Have Your Values Changed?

[Jet Gorgon]

Based on some other threads, like the clothes one, etc, I can see other women have changed by living in LOS. Besides togs, what other values have changed for you? I found I became more sensitive, kinder in ways, more forgiving, less fussy about things (like sometimes I'll throw half a cuke in the fridge UNWRAPPED, which I did at my Mom's one time and she threw a hissing fit), preferring jungle foliage to dust-collecting knick knacks, lover of serenity, preference of my animals over human company at times...

[November Rain]

I guess for me one of the biggest things is I've become less materialistic. Before LoS, I lived for 7 years in HK, which for me, has got to be one of the most materialistic places on the planet. I used to just buy whatever I wanted. Don't laugh but I used to collect teddy bears. I had some cheap cuddlies, but mainly I'm talking about antique bears or limited edition/one-of-a-kind artist bears. I actually still know a lot about what is a good buy in arctophile terms!! Anyway, after a couple of years here, I gave the cuddlies to an orphanage & sold the others at ridiculously low prices in our dog center charity shop. I had loads of books & CDs that I've sold in our shop, all my posh HK clothes & shoes went the same way & a lot of jewellery. Same with ornaments.

I'm also stronger, more independent, more sure of myself & more willing to fight my corner or stand up for myself and those I love than I used to be. I used to be non-confrontational, & though (IMO) I still don't go looking for arguments, I won't let people get one over on me now.

However, I don't know if it's LoS that has done this to me, or what's happened to me since I've been here. Having Dad take his own life, BF die & Mum get cancer again, as well as becoming a first time stepmum & then single mum and running the dog center have all changed me. Things don't matter any more, I love animate "objects" rather than inanimate, these days. A lot of things I thought were necessities are actually very dispensable. I've lost some of the most important things & not been able to do anything about it. It just put things into perspective for me.

[Sheryl]

Having lived here most of my adult life, it is not so much a question of anything changing as it is of having shaped my values in the first place.

I suppose the biggest difference over how I saw things before coming to Asia is a greater appreciation for process. In the US everything is very outcome-orientated. Now I still have an outcome orientation -- it is one of the things that makes me effective at my work -- but it is tempered by an appreciation of the importance of process as well...and an understanding that not only do the ends not justify the means, the means ultimately define the ends.

The other important influence has been meditation. Although I could have come across it without coming to Thailand -- the type of Vipassana I do is taught in countries all over the world, and strictly non-sectarian -- still it was my exposure to Thailand and Cambodia (especially, Thailand as it was in 20 years ago, when I regret to say, Buddhist ideas and values were a lot more integral to everyday life than seems to be the case today) that first got me interested. And certainly meditation has had a very profound impact on me in every way. Not so much a change as a confirmation and strengthening of values I intuitively held but which I might otherwise have lost.

Also -- being a "farang" suits my independent temperment quite well. Whenever I am back in the US I feel odd because...I'm still a foreigner but no one seems to know it!

I like being outside the culture and no matter what culture I'm in, I will always be outside it to a large degree, just by reason of individualism. Here everyone knows and accepts that I am not part of the "group" so it works out perfectly...

[fruittbatt]

I always had a profound sense of dislocation in Australian culture, and reacted strongly against many mainstream/middle-class values and prevailing political views.

It was partly the feeling of "being at home" as a "stranger" or "foreigner", of not experiencing pressure to conform to or disagree with the views of those around me which appealed about to me about living in Thailand....if that makes sense.

By living here "between two cultures" but not strictly belonging to either, I have started to sort which values are worth retaining from my life in the west, and to try to adopt some Thai and Buddhist values (eg resignation, greater individual responsibility, active love and assistance to members of my immediate and extended family).........with occasional success (lol).

[ginnyten]

I guess for me one of the biggest things is I've become less materialistic. Before LoS, I lived for 7 years in HK, which for me, has got to be one of the most materialistic places on the planet. I used to just buy whatever I wanted. Don't laugh but I used to collect teddy bears. I had some cheap cuddlies, but mainly I'm talking about antique bears or limited edition/one-of-a-kind artist bears. I actually still know a lot about what is a good buy in arctophile terms!! Anyway, after a couple of years here, I gave the cuddlies to an orphanage & sold the others at ridiculously low prices in our dog center charity shop. I had loads of books & CDs that I've sold in our shop, all my posh HK clothes & shoes went the same way & a lot of jewellery. Same with ornaments.

I'm also stronger, more independent, more sure of myself & more willing to fight my corner or stand up for myself and those I love than I used to be. I used to be non-confrontational, & though (IMO) I still don't go looking for arguments, I won't let people get one over on me now.

However, I don't know if it's LoS that has done this to me, or what's happened to me since I've been here. Having Dad take his own life, BF die & Mum get cancer again, as well as becoming a first time stepmum & then single mum and running the dog center have all changed me. Things don't matter any more, I love animate "objects" rather than inanimate, these days. A lot of things I thought were necessities are actually very dispensable. I've lost some of the most important things & not been able to do anything about it. It just put things into perspective for me.