StreetCowboy

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Westerners are usually big.

there are 3 seats in the back of an average taxi ,i think most westerners could squeeze themselves in

The driver'll stop and throw you out if you start squeezing yourself when you're in a taxi.

Not such a problem in a tuk tuk, wehre you might unexpectedly come out onto the main road

SC

If writing in all capital letters is considered shouting, what is the equivalent for writing without capitalisation, in all lower case?

Is that mumbling?

Should we regale them with cries of "Stop mumbling, man! Speak up - I can't make out a word you're saying", just like my dear old mother would say.

SC

I would never correct someone's grammar; oh no, not ever, if there was the slightest opportunity to sarcastically misinterpret it in a wildly obtuse direction, hopefully derailing the thread entirely.

Whilst we're on the subject of comedians, I find Billy Connolly's swearing generally over the top, and not funny in itself, unlike his audiences. I generally don't expose myself to culture these days much, anyway, except if the dishes have been left in the sink too long

SC

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Look what a quick google search has revealed....

http://scottishsocie...co.uk/page9.htm

Well I'll be blethered!

Blether me backwards with a brass band bassoon.

He's been by before you... or is he following you?

I don't want to make you paranoid, but it might be as well drawing the curtains before you log on this evening...

Are you going to post them a link to this thread - this bog of bleating bovine bores, to encourage them to enjoy their island in the sun?

Is it really like Arran? Though, obvoously, much smaller...

SC

Crime: Reading this topic

Punishment: Drink any alcoholic beverage you can find

Blast! It's a bevvy bully banging on about imbibing beer by the bucketful.

SC

So the barman said to me "so have ever wished you had an identical twin?"

I replied "You mean, would I like a double? Make it glenfiddach, then"

I meant to post that on the "Swapping Panini football cards" ...

...

Last night , as I was caught up in this euphoria ,I was considering renaming myself as "thebladder" , in homage to the idle banterer.

That's a belter, buddy.

At first I thought you were taking the piss.

SC

Three blethering blaggards!

No..hang on...make that four medicated members...

Bleat here! Are four members like forearms?

They are closely connected...especially on the teenage forums....

Babes blethering in the boondocks? Does Thai Visa have teenage forums (fora, by the bye)?

I thought you were not allowed to join unless your beer gut was over 18.

I checked "blether" on the famous quotations sites, and this one was't there yet

"You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink

You can beat a horse with leather

But you'll have to let him blether"

SC

Three blethering blaggards!

No..hang on...make that four medicated members...

Bleat here! Are four members like forearms?

I've missed out my medication this evening...

SC

... (sorry - someone had to go...)

The theblether apologizes for antagonizing the less tolerant members of TV, the theblether agrees that there seems to be an influx of topics of lesser virtue.

The Crime...................encouraging malcontent's to post vitriol on the General Forum.

The Punishment.........a commitment to post some more stupid topics on said forum.

At this point several members are shouting noooooooooooooooooooooo!!

But theblether insists.........it's the least he can do.

ps. theblether is very lacking in self awareness, but theblether is not aware of it.

Thou dost blether a lot .

I wasn't aware of that

Nothing wrong with a bit of Blethering

Better blethering than bitter bleating

by the bye, boys.

SC

or bilious <deleted>

bombastic boastings bad...

I prefer Soi 33 for the rugby...

Tenderloins on Soi 33 does a good presentation.

The Office on Soi 33 is the only place that seems to take European rugby league seriously.

I'll be watching from behind the sofa again

SC

Remove all Farang that will not accept that they do not make the rules here.

Remove all Farang that believe that everything is perfect in Thailand and nothing should change.

Remove every alternate farang on an arbitrary basis, without reason, cause or justification.

Force people to wear clownfeet.

Encourage more daft ideas.

SC

A bunch of our lads came up, and I've not seen them since ...

admittedly, my fault, not theirs...

SC

Make barfines illegal.

Legalise prostitution and outlaw streetwalking and soliciting

SC

http://www.dangerous...les_played_punk

George from the Styngrytes .

TOPS!

Thanks for that

SC

Takes me back to happy days pogoing with midgets punching me in the knackers (no malice intended), and me the only fella not wearing a white tee shirt (unless we was all there...)

I went to see the Styngrites in Valentinos (I think) Tollcross, Edinburgh; the stage was in a wee alcove, so it was like being on TV...

They supported these boys in the place right next to Tollcross clock, and knocked them into a cocked hat, in my humble opinion...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H-nuXlonTh8

I don't remember the Kings looking so young...

SC

SC

I have also heard that according to Thai law, a taxi driver has to take every fare.

.

That is simply not true, and I get tired of the same old cliches trotted out time and again.

No taxi driver ANYWHERE in the world has to take any fare. They are independent businessmen - completely free to accept business or not. They are not slaves.

And so it should be. I mean if i were to drive a taxi i would not want to go straight in a heavy traffic area that would give me grief after i dropped my passenger. Id loose money.

Well, the legislators choose to differ. In HK, and in Thailand, I understand that a taxi is obliged to take you to your destination if it is within his area of authorisation. The only exception, in HK, is taxis at certain designated ranks, who can decline fares that are not going across the harbour.

This rule allows people who work in congested areas to get taxis to work. The taxi is recompensed by acruing a time charge as well as a distance charge.

SC

@Naam - it can close the door, not open it. A simple answer to the Honkies who just do not think their part of the deal is to close the door. .

Wrong. They also open the door automatically. I use HK taxis every single work day.

Well blow me down - 4 yrs I never noticed that. Mind you, if I was getting into a taxi it was usually either half cut walking up to one opening the door and jumping in before they knew what was happening. Stunned by this

Many a night I stumble down the escalators from Phoenix's Happy Hour, onto Caine Road and hail a cab heading towards . . ummm . . Lockhart Road. Each time the door is waiting open for you. Mind you, after three Phoenix Martinis, it needs to be

Ah - Lockhart Road - the bathroom fittings capital of the South China Seas. I know it well.

I went there with my daughter once, for lunch. We'd arrived early, so I thought we had just time for a beer, but the only pubs open at 11.30am were the ones that were still open, rather than open already.

I think we went to the Old China Hand, but luckily I didn't know anyone there.

I can't remember if we got there by tram or by MTR, but certainly not by taxi.

they open the doors for you on the train as well, by the way

SC

SC

I always thought Davis had constipation back in the day. Mind in black and white it would be difficult to tell if he had let out a smelly one...especially as the sound was fuc_ked on my old telly...

So, hard to tell if he was emitting from the brown at all, I've met Steve a few times (the company I worked for sponsored him for a year or two) Interesting guy, fantastic collection of Blues records, got into trouble one day as he was meant to do a press the flesh event for us and instead we disappeared for a few hours working on the Access DB he had started...... gawd, laugh a minute.

People thought of him as boring, but in fact he had a keen interest in databases and no doubt could wax lyrical thereon. I can well imagine you and Steve creasing yourselves with referential links and secondary keys while the flesh waited pressing. I find it hard to stay away from the fleshpots myself, no matter what database I have to occupy my thoughts

SC

. . . and in a Thai context:

Octogenarian meets teen, octogenarian believes he is hansum and falls in love with the girl, octogenarian looks after girl, her seven children from previous relationships, her Thai husband, her parents, two buffaloes and seven alcoholic, gambling brothers and their children - - all with his old-age pension.

In that case everyone wins. The octogenarian gets something he wouldn't have otherwise and he helps a whole family in the process, and everyone ends up happy. When you get close to the end you can't take your cash and possessions with you when you finally expire. The best way is to spend you last dollar an hour before the doctors pronounce you ready for the oven.

You seem to have a lot of faith in doctors...

quoted from "The Death of Mary Queen of Scots", Monty Python

"Ah think she's deed"

"No Ah'm no'"

Scuffles

"Ah think she's deed"

Silence.

That's why they put a bell in the coffin....

SC

Hum...

All of this is small experience, I guess that defamation hardly brings anyone to a court, but of course there are many examples thrown to the face to help us to shut up...

There's another thread on a similar topic in "Out yer box". Anyway, its not just the threat of punishment that restrains us - a spiteful tongue should be restrained, and kept away from the keyboard (?) out of decency as well as fear of the law.

I've actually never been banged up in jail for murder, nor has anyone I know, but I still believe that I would suffer that consequence were I to so err, and that is sufficient deterrent for me. Perhaps you need to suffer every travail yourself before you take it seriously, but I personally heed the advice of others, even if their own experience is also vicarious.

Of course, fear of the law and confidence in its implacable justice is not the sole reason that I refrain from defaming my fellows or murdering them; as I am sure you are aware, I am in fact scrupulous in my moral scruples and adherence thereto...

SC

Gilette SC...Wilkinson is a bloke who gets on his knees and prays to a set of posts...not a religious idol.

Plenty of crime and punishment there I guess....not enough over the years in my opinion!

I love the way he squeezes one out before every goal. His dietician must be a genius. Do you reckon he has to plan his breaks better than Jimmy White (could be a bit or rhyming slang there...)

SC

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I accept the admonishment, I only have 2 - does the private shareholding, generating GBP 25k p.a. of dividends count as planning ?

No you can share the dividends with me for you impudance! ( Well done!)

Sorry, exeter, I exaggerated - the dividends are only GBP 20k, nothing spare to share

One is not much of a man if one does not have a shilling to spare

Unless one does not have a shilling.

SC

Taff33

I suppose you're point, rather than gloating, was to highlight the efficiency and excellence of the UK pension service. Others may have had less satisfactory experiences, but theirs are not necessarily the norm.

SC

There was a recent thread on death threats regarding a chap who was found guilty of defaming a poster's wife. He fled to Australia, and Johnny Walker (or one of his ilk - goodness me, I nearly found myself foul there myself!) persuaded him to post death threats by email = which led to the thread first-mentioned.

SC

I thought they were all on ThaiVisa.

I thrust my way past dozens of them on my morning walks (here I refer to the ones with horns... oh dear, I mean natural horns, not those bestowed by their wives). My toy poodle disapproves of them, and barks at them from about 6 inches away; they just goggle.

Answer to OP's question: most of the rice-growing areas of Isan still have plenty, though they're rarely used for work... just for "beef".

Are we talking about buffalo or water buffalo? I thought that they were different or have I been scammed?

I thought the terms were used interchangeably in Thailand, but that could be bullocks.

SC

Yes , and that is undoubtedly the tastiest cut of the animal .

Surprisingly, for a man in my career, it was a work-related conundrum that drove me to find the word 'elastration'

SC