Seth1a2a Posted August 3, 2019 Share Posted August 3, 2019 4 hours ago, chickenslegs said: I’m thinking about removing my spine. I feel like it’s only holding me back. Here's the only thing missing from your one liners....... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post vogie Posted August 3, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted August 3, 2019 My ex wife has just texted me saying "wish you were here," she does it everytime she walks through the cemetery. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ballpoint Posted August 4, 2019 Share Posted August 4, 2019 (edited) Last night I dreamed I was the author of Lord of the Rings...I was Tolkien in my sleep. I've been charged with murder for killing a man with sandpaper.I only intended to rough him up a bit. I got to work this morning to find a lump of Plasticine on my desk.I don't know what to make of it. I bought a new SatNav it's really good,,,Yesterday I drove past a Zoo and it said Bear Left ..... Now that's clever ! Edited August 4, 2019 by ballpoint 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post ballpoint Posted August 4, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted August 4, 2019 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post ballpoint Posted August 4, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted August 4, 2019 2 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Andrew Dwyer Posted August 4, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted August 4, 2019 When that random number text doesn’t work out well !! 2 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post WorriedNoodle Posted August 4, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted August 4, 2019 1 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vogie Posted August 4, 2019 Share Posted August 4, 2019 My teapot has just had a big arguement with my kettle, but it's been brewing for a long time. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Seth1a2a Posted August 4, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted August 4, 2019 A burglar crept into a dark house and as he crossed the room he heard a voice say, "JESUS IS WATCHING YOU!" He froze in his tracks and waited. He started walking again, and again the voice came "JESUS IS WATCHING YOU". Finally the burglar's eyes adjusted to the dark and with great relief he saw a parrot in a cage in the corner. "What's your name," he asked the parrot. "Bonzo" said the parrot. "Who gave you that stupid name" sneered the burglar. "The same guy who named the Rottweiler Jesus." 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrew Dwyer Posted August 5, 2019 Share Posted August 5, 2019 Time to hang up the car keys Margaret !! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrew Dwyer Posted August 5, 2019 Share Posted August 5, 2019 Poor choice of album title there fellas !! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
faraday Posted August 5, 2019 Share Posted August 5, 2019 Didn't believe the above was real. I checked, & it is genuine!! This is too: 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post WorriedNoodle Posted August 5, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted August 5, 2019 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Andrew Dwyer Posted August 5, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted August 5, 2019 Didn't believe the above was real. I checked, & it is genuine!! This is too: Don’t forget the breakaway solo album !! 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrew Dwyer Posted August 5, 2019 Share Posted August 5, 2019 Loretta !! What were you thinking !! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrew Dwyer Posted August 5, 2019 Share Posted August 5, 2019 I’m so sorry Freddie [emoji20] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Andrew Dwyer Posted August 5, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted August 5, 2019 Once you hear this guys music you never go back ...... allegedly !! 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrew Dwyer Posted August 5, 2019 Share Posted August 5, 2019 So this is where The Donald got his idea from [emoji848] 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrew Dwyer Posted August 5, 2019 Share Posted August 5, 2019 Oh Leonard don’t be cruel [emoji51] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrew Dwyer Posted August 5, 2019 Share Posted August 5, 2019 Where’s Wally ??Here he is ! bring the straight jacket !! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrew Dwyer Posted August 5, 2019 Share Posted August 5, 2019 Oh Eddie !!Wait until the bishop hears about this !! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrew Dwyer Posted August 5, 2019 Share Posted August 5, 2019 Featuring her number one hit “ a gottle of geer “ !! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrew Dwyer Posted August 5, 2019 Share Posted August 5, 2019 I don’t read Dutch but this has to be rude [emoji848] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrew Dwyer Posted August 5, 2019 Share Posted August 5, 2019 I’m sorry but it’s hard not to !!( is that a guy holding the guitar ? ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrew Dwyer Posted August 5, 2019 Share Posted August 5, 2019 Don’t worry Judy I’m sure he’s figured you have enough problems !! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrew Dwyer Posted August 5, 2019 Share Posted August 5, 2019 Now this one is oddly interesting, wonder if there’s a dvd ?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrew Dwyer Posted August 5, 2019 Share Posted August 5, 2019 And finally !! Yes, you should have been, all three of you !! Wait a minute where’s number 4 ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chickenslegs Posted August 5, 2019 Share Posted August 5, 2019 24 minutes ago, Andrew Dwyer said: Oh Eddie !! Wait until the bishop hears about this !! This is the sanitised version. It all started when he needed something to moisten his fingers when turning the pages of the sheet music. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrew Dwyer Posted August 5, 2019 Share Posted August 5, 2019 This is the sanitised version. It all started when he needed something to moisten his fingers when turning the pages of the sheet music.Yup, she was facing the other way on the “ backside “ [emoji849] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post ballpoint Posted August 5, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted August 5, 2019 (edited) 1 hour ago, Andrew Dwyer said: And finally !! Yes, you should have been, all three of you !! Wait a minute where’s number 4 ? Forget about number 4, just look at what all that Dick handling's done to the eye of the poor chap on the right. Mother was right. You will go blind! Edited August 5, 2019 by ballpoint 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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