Do's And Don'ts In Thailand

[jazzbo]

I have scanned and attached part of my favorite TAT brochure...I point you to the section on 'Loss of Temper':

"To lose one's temper, especially in public, is regarded as bad manners. Nor does it achieve anything, and one is far more likely to get what one wants by keeping a cool head and concealing emotions."

It IS very good advice not to lose one's temper -- as with other Asian countries, Thailand subscribes to the 'Loss of Face' syndrome. It is never a good technique to back a Thai person into a corner. However things are done in your home country, this is Thailand. One should always be willing to go the extra mile.

However, based on long experience working in Asia, at a certain point you will realize that, however justified your position, things are going nowhere and you are just not going to get your way...and your Thai counterpart may be thinking:

"I bet this khon ngo farang has read that silly TAT brochure on Social Etiquette and, even though I know his concern is righteous, if I just sit here and give that inscrutable Asian grin, he will eventually just go away empty-handed."

At that point, when you have nothing to lose, go ahead and MAKE A SCENE. You may lose a little face, people may not talk to you for a few days, but most often you WILL, if nothing else, get their attention.

Do not jeopardize a potential long-term relationship, but let them know that you cannot be treated like one of their lap (motorcycle-basket) dogs... You probably will get results and an unspoken but grudging respect.

[tijnebijn]

In my experience ,many many things they talk about to do or not good to do is rubbish.

In some sircumstances I found out it is not trough at all.like not touching the head of children,not true more of older people,true.I think when you are not behaving to different then the thai,everything is totally perfect ,even when you not supposed too,always get a smile back and like you even more .And if the farang did not understand,that's why we are farang for.Sometimes just easy like that,too keep yourself a bit stupid.Oke to get angry in public is indeed not right,but if someone does like that in my country I look them in the same way,Thais just have common values if you ask me,just to avoid bad confrontations,pretty smart if you ask me.Kind of thai wisdom,always simple but very true.

[LivinLOS]

My first wife was a hard ass, she had no problems at all putting herself forward and being angry over poor service or also using the face card in a mocking manner, the "so your saying you dont know how to.." or "so you dont have the power to organise.." etc.. To be honest I took my cues on how to handle face far more from her who used to get things accomplished and done and had everyone waiing to her and backing out the door than subsequent Thais I have lived with (who are much more polite but get walked over by everyone else)..

Screaming and shouting rarely gets anywhere I agree but controlled display of displeasure and use of the face angle to make them lose face if they do not comply is not rocket science.. I am sure theres more than a couple of TOT managers who would spit if they heard my name but that doesnt mean they dont start to sweat when I walk through the door.. In some situations I am not there to be liked, I am there to get something done.

I am far more calm since living here than back in the west tho.. I was a regular stress head there.

[DirkGently]

As for keeping 'jai yen yen', it only works if you can afford to lose out or go away empth handed.

When I first arrived here I was sold a faulty product and was told by the company that there was nothing they could do. It was 19 days old and I was still expected to pay for parts and labour. I sat there with the fixed TAT smile and played along and got shafted.

As time has worn on I have become less green and the last time I was messed about and lied to was when I bought a new phone with a faulty battery. The staff at Nokia replaced it with a 2nd hand broken one. So, I climbed aboard my high horse and went back. As my wife had picked it up they at first tried to deny that they had ever seen it or the receipt before so I took out the batt and slammed it down in front of the guy and demanded he do two things. Send me the manager and return with a new battery.

My wife sat there and said nothing when he tried to deal with her except "you lied to him now you must deal with him" in English.

The manager arrived and I firmly told her off for allowing this to happen.

I walked out 10 minutes later with new a battery.

Yes indeed, keeping ones cool works well in a restaurant where the girl has brought you chicken instead of pork or with the salesman that tells you it will be here tomorrow when in fact it will take 3 days. They are, after all, life's minor distractions. However, when the other person is trying to take advantage because they are too lazy/inept/stupid/dishonest and you are in the right, I say to hel_l with it.

[peter991]

The Do's and Don'ts are part of traditional Thai culture. I think every tourist should be given a booklet (printed in assorted languages) giving an insight into Thailand, its geography, culture, natural attractions etc.

Those of us who are Net-savvy will do our homework before we visit a new country - but there's still a lot of people who have no idea of the customs and get into trouble because of it.

Thais do make allowances for farang. Two of the classic examples are nud_e swimming and topless sunbathing on some of the Thai islands. Thai workers witnessing these sights are embarrassed by it - but seem to weigh up the 'it is wrong and against our culture' with 'these are tourists who are spending lots of money and don't know any better.'

Peter

[Phil Conners]

The Do's and Don'ts are part of traditional Thai culture. I think every tourist should be given a booklet (printed in assorted languages) giving an insight into Thailand, its geography, culture, natural attractions etc.

Those of us who are Net-savvy will do our homework before we visit a new country - but there's still a lot of people who have no idea of the customs and get into trouble because of it.

Thais do make allowances for farang. Two of the classic examples are nud_e swimming and topless sunbathing on some of the Thai islands. Thai workers witnessing these sights are embarrassed by it - but seem to weigh up the 'it is wrong and against our culture' with 'these are tourists who are spending lots of money and don't know any better.'

Peter

Who are you kidding? They're more likely thinking "nice boobs!"

[phibunmike]

My wife sat there and said nothing when he tried to deal with her except "you lied to him now you must deal with him" in English.

That's great

My wife came out with a good one; we were in a nice shop but getting some poor service, with a very illogical set of excuses. I said nothing. My wife smiled and said "oh, I understand, but I don't think my husband will'. They solved the problem.

[GuestHouse]

It is becoming increasingly clear that the TAT, who's remit it is to increase tourism to Thailand, might better instruct Thais on how they behave towards their guests.

[britmaveric]

Unfortunately for the most part what is written certainly doesnt seem to matter much any more.

[Naam]

"It IS very good advice not to lose one's temper -- as with other Asian countries, Thailand subscribes to the 'Loss of Face' syndrome. It is never a good technique to back a Thai person into a corner. However things are done in your home country, this is Thailand. One should always be willing to go the extra mile."

******

easier said than done! go ahead and build a 20 million baht hi-tec home over a period of one year (for which you have designed every detail yourself) , be the first one on the construction site and the last one to go. listen daily to several dozens of blatant and obvious lies from contractor, supervisors and workmen and then tell me again how "willing" AND ABLE a poor farang one is "to go the extra mile".