bifftastic

I reckon Im the only person in Bangkok who tries to cure insomnia by reading threads like this.

has it worked?

I had a past experience of buying a house for my now XThai wife when we were married and now she wants to sell it to me again,twice over as I bought it from her sister ,What can I do get a lease or demand money from her now she is living and working in UK?I had some trouble living there before we split up some 8 years ago,also with other Thais with merchettes and local police whom wanted to keep my passport in Chaingrai Office! My x wife and I are now friends,thats all

Machete wielding locals and police that don't like you? Where is it and how much does she want for it? sounds like my kinda place! No wait, I wanted to get away from all that

How well do you get on with 'aunty'? If it were me I'd tell my wife i strongly disapprove and also I'd talk with aunty. Difficult situation to be in, someone in your family doing wrong. It all depends on your relationship with your family as a whole. Do they care what you think? Do they expect you to keep their secrets? Have they spoken to you about it? I've been in the situation where close friends have been cheating on their wife/girlfriend and I've let them know exactly how I feel about it, assuming, of course that it is meant to be an exclusive relationship in the first place!

All I can advise is do what you think is right. Only you know what your relationship with aunty is so only you know how she will react but I would talk with her first rather than just grass her up.

My gf went to deposit her paycheck today and her balance was nearly zero. The bank said it was due to several ATM withdrawals late last night, but she had the card on her and nobody knows her pin number. Bangkok Bank is not helping her at all and when she asked if they have an picture of the person from the ATM camera she was told "You'll need to go ask Bank of Ayudhya, it was their machine." Can't they at least help her out and do that??? F*cking hel_l.... It appears that she is the victim of a fake atm front, or something similar. That's just my guess.

At this point, is there anything else that can be done? She doesn't want to keep any money in the bank now, she is paranoid that anyone can take it away, and I agree. She is very upset about the situation and very pissed off about the way bangkok bank is handling this situation.

Any help or advice is greatly appreciated. The man in the link above (5 year old forum post) said he was able to get his money back from Bangkok Bank, but she is being told that's not possible.

I had the same thing happen to me with the Bangkok Bank. The guy thought I was crazy when I told him someone had taken money out of my ATM account. He insisted it could only be done with my card. At that point, I informed him I was once a Bank Manager and KNEW he is wrong. I hope you have better luck getting a refund than me, I ended up 'writing the money off'

VEASER : GO AND CHANGE THE PIN NUMBER NOW, IF YOU HAV'NT ALREADY DONE IT, That will stop further use of the skimmed card.

Dave

they can skim the card anywhere it's used, they just pretend to drop it then pass it thru the skimmer as they pick it up or put a false front on an ATM, it was popular here in the uK for a while, still happens but not so much.

Maybe the person in the bank just doesn't believe it can happen.

The bank will have a fraud investigation dept. and they will have heard of skimming. Escalate within the bank up to the manager and then go to the head office if you have to. It's important you say (or g/f says) you/she have not authorised these withdrawals, you should get the money back but it might take a while.

Police report you've done or are doing, PIN change yes, but cancel the card and ask for a new one with a different number.

I'm just going through the same sh1t here in the UK. Card cancelled but I can withdraw in branch, if the f*ckers have left anything in there that is!

Commiserations, I know what this is like, pain in the arse!

I reckon I'm the only person in Thailand (and possibly anywhere else too!) who's had a girl who works in a bar go to the ATM take money out of HER account and put it in MY pocket!

My sister ran a pub and often went to the ATM with me, took out my reward for occasionally assisting behind the bar, and left me in town to enjoy myself on a night out......

ok not quite the same girl-bar relationship I'm guessing

I reckon I'm the only person in Thailand (and possibly anywhere else too!) who's had a girl who works in a bar go to the ATM take money out of HER account and put it in MY pocket!

Oh the irony! Immigrants complaining about immigration.

The difference being that the immigrants here complaining are supporting themselves and maybe a family too as there is no welfare system so why would the natives complain as we are barred from doing many jobs and only put money into the pot...

If there was no welfare system in the UK do you think we would be having this conversation and do you think the little old island would be at bursting point with immigrants.... probably not IMHO.

It might not be at bursting point with immigrants (how do you define bursting point btw?) if there were no welfare system, but it would be back to the deprivation and poverty of the 1920's/30's rickets,hunger, high infant mortality, little or no education for the poor, exploitation by employers, slum landlords. People forget the reason why we have a welfare system is because we needed one. Our country treated it's poor and unemployed in a terrible way and even if it is abused by some that is no reason to punish people by removing it altogether. Crime rates, murder, theft, exploitation, drugs, prostitution, all of which are problems now, would increase exponentially if there was no welfare system.

Modern European countries cannot operate sustainably without some kind of safety net for their populations.

The Daily Mail will rot your brain.

I'll offer even 2-1 on, on the old ladies and 5-2 onut, any takers

I'll have a fiver on the ladies

As requested by onnut...here is the picture taken from the roof of his house.

When i first started reading this I imagined a huge pot with a big tree in it.

This thing takes up about three extra feet of the road! I realise they've put it there to p*ss you off and make you have to do a 10 point turn (really I reckon one more turn than normal should do it but you know the soi not me)

Neighbour disputes can be awful and I don't doubt that this has been eating you up but in all honesty I would, if you can, let things be and just do the extra manouvers required to get your car in.

If they want to be ars*holes then let them, show them it doesn't bother you. Maybe too late for that as they, and everybody here, already know it does!

Personally I'd buy another pot and put it next to it then you could pass the time of day with them about how nice the pots and plants look. Either that or moving it when you want to park then moving it back and smiling as someone suggested earlier.

Life's too short for neighbour wars about plant pots mate.

To me, different countries or cultures make no real difference; their are difficulties, yes, but honestly I believe that the original common ground is important, the family element, our environments that we were brought up in (meaning parents), our morals, ethics, abilities, respect, trust and compassion...those are the things that are important...those are the things that start a union off well and then make us happy. When we lower our standards and only consider simply wealth, possessions and image...well, we all know what occurs eventually...

best thing i've seen/read on here. Couldn't agree more. I'd add that these are also tempered by the things that life throws at us. We're brought up with certain values and ideals in individually particular circumstances and these attributes; morals, ethics, abilities, respect, trust and compassion, are then tested by life and our environment. Environments are often very different but human reactions to them are, equally often, very similar.

Thanks mate.

Even in Bangkoks must trendy clubs like Bed they are playing the kind of music that would be playing to chavs in Romford (A London suburb known for tacky nightlife). Not the kind of music any serious music lovers would be listening to in the West End, Hoxton or Hackney.

I know a lot of the club promoters, DJs and owners and even places like Bed Supper Club keeps the music as unchalenging and popular as possible. And Bkk is an oasis of musical enlightenment by Thai standards but compare it to Singapore, Hong Kong or the mighty Tokyo, London and New York it's dead.

very true, I know DJ's who play all over the world, they rate Brazil, Croatia, Russia, Czech Republic, Mexico as places they can play to appreciative audiences who know and love their music. (ok i know there are many people who think all dance music is complete <deleted> but as mentioned before tastes vary) but when I mention Thailand they all pull a face and say 'too trancey, all bang bang nosebleed techno and the DJ's couldn't mix muck for a brickie' (ok that was what one of them said!) must admit I do like the Thai bands sometimes but there certainly isn't the variety available of all music types like there is in many other cities/countries. Maybe living in London I'm spoiled?

I'd love to promote some deep house or tech house stuff in Thailand, I reckon if they could experience a line up of, say, Mr C, Terry Francis, Nathan Coles, Eddie Richards Ritchie Hawtin etc. they'd absolutely love it.

I've got a friend in Bangkok, she goes to all the 'happening' parties and I send her mix CD's of all the above and she absolutely loves them but I think it would be VERY hard work to get a foot in the door as it all seems to be sewn up by what I can only describe as mediocre pop/trance badly mixed.

Surprising for such an otherwise vibrant city.

I flew Air Asia X in September from Stansted (London) to Phuket (via Kuala Lumpur)

It took a bit of shuffling of dates and flight times to get the connections right. They say they're a point to point carrier and do not guarantee connections, so I booked flights that had around 5 or 6 hours between them to make sure any delays wouldn't mess things up too much.

Usual low-cost carrier things like, pay £5 (in advance online) per flight leg for check in baggage, choose your seat and order meals, so you need to factor all that in to find out if you're really saving as much as you think.

I travelled with hand luggage only and was a bit nervous because I've seen threads about weighing hand luggage and refusing to take anything over 7kg (mine must have been at least 12) I did see them weigh hand luggage but the only refusals I saw were people who had lots of check in luggage too. They were told to spread the extra around their checked luggage and pay the excess fees.

In London they asked me if I had any check in luggage and when I said no they just waved me through. I got a bit nervous in KL as they had Air Asia staff before the security scanners stopping people, checking their boarding passes and weighing their carry on bags, but on the boarding pass it shows if you have checked in luggage and I reckon when they see a 'zero' they don't bother weighing it. Presumably because the total weight you're taking on the flight is ok if you don't have checked bags?

Anyway, they didn't weigh mine and it was all pretty smooth going. Their staff were all polite and helpful. 13 hours in a plane is still unpleasant but

considering I saved around £200 (compared to my previous flight with Thai airways) and all the flights left and arrived when they said they would, I would use them again

LCCT in KL was ok, plenty of food outlets, money exchange facilities decent comfy (ish) chairs etc. Immigration was quick and painless (90 day permission to stay in Malaysia even though I was only staying a few hours)

You have to walk from the gate to the plane which is a bit of a trek depending on where the plane is berthed but boarding was all pretty painless too.

All in all value for money.

Hope this helps.

Why is it that most posts on Thaivisa seem to end up with members ripping into other posters about the poor standard writing and grammar?

Do the ones who do the ripping have nothing better to do?

My English isn't perfect, I know that and do not need to be told.

There are many non native English speakers here so maybe we should cut them some slack.

As can be seen above, the OP asked why people rip into others about writing standards and grammer.

Many replies, rather than answering the question posed, saw this thread as an oportunity to talk about they're own personal dislikes in other posters language. They are the loosers.

may I please take this oportunity to say how much of a looser i am?

Thank you

Geez what a cynical lot.

If a Thai woman is cute with a guy in a wedding band, its because of the gold, thus shes on the make. If a Thai woman has more than one phone, shes on the make. If a Thai woman.. *insert any number of things* ..shes on the make...

Ok sorry, a bit extreme maybe, but sometimes i end up scratching my head when i read this stuff.

me too, it would seem they're all 'up to something' and 'can't be trusted' if you were to take what many here say at face value

Confused.

She managed to phone you whilst she was being beaten up?

No i was calling her

Let's look at some facts.

1. English guys in groups of 5 don't make a habit of beating up bar girls
   
2. A bar girl is not YOUR GIRLFRIEND, she is everyones girlfriend. Hence BAR GIRL
   
3. Altercations between bar girls and farangs always involve money or the bar girl trying to get money
   
4. If she doesn't answer the phone means she is busy with someone else and telling that man the same sad story she told you
   
5. She calls you everyday and half of the UK, the more calls the more she makes
   
6. Getting narcoleptic and in a state of panic because a bar girl in Thailand did not call you tells me you need some mental help.
   
7. Who is paying for her to call you everyday? My guess is you.
   

Sorry to be so harsh but you need to wake the f*** up to reality and facts.

She is not your girlfriend.

yeah you're right i need mental help

yes it must have been her fault, men just don't hit women, she must have done something to deserve it

i'll stop calling her and go to the doctors, will you come with me and hold my hand?

Thanks for your help

You may not realise it, but most Thai girls are very conscious (oh boy - they can keep a straight face) and aware when they are been treated as "Thai" versus been treated as a "person" - they pick up the the cues that ex-pats sub-conscoiusely "act out" in communication & inter-acting with them.

This definitely struck a chord with me. My g/f quietly and very cleverly spent about 3 or 4 days finding out if i was attracted to her/liked her because she was Thai and found that somehow 'exotic', she gently probed me about my past, my views on relationships and equality and we had discussions about how foreign men perceive Thai women without me realising what she was doing.

She did all of this without the benefit of much formal education, the vocabulary that we share is reasonably limited (not fluent English for her and hardly any Thai for me) but showed herself to be a thoughtful, cautious and genuine person. It would be easy for both of us to slip into the 'accepted roles' of farang b/f Thai g/f but we are both individuals, both had hard times in our lives, both insist on being treated as a person rather than a product of our environment.

If you met me for the first time you would jump to all sorts of conclusions about what type of person i am, then you would find out you were wrong.

This is one of the reasons I like her so much, she's a lot more than she appears to be, and so am I.

Some readers will find something in this post that will generate a reaction within them and possibly it may strike a chord; that in turn may make them think more of the subject line for this post. And with that, it may actually help them in some way.

it did make me think about the subject line, it did strike a chord (especially about the shopping!) but no, it did not make me think 'ok let me find out if her parents will nick my furniture'

nor will i be so calculated as to have some kind of 'checklist' with boxes 'ticked' (or not) in order to assess my relationships, although i do know people who do seem to do that (one girl i was seeing for a while very happily informed me that i had successfully passed all her 'checks and balances' i think she called them!) my ex g/f who i was with for 7 years regularly bitches and moans about her new b/f as he seems to 'run through a list' and then pull her up when she doesn't match up.

So yes, thank you OP for your 'test list' and the responses from some, which have been interesting.

But no, I won't be making it into a chart with little boxes.

There is an easier test. What does the dog say.

Seriously now, how many of you guys ever met a "bad" lady that the dog liked? If the dame doesn't meet with Sparky's approval, she's not staying over, and if she stays over and objects to the cat chaperoning the sleeping arrangements, again she's history. Much more cost effective and efficient.

Hahaha! now all i need is a dog i can trust. If I get one will Sparky run 'tests' on my dog?

Or even better, look for someone who's independent and doesn't need your cash?

To make a long story short, she ended up giving most of it back to me, as she did not need the money but was testing me.

interesting idea. I'm not going to do it, but I can see where you're coming from. Happy it worked for you.

(apologies to the grammar police for using incorrectly structured sentences)

west ham vs Arsenal 2: 2 draw

I missed the game. grrrrr hate the time zone diff

Not a classic but definitely lived up to the cliche of a 'game of two halves'

!st half was competetive in the middle but we had nothing up front, you got the 2 goals and I thought we were heading for a spanking but 2nd half you started to let us play (why?) and we fought our way back into the game, rode our luck a bit but deserved a draw, and could have nicked all 3 points :-)

come on you irons!

I'm sorry to say he's still around and doing his worst. I happened to pass him on a BTS bridge adjoining Exchange Tower three days ago. He physically pushed down an officeworker's arm to get passed. The Thai officeworker was giving directions to a group and pointing. Said GOM was walking up behind him and instead of going round or saying excuse me, carried on walked and forcefully pushed down the guy's arm and carried on. Nothing said. Guy was shocked to say the least and stopped giving the directions to the Asian tourists. I was also pretty shocked to see such needless attitude. If the officeguy hadn't been quite so well-mannered himself I'm sure it wouldn't have ended there.

Hi Carl,

I couldn't get past the 1st 3 pages for tears of laughter....

Do you still go to the Oriental at 10:00

One of the funniest topics I've read on TV.

Thanks...

Man I wish I was in BKK to see this guy! Seriously, you should get a group together, wait for his cafe 'performance' and give him a standing ovation every morning, take some photo's ask him for his autograph or something.

Ok I know he's taken the 'eccentric englishman' thing WAY too far and probably needs all kinds of help but I can't help wanting to be there and ask him 'you do realise you're famuos don't you?'

I find that Thais give what I interpret as their versions of apologies all the time- as several previous posters have mentioned, it isn't always a speech- quite often is nothing more than a nod, an embarrassed smile (to be distinguished from other types of smiles), a quick wai, a concerned glance- these gestures are usually enough (and taken as such by their recipients).

When a Thai person is unsure if I will understand their form of apology, I have actually received very formal English language apologies.

Sometimes, I think if a Thai is unsure how to make the apology or if their apology will be accepted, they will simply choose to flee. Those with a history of being aggressive or easy to anger may find this happens a lot. If you expect frequently apologies, you should be in the habit of accepting them easily, casually, and graciously- remember 'mai pen rai.' If you're the type who likes to wring out guilt or microdissect events, you can expect avoidance more than anything else.

That's a very interesting perspective, thank you.

For me, part of the acceptance of an apology is the mutual understanding that the person apologising will try their best not to do whatever it is, again. And that part of the discussion or dissection of what happened is for both parties to find out exactly where the problem was so as to strengthen their relationship by not doing it again. Often the person being apologised to will make concessions so it's not all one sided. This is part of understanding someone and becoming closer to them.

Would you say that happens with Thai people? Is it normal to, maybe later, discuss why one person was upset and for the other to acknowledge that? I would think that would maybe apply to friendships or more intimate relationships? What do you think? Anyone?

Brilliant, absolutely brilliant! the whole thing, from the obnoxious OCD guy who it was all about in the first place right through to the guy who is really angry about everyone picking on the original obnoxious OCD guy...how long has this been going on? a year? just great

top top stuff.

thank you all so much

I agree that calling her bluff by saying you'll take the baby yourself could well end up backfiring on you big time.

How? Single dad issue?

yes she could easily leave you quite literally 'holding the baby'

if it's all true and you do like this girl and you want to keep the baby and her then I reckon you should just tell her that you haven't got it and if you did have it you wouldn't give it to her family because you'll both need it to take care of the new family which is you and her and the baby, so she has a choice; she stays with you and carries on getting 50k/month ( i would even cut that down, now we have to save money for the baby's future, 10K of your money's going into a savings account) plus you supporting the new baby or you split up with her and you'll give her 10k a month for the baby, which is still a hel_l of a lot more than many women get.

Great advice. Best so far. Thanks.

no problem happy to help

Plus she'll need to repair what trust used to be there because by asking for a million baht you now think of her very differently.

Call me a romantic, but this is probably what bothers me most.

nothing wrong with being a romantic, that would bother me the most too. She can say it was her family's idea and hopefully you can put it behind you?

if you do have a million and you do give it up then, what's the phrase I'm looking for?....... som nam na

Yeah. While she is like...what's the phrase I'm looking for?........gin nim nim.

It will never happen though, trust me. I'll look after the kid, but there is no way I'm giving her family that kind of money.

good for you :-) hope it all works out and you can be happy

I've always regarded a sincere apology, to or from someone you care about, to be a two way thing. Say, for instance, I've done something to upset one of my close friends, I will sincerely apologise, thereby humbling myself somewhat (losing face?) admitting I have done something wrong and they then have the opportunity to say exactly why they were so upset and then, hopefully, forgiveness is forthcoming (face restored?)

It is, often, by these things happening over a long period of time, people you know well are aware of your limitations/weaknesses (and you theirs) that friendships become close and meaningful.

When you just throw a 'sorry' to someone on the street it's not expected to be all that sincere really and I think people have, over time, reduced the value of sincere apology.

Now that may well be a cultural phenomenon peculiar to a Northern European upbringing. But I have given, and received, apologies from my Thai g/f

and also experienced the 'silence' which took me a while to be sure was an apology (of sorts) the issue involved, rather than being resolved, was just not spoken of again. Also had a general 'vibe' of 'whoops he didn't like that (note to self; never do that again)' as opposed to a full blown apology, from women raised in the UK.

There is a meeting of cultures I suppose and it takes some willingness to understand from both parties. Not easily done in a relationship, either of close friends or lovers and I would imagine, almost impossible outside one.

Very interesting topic. Thank you.