Khutan

This may help...

http://www.thai-language.com/id/142375

That is interesting...

If my wife found out I was interested in Thai girls she would beat me black and blue.

Because;

If my wife found out I was interested in farang girls she would beat me until I am black and blue.

I don't think there is any chance of wife-swapping there....

It will be more interesting in a few months when Australians can hold up to 60% (I Think) of a Thai Company under the FTA.

I thought those guys just sold enormous amounts of gold or gave huge commissions on "helping" them get their money from another country.

I am disappointed.

Oh, you would want the Toilet Tissue in the refridgerator after that contest.....

My Ex wife went there about 7 years ago and had one performed. She had no complaint about them.

Recently a routine police patrol parked outside a local neighbourhood bar.

Late in the evening the officer noticed a man leaving the bar so

intoxicated that he could barely walk. The man stumbled around the parking

lot for a few minutes with the officer quietly observing.

After what seemed an eternity and trying his keys on five different

vehicles the man managed to find his own car which he fell into. He was

there for a few minutes as a number of other patrons left the bar and drove

off. Finally he started the car, switched the wipers on and off (it was a

dry night), flicked the hazard flasher on and off, tooted the horn and then

switched on the lights.

He moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little and then

remained stationary for a few more minutes as more patrons left in their

vehicles. At last he pulled out of the parking lot and started to drive

slowly down the street.

The police officer, having patiently waited all this time, now started up

his patrol car, put on the flashing lights, promptly pulled the man over

and carried out a breathalyser test. To his amazement the breathalyser

indicated no evidence of the man having consumed alcohol at all!

Dumbfounded, the officer said "I'll have to ask you to accompany me to the

Police station. This breathalyser equipment must be broken."

"I doubt it," said the man, "tonight I'm the designated decoy."

I have also been curious on the same subject. THere seems to be that big earthquake place near where I live in Bang-Na, next door to the Met Bureau.

Dear Audrey:

I know the counselor said we shouldn't contact each other during our

"cooling off" period, but I couldn't wait anymore. The day you left, I

swore I'd never talk to you again. But that was just the wounded

little boy in me talking. Still, I never wanted to be the first one to

make contact.

In my fantasies, it was always you who would come crawling back to me.

I guess my pride needed that. But now I see that my pride's cost me a

lot of things. I'm tired of pretending I don't miss you. I don't care

about looking bad anymore. I don't care who makes the first move as

long as one of us does.

Maybe it's time we let our hearts speak as loudly as our hurt. And

this is what my heart says... "There's no one like you, Audrey."

I look for you in the eyes and breasts of every woman I see, but

they're not you. They're not even close. Two weeks ago, I met this

girl at Flamingoes and brought her home with me. I don't say this to

hurt you, but just to illustrate the depth of my desperation. She was

young, maybe 19, with one of those perfect bodies that only youth and

maybe a childhood spent ice skating can give you. I mean, just a

perfect body. Jugs you wouldn't believe and an ass like a tortoise

shell. Every man's dream, right? But as I sat on the couch being blown

by this stunner, I thought, look at the stuff we've made important in

our lives.

It's all so superficial. What does a perfect body mean? Does it make

her better in bed? Well, in this case, yes. But you see what I'm

getting at. Does it make her a better person? Does she have a better

heart than my moderately attractive Audrey? I doubt it. And I'd never

really thought of that before.

I don't know, maybe I'm just growing up a little. Later, after I'd

tossed her about a half a pint of throat yoghurt, I found myself

thinking, "Why do I feel so drained and empty?". It wasn't just her

flawless technique or her slutty, shameless hunger, but something

else. Some niggling feeling of loss. Why did it feel so incomplete?

And then it hit me. It didn't feel the same because you weren't there,

Audrey, to watch. Do you know what I mean? Nothing feels the same

without you. Jesus, Audrey, I'm just going crazy without you. And

everything I do just reminds me of you.

Do you remember Carol, that single mum we met at Pontins last year?

Well, she dropped by last week with a pan of lasagna. She said she

figured I wasn't eating right without a woman around. I didn't know

what she meant till later, but that's not the real story. Anyway, we

had a few glasses of wine and the next thing you know we're banging

away in our old bedroom. And this tart's a total monster in the sack.

She's giving me everything, you know like a real woman does when she's

not hung up about her weight or her career and whether the kids can

hear us. And all of a sudden she spots that tilting mirror on your

grandmother's old vanity.

So she puts it on the floor and we straddle it, right, so we can watch

ourselves. And it's totally hot, but it makes me sad too. 'Cause I

can't help thinking, "Why didn't Audrey ever put the mirror on the

floor?We've had this old vanity for what, 14 years, and we never used

it as a sex aid."

Saturday, your sister drops by with my copy of the restraining order.

I mean, Vicky's just a kid and all, but she's got a pretty good head

on her shoulders and she's been a real friend to me during this

painful time.

She's given me lots of good counsel about you and about women in

general. She's pulling for us to get back together, Audrey, She really

is. So we're drinking in a hot bath and talking about happier times.

Here's this teenage girl with the same DNA as you and all I can do is

think of how much she looked like you when you were 18. And that just

about makes me cry. And then it turns out Vicky's really into the

whole anal thing and that gets me to thinking about how many times I

pressured you about trying it and how that probably fueled some of the

bitterness between us. But do you see how even then, when I'm

thrusting inside your baby sister's cinnamon ring, all I can do is

think of you?

It's true, Audrey. In your heart you know it. Don't you think we could

start over? Just wipe out all the grievances and start fresh?

I think we can. If you feel the same please please please let me know,

otherwise, can you let me know where the pay TV remote control is.

John

Dr Pat;

If you look close at the spreadsheet I sent you you will see what company I work for.

I have had to travel there about 10 times, and I have been amazed by how little life seems to mean.

Like - Being offered 10 year old girls at a truck stop.

Being offered young girls for free if I bought a Kashmir carpet.

Watching people deficate in the street.

Watching the police fire live ammunition into a Bus Drivers Strike.

Constantly being harassed by beggars.

Having Evian re-bottled and being sick for a onth from it

Need I go on.

BUT I got my own back....

I got to fire 120 of the most imcompetant people I have ever met from the IT industry. Apart for a very few situations the concept of Keek's doing IT work and having any value have nothing in common.

GO ON FLAME ME - I HAVE THE EMAILS TO PROVE IT !!!!!

Just out of interest, is there SPF 15+ moisteuriser available in Thailand.

My wife loves the stuff as it keeps the sun off her face, but we have only ever seen it in Australia.

Anyone have a comment ?

Even better;

Get a Thai to get the loan;

Let the Loan shark hassle the Thai.

Get the Thai to go to the ploice claiming there was no documentation and they thought it was a gift. (From memory consumer finance in Thailand is well controlled)

If the Thai explains to the police how fearful they are of these Keek Criminals, I think from what the wife just said to me, the police would be vigerous in their handing out of justice.

If they lend to a farang, the police may not be too quick to act.

OR

Go 50-50 with the police

Dr Pat;

Thanks, will do. I will let her drive in her typical and worrying manner (Far far too slow).

I am always someone will run up the back of us, but she is worried the car will fall apart if she goes faster than 60.....

Bronco;

Sometimes an influential Poitician can be a BIG advantage.

My residential Address was in Philip Ruddock's electorate.

He was not helpful I think I remember him saying "That is a matter for the department and you come to me as an appeal process"....

Glad I didn't vote for the guy.

Mind you this could be a good opportunity to get one back on our "Keek" friends.

Why not go and borrow as much as you can, then go and complain to immigration.

If they cannot collect the money isn't the debt discharged ????

I asked the same question only last friday of my shipping bloke in Sydney. He is not bad, and gets stuff through fast.

I wanted to bring my Commodore and my Honda XL500 over.

He said in all practicality you must be a motor dealer in Thailand. Hir forwarding agent in Thailand has got all sorts of stuff through but said it was just too hard and the "Invisible Hand" would not work.

So maybe you can find a motor dealer and try to work a deal.

Ok,

the general thing the embassy wants to see is a "Track Record" of Savings. So she must have had the funds probably for at least 6 months if she is coming for a 6 month holiday.

Some important things to consider. Although the immigration hotline in Canberra will tell you that your g/f can come to Australia for up to a year, as far as I know it is unheard of for them to issue a 12 month visa on the first request.

As a matter of course they will issue a 3 month visa for the first time visit.... Annoying that it is. The immigration help-line is very helpful and if you are in Australia you can call them on 131 881.

Generally the rule is they need a minimum of $1000-AUD per month of stay. Now you can get around that, but it takes alot of work. They want to see stuff like you are in a genuine relationship and YOU can support her. If you have a job that pays less that about $50k a year and you don't have much in the way of savings, this also can be tricky. You will need employment letters, emails, phone bills, bank statements etc etc etc and it all has to be witnessed by a JP. My documentation pack was over 200 pages and it also included a CD of photo's and a DVD of home movies..... At the end of the day we got a 3-month visa on the first try, but it took an enormous amount of work.

Gone are the good old days when you could put on a collar and Tie and take yourself, your Birth Certificate and your g/f complete with Passport to the embassy

Finally some guy called Sydney Tom wrote a rather descriptive article for Stickman.... here is the link http://www.stickmanbangkok.com/reader/reader540.html

Anyway Good Luck, you will need it dealing with them.

If you think that getting a visa for Thailand is difficult, it is an absolute cake-walk compared to getting a visa for a Thai to visit Australia.

Was that a recent report, or an old one from about the time of the Rugby World Cup semi-finals ???

May give an insight into his motives.

Thats interesting, with my Thai wife, they just stamped her passport at Prum and that was it.....

Mind you I had to pay a bit.

Rodeoooo;

I will add my 2 cents worth as well. You did not say if Mum lived up country or in Bangkok.

do i bring her a gift?

what kind of gift?

do i bring her brothers/sisters gifts?

what type

she has 2 kids, and i will be bringing them gifts

what kind?

Buddist wedding:

protacol

gift to monk?

present to village / village elders?

Her new apartment:

(willupgrade her apt so i can quit paying hotels)

how much should i pay for a furnished 1 bedroom

with kitchen and hi speed internet access?

Bring her a gift, yes something simple, like as said before some flowers or a handbag. If mum lives in Issan, a bottle of wiskey (Johnny Red) will do.

Borthers and sisters, bring them your good wishes, be polite, quietly spoken and give them nothing else, it sets an expectation.

Her kids a different matter, it depends on the age, generally Thai kids like the same sort of stuff as western kids

Buddhist wedding - didn't have one of those, mine was more informal in the south of Surin, and the monk didn't come. We went to the temple the next day and received a blessing, I think we gave the monk one of those "Monk Gift Packs" and a packet of cigatettes and 200 baht.

Gift to the village - FORGET IT

Apartment, well that is up to you, I pay less than 20,000 a month for a big apartment in Bang-Na, but the closer you get to Soi 1 - 15 the more you pay.

Just some more advice, dress conservatively, and don't let on you have much money - trust me, otherwise everyone will be all over you like mosquitoes.

Matt

Get Drunk, Get laid at least 3 times, stay with the nicest one for 3 days in Pattaya and it will all be forgotten

How can someone so gullible amass 20m Baht.....

Maybe she inherited it ?

I would go and ask at Suan Phlu, and take your girlfriend, and dress nice

Make sure you dress well, talk quitetly and are polite....

What sort of a business are you trying to start, my lawyer set all that stuff up for me including WP for about 55k baht.

Just Amazing how my computer consultancy can sell alcohol and cigarettes....

Then the rest is up to you, but you should use a lawyer, after all advice is only worth what you pay for it