syd barrett

I shall be cooking a full traditional English Christmas dinner;

Roast Turkey

Roast Potatoes

Boiled Potatoes

Carrotts

Broccoli (couldn't find sprouts)

Stuffing

Tiny sausages (baked)

Home made gravy

Cranberry Sauce (Did find that!)

Drinks List:

Chang Beer 2003, chilled

Gin and Tonic, (without ice from 7-11) (causes the sh1ts)

Red Wine (cheap stuff with an Australian postage stamp on the bottle)

Present List:

Latest Nokia Mobile Phone for the little lady (cost a fortune, had to buy it drunk, by visa card)

Alien Box set for me, all four movies.

Sleep, then drunken Christmas carols on the kareoke vcd, then burst eardrums with the little lady singing Isaan stuff...Ginter La the name good looking girl... 26th December...Yippee Football...Three matches Live.

Predictions: Charlton Chelsea....WIN Chelsea

Liverpool Bolton......WIN Liverpool

Man Utd Everton.......WIN Everton, UTD players all hung over because too much money, low IQ's, daft wives and gambling/drug/sex addictions...Hope you are reading this Fergie!!!!

For those with tourist visas (60 day) a 30 day extension costs 1900 baht, for those with a thirty day arrival visa a 10 day extension is 1900 baht.

I have spoken to many who are here for 31-39 days who have gone to immigration, and been told to pay the overstay charge of 200 baht a day at the airport. So for 34 days this would be 800 baht (a decent saving over 1900 baht).

However, if you are caught as an overstay, or have a problem, accident etc, your passport is checked and bingo- you have a big fine/court/jail etc.

Surely it is irresponsible for immigration to suggest an overstay option at 200 abht a day. Even if you have to pay 1900 baht for ONE day! At least then you are within the law.

I am 100% sure that if you did intend to overstay and pay the 200 baht per day at the airport, and you ran into trouble, it would be no defence to say 'immigration told me to do it'.

Surely if official immigration is recommending overstay they should provide the person making extension plans with a note, saying roughly: 'This bloke came to immigration for extention but we told him to pay the 200 baht a day overstay at the airport because it is a lot cheaper'.

Does this make sense?

Have you read P1P's page about diarrhea Wilson? It might give a few pointers.

I read about coffee enemas somewhere, but check that out before you attempt it!

Nice informative post P1P. Immodium stops minor diarrhea but I agree it's better to get the badness out, I ususally drink lots of tea and eat bananas, to cure my belly-rot.

Chang beer is best for drinking competitions, it's not too gassy and has less of the chemicals that Singha has, Heineken is just coloured water and Carlsberg has a funny banana flavour; beats me why it is so popular?

No my chest and back are not hairy, but I shave my girlfriends pubic hair every two to three weeks, it makes things more hygenic for some of the disgusting things that we get upto.

A mate of mine had a ridiculously hairy back and we used to call him monkey man until he went mental and paid a fortune to have it burnt off by laser beams.

Steroids shrink the penis and make you aggressive.

Weightlifting gives you haemerroids. (piles in old money).

Why bother?

Why not buy loads of benzodiazapines and chill out for days on end?

My Belly measurement I do not know; however I have a massive beer belly, rather like a space hopper! The girls love it, it's just like a bouncy castle in the morning!

I am not a Manchester United fan. I loathe and detest Manchester United, I also loathe and destest their manager, who will resign next year! (More info to follow).

I believe Rio is a casual drug user, cocaine clears from the (body) system in 48 hours. Far better to miss a test, lie low and say you forgot. He is dim, Manchester United know he is dim, his IQ is around 106. He is lucky. He has a fine of a weeks wages and an eight month ban. Personally I would prefer to hear from his supplier in the News of The World.

It will all come out, just like Fergie, both their days are numbered. Trust me I know.

Pongster, I do mean small bottles, and I am 6 feet four inches. I think the small bottle is 330ml and the large bottle 640ml (CHang) that is!

Red Horse Beer in the Philippines is 9%

Beer Chang here is 6.4% and I managed 32 bottles in a long distance event with friends. I have no benchmark, was this good?

Looking forward to the next long distance event, the only side effects last time was the bar moving 45 degrees left in my field of vision.

SB.

Does anyone know of any beer drinking competitions in Thailand. Well organised events with strict rules?

The two types of event I am interested in are:

A) 'The Sprint' a set time limit, usually one or two hours, where as many bottles of beer are consumed as possible within the time limit.

'The Long Distance Event' where there is no set time limit, the winner is the one who drinks the most bottles of beer in a single sitting.

I am only interested in Beer Drinking competitions as wines/spirits is dangerous.

I am the current 'Red Horse Beer' long distance champion of Manila; Beat that!

Ripleys I am available if you are interested?

SB

I have had a number of electrical shocks off electrical appliances in Thailand, first my computer chassis, then a particularly nasty one off my microwave oven chassis. I reckon if I'd had wet feet, I'd be dead.

My conclusion is the two-pin system. All power appliances should have an earth (ground). It even says in the microwave instruction manuel; 'This appliance must be earthed' yet it came as a two pin plugged item.

I can't very well change all the electrics here to three pin, anyone have any suggestions? Surely there are some electricians out there with a bright idea, or will I have to craft a pair of slippers out of porcelein, or wear gum boots.

Yours in a highly charged state,

SB (is this a moslem smile?)

I was on a motorbike as a passenger and got stopped for no helmet. I refused to pay 200 baht, so they took me off the bike and asked me which hotel I was staying, I gave a false hotel and said I would bring the 200 baht tomorrow, they said no way, so I said I would go to an A.T.M. but I wanted a receipt. They let me go. They (The Police) always keep the money it is a perk of the job, but if you have time you can piss them off and get away without paying. Most times, it is too much hassle and easier to pay up.

Slice a trunk of banana plant 1.5 inches thick, wrap with banana plant leaves, using bana plant stems as ties. Attach flowers by sharpening their stems and pressing them into the banana plant trunk, add dimes/nickels/cents and joysticks and then float off into your nearest lake/tarn. Be sure to make a wish as you float you Kratong, preferably an altruistic wish. Good luck!

When I go to a Thai pharmacy and ask for medicine I get authentic, brand named pills and potions, stamped or embossed with the makers name.

When a Thai goes to the pharmacist with a common complaint, eg. aches and pains etc. they come away with unmarked pills, clearly unmarked costing 20 baht for half a dozen. I guess they are coloured chalk/placebos, but it seems wrong that this practise is allowed. Surely all tablets should be packaged with their generic/brand name and surely it is wrong to fob Thais who are short of cash, off with absolute rubbish pills and potions.

I would be interested to hear your views, except for the poisonous goblin;THE MOOG.

S.B.

Notes on 'THE MOOG'

When I started this topic, it was done so in good faith, an intelligent piece about Khatoey in Thailand. If you are not interested, don't read the post and don't bother to post a reply.

'THE MOOG' has posted several replys, all poisonous, berating my post, first saying he wanted this to be an exclusive ex-pat forum etc. Then he posted even more absurd posts, it seems he cannot let the matter drop, yet he was the one who pooh, poohed this original post.

Here are some facts about 'THE MOOG':

His opening topics have always been absurd;

18 Nov: 'Clampdown on Thai nud_e Tits'

29 Nov: 'Homoeroticism in English Language Teaching': A particularly nasty, homophobic posting of no worth whatsoever. It received many strong and intelligent rebukes.

3 Dec: Another absurd topic about 'Dental Treatment' which was quite simply pathetic.

27 Nov: Yet 'THE MOOG' has enough energy to consider learning 'Muay Thai' boxing in Bangkok. A red herring post I fear.

I suggest that 'THE MOOG' is a poisonous goblin who hounds every decent and upright contributor to this forum. I think he has second sight, as his signature is 'SAVE THE MOOG'.

It might not be much longer until 'THE MOOG' is removed from this fine forum.

Yours sincerely, SB.

Since I arrived in Thailand for the first time a few months ago I have been amazed at how many ladymen there are. They are in every town and city, they are entertainers, boxers, models and bar(girls). Why so many?

In the U.K. a very small percentage of the population are born with a 'feeling' they are in the wrong sex body and take hormones and eventually have a sex-change. I don't know the percentage, yet it is very tiny.

In Thailand it seems that the percentage is a great deal higher. I cannot believe for one minute a man becomes a ladyman for financial reasons. So why so many?

Are they by chance Gay men (the submissive 'receiver' or passive partner) who believe they should be a women? Even this theory does not hold well because in the U.K. there are many Gay men who are the passive partner yet are proud of their masculinity.

I have tried to discuss this with Thais, and the feedback I get is that this is not a sexuality issue, more of the 'born in the wrong sex body' dilemma. I have been told that potential future ladymen often display a feminine tendency from an early age. eg. small boys playing 'girly' games with girls instead of rough games with the lads.

My conclusion might be incorrect, but I suggest that there is a genetic link to gender dysphoria. What do YOU think?

Why buy property when you can rent? It makes no sense to buy. If you really want to buy, whats wrong with a condo? This elite card thing is a swizz, anyone seen a fake one yet?

If I could get my hands on one I'd put on a suit, pretend to be a V.I.P. and get a five year multiple visa, thats the only good thing about it!

Intelligence runs in the genes just like diarrhea!

For Trink to work for Thai visas page he must be brave,

But for extra courage use Burma Shave.

Here is an email sent to me this week; Take a Mosey;

Dear Trink,

I am an oil executive for Nigeria National Oil Company and have inherited Oil shares valued at 50 Million US Dollars, I plan to cash these shares and transfer the funds by telegraphic transfer to a U.K. based bank. If you can help me I shall reward you with 20% of the total funds transferred that is 10 Million U.S. Dollars.

Please forward your bank account number and a telephone and fax number so I can commence the transfer immediately.

(One Week Later) Punter has wired 5 thousand pounds of own money to 'set up' the deal. He loses his money and phones Nigeria to complain. He gives his home address and the Nigerian assures him he will courier the money back to him.

Ten minutes later two large Nigerians bang at the door dressed in suits with two large suitcases. They enter the punters house with big smiles. Once inside they

strangle the punter, kill him ritually, dissect the body and remove certain organs for Black Magic Mumbo Jumbo use in Africa. The organs are lovingly put in glass jars and put into the suitcases.

The Headless, Limbless punters torso is then wrapped in carpet, and thrown into the river Thames, later to be discovered by boat police, who also find a small sack containing ritual candles and large hand painted magical phalluses made out of wood.

Warning; don't respond to these scam emails!!!

I'm a big fan of Bob Dylan too, best album Blood on the Tracks and the Anthology stuff, I used to reckon Blonde On Blonde was the best, but I played it to death. Jethro Tull, all great stuff, especially Thick as a Brick.

A few underated masterpieces; Songs for Beginners: Graham Nash and Underwater Moonlight by the Soft Boys.

I haven't bought a modern CD release for years, I bought a Paul Weller CD about five or six years ago but I think it's disappeared.

One of these days I'll transport all my vinyl over from the U.K. but probably bit by bit by air because they are so heavy.

P1P, yes I will double check the lyric again, I haven't got the CD today (Animals) but I'll listen tomorrow, I'm sure I'm right, but if you have the LP there have you listened?

Happy listening all

Pink Floyd fans meet up on the first Saturday of every month in Bangkok, full details of this can be found at:

pinkfloyd.meetup.com

This months meet up has been cancelled due to lack of support, so hopefully it will go ahead January 3rd 2004.

It seems there are a few Floyd fans among us, P1P I see has posted a Roger Waters lyric, although sorry to be a pedant P1P it should read;

'If you don't care what happened to me'

I read Trinks column in Bangkok Post on a Friday, and it's not much good really, I could probably compile a list of events around Bangkok and Pattaya, if people sent me emails of events. The odd funny story or phrases are all donated via email and I'm getting sick and tired of those Burma aftershave quips, in fact here: I'll make one up;

Out on the cop, and ready to rave,

Splash with Burma After Shave.

Here is a wise saying;

After evacuating your bowels, wash your hands-Syd Barrett 2003

Heres a letter from Clinton Sounds;

Dear B.T. My girlfriend has a sick buffalo, blah blah blah, my brother needs new spectacles blah, blah.

B.T. Well I'll take that as read than.BUT I DONT GIVE A HOOT!!!

www.expatboxes.com is where you can buy Christmas pudding from.