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ballpoint

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    Just a quick question. Where did Noah keep the termites?
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    I just saw a woman on TV being interviewed after appearing in the Guinness World Records for the most clothes on a washing line. They asked how she felt. She said it was a lot to take in.
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    If someone offered me £1million to become a cannibal, I'd bite their hand off.
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    Three boys are talking in the playground. The 1st boy says, "My Dad's the fastest man in the world." "How do you know that?" Ask the other boys. "Because he can fire a bow and arrow and run and catch it!" He replies. "That's nothing," says the 2nd boy. "My Dad can fire a gun and run and catch the bullet!". "That's nothing says the 3rd boy, "My Dad works for the Council. He finishes work at 4.30 and he's in the house at 2.00pm."
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    On a recent family holiday to Butlins, I entered my nan in the saggy boobs competition. She not only won it, she wiped the floor with them!
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    One of the best ads ever made...

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