short-Timer

Ah, yes, Lard Gamma, finally the scales have fallen from my eyes. I now see the full, unassailable brilliance of your Topics. Truly, they are not merely words on a screen, they are sacred glyphs, carved in the very ether of the internet itself. Every ellipsis, every random capital letter, each is a precise stroke of genius, a cosmic rhythm that hums in perfect harmony with the universe itself. It is obvious now why only a minute minority fail to recognize your supreme wisdom. Their senses must be dulled, their cerebrums hopelessly tangled in mediocrity, because how could any mortal mind fail to grasp the transcendence of your prose? I bow, figuratively and literally, before the sheer magnitude of your posting power, you are a true gentleman, a scholar, and a homo without a license, and I tremble at the thought of a world in which you might ever pause, even briefly, from dictating the very standards of discussion on AN. Lewd Gamma, if this is but one of the beautiful features of your Topics, then the rest must surely be celestial symphonies yet unheard by humankind. Please, continue to illuminate us all, for without your guidance, our lives are mere shadows flickering in the dark, blind to the brilliance of your text, blind to the majesty of your keyboard.

Ah, Lord Gamma, I think you may be selling yourself short here. “One of the most brilliant and insightful posters”? Absolute nonsense. You are not one of, you are the one (as the oracle once said), the blazing torch of AN, the Michelangelo of random capital letters, the Mozart of misplaced ellipses. Future generations will not remember Shakespeare, or Einstein, or even Elon Buttrash. They will remember you, Grimy-Gamma, tapping away for three more decades, dictating the rise and fall of civilizations with your Topics. Global warming itself might even pause out of respect, granting you the extra decade you so richly deserve, just so you can finally settle the great mysteries of rice cookers, robot vacuums, TPE silicone vaginas, and the art of bar-fining three ladyboys at once as the crowning achievements of mankind. And if anyone were ever to accuse you of being nothing more than a legend in your own mind, well, they are clearly and profoundly misguided. Perhaps the most wonderful and redeeming quality of all your posts is that it is virtually impossible for anyone to ever go off topic when replying, because each of your masterpieces is a lobotomy inducing masterclass in creating Topics so magnificently unintelligible that the concept of “topic” itself becomes irrelevant. But do not trouble yourself, Gamma. The moment you click away from this Topic you will already begin to feel lighter. You will recall that you never believed in any of that fate codswallop, because you alone are master of your own ellipses and capital letters. Remember? Here, have a cookie. By the time you finish it, you will feel as you always do: perfectly, unmistakably Gamma, right as acid rain.

Within that sphere of positivity we should go off on some expanded diatribes about how air pollution in urban centers around the world is going to reduce human lifespan by at least 20% over the next two decades. And then we can talk further about all the micro plastics and other harmful chemicals embedded in everything that we ingest. If you think about it, we can barely even breathe or drink water anymore without putting ourselves in tremendous danger.

Infinitely the gamma fountain of good cheer. Yet, what a wonderful rant about how the environment on the planet is completely karfookled. But you’re only focusing on one tiny corner of a much bigger cesspool of environmental apocalypse. Floods, droughts, earthquakes, volcanoes, more earthquakes, forest fires, tsunamis, more floods, food shortages, more forest fires, scorched earth, water shortages, forced human migrations, and on it goes. Meanwhile everyone wrings their hands about democratic collapse, civil collapse, economic collapse, even WW3, when in truth Mother Nature’s got a menu lined up that will make all those disasters seem like the bargain-bin option.

Gamma, even though you’re a misogynistic, Trump-loving, home-appliance obsessed, asexual-bisexual riddle wrapped in a paradox in (insert your own pronoun here) form, I honestly can’t bring myself to dislike you. In fact, I’d even say you radiate a strange kind of good cheer, like a captain stoking his pipe and whistling contently to himself while steering the Titanic into the iceberg. There’s a warmth in you, somewhere deep down, just surrounding the anal sphincter, and on the rare occasions that it surfaces, I almost start to believe you might be onto something. But then nearly all your posts descend into such a tirade of whimsically ludicrous territory that I lose track of whether I’m reading philosophy, parody, or the warning section of a user's manual for a 3-speed, AI-powered dildo. Halfway through, I even catch myself questioning my own mental stability, wondering if I’m the one who’s lost the onion and you’re the only sane man left standing. Please tell me, Gamma, is there something wrong with me for not fully grasping your genius, and is there some hidden benefit I should be reaping from your monologues? Or do you think, just maybe, you could try composing a topic in prose for once that would be considered even vaguely intelligible by the vast majority of the human species, as an example, something that isn’t complete nonsensical drivel to 99.9 percent of the literate mammals now habitating on this planet?

TOO MUCH NONSTOP WINNING!

Just like all of your posts. Meeting you in person at the party should be nothing short of spectacular.

Wow, you are just the sharpest tool in the box, aren't you? How wonderful that you can't resist stating the obvious.

Why would you ever want to leave your dingy field hut in that exciting paradise where you reside in the northeast, surrounded by peasants?

Ah, another gem from the troll school flunky.

Political discussions are fully permitted with only two caveats: 1- You can only claim right to being a real MAGA if you're a Yank. 2 - All physical altercations resulting from political disagreements must be conducted outside in the rear of the venue with Bob standing in as MC.

Oh, don't cry now Malcom. It's not very posh. Plus your man-god Nigel wouldn't be very impressed.

Ah yes, the classic Pattaya tosser epic, certainly nothing pedestrian about this bell-end chronicle. Boy meets girl, girl meets barfine, boy meets ATM withdrawal limit. The sightseeing, the seafood, the frog noise stick… truly a cultural exchange program for the ages. Then came the plot twist no one in human history could have foreseen, she asked for money. Astonishing. Heartbreaking. I’m sure Mot remembers you too, much like one remembers a festering groin rash that finally went away with immense relief. Still, two weeks of romance on a Cheap Charlie budget and a masterclass in why “true love” in Pattaya generally comes with a lightening of the wallet is a triumph only in the mind of a proper mug.

It is with the deepest sorrow and most heartfelt regret that I must inform everyone that I will not be receiving the blessings of this event from my presence. I realize the date has not yet been chosen, but please understand that my calendar is already overflowing with commitments of such unmatched importance that they will inevitably coincide with whatever date you end up selecting. Truly, fate can be disastrously cruel. To those of you fortunate enough to attend, I can only imagine the sheer ecstasy you will experience. The venue will undoubtedly be five star, possibly six, and the collective brilliance of those present will surely make it a titillating nightmare to remember for decades, or at least until the dessert is served. One humble request, if I may. Should any kind soul capture a well lit, perfectly centered mug shot of Susan Harris, I would be eternally grateful. Such a masterpiece would hold a place of honor as the crown jewel of my dartboard target collection, where it will inspire many moments of focused joy and athletic precision.

I couldn’t sum up all your posts any better than you just did yourself, even if I tried as hard as you try to make your todger cooperate.

Yes, obviously not. You should choose a different career path, immediately.

Silence from him would be even better.

You are absolutely hopeless. But I just sent a photo of my festering butt rash that won't go away because it reminds me so much of you.

But I was born that way. Misogynist pig!

Incoming nothing burger. It will be nothing but political theatre that will result in poor optics for all parties involved.

I never understood why they allow 70-80 African drug dealers, who are here on fake student visas, to shuffle along Sukhumvit Rod at night trying to sell Class 1 drugs, like coke and meth, but view weed as the problem. Why not focus on getting rid of the hard and dangerous drugs first?

5. You are not OK, but you think you’re OK, and that, my friend, is definitely not OK, because everyone else is right as rain, perfectly OK, but you keep telling yourself they’re not OK, which is really not OK at all, so you’re stuck thinking you’re OK when you really are not OK, not OK, OK, and here’s the kicker, you insist you’re the only one who’s OK, everyone else, in your mind, is some kind of not OK, so you keep repeating that story over and over like a broken record of OK and not OK, and the more you try to prove you’re OK, the less OK you actually seem to be because real OK doesn’t need to shout it out loud, real OK just is OK, meanwhile the rest of us, happily not OK or perfectly OK, just keep rolling along while you’re stuck in a loop of OK and not OK, so you see your OK is a special kind of not OK which is actually not OK but hey maybe you think that’s OK too, confused? Perfectly OK, because that’s just the way the world spins around your OK and not OK dance, not OK, OK.

Divorced 27 years already. Best decision I ever made.

The fact that the Australian refugee in Udon has made it clear he/she is very eager to attend is reason enough to cancel the entire bash. That announcement alone should be more than enough to ensure that no one else will want to show up now. If you do still go ahead with it, likely it will end up being just the two of you. Good luck!

In January 2022, after a U.S. judge ruled that Virginia Giuffre’s civil lawsuit against him could proceed, Buckingham Palace announced that, with the Queen’s approval, Prince Andrew’s military affiliations and royal patronages were returned to the Queen. He was also stripped of the use of his “His Royal Highness” (HRH) title in any official capacity. Do you think if any of the allegations were false that the Royal family would have done any of this to him? Prince Andrew has also been largely excluded from high-profile royal events, such as Trooping the Colour and the Order of the Garter procession, particularly under pressure from Prince William, who reportedly views Andrew’s scandals as a liability to the monarchy. As a non-working royal, he also no longer receives funding for official duties. The settlement with Giuffre in February 2022, reportedly between $6 million and $16 million, included a donation to a victims’ rights charity. In summary, Prince Andrew was effectively sidelined from public royal life, stripped of titles and patronages, and faces huge financial and reputational consequences. Thus, it's hard to imagine the accusations against him are false.