billythehat

7 hours ago, xylophone said:

Things various covered in this particular post although my first few paragraphs relate to the fact that all sorts of people and behaviours can be found in Patong (already mentioned the almost broke bar owner looking at another acquisition!) But here is one I haven't come across as yet, that is until the other evening..........

 

Sitting at my favourite bar with two other friends, looking out over the ever changing colours in Bangla and we were joined by a Swedish couple, the guy being about 40 and good-looking, with his wife having a nice face, large puppies and an even larger figure, a bit akin to the Michelin man.

 

She started talking to me and asked me what age I was, and if I still "f**ked"!!!! I thought it was a strange question and answered it accordingly, saying that at the age of 72 I wasn't as active as I used to be in that area (trying to be diplomatic).

 

She explained that it was her wedding anniversary and that she would like to "<deleted> me that evening and would I like to come with her now and she would get her husband to watch.

I started to think that she was joking, however she was quite serious, rubbing her voluptuous puppies up against my arm and shoulder as she was speaking to me.

 

I really didn't want to answer her that I preferred slim, petite women to those built like the Michelin man, so I would decline her offer, however she was quite persistent and indeed persisted until such time as her husband dragged her away from the bar and up Bangla, all the while she was gesturing for me to follow her.

 

The only other incident which comes anywhere near it was quite a few years ago when I was dining with my live-in girlfriend at the time and a good-looking Australian couple asked me if I knew of anyone who would be interested in joining them for a threesome. I think this was an obvious hint towards my very attractive g/f.......so I suggested that if that's what they were after they should approach a few bar girls and that would surely find one who would oblige, if the price was right.

 

 

Sir, I fear you missed an opportunity here to try the M!lf experience. I’m a firm believer for the saying ‘any port in a storm’ and should Helga make another appearance, I suggest a few more ales and a pair of thick rose-tinted glasses – available at most Patong tourist outlets (& possibly a parachute.) Tuck in; it’ll be top bragging rights when next meeting up with the boys for a few scoops. 

could be worse...

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-49793047

16 hours ago, xylophone said:

555......no LiK I was really referring to the post by hansgruber when I said that, and I haven't been there for about a couple of years.

 

The last time I considered going there was a few months ago when I just fancied some fish and chips, which they used to serve and which weren't bad, so I wandered down to the restaurant and looked at the menu and found out that they'd stopped doing them, this along with a much reduced menu, so I came home.

 

On a related subject, tonight I will be meeting up with a friend in Bangla and eating at my favourite Italian restaurant, Salute!

 

When one door closes another one opens!!!!

 

…and whilst you’re there, ask Luigi if he’d be so kind as to Fish & Chips to the menu…you’ll never have to dine anywhere else ????. Pa used to add a splash or 2 of beer to his batter mix when we were wee bairns and it would make a lighter, crisper coating to the fish. Hand-cut chips of course, finished with a generous application of the vinegar from the pickled onion jar. We looked forward to Fridays then, aye.

On ‎8‎/‎12‎/‎2019 at 8:26 AM, xylophone said:

I must have seen the "bad ones" then because in general the build quality where I live (around Patong) is and has been abysmal.

 

And as if to back that up some buyers of apts/condos here whom I know are experiencing major leaks in their places, and they were not cheap ones either.

 

Sad to hear that lives have been lost.

Sir, I agree with your comment about build quality as my own professional observations on such concur with the sentiment. About 10 years ago I was chatting to an American chap who was in the process of constructing a new hotel in Patong. He showed me some plans and after about 5 minutes I asked if these were preliminary sketches; “No, these are the ‘For Construction’ set” he said. I enquired as to where the dimension, levels, specification for the piling, etc. were. He just stared at the ceiling.

One thing I’ve noticed in a few of the comments posted on this thread is a common misunderstanding of the construction process and general structural design elements. Yes, I know that many are laymen and are just throwing in their 2 bobs worth and there’s nowt wrong in that. Not having the drawings or calculations to hand, all we have is a few photos of the collapse and some folk staring and pointing, so here’s my 2 cents.

One poster mentioned about the failure of the rebar; the beams are a composite beam of rebar and concrete where the rebar gives tension strength to a concrete member which is weak in tension but strong in compression. The failure was not caused by failure of the rebar but by a process known as disproportionate collapse whereupon the design loads are not supported adequately by the frame structure/foundations. Another comment was about the dead load of the rebar being a factor; this is unlikely as the cross-sectional area of rebar in a beam is normally in the range of 0.12 – 0.15 (min) of the total cross-sectional of a beam at that point. More likely is that the formwork was not adequately designed for the floor spans between the main structural columns. From the photos I noticed from one of the collapsed floors that steel mesh had been used instead of loose structural bars, usual for large floor spans. We usually only specify mesh on small or ground slabs to give structural support and to control cracking where loads are not excessive. So, poor design, materials and dire site supervision may be the order of the day amongst many other reasons in this instance. A few incumbents here also draw comparisons to some failures that have occurred in outer-earth but forget to mention that in outer-earth you can at least get something done about it.

On 7/12/2019 at 1:13 PM, xylophone said:

Hab snip:

Last word on the situation whereby farangs go back home to try and earn some money to prop up their flagging finances. Personally I can't see it working because ploughing money back into the very business in which they've invested their hard earned money in in the first place, and which has now run out of it, hardly looks likely to change, or at least change in a way that they can do something about – – so that money, unless things change quite markedly, will also disappear and that leaves these small business owners in a quandary because they have to have money to live here and if the business goes tits up, what is left for them, this especially if they have a family to support and have to get the necessary funds in order to get a retirement extension.

 

For poor folks like this, the future doesn't look too rosy unless fortunes turn around for them and more importantly for Patong.

At the same time, one has to accept you can’t fix dumb in such circumstances. Unlike yourself, Pops, Dutch and a few others incumbent there, these folk have had little or no real idea of how to run a business anywhere, let alone in Lalaland and it’s not all down to falling arrivals; over-supply may seem a major factor to name but a few. I agree with you about some going home to support the failed/failing businesses in Lalaland – indeed a poor business model.

21 hours ago, schlog said:

Hab snip:

A little bit walk isn't that bad for most bar girls nowadays with their belly.

Aye, expect the price of wife-beater tee shirts to soar over the next few months, especially xxx-large. 

6 hours ago, xylophone said:

Hab snip:

 

Probably my last post for a while as I will be heading off to Blighty (Sussex actually) on Saturday to catch up with some old friends and revisit boyhood adventure places, all this probably for the last time as I have no real reason to go back again after that.

 

I have teed up a meeting with my best friend at junior school, and his sister, and have a big surprise for them because although nobody knows it, I am their cousin, by virtue of the fact that their father's brother decided to get his leg over my unmarried birth-mother when she was 19 and I was the result. Everything was hushed up and I was adopted out and strangely enough I became good friends with both this boy and his sister over the years so no doubt we will have much to discuss after they have gotten over the shock.

 

Sir, I suggest you pack some extra togs, say, some fur-lined thermal knickers (x-large) for your adventure back to Outer Earth as it can still be a wee bit chilly at night and in the early morning. Beautiful green forests and proper roast dinners await juxtaposed to a political climate akin to any Marx Brothers film. Safe journey.

7 hours ago, xylophone said:

OK, fair enough stevenl...........didn't realise I had said "days on end". 

Unfortunately, the dear chap was unable to grasp your metaphor as a figure of speech containing an implied comparison. Agree with you regarding the allocation to coral those intent on overdoing things to a purpose-built area. I suggest something along the theme of ancient Rome Gladiatorial games, all nations/races welcome including the Welsh, Bogans and yes, even the Dutch. A whole day of fun for the family and just remember that anywhere else in the world you have to pay to go to the zoo; here it’s all free! I’ve been in Bangkok many times during Songkran and noted that it was a far more fun and gentler affair compared to the rabid hillbilly festival on Phuket

44 minutes ago, Lashay said:

Well day later and nothing. So either april fools or his friend is getting fed bullshit so a visa agent can make a sale

Sir, your agent query was answered on #1030 – no agent is required or indeed a fat brown envelope. I spoke to my friend this morning, but I fear he is already developing the debilitating symptoms of the Thai expat. He has become grumpy, aggressive, no sense of humour and almost tone deaf to the reality of what is going on around him. He’s also mumbling about his time in the Nam jungles and I have to gently remind him that he was actually a beat-bobby in Eastbourne. I’ll call him later when his meds have kicked in and get an update on the visa issue. The clarifications of visas after Brexit was bought up in Parliament but the upper class twits droned on for so long nobody could remember what the actual question was…”Ordur ordur…the right honourable gentleman for Nimby West…Blah blah blah… Ordur ordur… Blah blah blah… Ordur ordur…” and so on for the next 3 years…

3 minutes ago, Richard Kuklinski said:

@ Lashay and phuketrichard.

 

"April Fools."    ????

Au contraire, it was just unfortunate to fall on that day.

51 minutes ago, phuketrichard said:

LINK please otherwise

fake news

Sir, I will contact him later today about the source of the information and get back to you. I’m currently burdened with work for the next 3 hours.

1 hour ago, Lashay said:

Fail to see how Brexit could have any bearing on anything here.

 

And last one sounds far to similar to British "Life in the UK" test to be real.

 

Though do find the mental status one funny, be good way to empty places like pattaya out of expats.

 

TLDR: I call bullshit and your friend should tell his agent the same.

Sir, my friend is a retired Police officer with 38 years service. He’s been sniffing out BS for years and has paperwork in hand from the relevant source and is merely passing on the information – you do not need an agent here. See my reply to Richard, below.

11 hours ago, xylophone said:

Yes and have got the letter from my Embassy thanks Joe........and just wondering if the Immigration dept at Patong can transfer the extensions rather than visiting Phuket town??

 

More annoying is being unable to view my posting history or search out Merijns name as all this stops after 2 pages!!!

 

PS. Looks like Lashay posted the answer re the passport, but where is my posting history?? 

Just heard from a friend here in the UK who is planning to retire in Thailand later this year. He remarked on additional documentation he was to provide along with the normal application to ensure compliance with the latest Thai immigration laws. After Brexit, all holders wishing to apply for retirement visas/other for Thailand will need to have the following documents present when entering the Kingdom:

·         The 800k Baht minimum will stay the same but with one important change. The money will need to sit in a Thai bank controlled by the state and not be available to the applicant until they leave the kingdom.

·         A separate photocard containing a chip which will contain various biometric data on the applicant confirming physical and mental status of the applicant. This card will cost £500.

·         Evidence that the applicant has attended courses in Thai culture and basic language skills. These are available at £750 each and must be attended. No fees are refundable.

You have all been advised and I’m sure there’s more in the pipline.

On 3/7/2019 at 1:25 AM, xylophone said:

Ah the very same girl singer whom I sang with the other night BTH...........I can rattle off Whiskey in the Jar so might have a crack at it next time as the band knows it!

 

Did have a Thai bikkie come up and thank me for singing a Bon Jovi number and he was very pleasant and called me uncle! 

Sir, given your reputation with the Patong females there’s a good chance you may well be his Uncle…????

7 hours ago, SooKee said:

Yeah. Last time I went didn't really warrant an update TBH, would just be repeating your experience. Previously in old Tiger it used to be the last two or three rows towards the back that were empty or closed. Last time seemed to be all but the first 3-4 rows. Just a few of the big front facing bars in New Tiger too.

Couple of new bars seemed to be doing well, Follies for example. Not sure that's still the case. Took the guys down Sea Dragon. SW same as always but, IIRC, Harem was 350 for LDs and the guy who asked one of the girls told me the BF was 3k!! Yikes!!!

3k + 350bt for sip of coke? sheesh…guess nobody has had a word in these lasses’ shell about how to build a successful business model…play the long game and haul the sucker(s) in gradually.

3 hours ago, xylophone said:

Went back today to have a look and the goulash, lasagne, American meatloaf etc all at 59 baht per 100 gm, as were the veges etc to accompany the dishes, and the small sauteed potatoes looked delicious! 

 

As for the Pad Thai, well I make it at home sometimes and by the time I've bought the ingredients incl chicken, prawns, spring onions, tofu, ground nuts, bean sprouts and all that goes in it, it must be getting up there. The Pad Thai I had in the JC foodcourt was smallish and not at all tasty and was around 129-149 baht if I recall correctly.

 

I personally don't mind paying the prices above esp for the farang food (e.g. 118 baht for 200 gm of Lasagne) as IMO it is good value for money.

 

…hmmmm…but what about the service? As good as Salute in Bangla? Can make a big difference to the eating out experience there. Regarding tipping, and it may come off as a wee bit sexist here, but I see it as a compliment to tip a lass for simply having a fine butt; as in the case of the Salute staff. Helps take my mind off the fact that the pasta was not exactly El Dente.

3 hours ago, spidermike007 said:

These are some things that foreigners who come here often do not understand, leading to many of the mistakes the OP mentions.

 

1. There is very little common sense or reason practiced here in Thailand. If it is employed, you will never be able to interpret it as the kind of common sense, and reason you are accustomed to.

2. Thailand is not a foreign country. It is a distant planet. Always keep that in mind. On so many levels, this place does is not familiar. That is one of the things I like most about living here. But, it takes some time to get used to, and I have to remind myself alot, of that reality. Perspective on the place helps alot. 

3. Most Thais are kind hearted, and decent people. Just show some respect. It is their country after all. Do not expect them to behave like you do. Kindness and respect toward the locals goes a long way toward making your stay here really pleasant, and can defuse, or prevent alot of hostile situations. A lack of respect can create the opposite reaction. 

4. Thailand is a very foreign culture. They are one or two generations removed from a nearly total tribal existence. So, alot of traditional values still exist. Expect that. Most are very conventional people, and most live in very small boxes, in terms of lifestyle. 

5. The police are not here to protect you. They do not care one iota about your well being, your safety, or traffic safety. Expect that. Do not employ them, unless absolutely necessary. They operate franchises, and are completely immune to oversight or prosecution. So expect corruption from them, and expect a fleecing, if you give them the slightest opportunity. They are best avoided. Always remember. In Thailand the police do not engage in law enforcement. All they do is revenue collection. 

6. Face can be a real obstacle here. In my opinion, it is the single greatest weakness of the Thai people. They are pathologically afraid of losing face. Personally, I despise this practice of face. It prevents the society from maturing and progressing, on so many levels. Get used to it. If you confront a Thai, they will engage in fierce denial, and most will absolutely refuse to take responsibility for their actions, or admit, and own the problems they have caused, on any level. 

7. If you are going to get involved with a Thai woman, take into account the fact that most are immature and emotionally undeveloped. I highly recommend looking for a woman who is the eldest child in the family. They are given far more responsibility growing up, and it shows. And remember, you are no longer in the West, which means you do not have to check your cajones at the door. Do not behave like you behaved back there. If you do that, she will take over. And take your time. Time is your ally. If it is good, it is only going to get better. If there are real issues, they will reveal themselves over time. Do not allow a woman to push the agenda. Be a man. Push back. Be strong. Do as Bond would do. 

8. If driving, especially on a motorbike, treat the activity as an act of war, in a sense that you may be mowed down or killed at any moment. Maintain eyes in the back of your head. Watch everyone. Expect craziness, insanity, lack of reason, and a complete lack of courtesy and respect on the roads, at all times. Expect cars and trucks to be coming at you in the wrong lane. Expect people to overtake you with the slimmest of margins.
Expect trucks to be driving very slowly in the fast lane of a highway. If riding a motorbike, only do so if you have many years of experience. Especially on the southern islands, where huge numbers of foreigners leave Thailand in a wooden box. Wear the best helmet you can afford. And drive like a grandmother. This applies to ex-pats too. Bring along an international drivers license. This helps you to avoid being fleeced by the local police franchisee.

All good points, although I think you were just warming up to deliver a few more.????

On 1/17/2019 at 11:56 AM, xylophone said:

We are talking about "expensive Phuket" although this very subject of "expensive" is being debated on another thread, however I'll stick with this one for my comments.

 

I think it's been said in one way or another, but Phuket/Patong is as expensive or as cheap as you want it to be.

 

I was out last night with a couple of friends and ate in an Italian restaurant, where the total cost for two entrees, three mains, one side dish and a coffee came to 1260 baht total – – damn cheap in my opinion.

Of course if one wants to eat at food halls and other such places, then they are also very cheap, whereas if one wanted to go to one of the long established seafood restaurants on beach road (and one in particular whose name I shall not mention) you could be quite easily ripped off as regards price and quantity.

 

As it was a friends birthday he wanted to go into one of the go-go joints and although some of the drinks are expensive, especially if you wish to buy one of the ladies a drink, we all had beers at 99 baht each, which when you consider what was on show in an air-conditioned environment, was not bad at all.

 

Another bar had beers at 80 baht whilst the new large Folies bar had a very small rum and coke at around 180 baht, which was expensive in my opinion, but another downside was that we were surrounded by four girls who all wanted a drink, for no other reason than we were there!

 

Another bar had a rum and coke at 190 baht.............and so on. It really depends on what you are looking for and where you want to go, and normally you would expect to pay higher prices for those large bars where you get some form of entertainment, whilst at the everyday beer bar, prices can be quite competitive.

 

I think that is why I would never normally label Phuket/Patong as expensive, because if one is on a budget, then holidaying here is no problem with regards to cost, provided one looks around and uses a modicum of common sense. On the other side of the coin, you can blow as much baht as you want if cost is not an issue.

Personally, I don’t really mind paying a few bob more for a meal if the quality and service justify, within reason, satisfy the package. When last over, I was in the company of a fine young-at-heart gentleman (sic) from the old country and eating at Salute, off Bangla. I regularly eat quality Italian fayre and was pleasantly surprised at the quality of the nosh presented, complimented by the attentive service and reasonable cost; and there’s the rub, my requirements for a meal out were met – I wasn’t there to save a few cents, I was on holiday. Possibly a message for Thai owned restaurants here that are complaining about ‘no hab customer’; have a quality well priced product with good service would help – 2 out of 3 won’t work in the current environment.

42 minutes ago, Psimbo said:

Hab snip:

people don't want to hang around that late to get laid.

Agreed and who’s ever made a sound decision about any lass when it’s 1:30am and you’re staring at the world through a well-oiled set of beer goggles? A note about those apps; has anyone here seen a profile photo that matches the date that actually turns up? ????

On 1/14/2019 at 6:52 PM, DrDave said:

Agreed. Anyone buying the contract for that soi with the intent of keeping the current configuration is going to find themselves in a negative cashflow situation from the get-go.

How many of those empty/closed bars are paying their rent each month?

As you say, the only hope for that soi seems to be a total re-development into something entirely different. But then, who's going to invest that kind of re-development money when they have only a 10 year lease?

"How many of those empty/closed bars are paying their rent each month? "

 According to the bar keep I spoke to, one has just walked and took the loss.

"As you say, the only hope for that soi seems to be a total re-development into something entirely different. But then, who's going to invest that kind of re-development money when they have only a 10 year lease?" 

No one of sound mind but this Lalaland and there’s always another mug on the next plane in. Dunno how it works there, but is the offer from the leaseholder flipping his investment or the freeholder re-selling the lease?