The Funny Things The Girls Say!

[Sully]

Just spent a wonderful week with a great gal in Bkk...she was always concerned about not wanting get "picnic" until I finally figured out what she really meant was pregnant ....when I asked what she ate that day she usually replied she ate "nudden"...finally figured out she meant she ate noodles, not eating in the nud_e. God I love that place.

[The Gentleman Scamp]

I recently heard a good one:

"I not smoke yabba anymore, I promise".

[12call]

Nice One Scampy.

[pnustedt]

Love it, as I'm reading this thread wife poked her head round the corner and asked "Cully clap? - clap flom eezer".

Looks like I've got curried crab for dinner - she's just getting the crab out of the freezer.

[jayenram]

The FG was watching the English teaching programme on UBC yesterday. She then put her head around the door and asked me the meaning of the phrase "Don't cry over split mlik".

[BIG SPUDS]

I sang for my GF on the phone the other day.

After i finished she said " you vely good, wen you come thailand you sing kal-o-kay"

Sounded so funny!!!

[medicinebox]

My gf once said on the phone "It's ok, my brother have hard dick for me now".

Hard disc for her computer...

[wolf5370]

My gf once said on the phone "It's ok, my brother have hard dick for me now".

Hard disc for her computer...

Excellent! Made my sides ache with that, MB.

When I was first courting my wife, we used to use a dictionary to help - she was a teacher, so her English was fair, but basic. My Thai was counting, saying 'hello' and 'how are you'. She used to refer to the Dictionary as Dic (in the normal Thai manor). Used to have me in stitches suddenly decalring mid-conversation "I need dic"

[kankaroo]

On another occasion when in the US, when my wife was just learning english, we had a traffic accident. A car backed into us. My wife said she saw the car backing towards us but said " I never thought it will gonna be happen like this! In all fairness, we arnt all that brilliant when it comes to speaking Thai. One time, upon returning from the hardware store, I told my wife I stopped to chat with the little old Chinese lady who owned the store. She was asking about the weather where I lcame from in New England. I told my wife, I was telling the old lady, this year America has alot of snow. My wife said, "WHAT?" Then she explained, snow is pronounced, " hee-mhuh", not "hee ma". I didnt go back to that store for awhile!

[Totster]

Was speaking to the GF on the phone earlier today, we were talking about the rain and "skylight"

Just thought I'd add that one

totster

[Rigger]

I was sitting in a bar with my wive having a bit of look around at the girls. Food for eye as she says. When one of the girls keep looking my way and smiling the missus taps me on the shoulder and said I dancealot I replied yes I know you like to dance a lot.(reply) NO I F###### DANGEROUS

[stroll]

My stepdaughter is learning business English at University.

When German friends came to visit, I asked her in Thai to tell them in English that mom will come home at 8 o'clock. She was thinking for a moment, then said:

aiiight!

[BIG SPUDS]

I was sitting in a bar with my wive having a bit of look around at the girls. Food for eye as she says. When one of the girls keep looking my way and smiling the missus taps me on the shoulder and said I dancealot I replied yes I know you like to dance a lot.(reply) NO I F###### DANGEROUS

love it.

Went to see ladyboy show with Gf. I said to her jokingly, that i think she used to be a man. She replied yes she was. I was a bit shocked to see my girlfriend got the joke and came back with a witty reply. Then i looked at her facial expressions, nothing!! I asked her if she was telling the truth, "yes" she replied. I started to laugh as though the joke was over, "why you laugh, you no believe me man before?" We kept this conversation up for 5 minutes. I was trying to break her and make her admit she was joking, looking for a smile from her, anything to convince me she was lying. Nothing!! I was now feeling really really sick and wanted to throw up, "why you look ill?" she said. I said because you was a man before and i dont like that. At that point all the girls at the bar we had been sitting had been listening and couldnt keep in the laughter any more, They all burst out laughing including my GF, who gave me a kiss and told me she was joking.

I felt so stupid, my own little joke had backfired in a big way, i felt sick and humiliated.

Fairplay.

[Ben Dover]

Re-hashing an old one I know but a farrang friend here who went into a shop and after searching round for the eggs shouted over to the girl on the till "mai Me Kai?"

He couldnt work out why they all fell of their stools laughing until he was told he just told everyone in the shop he had no balls.. Same guy would take his car to the garrage and when ordering petrol would say "IM Kap"

I'm sure Thai people get more of a laugh from us when we first arrive than we ever do from them.

[markydd]

my wife phoned me at work one day and said somedy phone about car i said what car.no somebody cor about car after about 5 minutes of this it turned out to be some body called albert carr.

[jayenram]

I heard the FG muttering and complaining one morning in the bedroom. In response to my question she said "I cannot get back to sleep". "So what?".

Apparently she'd had a dream that she'd ordered food, it had arrived and been paid for but then she'd woken up. She was desperate to get back to sleep so she could eat it!

[12call]

She prolly erd the Cockroach Fart J.

[markydd]

misses just cracked me up again. you know that shop i like.what shops that dear.

doshy peguin.pardon.doshy penguin where you buy my top.you mean dorothy perkins?

[snoophound]

I love the way my girl pronounces Tesco Lotus

rotussss

oh well sounds kind of sexy

[snoophound]

I heard the FG muttering and complaining one morning in the bedroom. In response to my question she said "I cannot get back to sleep". "So what?".

Apparently she'd had a dream that she'd ordered food, it had arrived and been paid for but then she'd woken up. She was desperate to get back to sleep so she could eat it!

Thats so funny

My girl hates it if she wakes up when she is having a good dream and cant wait to get back to sleep

[siam]

Was sitting watching tv tonight,and there was a program about Labrador dogs,Ask your Wife/Gf to say it,I swore blind she said rubber doll,and ask her to say rubber doll,Absolutely hilarious

[IamMaiC]

I heard the FG muttering and complaining one morning in the bedroom. In response to my question she said "I cannot get back to sleep". "So what?".

Apparently she'd had a dream that she'd ordered food, it had arrived and been paid for but then she'd woken up. She was desperate to get back to sleep so she could eat it!

Thats so funny

My girl hates it if she wakes up when she is having a good dream and cant wait to get back to sleep

I wonder what she ordered

[logpoacher]

A few years ago I was here for a few months and had a non serious Thai girlfriend. When I had to leave and didn't know how long it would be before I could return, we agreed to keep in touch and to let the other person know if we found a new bf / gf. We did this and got on really well and neither of us started a new relationship, so I was a bit surprised on my return when she said to me, "I have men"! One man would have been bad enough, but this seemed to imply several - I was heartbroken until I found out that "men" means "period".

She also does the vegetable / festival thing, but my absolute favourite is her confusion of "vagina" and "pyjamas" - we just use the Thai words now!

[Jeff1]

I heard the FG muttering and complaining one morning in the bedroom. In response to my question she said "I cannot get back to sleep". "So what?".

Apparently she'd had a dream that she'd ordered food, it had arrived and been paid for but then she'd woken up. She was desperate to get back to sleep so she could eat it!

Yesterday I woke up before my wife and read this , I thought it was great .

She wakes up and said that she just had a dream about winning the lottery. She say's I won 100,000 , I said dollars ? She said " no baht " I told her to go back to sleep so she can win more . See , the stupid things farang say

[chokrai]

I was i in the market the other day and there was a nicely dressed young lady there with a T-shirt that said <deleted> PARTY but the spelling was correct on the shirt!

[IamMaiC]

I was i in the market the other day and there was a nicely dressed young lady there with a T-shirt that said <deleted> PARTY but the spelling was correct on the shirt!

Did You ask her to marry you!!!!!!

[jhj2000]

Well the BG's get free lessons from the English Teachers

[Mikey7]

The other day my thai g/f came in and said what sounded like "Lek Mon Sleet" I aske her to repeat it and it camwe out the same. After the trird try she gave up and said why you no unnerstan when I speak Falang. Well I pondered this for a day or so and finally figured out she was saying Man wrecked in the street. Been laughing ever since

[Gazza]

Living in my wife's village 15 years ago I was woken up one time in the wee hours of the morning, about 10am. I was told to come and see the airplane. I thought that this has got to be worth seeing as I imagined a light two seater aircraft had landed out in the rice fields somewhere and was going to put on some kind of show. Kind of like the barn stormers in the American midwest.

I got to the main street that runs through this little rice farming community only to see........an elephant. I told my wife that it's not an airplane but a <deleted>' elephant and she realised her mistake then asked what a 'frikken elepan' was. I explained that an elephant is an elephant at all times but when I'm woken up specially to go and see one, then it becomes a '<deleted>' elephant'.

Of course I've also had the privelege of going to the village temple early in a morning to 'go give food to the MONKeys'.

I know I've made howlers when I speak Thai but it's funnier when other people make them.

[CheshireCat]

Not sure if anyone has the same but the DVD copy I have and have noticed elsewhere, the copy of 'Van Helsing' doing the rounds in the markets stars the well known actor HUGE JACKMAN according to the sleeve

They must know something we dont.