Gazza

I can understand your gf telling the truth as to where you two met to her sister, but to others in the village? I would imagine mentioning working in a bar is something most village girls would avoid doing.

Ask her to stop telling everyone where you met or tell her to make something up.

Just go to the bar before they start work to see what they arrive in. If they're earning the money you say then some or all will be turning up in a Mercedes or BMW.

Actually the girls will have their chauffers drop them off around the corner. From there they get a m/c taxi to the bar giving the punters the impression that they're poor. Remember, the punters are the ones helping them maintain a monthly salary of 350,000 by sending money to the girls when they return back to Farangland.

These bargirls will go to great lengths to pull off the 'Poor Little Isaan Girl Scam' (P.L.I.G.S. to those of us in the know). They'll even go as far as sharing a closet-sized apartment with 4-5 other girls, wear imitation Moschino apparel, wear cheap and gaudy make-up, eat 15 baht pig-on-a-stick meals, and will go as far as doing their own laundry when a punter visits their dwelling. All to give the impression that they are destitute.

My investigative reporter, Oxford Will, has now blown this scam wide open. Remember, you read this exclusive scoop here first!

He's presently on assignment to try and expose Tata Young in her real occupation as a fully qualified pig castrater. Stay tuned.

Gazza

I bet the road from Tak to Mae sot is great on a bike

Not so nice this time of year as you ride mostly in the rainclouds. Great when it's sunny and clear as the R105 is the first real biking road you come to after motoring up the flat and boring R1. Nice views going both ways Tak-Mae Sot-Tak.

Hope to try the Ranong crossing next month. It's really beautiful crossing on the boat. Probably works out about 500-1000 baht more for the trip, but worth it.

Gazza

Cheapest for me from BKK is to go to Mae Sot on the m/c. Takes about 6 hours each way. 5-600 baht each way for fuel. 500 baht Burmese entry fee (tea money?) 30 baht for day pass for a Thai.

A bit tiring doing it in one day, so I usually stay a night in Mae Sot at DK Hotel in a 250 baht fanned room. Plus whatever you want to spend on food during the trip.

Gazza

I think you're on about one of these novelty photo booth pictures. You may have seen the other ones which might be the equivalent of Olan Mills in the UK. Get dressed in traditional Thai garb and they take pro photos of you. I hate it, but women love that sort of thing.

No, this one was from a shop. She told me which one it was as I walk passed there most days of the week. The photo she showed me, she was dressed in a Thai traditional garb and was misty and arty-farty looking

Yeah, I've seen those novelty booth photo places. They have miniscule photos printed out, and then they stick them on their mobiles, purses, notebooks, etc

One of my ex g/fs once gave me a passport sized photo of herself taken at one of those studios located in Future Park Rangsit. At first I wondered why she gave it to me as the girl in the photo looked like Miss Thailand. I had to look twice at her and the photo before I could believe it was one and the same person. It was beautifully done.

Don't know how much it cost her or what package/options/additions she chose but I don't think it would be too much as she's only a factory worker. Probably something like a couple of 7x5s and four passport photos? I dunno.

Gazza

Wouldn't it just be a lot easier if you married persons just went for a private massage every Sunday afternoon. Its a lot cheaper, less risky and you can have a selection of girls.

I always thought you married the one you love, the one you can connect with, relax with blaah blahh etc, then have a bit of what you fancy on the side. Cars, allowances, gifts. <deleted> ell!

MB, I would love to be able to go to a Thai brothel or massage parlour for my nasties. No problems, no emotional ties, no critcisms etc., but I'm not a wham-bam-thank-you-mam kind of guy.

Besides, it would get costly paying for it everyday and there's more chance of picking up crabs and STD's should a condom break.

Anyway, as the great philosopher Homer said : "Why buy a cow when you can get the milk for free?"

btw, that's Homer Simpson, not the Greek dude.

In 1990 I lived for a year and a half in a small village near the banks of the Maekhong between That Phanom and Nakhon Phanom. Having to leave the village every three months to go down to Malaysia for a border run or Penang for a visa used to fill me with dread. After travelling through/to BKK, Hat Yai and Penang, I was always reluctant to want to go back to the village, preferring instead the ability to enjoy the nightlife, farang food, farang company etc. in the cities to the quietness of idyllic country living.

Arriving back at the village it would take me a few days to settle back into village life again. Of course at that time Laos wasn't open to tourism but had they been, I could've done a visa run in a matter of hours instead of 3 or 4 days and would've made life a bit more bearable and cheaper too. There was only one other farang living nearby (15kms) and he was my milkman Haven't been back since but my wife tells me that there's quite a few farangs now living in and around the village.

At that time it was great living there, very few villagers had pick ups trucks, only one land line in the next village, bi-weekly outdoor cinemas were set up in the temple grounds, numerous parties and festivals etc.

Now I'm living in a mubaan on the outskirts of BKK. It's kind of a fusion of upcountry village life and living in the city.

Gazza

Anyway, we recognize that the relationship will come to an end sooner or later and I have even told the mai noi that I would be happy to buy her a wedding present when she mets someone to marry properly closer to her own age than the more than 40 year gap that seperates us. Her allowance will also be continued for another six minths.

How do you expect her to meet someone if she knows you've got PIs checking her out? When the time does come to part, do you think she'd easily find another sugar-daddy like you? I would imagine she'd miss your monthly contributions more than yourself. In which case, when the time does actually come, you'd better make sure that she doesn't know where you live or work.

When I finish up with my mia nois, I gradually stop seeing them over a period of a week or two and have never really had any problems. I don't give them any money or gifts as it's very rare that they'll actually ask for anything anyway. If I think that they know where I live then it may take a little bit longer to break up with them.

Gazza

Try getting a good map like '23 Provinces' made by PN Maps. It will show you all the provinces that you can visit on a 1/2 day trip. Find out where you'd like to go then look for the attractions there that might interest you at this site:

http://thailand.sawadee.com/index.html

Gazza

Man who screws girl on hill, is not on the level.

Remember impact at WTC was not the problem it was the heat that melted the support beams otherwise it would of only been a few floors damaged.

Ref WTC.

Heat from where? All the fuel was burnt off in the initial fireball when it impacted with the building. If there was so much heat after the impact where were the flames after the initial fireball, there was only smoke to be seen that was from burning office furniture.

Don't forget, if there was so much heat to melt the structural beams, why were the passports of the hi-jackers supposedly found in a readable condition.

I wonder why Bush didn't want an investigation into the actual attacks of that day.

Ref Pentagon.

I saw photos and read stories here and there shortly afterward the event about the plane 'hedge-hopping' before smashing into the side of the Pentagon. Yet photos showed tall street lamps undamaged right in front of the building.

It just gets curiouser and curiouser

Gazza

So I'm now thinking of maybe trying the consecutive 30 day visa runs and see if I can get away with it. But I remember how exhausting those were too, every 30 days (actually every 29 days, since they cheat you out of a day). Maybe I will live in Chiang Rai if I choose to try that route.

Exhausting?? From Chiang Mai?? What was the rush for?

I ride from BKK to Mae Sot on my m/c every month and make a short holiday of it. I'll stay a night in Mae Sot and possibly stay somewhere else too on the way back to bkk.

Loong, but they still let you back in for a 4th 30-days?

I done my Mai Sot 30 day run on the 16th Aug. It was the 6th b2b in a row. First one was to Ranong the rest all at Mae Sot.

The only thing that was different this time was, they not only asked for my home phone number again (to write it on the TM card) but they also wanted to know the exact home address.

Now, because there's such a piddly, little, miniscule space in which to write an address, I naturally always shorten it. But the imm. official wanted to know the name of the muubaan and the number of soi it's located on, which he then scribbled onto the TM card.

Gazza

Could be to stop the filling stations selling the cheaper one as the more expensive one ... ?

I think back in England somebody said that deisel for agricultural use was coloured with a red dye because it was cheaper than the prices at the pumps.

91 Red

95 Yellow

Gazza

Try the following.

Luxury Hotel at 350baht. Aircon. Cable TV with good vids on house channel. Clean and I think just recently opened. Stayed there about 2 months ago. AFB extra at 80baht.

So far it's one of the best valued places I've stayed at.

284/1 Sangchutoe Road.

Kanchanaburi.

034 511168

034 512494

It's only a few minutes walk from the war cemetries on the opposite side of the road.

Becareful of cheap places too near the river as the noise from the longtail boats and/or floating discos can send you crazy.

Gazza

Two guys were standing on a bridge takin' a piss. One guy says "Water's cold." The other guy says, 'Deep too.'

Nemesis, please stop eavesdropping on my conversations with my friend.

Gazza

And I don't like sitting because often the water level is too high and my dangly bits sometimes dangle too far! You don't know what you're going to catch!

Maybe you'll catch a Brown Trout?

Personally, I don't really care if the female cleaners do try and get a look it. HeII, so many girls have not only seen it, but have pulled on it, chewed it, waggled it, kissed it, stroked it, rubbed it, stuffed it into naughty places, pumped it, caressed it, milked it, nibbled it etc.

And I should be shy or worried about one female attendent getting a glimpse?

Sometimes I purposely let them have a good look as it get's them to smile while doing a smelly crappy job.

Gazza

Has there ever been a case of a farang passenger being killed as a result of taking a motorbike taxi?

Sounds like a daft question but in 3 yrs I've never heard anything.

Funnily enough, in 15 years in Thailand I've never known anyone to get killed using motorpsycho taxis. Accidents yes, deaths no.

Have heard of plenty of guys getting killed on their own bikes though. Quite a few were killed simply when "just popping out for some ciggies from the 7-11".

Gazza

, gently rolling in the slight swell of the turquiose river Mersey, Ah! I remember it well.

Turquiose? I only remember a yucky grey colour with lots of floating turds and disappointed Everton fans.

Where did you buy your LSD then?

Gazza

"No one is coming to kiss my arse, by the way?"

Well, for me, Thursday evenings are usually set aside for arse-kissing. So I can try and fit you into my diary for the 26th Aug. Say around 9 - 9:30pm?

Gazza

In the language of Bargirlese it converts to;

1 sq wah = Big Nit Noi

1 ngan = Big Little

1 rai = Big Too Much

Gazza

MUM?? You mean PLA DAEK??? You know, that Isaan food dip that has you looking at the soles of your shoes cos it smells like dog shit.

Gazza

The you must be my Pappa! Cause Mommy said he was the only one that ever escaped from here.

Well, if girls tell you that your a 'tiger' in bed then I think your real father is none other than........Rod.

Gazza