Child abduction

[Martin Woolhouse]

This post is from 8 days ago and I'd like to know if anyone is going through this particular struggle, and hopefully share advice and/or tips on how to help!



I'm not entirely sure if I am one of those 132 eported cases of child abduction (even though I have reported my case to the UK Embassy), but I've been a teacher in Udon Thani for 7 years now, and it seems that nothing I do or say can help me get access to my 6 year old son, who was taken from me by his mother, 1 year ago.

The courts have granted me access, but told me that it's up to me to find him.

I am an upstanding member of the community here, and have done nothing wrong, and yet, it is proving impossible to access my son.

Is anyone else going through something similar, because I figure that 2 or 3 or 5 or 10 or 20 voices are better than one?!

Somebody has already been told to stand up and listen, purely by the fact this seminar has been held. Please contact me through Personal message if you are in a similar situation, or just want to offer help or advice.

Thank you for your time!

[evadgib]

Engaging your local (UK) MP helps to keep FCO on their toes, as does CCing everything via FCO London.

FNF are useful too & are well versed in international abductions:

https://fnf.org.uk/

HTH

Edited November 20, 2018 by evadgib

[sanemax]

I'm in a similar situation , the authorities wont want to get involved in a domestic disagreement , the only way for a reconciliation is to get back on agreeable terms with the mother , try to get back on friendly terms with her 

[Martin Woolhouse]

sanemax, impossible. I have done nothing wrong, and tried at every juncture to negotiate with her family, because she will not give me a second of her time. She has made up soany lies about me (including saying that my son suffered sexual abuse while in my care last year), to ensure that her family protects her, and allows me nowhere near her.

[Awk]

On 11/21/2018 at 1:16 AM, Martin Woolhouse said:

Thanks. After a year, I 'm beginning to understand that unless I write a novel explaining all the details, it's hard for people to understand that I've tried all the "usual methods".

 

There was a very knowledgable farang who was a prolific poster on this forum, though I've not seen him post much here for a while.   His name is MikeyIdea and I suggest you go through his older posts on this forum to learn what you can. 

Unfortunately TV suffers a lot from people who speak a lot but know little, so most of what they say end up being wrong,

but this guy knows what he is talking about better than any random lawyer you may happen to contact.

 

After you have learned what you can from his posts, you will know you need to contact a good lawyer.  Not an average lawyer.  A good lawyer.  A good lawyer is hard to find, but I know one and if you are interested in his contact details, send me a message.  He speaks Thai only, but since you have worked as a teacher for many years, hopefully you speak Thai too.

 

Oh, and for what it's worth, I'd also try to contact the person mentioned in the embassy posting you quote.  I would not expect anything, but there is no harm in trying that too.,

 

With kind regards. 

 

Edited November 22, 2018 by Awk

[Martin Woolhouse]

11 hours ago, Awk said:

 

There was a very knowledgable farang who was a prolific poster on this forum, though I've not seen him post much here for a while.   His name is MikeyIdea and I suggest you go through his older posts on this forum to learn what you can. 

Unfortunately TV suffers a lot from people who speak a lot but know little, so most of what they say end up being wrong,

but this guy knows what he is talking about better than any random lawyer you may happen to contact.

 

After you have learned what you can from his posts, you will know you need to contact a good lawyer.  Not an average lawyer.  A good lawyer.  A good lawyer is hard to find, but I know one and if you are interested in his contact details, send me a message.  He speaks Thai only, but since you have worked as a teacher for many years, hopefully you speak Thai too.

 

Oh, and for what it's worth, I'd also try to contact the person mentioned in the embassy posting you quote.  I would not expect anything, but there is no harm in trying that too.,

 

With kind regards. 

 

Thanks!

[sanemax]

On 11/20/2018 at 6:48 PM, Martin Woolhouse said:

sanemax, impossible. I have done nothing wrong, and tried at every juncture to negotiate with her family, because she will not give me a second of her time. She has made up soany lies about me (including saying that my son suffered sexual abuse while in my care last year), to ensure that her family protects her, and allows me nowhere near her.

She has quite probably told the same kind of things to your son and also turned him against you .

   I do understand that you want him back , but , if you did get him back, what then ?

He is probably settled in his own life now , in school , family and friends .

School friends , family , cousins and his mother .

  We are at a disadvantage here ,because we have no families here , no grandmothers, brothers or sisters to be part of the kids family .

   Finding a new woman to be the kids mother and everyone living happily ever after is possible , but a difficult thing to do .

   You may want your kid back , but would he want you back ? (Sorry to sound unpleasant, but I'm just stating the reality )

  Its a hard thing to deal with , when you are sitting with your son and hes upset and crying because he wants his mummy back 

[Awk]

1 hour ago, sanemax said:

She has quite probably told the same kind of things to your son and also turned him against you .

   I do understand that you want him back , but , if you did get him back, what then ?

He is probably settled in his own life now , in school , family and friends .

School friends , family , cousins and his mother .

  We are at a disadvantage here ,because we have no families here , no grandmothers, brothers or sisters to be part of the kids family .

   Finding a new woman to be the kids mother and everyone living happily ever after is possible , but a difficult thing to do .

   You may want your kid back , but would he want you back ? (Sorry to sound unpleasant, but I'm just stating the reality )

  Its a hard thing to deal with , when you are sitting with your son and hes upset and crying because he wants his mummy back 

 

 

 

If you read the rather short post by the op, he's not asking for help to take his son "back".  He's asking for help to see/visit/get access to his son, which apparently the mother has denied him for over a year, contrary to agreed custody and visitation rights.

 

I also thought benalibina's reply to you was  bit rude, but now I'm starting to thinking her reply to you was correct, as your post makes no sense in the current context.  

[sanemax]

2 hours ago, Awk said:

 

 

 

If you read the rather short post by the op, he's not asking for help to take his son "back".  He's asking for help to see/visit/get access to his son, which apparently the mother has denied him for over a year, contrary to agreed custody and visitation rights.

 

I also thought benalibina's reply to you was  bit rude, but now I'm starting to thinking her reply to you was correct, as your post makes no sense in the current context.  

Well apologies for adding my posts 

Martin Woolhouse: Sort your own problems out

[Martin Woolhouse]

3 hours ago, Awk said:

 

 

 

If you read the rather short post by the op, he's not asking for help to take his son "back".  He's asking for help to see/visit/get access to his son, which apparently the mother has denied him for over a year, contrary to agreed custody and visitation rights.

 

I also thought benalibina's reply to you was  bit rude, but now I'm starting to thinking her reply to you was correct, as your post makes no sense in the current context.  

Thank you!

[Been there done that]

5 hours ago, sanemax said:

She has quite probably told the same kind of things to your son and also turned him against you .

   I do understand that you want him back , but , if you did get him back, what then ?

He is probably settled in his own life now , in school , family and friends .

School friends , family , cousins and his mother .

  We are at a disadvantage here ,because we have no families here , no grandmothers, brothers or sisters to be part of the kids family .

   Finding a new woman to be the kids mother and everyone living happily ever after is possible , but a difficult thing to do .

   You may want your kid back , but would he want you back ? (Sorry to sound unpleasant, but I'm just stating the reality )

  Its a hard thing to deal with , when you are sitting with your son and hes upset and crying because he wants his mummy back 

You can't make this...... up. Unbelievable to question, does a child want a father back in his life. 

[Ks45672]

19 minutes ago, Been there done that said:

You can't make this...... up. Unbelievable to question, does a child want a father back in his life. 

Don't listen to the trolls, they're just  sad people trying to get a reaction from you.... ???? 

 

I have a child whose mother is an evil vindictive lying witch and there isn't much i can do about it, she has all the rights in the world and i have basically none 

 

I don't know her new address, phone number or other contact details etc so she can ignore everything if she wants to and even taking her to court would be difficult if nobody can even contact her... 

 

I have been told recently the child looks underweight and in a western country id have asked social services to check-in but in Thailand without any info that's not realistic 

 

 

[benalibina]

30 minutes ago, Ks45672 said:

Don't listen to the trolls, they're just  sad people trying to get a reaction from you.... ???? 

 

I have a child whose mother is an evil vindictive lying witch and there isn't much i can do about it, she has all the rights in the world and i have basically none 

 

I don't know her new address, phone number or other contact details etc so she can ignore everything if she wants to and even taking her to court would be difficult if nobody can even contact her... 

 

I have been told recently the child looks underweight and in a western country id have asked social services to check-in but in Thailand without any info that's not realistic 

 

 

Not unrealistic in your child's situation. If the malnutrition is easily visible then you are in with a shout. Trust me, i have visited snd contacted child welfare organisations in regards to emotional abuse to no avail because the abuse is not visible. Based on my dealings with them i think that there is a good chance that they would act in your kid's situation. Just go to city hall and ask for the proper dept and explain to them the situation.

 

Try it for the sake of your child.

[sanemax]

1 hour ago, Been there done that said:

You can't make this...... up. Unbelievable to question, does a child want a father back in his life. 

When his mother has indoctrinated in the kid , that you are a terrible person , the kid believes that .

    They cannot understand that you can give them a better live , an education to first World standards and a chance in life .

  They just love their third world village mummy and family 

[CharlieH]

Posts removed.

 

7) You will respect fellow members and post in a civil manner. No personal attacks, hateful or insulting towards other members, (flaming) Stalking of members on either the forum or via PM will not be allowed.
 

[sanemax]

1 hour ago, Ks45672 said:

Don't listen to the trolls, they're just  sad people trying to get a reaction from you.... ???? 

 

I have a child whose mother is an evil vindictive lying witch and there isn't much i can do about it, she has all the rights in the world and i have basically none 

 

I don't know her new address, phone number or other contact details etc so she can ignore everything if she wants to and even taking her to court would be difficult if nobody can even contact her... 

 

I have been told recently the child looks underweight and in a western country id have asked social services to check-in but in Thailand without any info that's not realistic 

 

 

Do what I did then .

Go to the village in a car with blacked out windows , knock on every door or forcible open and get your kid back, the law is unconcerned , take him back to a first World existence and he's unhappy and crying for his mum & family .

  "I have a good school for you to go to "

" I want my mummy"

Brutal  

[onera1961]

2 hours ago, Ks45672 said:

I don't know her new address, phone number or other contact details etc so she can ignore everything if she wants to and even taking her to court would be difficult if nobody can even contact her... 

I don't understand this. How do they pay child support then? If they pay to some Government Department, they should be able to trace her

[Ks45672]

26 minutes ago, onera1961 said:

I don't understand this. How do they pay child support then? If they pay to some Government Department, they should be able to trace her

She doesn't want money, she is doing it to be cruel 

 

58 minutes ago, sanemax said:

Do what I did then .

Go to the village in a car with blacked out windows , knock on every door or forcible open and get your kid back, the law is unconcerned , take him back to a first World existence and he's unhappy and crying for his mum & family .

  "I have a good school for you to go to "

" I want my mummy"

Brutal  

She is in a high rise condo with friends, cctv and security  etc, it would be impossible to do what you suggest without criminal charges.....unfortunately

 

 

 

 

 

Edited November 23, 2018 by Ks45672

[Scott]

Off-topic post and reply removed.  

[Martin Woolhouse]

8 hours ago, sanemax said:

When his mother has indoctrinated in the kid , that you are a terrible person , the kid believes that .

    They cannot understand that you can give them a better live , an education to first World standards and a chance in life .

  They just love their third world village mummy and family 

Good luck with your negativity!

[Been there done that]

19 hours ago, sanemax said:

Do what I did then .

Go to the village in a car with blacked out windows , knock on every door or forcible open and get your kid back, the law is unconcerned , take him back to a first World existence and he's unhappy and crying for his mum & family .

  "I have a good school for you to go to "

" I want my mummy"

Brutal  

Best to let the kid stay in an abusive and dysfunctional situation then ? One can not make this all up.

[sanemax]

25 minutes ago, Been there done that said:

Best to let the kid stay in an abusive and dysfunctional situation then ? One can not make this all up.

Better they live in a settled family environment 

[Been there done that]

46 minutes ago, sanemax said:

Better they live in a settled family environment 

Regardless of dysfunctionality and to be deliberately denied contact with the other parent. If that is...settled...for you ????

[Martin Woolhouse]

15 hours ago, sanemax said:

Better they live in a settled family environment 

Except it's far from a settled family environment. Again, you presume! Have you really any idea what youi talking about? I was the one who did everything with my son for the first 1917 days of his life. We were so close, and she became physically and mentally abusive towards my son, and I have it on very reliable information, that she continues to verbally abuse him, if not physically!

Would you be happy leaving your child in that kind of environment?

Would you be happy waiting 44 years for your 1st child, and then loving him unconditionally for the next 5+ years, teaching and nurturing him as only a loving parent can, only for him to be taken away by an abusive mother, with no explanation?

You really need to think carefully about what you say!

Opinions are opinions, but I would credit most people with gathering facts before judgement. It seems that you sir, are ignorant!

Good luck with your trolling! Now for the last time, stay away from this post!

To all of the good people out there, who are genuinely trying to provide advice and assistance, please ignore this sanemax character.

Thank you!

[sanemax]

59 minutes ago, Martin Woolhouse said:

Except it's far from a settled family environment. Again, you presume! Have you really any idea what youi talking about? I was the one who did everything with my son for the first 1917 days of his life. We were so close, and she became physically and mentally abusive towards my son, and I have it on very reliable information, that she continues to verbally abuse him, if not physically!

Would you be happy leaving your child in that kind of environment?

Would you be happy waiting 44 years for your 1st child, and then loving him unconditionally for the next 5+ years, teaching and nurturing him as only a loving parent can, only for him to be taken away by an abusive mother, with no explanation?

You really need to think carefully about what you say!

Opinions are opinions, but I would credit most people with gathering facts before judgement. It seems that you sir, are ignorant!

Good luck with your trolling! Now for the last time, stay away from this post!

To all of the good people out there, who are genuinely trying to provide advice and assistance, please ignore this sanemax character.

Thank you!

Although I was talking about my own situation, rather than yours .

I am in a similar situation to yours , although I took steps to get my kid back and I am just informing you that it isnt plain sailing after that and you all dont get to live happily ever after .

   There is probably quite a lot of animosity between you and mother and that wont go away and the Child will sense that and the Child will get caught up in the hostilities .

   From my situation and experience , the mother will know that she has the upper hand and she then can act as abusively towards you as much as she likes and you just quietly have to accept that , otherwise you will end up having another argument/disagreement .

  Then there are issues with the kid and how they perceive you , if they are with you all the time and have a normal father/child relationship , they do as they are told , you can teach them the basics , like not speaking with their mouth full , not running around restaurants , cleaning their teeth twice a day etc , the kids listen and do as they are told .

   When you see the kid once a week , you wouldnt have been able to teach them how to behave and thus you will spend alot of the time "moaning" and "telling them what to do" , either that , or you can just sit their quietly , getting verbal abuse from the mother and watching your kid misbehaving .

[Been there done that]

6 hours ago, sanemax said:

Although I was talking about my own situation, rather than yours .

I am in a similar situation to yours , although I took steps to get my kid back and I am just informing you that it isnt plain sailing after that and you all dont get to live happily ever after .

   There is probably quite a lot of animosity between you and mother and that wont go away and the Child will sense that and the Child will get caught up in the hostilities .

   From my situation and experience , the mother will know that she has the upper hand and she then can act as abusively towards you as much as she likes and you just quietly have to accept that , otherwise you will end up having another argument/disagreement .

  Then there are issues with the kid and how they perceive you , if they are with you all the time and have a normal father/child relationship , they do as they are told , you can teach them the basics , like not speaking with their mouth full , not running around restaurants , cleaning their teeth twice a day etc , the kids listen and do as they are told .

   When you see the kid once a week , you wouldnt have been able to teach them how to behave and thus you will spend alot of the time "moaning" and "telling them what to do" , either that , or you can just sit their quietly , getting verbal abuse from the mother and watching your kid misbehaving .

Did you fail to read that he loves his child ? Maybe love is an alien concept for you. For a man who claims that he is dealing with similar issues your responses on this and other topics are very odd. To say the least.

[sanemax]

11 minutes ago, Been there done that said:

Did you fail to read that he loves his child ? Maybe love is an alien concept for you. For a man who claims that he is dealing with similar issues your responses on this and other topics are very odd. To say the least.

I did read that and I do understand , although its better to act intelligently, rather than emotionally .

  Its rather unpleasant of you to make that suggestion about me  , although I am will to listen, why do you think that thats an "alien" concept for me ?

[Been there done that]

34 minutes ago, sanemax said:

I did read that and I do understand , although its better to act intelligently, rather than emotionally .

  Its rather unpleasant of you to make that suggestion about me  , although I am will to listen, why do you think that thats an "alien" concept for me ?

You "inform" him that the child is in an abusive and dysfunctional situation but that it is best for said child to remain in that environment for various reasons. 

 

It is the child who is suffering and because the OP loves him, he seeks info on how to get access to the child. And more i would assume. As you state to have been in a similar situation, best you offer him help. Instead of....

 

Why do you think that OP wants you away from this topic ?

[sanemax]

7 minutes ago, Been there done that said:

You "inform" him that the child is in an abusive and dysfunctional situation but that it is best for said child to remain in that environment for various reasons. 

 

It is the child who is suffering and because the OP loves him, he seeks info on how to get access to the child. And more i would assume. As you state to have been in a similar situation, best you offer him help. Instead of....

 

Why do you think that OP wants you away from this topic ?

It was the O.P who stated that , not me .

I did also state that its better for the child to live a settled life , rather than getting involved in the parents hostilities .

   I have suggested to the O.P that the best/only way to get the issue sorted out is to get on friendly terms with the mother/family again and hes unable to do that .

    I have also suggested that he goes and force ably get his kid back, but it seems that he doesnt want his kid full time, just occasional visits .

  Occasionally seeing his kid will not address the problem of his dysfunctional life , it will only exasperate the situation .

   The reality is that if the mother is hostile and confrontational and wants nothing more to do with him, theres nothing that he can do about that

 

[Been there done that]

10 hours ago, sanemax said:

It was the O.P who stated that , not me .

I did also state that its better for the child to live a settled life , rather than getting involved in the parents hostilities .

   I have suggested to the O.P that the best/only way to get the issue sorted out is to get on friendly terms with the mother/family again and hes unable to do that .

    I have also suggested that he goes and force ably get his kid back, but it seems that he doesnt want his kid full time, just occasional visits .

  Occasionally seeing his kid will not address the problem of his dysfunctional life , it will only exasperate the situation .

   The reality is that if the mother is hostile and confrontational and wants nothing more to do with him, theres nothing that he can do about that

 

The parents hostilities ??? Solely hers by the reads of it. With people who hold similar opinions as yours, it wont help children in situations like this. May the cycle of abuse be continued.