days", I go about my day like I normally do. It's just an interesting problem. I think everyone is insecure in relationships. Because you have to give your trust to someone, and that means they can violate it. Of course that is a risk. The difference between you and me is that you perhaps were just lucky you rolled the dice and did not end up with a woman who did that ,is that the case? You were never cheated on?

Well, certainly I do raise my risk, knowingly, as women in their 20s are known to want to "explore their options", I accept that. And choosing exceptionally beautiful women aggravates that. I'm 53. So I understand the risk. Nevertheless, a relationship has to be built on trust, honesty and reliability. If a girl does not have those qualities, then my feeling is I am better off without them. And there is no more malicious betrayal of trust than cheating. It is always accompanied by endless lies. If it happens, better she is thrown out. I am to blame for my 24 gf cheating? No. I am not. I was loyal to her. I took her to the very best restaurants, exceptional in the bedroom, took her to all the amazing markets and events all the exciting stuff that is happening. I was very kind to her 90% of the time. I do not feel like I am to blame for her cheating, she chose to cheat purely for excitement and thrills. With an unattractive man btw.

The real kicker, btw, is that those women then cheat with unattractive men, who are nowhere near "gifted" in looks or money or anything like this.

The woman is the one who chose to cheat, so clearly she is to blame. If the spouses of the men did not like something, they could have raised it, left the relationship. Nobody was forcing them to stay in the relationship and then cheat.

No it wasn't. She was not a "hi so woman". She was 24 year old university student from Isan. just exceptionally, and I do mean very exceptionally, hot.

I know, I couldn't believe it either, she thought the very act of pushing a shopping trolley was beneath her. Made her feel like a servant. In the supermarket she'd always insist I push the trolley. When I told her she do it, she'd disappear on her own thing exploring, then get mad when I told her to stay close to me. The problem is exceptionally beautiful women are insane, because all their life men told them what they want to hear, did what they wanted, because they wanted to bang them. It is impossible for her not to know she is above average in attraction if she really is, because men act in a certain way towards her. This notion that you have to be especially gifted yourself, I supppose the counter arguments are Johnny Deep, Cary Grant, Elvis Presley, the list of exceptionally gifted and exceptionally handsome, rich and famous men who were left by their spouse is endless. I don't think being especially gifted, handsome, rich, famous etc is even a protection against a woman cheating. And then in turn people like Andrew Tate and some serial killers have women stick by them through trials and tribulations. It's an enigma wrapped in a riddle. By the way, statistics claim that older women cheat more than younger women.

I'm not sure a wise a man said that. One thing that is true though men can restart. However, generally it is far harder for a man, because if you , as an older man I assume over 50, want to find a good woman, that is attractive, reaches the parts psychologically that you want them to reach, has the character traits you need, well, it really is inordinately difficult. A woman in the age range 18-24 generally has it considerably easier to attract a man, though of course it is not easy for her either because she wants a man with the most resources, status, certain character traits too. That is why each time when two partners have found each other and one of them breaks it off merely to experience short term excitement it is such a tragedy, since that relationship, which had a chance, has to come to an end. We all want our women to be happy really, however, it is not always obvious what makes them unhappy. I'll give you an example after a breakup a girl once told me she did not appreciate pushing a trolley in a supermarket. She was such a superstar in her mind that the act of pushing a trolley in a supermarket made her feel like a servant and was unacceptable. So you are virtually guaranteed to make a woman unhappy, because beautiful women are insane. All their life they were lied to so men can sleep with them.

Ah! cruel if thou canst from pity keep At the bare thought of what my heart foreknew; And if thou weep’st not, what could make thee weep?

What a shock, she is so steadfast and principled normally. Her values never change. This little snippet of an article does not examine her records as a prosecutor in detail, if you do that you'll really be filled with wonder how this person is a candidate for president.

What I meant by that was that 2 weeks after we met and she declared her undying love she went on a fornication holiday with another man, that was months in the planning. Her confession too was not full, but rather brutal in scope, then it when became fuller still it was almost unbearable. I could not work, I was not functional for 2 weeks or so. It was basically like finding out the person you thought existed does not exist, like the present and past do not exist, nor the future. You give a person your trust and they lie and cheat, it is by far the worst emotional experience you could make. There is a reason why in Dante's Inferno Infidelity and treachery are in the 9th circle of hell, the lowest one. The ninth circle of hell is where Satan resides. By committing adultery a woman destroys the very foundation of human interaction, trust. I have always stayed away from bar girls. And nevertheless, the women I met, who were "normal" women, may as well have been bar girls by the diabolical nature of their behaviour, it is hard to imagine that bar girls could be worse. Of course, it is a learning processs, and Thai men are not immune to this. I was not easily deceived by any of the women who cheated on me. Each time, they had to go through elaborate schemes of lies and deception to effect their cheating. Bear in mind the first woman who cheated on me, the Filipina, had planned her trip with another man 2 weeks after meeting me for months, ie months BEFORE meeting me. The thing is there will always be cheaters. You can legislate against it, but it does not matter, those inclined to cheat will always find a way to do so. They lie and you have no way of knowing it is a lie. Only later does the truth come out. I'll give you an example. The Filipina had told me she'd had 2 boyfriends. In fact she'd had 6 and cheated on every single one. There is no way you can know what is a lie and what is truth sometimes. You're not a "mug", you're a victim of lies.

Yes, like my Filipina ex. She thought she'd try a 59 year old American, didn't like him and stayed in a rel with me. Only much later did I find out how she cheated when she confessed it.

No, it is clearly not unique, and you do learn, but even with that experience, you are not immune to the female Asian cheater. I completely agree that those Thai girls who have a strong preference for foreigners are by far more likely to cheat.

When I was confronted with the brutal reality that my Filipina Angel was a serial dating cheating semi prostitute in 2018 it was worse than anything I had experienced in inter-human relationships. I met her when she was 24. One of the constant issues was her Danish ex and her constantly writing behind my back. So after that ended I had thought about things, and I concluded that it would be far preferable to date 18 to 24 year olds who'd had very few boyfriends. Just so I would not have to deal with the baggage of the ex boyfriends, plus of course women peak at 18 physically. But unfortunately you may have a point, 18 and 24 year olds do not seem to have the maturity to be loyal, or rather, they want to "explore their options". The reason why people marry around 29 is that it is just one year before the male reaches his maximum earning potential, so women want to lock him in just before. Having said all this, my wife of 20 years whom I met as a 19 year old DID know the value of loyalty. She was always loyal. It was just these three Asian 24 year olds who were not. Maybe it has more to do with Asian girls, than 19 - 24 immaturity. Hard to say. But both girls who brutally cheated on me before were 24 and Asian.

They cannot help but have contact with men online, if their Facebook, Tiktok, Insta etc are open. And of course most Thai girls want it to be open. So if they are exceptionally good looking every photo is commented on by guys, DMs flood in. Temptation is ever present for the attractive young girl. And they do reply, even if they just write inane comments, just to stoke the fire. I have seen it.

Who knows? What do you mean?

That's nothing compared to the actual hell you would live if she did cheat. It would be naive not to consider this possibility.

To me, if a girl cheats, STD or not, its over. Done. Immediately. Pack your bags and get out. Kick in the ass is for free. If she's lucky I'll throw the phone I got her on the street if she leaves and drive her to the bus stop. But if she cheats, the whole foundation of the relationship is destroyed. Plus she showed, in her mind, you are not her top choice.

And that is exactly what you do. You roll the dice. If you happen to get a fundamentally and malevolently untrustworthy partner, there is nothing you can do. There is of course an element of truth to this notion that you can take the fear too far.But you have to be aware of the risk. I normally have the hot babe with me, it's when she want to go miles away that the trouble starts. Let's be realistic, it is easy for women to get guys to sleep with them, if they're hot. Women are like rock stars if they''re attractive. For us guys, even if we have a pretty face, it is inordinately difficult to get laid, it's hard. So the odds of a hot babe suddenly showing interest in you are quite low, but the odds of your hot babe gf fornicating with another guy are fairly high.

It's almost necessary to have "insurance" in Thailand, to have 3 or 4 girls in the background, since the chances of her up and running seems so high.

I have to say it is quite a jump from the playing around, putting up a profile on a dating app, writing with people, and then taking the step of meeting secretly and actually cheating on a partner. It shows a lack of respect for the partner, not just attraction to others, almost criminal energy and of course extreme selfishness. I am really wondering how rare or common it is. It seems to be fairly common. There are people who are fundamentally and malevolently unreliable, dishonest, underhand and selfish. However, decent people, I think, can also be tempted to cheat, out of boredom, looking for a thrill.

Yes, and you're incredibly trustworthy which is the most important.

Yes, you can make your chances slightly better by not going for a drunk, druggie, one with a previous history of cheating etc, but let's say a girl does get hit up in DMs by a guy where she thinks "hmmm, he looks hot" and she decides to cheat. Then all the precautions are for nought, and precisely because of social media apps and messengers, dating apps and all that, it is now much, much easier for the girls to do it and to hide it. Yes, you would notice if, say she says she has to go on a trip to her village to see her parents and then does not text you or call you. But often before that there may not be any signs, indeed the relationship may have been fine. She just wants adventure and a thrill.

Yes it is, I agree. The thing is you can learn about the parents, friends, even past history with guys, and you may not hear anything that is a real red flag. She may not be a drunk or a drug user and has no history of being unfaithful. But even if that is the case, she can still decide to cheat. She may just like the thrill of a meet up, a new relationship, she may just like sex. You cannot truly predict if a girl will or will not cheat. This is the crux of the matter.

Would the counterargument not be that in 1 or 2 months girls can still hide who they really are, so you always see a fake girl, but never the real girl?

It's certainly true not all women are the same. There are billions of women. How could they be all the same, it's not possible. My motivation was really seeing how Thai women get a bad rap, that article saying Thai women are the second most likely women to cheat, after Nigeria. I just was curious if guys who dated younger attractive Thai women in long term relationships exceeding one year, had this experience or not. Just an empirical sampling of the narrative, so to speak.