Boy Meets Girls, Chapter Mlcxxviii ...lost In The Ozone Again

[brahmburgers]

In the boy meets girl dept: Everytime I think I have things figured out - there are new twists. A bit of background; I'm a single guy who's been residing in Thailand for nearly ten years. Though I've had several steady

girlfriends along the way, I never took the plunge to get married. Am

currently looking for a lady, but because I don't frequent bars, and don't

have a bunch of spending money, my options are limited.

I share this latest scenario - as it might help shed a bit of light for other guys who are similarly trying to figure out the quirky twists and turns involved with getting close to a 'decent' Thai woman. For starters, there are is one stark similarity between bar girls and so-called 'proper' Thai women. Namely: money and security (for the women and their families) is paramount. Quaint references to 'love' or 'relationship' take a back seat in the reality dept.

Here goes; My Thai friend secured an office and hired a 'secretary.' The

guy has a wife and three small kids who live in a ramshackle Bt.3,000/month

rental. If you were to ask him, he'd say the family is all together and doing fine. I come along and get attracted to the 'secretary.' She gives indications that she's attracted to me. I'd like to say, we date, get along fine and live happily ever after, but that's not to be. I ask her if she has a boyfriend, she says 'no'. I ask her if whe wants to go to restaurant and watch a video, she says 'yes.'

She tells me she works 12 hours per day , 7 days a week. I've come across

that rap many times in similar scenarios, so I start to figure she's a 'kept

woman' ...but kept by whom? I wonder. There's a language barrier, so that

compounds the mystery. I see how sweet she acts with my Thai friend, so I

ask her whether she's his 'mia noi' (mistress). Actually, that's a faux pas

question in Thailand, but anyhow, she says 'no.' I ask my Thai friend if

she's his 'mia noi' and he says 'no.' She's still acting very receptive to

me, but there are pieces of the puzzle that still don't fit. She says things like "me and and him, we friends like brother sister,' and to me she says, 'I want to be more than friends.' A couple times when she spoke fast to him (perhaps so I wouldn't understand), I disceren her saying 'tee rak' (darling) twice. Another time she was very late in meeting me at a 'set' time (that's expected) - but then I found she had been in an upstairs apartment with her 'boss' (my Thai friend).

I don't mind if people mess around, after all; that's their business. I also know that it's a rare Thai husband who doesn't mess around. I just don't

like being drawn in and then blatantly lied to. However, the one little kernal of truth I get from her, is when she said, 'he pays me every month.' That was supposed to be a reference to her 'secretary' status, but it soon became evident that there was more to it. When my Thai male friend noticed my obvious attraction to the woman, he took me aside and mentioned; 'she is married and has two children.' The woman had not mentioned that to me earlier.

Then I learned a new word from a battle-weary farang friend. 'Geek' is a

Thai slang for someone with which you have casual sex - with or without

payment involved. Taking in to account the 'geek' factor (between my Thai

friend and the woman) the whole scenario seems to make sense, in a twisted

Siamese sort of way.

Those several days of confusion, tempered with bits of embarassment, could

have been sidestepped if people simply told the truth. The woman was lying,

but that's to be expected when she's comtemplating messing around. however, even my Thai male friend was being evasive. If I was a better writer, perhaps I'd try embellishing a story to wrap around this little tryst.

= = = = = = = =

[jamman]

Those several days of confusion, tempered with bits of embarassment, could

have been sidestepped if people simply told the truth. The woman was lying,

but that's to be expected when she's comtemplating messing around. however, even my Thai male friend was being evasive. If I was a better writer, perhaps I'd try embellishing a story to wrap around this little tryst.

Just one more example of the cultural mindset that drove me out of Thailand. It's a great place if you want to play that game, and try out non-monogamy, and if you aren't dead set on getting monogamy from your mate. But if you want both trust and passion in a relationship, Thailand will drive you nuts. IMO.

Edited February 8, 2007 by jamman

[coldcrush]

My Wife stopped a robber killing me...jumped in front of a knife, actually and that was when I was just "messing around with her!" I reckon she's ok eh? She is also 8 years younger than me and wiser as I am a dafty... However I have met some crazy horses....

Edited February 9, 2007 by lopburiguy

[Smilodon]

My Wife stopped a robber killing me...jumped in front of a knife! I reckon she's ok eh? She is also 8 years younger than me and wiser as I am a dafty... However I have met some crazy horses....

John 15:13

"Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends"

Sounds like YOU hit the JACKPOT.

[coldcrush]

My Wife stopped a robber killing me...jumped in front of a knife! I reckon she's ok eh? She is also 8 years younger than me and wiser as I am a dafty... However I have met some crazy horses....

John 15:13

"Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends"

Sounds like YOU hit the JACKPOT.

Yeah but it was a woman? Was God a woman or are people unsure?

A jackpot to my wife is a good somtam, not me... I am second best, yet i know my place!

Edited February 9, 2007 by lopburiguy