Females Make The Rules

[Jamesyboi]

1.The female makes the rules.

2.The rules are subject to change by the female at any time without prior

notification.

3.No male can possibly know all the rules. Attempts to document the rules

are not permitted.

4.If the female suspects that the male may know some or all of the rules,

she must immediately change some or all of the rules.

5.The female is never wrong.

6.If the female is wrong, it is because of an egregarious misunderstanding

which was the direct result of something the male did, said, did not do,

or did not say.

7.If rule 6 is invoked, the male must apologize immediately for having

been the cause of the misunderstanding without any clues from the female

as to what he did to have caused the misunderstanding. See rule 13.

8.The female may change her mind at any time for any reason or no reason

at all.

9.The male is never permitted to change his mind or under circumstances

without the express written consent of the female which is given only in

cases where the female wanted him to change his mind but gave no

indication of that wish. See rules 6, 7, 12, and 13.

10.The female has the right to be angry or upset for any reason, real or

imagined, at any time and under any circumstance which in her sole

judgement she deems appropriate. The male is not to be given any sign of

the root cause of the female's being angry or pset. The female may,

however, give false or misleading reasons to see if the male is paying

attention. See rule 13.

11.The male must remain calm at all times, unless the female wants him to

be angry or upset.

12.Under no circumstances may the female give the male any clue or

indication whether or why she wants him to be angry or upset.

13.The male is expected to read the mind of the female at all times.

Failure to do so will result in punishments and penalties imposed at the

sole discretion of the female.

14.The female may, at any time and for any reason, resurrect any past

incident without regard to temporal or spacial distance, and modify,

enlarge, embellish, of wholly reconstruct it in order to demonstrate to

the male that he is now or has in the past been wrong, insensitive,

pig-headed, dense, deceitful, and/or oafish.

15.The female may use her interpretation of any past occurrence to

illustrate the ways in which the male has failed to accord her the

consideration, respect, devotion, or material possessions, he has

bestowed on other females, domestic pets or barnyard animals, sports

teams, automobiles, motorcycles, boats, aircraft, or coworkers. Such

illustrations are non-rebuttable.

16.If the female is experiencing PMS, Post-PMS, or Pre-PMS, the female is

permitted to exhibit any manner of behaviors she wishes without regard to

logical consistency or accepted norms of human behavior.

17.Any act, deed, word, expression, statement, utterance, thought,

opinion, or belief by the male is subject to the sole, subjective

interpretation of the female, other external factors not-withstanding.

Alibis, excuses, explanations, defenses, reasons, extenuations, or

rationalizations will not be entertained. Abject please for mercy

and forgiveness are acceptable under some circumstances,

especially when accompanied by tangible evidence of contrition. :-))