bluesofa Posted September 20, 2019 Share Posted September 20, 2019 Just now, ballpoint said: He's behind you! Oh no he's not! Oh yes he is! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post ballpoint Posted September 20, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted September 20, 2019 2 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
owl sees all Posted September 20, 2019 Share Posted September 20, 2019 On 9/17/2019 at 4:12 PM, scottiejohn said: And anyway; I'm gay! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottiejohn Posted September 20, 2019 Share Posted September 20, 2019 5 hours ago, owl sees all said: And anyway; I'm gay! I thought all "gays" were princesses! "anyway". Oops I think I might have put that better! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottiejohn Posted September 20, 2019 Share Posted September 20, 2019 15 hours ago, chickenslegs said: Two parrots are sitting on a perch. One says, “I smell something fishy.” The other says, “me too.” This is a great oppor-tuna-ty for some well plaiced fish puns. Do you need some time to mullet over? Sorry I am late in taking the bait, hook line and sinker-I must admit, but I have been all at sea trawling another plaice where I was casting about and got battered for chipping in with my penny worth. It was only after some old bones of a salty old seadog from Iceland could not Findus the little shrimp of a networker who streamed your dammed post to me that I was steamed up enough to poach the contents of my thesaurus and recast some very fishy and tenuous puns back at you! PS; Please take what bones from the above tale as you wish but don't let the scales fall from your eyes. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottiejohn Posted September 20, 2019 Share Posted September 20, 2019 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottiejohn Posted September 20, 2019 Share Posted September 20, 2019 A young couple are trying to save money on their summer vacation. They bring their bags to the discount airline desk to check in. "Do you have reservations?" asks the woman behind the counter. "More than a few," the young man answered, "but we're flying with you guys anyway." 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post scottiejohn Posted September 20, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted September 20, 2019 3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottiejohn Posted September 20, 2019 Share Posted September 20, 2019 On a visit to see his grandmother, a teen boy listens as she goes on and on about the cost of living. "When I was a young girl," she moans, "you could go to the store with a dollar and come home with enough food to feed your family for weeks!" "Well, Grandma," the boy replies, "we learned about that in school recently, and that's called inflation." "Inflation nothing!" the grandmother answered. "It's all these darn security cameras they've got today!" 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post scottiejohn Posted September 20, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted September 20, 2019 4 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottiejohn Posted September 20, 2019 Share Posted September 20, 2019 A husband and wife are staring at their garden. "Sooner or later," the wife comments, "you're going to have to put in a better scarecrow." "What's wrong with the one we've got?" asks the husband. "It scares away all the birds and it's still got a few good years left." "I agree," the wife says, "but my mother can't stay out there forever." 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post scottiejohn Posted September 20, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted September 20, 2019 2 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Andrew Dwyer Posted September 20, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted September 20, 2019 Sorry I am late in taking the bait, hook line and sinker-I must admit, but I have been all at sea trawling another plaice where I was casting about and got battered for chipping in with my penny worth. It was only after some old bones of a salty old seadog from Iceland could not Findus the little shrimp of a networker who streamed your dammed post to me that I was steamed up enough to poach the contents of my thesaurus and recast some very fishy and tenuous puns back at you! PS; Please take what bones from the above tale as you wish but don't let the scales fall from your eyes.Oh for god’s hake, no more fish puns please !!This is neither the time nor the plaice for this !!Sorry if this seems rude but salmon had to say it.You really need to clam down a bit.Okay, one more ???? 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottiejohn Posted September 20, 2019 Share Posted September 20, 2019 32 minutes ago, Andrew Dwyer said: Oh for god’s hake, no more fish puns please !! I know I have carped on enough and I am sorry if I have made a rod for my own back but I was having a whale of a time swimming against the tide to land a sucker punch in trying to clam his pearly white snappers shut. I think eel be alright if we stop winding him up and spinning him any more fly by night tails. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottiejohn Posted September 20, 2019 Share Posted September 20, 2019 (edited) The following are plagiarised! I’m hooked! I won’t be cod dead participating in this. Actually, I’m just expecting someone else to mussel in on this any minnow now. The socialite was so-fish-ticated! Stop carping on – you’re giving me a haddock. We all just need to clam down now – I’m a bit shell shocked. Can’t you guys do any Betta than this? We’re just hoping to avoid turtle disaster here! Oh for cods sake, not another fishy one-liner! You don’t have to be a brain sturgeon to come up with a fish pun. Cod I borrow some money, all mine is in the river bank? Everywhere I look, all I sea are bass-icaly cod awful puns! We whale-y need to stop now – I can’t take it a-nemo! Are you trying to gill-t me into stopping these fish puns? Sorry, my attempt at a joke was a pile of carp. Edited September 20, 2019 by scottiejohn 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottiejohn Posted September 20, 2019 Share Posted September 20, 2019 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottiejohn Posted September 20, 2019 Share Posted September 20, 2019 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottiejohn Posted September 20, 2019 Share Posted September 20, 2019 (edited) i porpoise I am Finished! Edited September 20, 2019 by scottiejohn 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sunnyboy2018 Posted September 20, 2019 Share Posted September 20, 2019 On 8/21/2019 at 11:34 AM, scottiejohn said: I would have thought a "bob" (old shilling) was cheap for his services or would that be a quick bob in and a bob out before *rsing about and parting good friends? I am of course talking tongue in cheek as the two gay friends Gerald Fitsbob and Bob Fitzgerald commented. And their Scottish friends: Ben Doon and Phil McGavity! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bluesofa Posted September 20, 2019 Share Posted September 20, 2019 1 minute ago, sunnyboy2018 said: And their Scottish friends: Ben Doon and Phil McGavity! I thought they were both dentists? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottiejohn Posted September 20, 2019 Share Posted September 20, 2019 (edited) 1 hour ago, bluesofa said: I thought they were both dentists? Were they just down in the mouth, or did they both end up with larger holes than they expected after they entered there, or were they well filled after their drilling?. ???????? PS; Sorry for the boring response! Edited September 20, 2019 by scottiejohn PS; added (as usual) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottiejohn Posted September 20, 2019 Share Posted September 20, 2019 1 hour ago, sunnyboy2018 said: And their Scottish friends: Ben Doon and Phil McGavity! And their Irish counterparts were Patrick Fitzgerald and Gerald Fitzpatrick! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
faraday Posted September 20, 2019 Share Posted September 20, 2019 9 minutes ago, scottiejohn said: And their Irish counterparts were Patrick Fitzgerald and Gerald Fitzpatrick! Don't forget the man of Kent, Ben Dover. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrew Dwyer Posted September 20, 2019 Share Posted September 20, 2019 Don't forget the man of Kent, Ben Dover.Also his buddy Phil McKracken 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
faraday Posted September 20, 2019 Share Posted September 20, 2019 1 minute ago, Andrew Dwyer said: Also his buddy Phil McKracken And his cousin, Hugh Jass. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
faraday Posted September 20, 2019 Share Posted September 20, 2019 There was also Hugh G Rection 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post fasteddie Posted September 20, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted September 20, 2019 4 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Andrew Dwyer Posted September 20, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted September 20, 2019 I bought a dog off a blacksmith today and when I got it home it made a bolt for the door !How good is that !! 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WorriedNoodle Posted September 21, 2019 Share Posted September 21, 2019 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WorriedNoodle Posted September 21, 2019 Share Posted September 21, 2019 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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