Bar girl = Prostitute?

[Hummin]

I came to see this Quora question about Thai women and sex. Is a bar girl  prostitute when they go with customers?  Some go more often than others,  and some I have been talking to, just go sometime for fun, dinners, dating and other like normal girls do. Do the bar girls think of themselves as prostitutes? 

 

Even if you travel to Samui, Phuket, Pattaya, or Bangkok's tourist areas and bars, only a fraction of the women here are sex workers. Most women would not dream of prostituting themselves, and it would be insulting to approach them with that assumption. Many work in these areas as cleaners, shop workers, travel agents, etc. Certainly Thai people are not hung up about sex the way Europeans are (a remnant of strict religious orders) but they are modest. Public displays of affection are frowned upon, for instance. Thai woman do not readily like to undress in front of others (Thai girls will more often swim fully clothed in teeshirts and jeans than a bikini), and have a culture of respect for personal space. Pole dancing and wearing skimpy clothes does not come readily

 

Some interesting comments to in this article

https://www.quora.com/Thailand-Do-Thai-women-have-comparatively-more-relaxed-views-on-prostitution

 

 

On the other hand there is plenty articles like this

http://tastythailand.com/why-dating-or-marrying-a-thai-bar-girl-prostitute-is-a-bad-idea-a-lot-of-farang-men-in-thailand-do/

Edited June 19, 2018 by Hummin

[Justfine]

Of course they do. They may even know how to spell the word better than you.

[OneMoreFarang]

Long time ago I made holiday in Thailand. I visited Pattaya, picked up a nice innocent girl in a bar, had sex with her maybe an hour later and I agreed with her on a price for a holiday together. I went with her to a quiet beach holiday on an island - everything fine.

 

Two weeks later a friend arrived. He also picked up a girl in Pattaya. I will never forget the reaction of "my girl". "That's a prostitute!" It seems some of them have different interpretations of that word.

 

[BobBKK]

They are but I would not recommend you enlighten them. Sex work in Thailand (in fact all Asia) is 'flexible' with many side-liners and part-time girls willing to 'help you' for 'gas money'. They would be horrified to be identified with prostitutes or bar girls and one is wise to let them save face or you will never get laid. A friend of mine, haha,  tells me that he's met many 'ordinary' girls, office workers etc. who will happily spend a pleasant time and expect gas money for their car. This is not related to the sex though, on no, and they feel better about it that way.

 

You are obviously new here. Sex 'work' is multi-layered and, as we know from Prayut, there is no prostitution in Thailand.

Edited June 19, 2018 by BobBKK

[OneMoreFarang]

Lots of young and pretty women all over the word marry old men with money. I guess that is called love and not prostitution - at least until they get divorced and then they want to get paid huge amounts for their service.

 

[Hummin]

19 minutes ago, BobBKK said:

You are obviously new here. Sex 'work' is multi-layered and, as we know from Prayut, there is no prostitution in Thailand.

No, I  had a simular experience as onemorefarang years back, and it made me thinking how them see themselves what they are doing, comparing with others. Im not a typical bar visitor, and useally ended up with more of the free birds around. 

 

29 minutes ago, Justfine said:

Of course they do. They may even know how to spell the word better than you.

Im not native English, and might have slightly a misspelling syndrom from time to time ? It is called Laziness! 

Edited June 19, 2018 by Hummin

[jerojero]

Is a bar girl a prostitute when.... Idiotic question. Of course they are! Sheesh.

[Hummin]

12 minutes ago, jerojero said:

Is a bar girl a prostitute when.... Idiotic question. Of course they are! Sheesh.

Thats interesting, jump to that conclusion even not know where the bar is, what bar it is, and the girl!

[theguyfromanotherforum]

Since Thailand is a class system I would expect that any bar girl is in fact, a prostitute.

 

Just because they act offended in front of you, doesn't really mean anything.

 

This is not the West where girls in skirts serve beers for tips. Out of thousands of family and friends my wife has I don't know of a single one that works in a bar.

 

I am not judgmental (ok, I'm a liar - I am), but Thais are.

Edited June 19, 2018 by theguyfromanotherforum

[RichardColeman]

No prostitutes in the bars these days - just internet monitors and facebook technicians ! 

[chrisinth]

1 hour ago, Hummin said:

Is a bar girl  prostitute when they go with customers?

You made a valid point in your earlier post as to what sort of bar it is, not all bars in Thailand work the 'bar fine' model.

 

To me, if a girl working in a bar is bar-fined, or if the purpose of leaving with a customer is strictly financial, then yes, without question they are prostituting themselves. If however they are just fun loving girls who have hit an attraction for a customer and leaves when the bar closes, who knows? I certainly wouldn't judge them for wanting fun, even if it did involve sex later on. Have too many fond memories still, after all this time of my earlier days in Thailand during the 80's & 90's. 

 

That was as a customer by the way, even then it would have been hard to get a WP and besides, I could never keep those stocking seams straight.................

[BobBKK]

Just now, chrisinth said:

You made a valid point in your earlier post as to what sort of bar it is, not all bars in Thailand work the 'bar fine' model.

 

To me, if a girl working in a bar is bar-fined, or if the purpose of leaving with a customer is strictly financial, then yes, without question they are prostituting themselves. If however they are just fun loving girls who have hit an attraction for a customer and leaves when the bar closes, who knows? I certainly wouldn't judge them for wanting fun, even if it did involve sex later on. Have too many fond memories still, after all this time of my earlier days in Thailand during the 80's & 90's. 

 

That was as a customer by the way, even then it would have been hard to get a WP and besides, I could never keep those stocking seams straight.................

The defining factor is $$$. I have had lots free sex and paid for 'some' and I know what the difference is. Most of them are 'in-between' and are grateful for 'gas money' (not related to the sex of course)  haha.

[chrisinth]

14 minutes ago, theguyfromanotherforum said:

Since Thailand is a class system I would expect that any bar girl is in fact, a prostitute.

 

Just because they act offended in front of you, doesn't really mean anything.

 

This is not the West where girls in skirts serve beers for tips. Out of thousands of family and friends my wife has I don't know of a single one that works in a bar.

 

I am not judgmental (ok, I'm a liar - I am), but Thais are.

I ran a bar here for 12 years. Granted, not in any tourist area, but never once did the bar take bar fines. None of the girls were available for 'take aways', they were not necessarily those type of girls. But that is not to say that relationships didn't happen, hence my previous post about what sort of bar we are talking about.

 

And just to clarify, not having bar fines was a choice, could easily have gone that way but decided on the family atmosphere instead. 

[Hummin]

Tourist places have them all, and everyone is looking for something! Still some girls seems genuin, and yes I know whats behind. Still most foreigners do marry bar ladies and bring them home, and that was the intention for most girls I believe? Some get stuck, some get hoocked, and some find the man easy and leave. 

[brewsterbudgen]

The ones that get paid for sexual services are; the ones that don't are not.

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[poanoi]

Do Thai women have comparatively more relaxed views on prostitution?

 

yes, but not the way it was here described,

but its so common place here the bad stigma is

overridden altogether with the prospect of cash.

and on the face of it, they are more rational than myself,

my ethics never brought wealth or anything else,

on the contrary it seem it has been a money drain

without offset

Edited June 19, 2018 by poanoi

[janclaes47]

30 minutes ago, theguyfromanotherforum said:

Out of thousands of family and friends my wife has I don't know of a single one that works in a bar.

Thousands of family and friends and you know them all? Wow, just wow.

[HooHaa]

It really doesnt matter what the girl thinks, its what you tell yourself as you hand over cash.

[brewsterbudgen]

Thousands of family and friends and you know them all? Wow, just wow.

Maybe you need to get out more!

Sent from my SM-G930F using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app

[BritManToo]

1 hour ago, OneMoreFarang said:

Two weeks later a friend arrived. He also picked up a girl in Pattaya. I will never forget the reaction of "my girl". "That's a prostitute!" It seems some of them have different interpretations of that word.

More like some of them have a delusional 'self image'.

[poanoi]

1 minute ago, brewsterbudgen said:

Maybe you need to get out more!

Sent from my SM-G930F using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app
 

no he doesnt, poor & rich dont mix here on any occasion

[ChidlomDweller]

Bar girl has long been a euphemism for prostitute.  As an aside "girl" is also a euphemism in many cases. 

 

If your question is whether any woman who works in a bar is a prostitute, then the answer is of course not.  But I wouldn't call them bar girls any more than I would call myself gay to indicate I'm feeling happy.

Edited June 19, 2018 by ChidlomDweller

[BritManToo]

32 minutes ago, chrisinth said:

You made a valid point in your earlier post as to what sort of bar it is, not all bars in Thailand work the 'bar fine' model.

But they're nearly all available out of hours.

And the hotel staff, and the coffee shop girls, and the restaurant waitress, etc.

 

Little old lady living down the road from me brought round a 'single mom' for me to view earlier this week (the locals all know I'm single), the woman looked great (mid 30s), slim, educated (degree in English), spoke really good English, available immediately to move in (with her 5 year old daughter). I was tempted, but I'm too old for all the drama now. It's a funny old country.

 

The little old lady wasn't a pimp, and the woman wasn't a prostitute.

But I'd be hard put to define the precise differences.

Edited June 19, 2018 by BritManToo

[chrisinth]

1 minute ago, BritManToo said:

But they're nearly all available out of hours.

And the hotel staff, and the coffee shop girls, and the restaurant waitress, etc.

But then we get into the difference between relationships and just asking for money for sex. Certainly not saying it doesn't happen but IMO not as generalized as a lot of people make out.

 

There are grey areas for sure. 

[neeray]

11 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

But they're nearly all available out of hours.

And the hotel staff, and the coffee shop girls, and the restaurant waitress, etc.

 

Little old lady living down the road from me brought round a 'single mom' for me to view earlier this week (the locals all know I'm single), the woman looked great (mid 30s), slim, educated (degree in English), spoke really good English, available immediately to move in (with her 5 year old daughter). I was tempted, but I'm too old for all the drama now. It's a funny old country.

 

The little old lady wasn't a pimp, and the woman wasn't a prostitute.

But I'd be hard put to define the precise differences.

Good story. How about "facilitator" or "arranger" ?

[colinneil]

Reading this thread has given me a good laugh.

Biggest laugh i have paid for sex sometimes, other times free!!

Hello no sex anytime, anywhere is free, go with a bar girl you pay.

Stay home have sex with your wife/ girlfriend, you have had to pay at sometime.

Edited June 19, 2018 by colinneil

[ubonjoe]

This topic is now closed since it is in violation of this Forum Rule.

 

Quote

17) You will not discuss the specifics of prostitution. Though Thailand has a visible sex industry, and acknowledgement of that fact is not forbidden, ThaiVisa is not the place to seek or give information on this topic, regardless of your sexual habits, preferences or orientation.