Wednesday Jokes

A man and a woman are driving down the same road at the same time.

As they pass each other the woman leans out the window, points and yells, “PIG! ”

The man immediately leans out his window, shakes his fist and shouts back, “WITCH!"

They each continue on their way, and as the man rounds the next corner, he slams into a pig that had wandered into the middle of the road.

If only men would listen.

Two friends, a blonde and a redhead, are walking down the street and pass

a flower shop where the redhead sees her boyfriend buying her flowers.

The redhead sighs and says, "Oh crap, my boyfriend is buying me flowers again."

The blonde looks quizzically at her and says, "You don't like getting flowers from your boyfriend?"

The redhead replies, "I love getting flowers, but he always has expectations after giving me flowers, and I just don't feel like spending the next three days on my back, with my legs in the air."

The blonde says, "Don't you have a vase?"

He said . . . I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it.

She said . . . You wear pants don't you?

He said . . .... Shall we try swapping positions tonight?

She said . That's a good idea - you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart!

He said . ... What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?

She said . .Turn sideways and look in the mirror!

He said . ..... Why don't women blink during foreplay?

She said . They don't have time

He said . . How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?

She said . . We don't know; it has never happened.

He said . . Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and Good- looking?

She said . . . They already have boyfriends.

She said...What do you call a women who knows where her husband is every night?

He said . . . A widow.

He said . .. . Why are married women heavier than single women?

She said . . . Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.